by Josh Lacey
Granny looks quite frightening, too, although she’s just wearing a witch’s hat made from a cereal box.
Even Emily is a bit scary in her sheet.
It’s a pity no one is going to see us dressed up.
Eddie
From: Edward Smith-Pickle
To: Morton Pickle
Date: Tuesday, October 31
Subject: Zombie attack
Attachments: More candy apples; Zombie rampage
Dear Uncle Morton,
The costume competition starts in one hour, but we’re still at home.
Gordon suggested we try apple bobbing. Apparently that’s a tradition in Scotland on Halloween.
But I don’t feel like bobbing for apples.
I want to win first place in the costume competition.
By the way, your dragons haven’t just ruined Halloween for us. They’ve now messed it up for several other people, too, because only ten minutes ago, the doorbell rang. I grabbed the tray of candy apples and opened the front door.
There were three zombies outside waving their arms and shouting, “Trick or treat! Trick or treat!”
They were dripping blood all over the front yard.
They looked very realistic.
In fact, Ziggy must have thought they were actually zombies because she shoved me aside and breathed a great gust of orange fire at them.
Then she chased them down the front path.
I’ve never seen zombies run so fast.
If Ziggy carries on like this, we’re going to have a lot of candy apples left over.
Eddie
From: Edward Smith-Pickle
To: Morton Pickle
Date: Tuesday, October 31
Subject: Trick or treat?
Attachments: Neighbors; Parade; Sugar rush; Fireworks
Dear Uncle Morton,
Happy Halloween!
This time I really mean it.
Mom let us go to the Halloween Parade.
Gordon persuaded her to change her mind. I don’t know how he did it, but they were whispering for ages, and then she said yes.
I think she must be in a good mood because of getting married.
Granny said let’s see if it lasts.
I asked if she meant the good mood or the marriage, and Granny said, “Either would be nice.”
Anyway, Mom said we could go trick-or-treating and enter the costume competition as long as we behaved ourselves, and didn’t talk to strangers, and looked both ways before crossing the road, and always did exactly what Granny and Gordon said.
Mom stayed behind with Arthur, just in case he pooped, so only five of us went: Emily the ghost, Granny the witch, Gordon the devil, me the skeleton, and Ziggy as herself.
First we went trick-or-treating.
Gordon let us ring the bell of any house with a pumpkin in the window.
You wouldn’t believe how much candy we got.
Every house was just the same. We hardly even got a chance to say “Trick or treat!” People took one look at Ziggy and handed over whatever they had.
Gordon said we had enough candy to open a candy store.
I know you don’t like Ziggy having too many sweets, so I only gave her a few.
Even so, she got a bit of a sugar rush. Her eyes went a bit wild and her whiskers started twitching.
I didn’t give her any more after that, but unfortunately Emily handed over a bunch of lollipops and two whole packs of gummy bears.
Ziggy gulped them down without even bothering to take off the wrappers.
Then we went downtown for the Halloween Parade and the costume competition.
The street was jam-packed with ghosts and ghouls and vampires and witches and wizards and trolls and goblins, plus two Batmans, three Robins, and a princess.
We all marched past the judges. They were taking notes on all the costumes and whispering to one another.
What happened next was probably my fault.
I was trying to look really skeletony in front of the judges, so I wasn’t paying very much attention to Ziggy.
I don’t know if I could have done anything even if I had been watching her, but at least I could have tried.
The first thing I heard was a loud hiccup.
Then she gave an enormous burp.
When I turned to look at her, she was flapping her wings.
I tried to grab her, but it was already too late.
She flew straight up into the air and did a somersault.
Then she did about seventeen more while breathing fire in every direction.
Everyone was cheering and clapping.
It was like our own personal fireworks display.
The judges were watching her, too. They were all pointing into the sky and looking completely amazed. I hope they didn’t forget to look at our costumes.
I wanted to go back and walk in front of them a second time, but Granny said it was time to go home.
She’s used to the weather in Spain, so she feels the cold more than the rest of us. She says it gets into her bones.
I hope you’re having a good Halloween in Scotland. Did you get any trick-or-treaters on your island?
