Srikrishna- the Lord of the Universe

by Shivaji Sawant

  The unprecedented, thrilling Great War between Kauravas and Pandavas had begun!

  I exhaled a sigh of relief. The Himalayan tension on my mind abated immediately. Again, I began talking normally with my friends.

  We Kshatriya ladies never felt anxious about the thrilling events on the battlefield throughout our lives. It is ingrained in us that life itself is a battle.

  Every day all of us calmly heard about the exciting events of the war one after the other. Sometimes someone from us would be miserable on hearing about the loss of her relative in the war. I would then hold her close and console her by patting her. Now all of them had begun calling me tai instead of Maharani. Subhadra had emotionally come closer to me like never before. She also began consoling many by inner inspiration.

  The evening of the thirteenth day of the war descended on our camp. All the news that the war messenger had brought so far was hopeful with respect to the outcome of war. So far none of the major Pandava warriors had fallen in the war.

  But today at the centre of the ‘Chakravyuha’ formation arranged by Guru Drona, a fierce battle took place between Duryodhana’s son Lakshmana and our Abhimanyu. Lakshmana had struck a blow of the mace on unconscious Abhi and killed him.

  Jayadratha had asked ‘Where is your mace?’ and insolently kicked the lifeless body of dead Abhi. Abhi’s head remained stuck in the ground, only his torso turned around.

  My entire body flushed with rage hearing that news. Holding back my grief I tried to console Subhadra who was beating her chest while lamenting loudly, ‘Abhi – my Abhi’. Just then friend Krishna himself and Arjuna came into our pavilion only to console Subhadra. I was also moved to see Arjuna for the first time with his head hung low, that was usually held high. I composed myself again and moving forward I held both his arms tightly and shaking him frantically I shouted, “I want to see Jayadratha’s head. That scoundrel has kicked the lifeless body of my Abhi. Tell me oh archer, are you going to do it or not?”

  Composing himself, grief-stricken Arjuna said, “Krishney, I have already taken a vow in the Chakravyuha formation itself that I will kill Jayadratha before tomorrow’s sun sets or else I myself will enter into fire. Be calm.”

  Krishna and Arjuna consoled Subhadra and me and went to their camp. Subhadra still sobbed in the grief of losing her son. I kept patting her trying to console her, saying, “Calm down. Compose yourself Subhadra”. She had lost her only son. I couldn’t even imagine what she was feeling. I remembered what Krishna had once said, ‘Yajnasena, war is like a great yajna! No one can tell what kind of sacrifice one will have to offer in it.’ I wondered from whom and how many more sacrifices was this great yajna going to claim!

  Arjuna

  I am Arjuna! One of the famous five Pandava brothers. Very rarely, Kuntimata called me ‘Shendephal’ – the youngest child. As I grew older I came to know a fact about the ‘Shendephal’, that by law of nature many rare qualities are collectively found in the ‘Shendephal’. I considered only two relations in my life as supreme. First was that I was the ‘Shendephal’ of Kuntimata and more than that I was the first best friend of Srikrishna. These two relations offered me a lot in my life.

  In my life, I regarded only Srikrishna as Supreme. Everyone has a pride of his ‘self’. I took pride in the fact that I had surrendered my ‘self’ at Srikrishna’s feet.

  Initially I used to address him as ‘Srikrishna’ like the others. Later, Yadava priest Gargamuni explained to me from time to time that the epithet ‘Sri’ in his name has various shades. I experienced this strongly during many events in my life. Whenever I called him ‘Srikrishna’ I always felt that he was much taller than me, directly touching the sky! Just as vast and boundless as the sky!

  But when Draupadi came into my life after the Swayamwar, I gradually realized how appropriate it is to call him ‘Krishna’. Her calling him Krishna was supported many a times by Kuntimata, with which even I agreed. While calling him ‘Krishna’ sometimes I would feel that he was dwelling in my fist-sized heart and at other times I experienced that I myself was accommodated like a tiny particle in his heart that was as big as the sky. And it was he who taught me that Life means actual experience! Nothing else…!

  Possibly because of that I got into the habit of inadvertently calling him ‘Srikrishna’, whenever I wanted him to realize that he was much greater than me, and whenever I realized that I had made a mistake and I wanted to indicate that I was a being much smaller than him, unwittingly I would call him ‘Krishna’. Such was Krishna and Srikrishna who was so great that he occupied the whole of my life and yet remained much more beyond it!

  It was Krishna who clearly explained the meaning of my name ‘Arjuna’ to me. During our very first meeting at Kurukshetra near the Suryakunda he looked deep into my eyes and said, “The name ‘Arjuna’ befits only you. No one else can go even close to it! Try to understand the meaning of your name clearly and always remember it. Arjana means to acquire – to obtain. Your life’s fruitfulness lies in acquiring all selective knowledge in the world that takes one to the zenith of honour.” Since then he called me ‘Arjuna’. Sometimes he would call me ‘Sakha’ with affection. It was my experience that whenever he called me ‘Sakha’ my entire day would be filled with extreme joy. On such a day, some or the other virtuous deed was certainly carried out by me. That is why deep down in my heart I always felt that all the time he should call me only ‘Sakha’. Whenever he called me ‘Sakha’ with affection my face lit up. I came to know that only later, after I was told so by Udhodada and Draupadi.

  I had noted subtly that he addressed and considered only a few more chosen people as ‘Sakha’. The list included his charioteer Daruka, his best friend Sudama of Sudampuri, Mahatma Vidura and minister Sanjaya of Hastinapura. And the most important person was Uddhavadada.

  I had heard him address only Draupadi as ‘Sakhi’. Sometimes from Kuntimata or Balaramadada I had heard that in his childhood, in Gokul he called Radhika as ‘Sakhi’. He himself had told me that in remembrance of Radhika, every day he used to wear a fresh, white Vaijayanti garland on his chest. That is why sometimes even Radhika’s imaginary character would float in front of my eyes. As I reflected over Draupadi and Radhika being his ‘Sakhis’ I would inadvertently remember Rukminivahini. She was Krishna’s most favourite wife. After Kuntimata I revered her the most. I called Krishna’s seven other wives vahini too. All of them had different temperaments and were respectable.

  Whenever I thought of the thousands of women of Kamarupa whom he had rehabilitated in Dwaraka I felt – indeed, the meaning of womanhood that he had understood was not understood by a single warrior from any of the Kshatriya clans like us Pandavas, Yadavas, Kauravas, Viratas, Panchalas, Chedis and Magadhas. This was one of the main reasons why I regarded him as ‘Sri’. Kuntimata herself had brought this facet of his to my attention saying, “Arjuna, observe minutely how my Krishna treats every woman that he meets. Cultured behaviour is nothing else but this. You should also never forget it.”

  It was because of these teachings that I got married to the Naga daughter Uloopi, during my pilgrimage after my vow was broken. Srikrishna’s marriage to Jambavativahini was an exemplar for me. Even Bhimsena had it as an exemplar when he got married to Hidimba. I had accepted Naga daughter Uloopi– a child widow – as my bride remembering these two who were close to my heart.

  When I look back at my life in this way I vaguely remember Mount Gandhamadana. As Kuntimata had told us, all of us Pandavas were born on Mount Gandhamadana. While offering us the region of Khandavavana as our share of the kingdom Shakuni had meanly said in front of Krishna, ‘Pandavas are used to a life in the forest.’ What he said as political sarcasm was in fact the truth of life that we had actually experienced. Today I feel very proud of that life in the forest. It was the truth of life for us because we were born on the Shatashringa summit of Mount Gandhamadana. Later, during the stay in the forest I had to spend nine years on Mount Gandhamadana. As kings, we ruled the Khanda
vavana. We spent our years in the forest in the Kamyaka and Dvaita vanas. After the unprecedented Great War of Kurukshetra we ruled Indraprastha for a few years and then for our final journey we went to the forest of Himavana – the snow-forest. The Pandavas and forests were an inseparable couple right from our birth till the end. It must be because we were constantly in touch with the forests that our hearts remained simple, artless and pure even in all adverse conditions. Kuntimata and I always considered this as the blessing by our friend Krishna for us Pandavas. It was Srikrishna who taught us that if you are pure and positive in mind, the result will be positive no matter what the situation.

  As the five of us looked different, we appeared different to the world. It is also true that our temperaments were basically different. Yet, the five of us were a united, unbreakable entity like a mighty fist. Kuntimata played a crucial role in keeping it that way. Her daughter-in-law Draupadi also played an equally important role in that. But we knew very well that an invaluably large share of this credit went to Srikrishna – our beloved friend.