Love,
Eddie
From: Edward Smith-Pickle
To: Morton Pickle
Date: Wednesday, November 1
Subject: Space bar
Attachments: Fatty
Dear Uncle Morton,
I hope you can read this, because there is a fizzing sound coming from the back of the computer and I don’t know how much longer it will even work.
Also, the space bar fell off again and now I’m using half a pencil instead.
Gordon says I get full marks for ingenuity, but first-place prize in the costume competition would be even better. I just hope the judges got a proper look at our costumes.
They are announcing the prizes tomorrow, so we are all keeping our fingers crossed.
Arthur still hasn’t pooped. His tummy is getting so big he can hardly even fly anymore. I’m really quite worried about what will happen if he doesn’t poop soon.
Do you think dragons can explode?
Mom says he has to stay in his cardboard box just in case.
She doesn’t want bits of him all over her kitchen.
You will be glad to hear that Ziggy is fine after her sugar rush. She has spent the whole day asleep.
We haven’t given her any more candy.
We haven’t actually had any more ourselves. Mom confiscated the whole pile and put them in the cabinet.
We’re going to be allowed one a day on weekdays and two on Saturdays and Sundays.
At that rate, they’ll last us until next Christmas.
Love,
Eddie
From: Edward Smith-Pickle
To: Morton Pickle
Date: Thursday, November 2
Subject: Thief
Attachments: The cabinet
Dear Uncle Morton,
We didn’t win the competition.
We did get a prize, but it wasn’t first.
Gordon says third prize is just as good as first, but I know he’s only trying to be nice.
Also, a bunch of flowers really isn’t as good as a new computer.
Mom says we’ll have to wait until she gets a pay raise.
I just hope she gets one soon. The noises coming out of this computer are getting stranger all the time.
Also, you owe me some candy.
Actually Ziggy and Arthur do, but Mom says you’re their owner, so any thefts or damages are your responsibility.
This morning before anyone came down for breakfast your dragons broke into the cabinet.
I don’t know how they got in there. The latch on the door is too hard for me to open. But somehow they managed to twist it around.
They took all my candy, and all of Emily’s, too, and some others that Mom was keeping for a special occasion.
To be honest, we’re quite annoyed with them.
I wouldn’t have minded giving them a few of my candies, but why did they have to eat them all?
Granny says you were always stealing sweets from the cupboard when you were a little boy.
I couldn’t imagine you stealing anything from anywhere, but Granny said you used to be a little terror.
Were you really, Uncle Morton?
Love,
Eddie
P.S. Click this link to see the whole story:
http//www.bestlocalnews.com/vampire-wins-first-prize.html
COUNTY NEWS UPDATE:
Vampire Wins
First Prize in
Halloween Parade
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 1st PLACE AN AD SUBSCRIBE
This year more than two hundred people attended the traditional Halloween Parade.
During the evening, they were lucky enough to see a surprise firework display provided by a local resident.
The costume competition was judged by a panel of local experts, who said the standard was higher than ever.
After a long and heated discussion, the judges awarded first prize to a vampire.
Agnes Kranowski, 11, was dressed as the daughter of Count Dracula, while her brother Tomas went as her coffin.
Agnes and Tomas went home with a brand-new laptop from the Technology Store, the perfect place to upgrade your computer and purchase any accessories.
Second prize of $50 of books from The Village Bookstore went to Michelle Hussein, 7, who was dressed as a headless ghost.
Third Prize of $10 of flowers from Betty’s Blooms went to a skeleton and his magnificent Chinese dragon kite.
The winner of the third prize has not yet come forward to claim their flowers. If you are the owner of the skeleton costume and the kite, please contact Betty at Betty’s Blooms.
Betty’s Blooms
Flowers for every occasion
Free local delivery
Email: [email protected]
From: Edward Smith-Pickle
To: Morton Pickle
Date: Friday, November 3
Subject: Diamonds are forever
Attachments: Cherry
Dear Uncle Morton,
Arthur has pooped out the ring!
It must have been the sugar that did it.
When we came down for breakfast there was an enormous piece of steaming black poop on the carpet near the back door.
On top of the poop was the ring.
It looked like the cherry on a cake.
Unfortunately it isn’t really a ring anymore. It’s more like a lump.
The gold must have melted while it was inside Arthur.