  Some events in our lives were unforgettable and proved to be the turning points in our lives. The very first event was that of the house of lac. The second was that of the Swayamwar of Draupadi. Then many more events like the burning of Khandava vana, creation of Indraprastha, killing of Jarasandha, the Rajasuya yajna, killing of Shishupala, Yudhishthira’s mindless gambling game and the calamity, Draupadi’s humiliation and so on. Any of these events could have caused a rift in our unity. But it did not happen. What was the reason behind that? It was the life-giving guidance of Kuntimata that we received in the first phase of our lives, and the gift of Srikrishna’s invaluable blessings that we obtained in the second phase of our lives. Sometimes even the thought, ‘What if Srikrishna had never met us in our lives?’ leaves me numb and at a loss for words. I feel terrified and restless.

  Personally, I was indeed his best friend. That is why later he counselled me during the Great War to help me wise up to my duty when I felt despondent and was veering away from it.

  Why did he choose only me for that eternal advice? In fact, Dhrishtadyumna of the Panchalas was the commander of Pandavas in that war. When he noticed that I was despondent and was not ready to do my duty, he should have actually approached commander Dhrishtadyumna, leaving me alone in my Nandighosha chariot. He could have just transferred the leadership of my army to him and continued with the war. He did not do so at that time. The reason behind that was his pure love for me.

  In his mind, he surely must have assessed the suitability of my elder brothers Yudhishthira and Bhimsena, before imparting the timeless and indispensable philosophy of the Gita. Why must Yudhishthira have not passed this acid test of his? As per my intellect, it was because Yudhishthira had proved that he could get completely obsessed with an addiction like gambling – an addiction that makes one forget one’s humanity. Krishna had not forgotten that in spite of being the eldest, instead of sacrificing his right he had expressed his wish to get married to Draupadi after the Swayamwar. So to speak Yudhishthira has always been speaking in the philosophical way that Krishna preached in the Gita to me. But those words never made any impression on the minds of the four of us who were younger to him, especially on Bhimsena’s mind. Why was it so? It was because whatever Yudhishthira preached throughout his life, he never practised it himself, whenever faced with a trying situation. In fact, as the eldest brother it was his responsibility to showcase his gallantry. He had become the Maharaja of Indraprastha because he was the eldest. But he never expressed any desire to visit the Dwaraka of Srikrishna with whose invaluable assistance Indraprastha was erected. He never actually went there. That is why I occasionally addressed Srikrishna as ‘dada’ also, but I always called Yudhishthira as Yudhishthira or Maharaja.

  Sometimes I wondered what if either Bhimsena I or were born as the eldest. If either one of us had become the Maharaja of Indraprastha, then how would things have been? But I never expressed this thought of mine openly. Was this behaviour of mine hypocritical? Not at all. I always respected the word of Kuntimata and Srikrishna as final– from the bottom of my heart. My utmost devotion to them was the strength of my life. It was in fact the essence of my life.

  Yudhishthira had a bit of an inconspicuous royal pride about the fact that his brothers would never disobey his word. Krishna was completely aware of that. If he would have preached the timeless philosophy of life in Gita to Yudhishthira, then Yudhishthira who played the gambling game insanely would have moved about from temple to temple giving shallow discourses about it.

  Then why didn’t he choose mighty and powerful Bhimsena? Everybody knew that Bhimsena was mighty. But when he was overpowered by valour, at times he would become uncontrollable. It was easy to puff up his pride about his strength but difficult to control him. Srikrishna himself was a mighty wrestler. Everybody thought he made Bhimsena take on Jarasandha himself. I never had that misconception. What would have happened if Bhimsena would have lost his control during the wrestling bout in Girivraja that lasted for so many days? Invincible Jarasandha would have definitely taken advantage of that. Bhimsena put the Bahukantaka hold around Jarasandha’s neck in the end. What if the exact opposite had happened and Jarasandha would have tightened the Bahukantaka hold around Bhimsena’s neck? Srikrishna would have come forward exactly at that moment. He would have openly indicated Bhimsena to seek pardon by raising his thumb. And in the same wrestling pit he would have challenged Jarasandha to fight with him. It was with this Bahukantaka hold that Krishna had killed Kansa who was much younger and more powerful than Jarasandha. Although everybody had forgotten it I remembered it well.

  Whether he was in a duel, on a battlefield or in his daily life, Srikrishna was like an iceberg, with only its tip visible and actually being eight times bigger under the water!

  Another weak point of Bhimsena was his hunger and sleep. That is why he had not chosen Bhimsena for the Gita.