The diamond is fine. It came unstuck from the rest of the ring, but it’s perfectly clean now that we’ve washed off all the poop.
Unfortunately, Mom can’t wear the diamond on her finger without its ring.
Gordon is very upset. He says his great-aunt Isla would be turning in her grave if she could see it.
Emily said rings don’t really matter and what’s important is getting married to the person you love.
Gordon said his great-aunt Isla wouldn’t think so.
I hope he isn’t having second thoughts.
Love,
Eddie
From: Edward Smith-Pickle
To: Morton Pickle
Date: Saturday, November 4
Subject: Computer
Attachments: Technology Store; Betty’s Blooms
Dear Uncle Morton,
I am writing this on OUR NEW COMPUTER!
Can you tell?
It’s amazing being able to see the screen.
Also, all the keys on the keyboard work. Even the space bar.
Gordon bought it for us.
Actually, he didn’t really buy it for us. He bought it for Mom, so she can do her spreadsheets for the wedding.
But Mom says Emily and I can use it whenever we want, as long as we’re not playing games or wasting time.
We got it this afternoon from the Technology Store. While we were there I saw the computer which was first prize in the costume competition. It looked quite nice, but ours is even better.
After the computer shop we went to Betty’s Blooms to collect our prize.
Betty wanted to know why we hadn’t brought our kite to the shop. I explained she was asleep.
She wanted to know where she could get one of her own, and I said she would have to find the right cave in Outer Mongolia.
Also, she wrote down the name of your book. She’s going to get it out of the library.
Then Betty gave us the $10 gift certificate, and we bought a big bunch of flowers.
They were really pretty.
In fact, Gordon thought they were so pretty he bought them from us for $20.
I said that was much too much, but he said it was money well spent.
He gave $10 to me and $10 to Emily and the flowers to Mom.
I’ve got to go now. Mom and Gordon want to use the new computer to plan their wedding.
We’ve been helping them decide the menu.
They’re going to have a ceilidh.
I thought that was something to eat, but actually it’s a kind of Scottish dance. And it’s pronounced “kay-lee,” if you were wondering.
Gordon has been teaching us how to do it.
Love,
Eddie
P.S. Mom asks if would you be able to give her away?
From: Morton Pickle
To: Edward Smith-Pickle
Date: Saturday, November 4
Subject: Re: Computer
Dear Eddie,
Congratulations on your new computer!
I’m terribly sorry that Arthur ate all your candy. Of course I shall buy you and Emily more when we next meet.
I certainly didn’t steal any sweets myself when I was a boy. My mother must have mixed me up with someone else.
Please tell your own mother that I would be flattered to give her away at her wedding. When will it be? I shall put the date in my diary and make sure that I am in the country.
You will be glad to hear that my preparations for Oregon have gone swimmingly, and I shall be setting out on the trail of Bigfoot just before Christmas. Would you like to come, too?
With love from your affectionate uncle,
Morton
From: Edward Smith-Pickle
To: Morton Pickle
Date: Sunday, November 5
Subject: ETA
Attachments: Big hug
Dear Uncle Morton,
I hope you’re going to be at home today, because Ziggy and Arthur are on their way back to Scotland.
Gordon left first thing this morning. If he doesn’t hit any bad traffic, they should be back in time for dinner.
Mom is still feeling a bit weepy.
They haven’t decided the date of the wedding, but Mom says you will be the first to know.
I asked shouldn’t me and Emily be the first to know, and Mom said it was just an expression. So maybe you will be the third to know.
I’d better go now. We’re taking Granny to the airport. She’s flying back to Spain.
She is very sorry she didn’t get to see you, but at least she met your dragons.
Love,
Eddie
P.S. I asked Mom if I could go to Oregon with you to search for Bigfoot, and she said only when I’m 18. Could you wait until then?
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About the Author and Illustrator
JOSH LACEY is the author of many books for children, including The Island of Thieves, Bearkeeper, and the Grk series. He worked as a journalist, a teacher, and a screenwriter before writing his first book, A Dog Ca
lled Grk. Josh lives in London with his wife and daughters.
GARRY PARSONS has illustrated several books for children and is the author and illustrator of Krong!, winner of the Perth and Kinross Picture Book Award. Garry lives in London.