  Then why did he choose only me as his best friend to preach the Gita? To tell you the truth this question never came to my mind. I was never ‘myself’. I was the breath of Srikrishna! Therefore, my life cannot be complete if he is omitted. In another sense, talking about him is like revealing myself. It is like a shadow trying to describe the actual figure in its entirety.

  In the beginning, I used to ask him, why should we do a particular thing? How should it be done? What will happen if we do it and what will happen if we don’t? But every time he convinced me with a smile in such a way that later I realized that the flow of his thoughts was very powerful, like a strong current of water that cannot be contained with two feeble hands. On some occasions, I clearly realized that though grandsire Bhishma and he both were Jalapurushas there was a big difference between them.

  Whenever I start thinking about Srikrishna like this, many events keep springing up in my mind like a jumping herd of deer running speedily. Flocks of colourful peacocks big and small, begin to alight gently on the shore of my mind, giving out their peculiar cries. I cannot keep my eyes focused on anyone in particular. I am narrating this story of Krishna and Arjuna as I recall it. I am fully aware that his life is like the everlasting quiver that I got along with the Gandiva bow; overflowing with events!

  Nowadays, as I try to find the meaning of his presence in our lives, I feel like a child who has lost his way in a thick forest.No criterion is enough to evaluate his character in its entirety. No matter what angle I look at him from, what I essentially feel is that he is vast and limitless – just like the clear blue skies! The piece of sky that one can see from the roof of a cottage and the vastness of sky that one sees when one comes out of the cottage – it is the same experience with him.

  Of late I frequently remember his first visit with us on the land of Kurukshetra near the Suryakunda and that too on the day of the solar eclipse. Today I realize that though it was the day of the solar eclipse the sunrise in my life had begun since that day itself.

  In this very first meeting with Srikri
shna at Kurukshetra I just felt like paying obeisance to him by sitting in the Virasana pose. Why did I feel like that and what else did I feel during this first meeting itself – I tried to discover and understand it throughout my life. I never found any satisfactory reason for that. I found it later, only when he preached before the beginning of the Great War at Kurukshetra. Whatever I understood was so concise that it contained the essence of my life. It was that he is a visionary, with the vision of the betterment of the entire human race in Aaryavarta. I am only a means to achieve that end.

  What I am telling you is how I saw him later, after many more years. It was before the beginning of the Great War – the great yajna of the lives of forty lakh warriors. The second time that he met me and the other Pandavas was at the time of Draupadi’s Swayamwar in Kampilyanagar. Many people think that it was here that he met us for the first time. In our childhood, we first appeared in Hastinapura from Mount Gandhamadana along with Kuntimata. He received the news about us in Dwaraka within a few days. After that he used to gather detailed information about us, on Vasudevababa’s instruction. On the occasion of the solar eclipse he met us at Kurukshetra along with Uddhavadeva. Since that day not a single day of us Pandavas and Kuntimata passed without remembering him and Uddhavadeva.

  The second time he met us was at the time of Draupadi’s Swayamwar. I didn’t know at all that he too had come to participate in the Swayamwar. Only three major happenings during the Swayamwar were deeply etched on my heart. The first was that Karna, the charioteer’s son, stepped forward with pride and picked up the bow of Shiva that was kept for the Swayamwar. At that moment while looking at his movements I intensely felt that Karna was also a Jalapurusha like Srikrishna and grandsire Bhishma. But the next moment I discarded that thought promptly. No way could a charioteer’s son be on an equal footing with grandsire and Srikrishna. After quite a while I came to know that Karna’s son Sudamana was killed by an arrow of mine. Word was that Karna had therefore taken a vow to execute me! The second happening was that of Draupadi’s words. It was not possible that any Kshatriya lady would ever speak of her own accord, during the Swayamwar. It wasn’t according to the norms of etiquettes. But Draupadi said with clear determination, ‘I will never become the wife or the daughter-in-law of a charioteer!’ And the third event was the visit of Srikrishna, Balaramadada and Udhodeva at the potter’s house in Kampilyanagar where we were residing. Really, what if Srikrishna wouldn’t have met us Pandavas on that day? The way Draupadi had looked at me on that day might have perhaps prompted me to vehemently oppose sharing her with all. I had strongly thought of doing it. That day, a unique facet of Srikrishna and Kuntimata got imprinted permanently on my mind. It taught me never to disobey the word of these two.