How to Unbreakup

by Rebekah L. Purdy

  “I’m beginning to feel like a superhero, coming to your rescue all the time,” he teased.

  I raised my head. “I could see you in spandex and a cape.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “Yeah, you’ve got that comic book hero look about you. You’re pretty ripped and fast. And I’ll admit you’re not bad on the eyes.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I groaned.

  The list said compliment him, not let him know you think he’s hot.

  “Is that so?” He glanced down at me, his cheeks tinged pink.

  “I—”

  “Hey, there you two are.” Dad popped his head out the sliding glass door. His gaze swept over us. “Do we need to have a talk?”

  “No,” we blurted out.

  “Chico had a snake,” I began.

  “And I rescued her,” Sage said.

  Dad turned just in time to see Chico run across the beach in pursuit of the black and yellowy-brown snake.

  “Oh, sorry about that.” Dad grinned. “Chico, leave that thing alone.”

  When we got to the deck, Sage set me down and Dad came outside with us.

  “Why were you looking for us?” I asked.

  Dad did his infamous clapping of hands. Oh brother. Now what?

  “We’re gonna go out to Oswald’s Bear Ranch today. You guys need to get ready to go.”

  We hadn’t been there in forever. It was a ranch where they took in black bears—like rescue cubs. You could walk around and see them up close. They even had a place where they allowed visitors to feed and pet the cubs.

  With a smile, I glanced at Sage. This summer really was about taking a trip down memory lane.

  ***

  “If you older four kids want to start walking around the ranch, go ahead. We’ll keep Caleb and Rochelle with us,” Dad said in the parking area of Oswald’s. “Here’s some money to buy apples for the bears.” He handed over the cash.

  Large fenced-in areas were marked out on the property, each with observation decks for taking pictures. Trails wound into the different wooded habitats that’d been set up for the animals.

  Allie bought us a bag of apples, then we headed to the first area. We climbed onto the wooden deck overlooking the black bears below. One of the large ones scratched his back on a tree. He looked just like an overstuffed teddy bear. Me and Allie both took pictures and then tossed some apples down to it. We watched another one lope around through the brambles before it lay in the shade.

  We took one of the paths leading away from the main hub, where we passed by the bear graveyard, which was kind of sad. There were wooden nameplates in place for each of the lost animals.

  Pockets of sunshine crept through the canopies above. Sage fell in alongside me, while Benji and Allie walked ahead of us. My brother nudged her playfully with his shoulder and she stole his baseball cap.

  “Is it just me, or do you think they’re into each other?” I said.

  Sage followed my gaze. “They’ve been hanging out more, that’s for sure.”

  I swatted at a bug that buzzed around us, my flip-flops making a “squeak-squeak” sound with every step I took.

  “It’s been nice being up here—away from school, the drama that is Rori and Michelle.”

  “You don’t have to hang around them, you know.”

  “Yeah. I’m planning to make this year different. Focus on what’s important to me.”

  Sage slowed down and glanced at me. “It’d be nice to see the return of the original Grace Evers.”

  “I’m working on it.” I smiled at him, realizing just how blue his eyes were. “You know, you should wear that color more often.” I gestured toward his shirt. “It really brings out your eyes.”

  He smirked. “Oh, so you like my eyes?” He batted his lashes at me.

  “Yes, they’re pretty. Now quit being a smart ass.”

  He let out a fake gasp then reached out to mess up my hair. “Oh, I’m gonna tell your dad you just cussed.”

  With a laugh, I dodged out of his way. “Fine, see if I ever give you a compliment again.”

  He caught up to me again. “You can only give me compliments if you mean them.”

  My throat went dry and I pretended to study some wildflowers on the side of the trail. “Well, I did mean it. You’re eyes are gorgeous. I’ve always thought so. And you’re super nice, good at soccer, and … ”

  “And what? Don’t let me stop you now.” He gently grabbed hold of my arm.

  And cute. The only boy I’ve ever kissed.

  “I-I’m not gonna finish this list. It’ll give you a big head.”

  “Maybe I need to hear what you have to say—I could be secretly hating myself right now.”

  I gave a fake cough. “Yeah, right.”

  “Are you saying I’m conceited? Because that’s sorta opposite of a compliment.”

  “No. You’re not conceited. Trust me, you’re the last person I’d ever say that about. Do you realize you’re probably one of the only people I know who’s real—who’s comfortable in their own skin?”

  “And you’re not?” Sage’s intense gaze undid me. With one look he magnified every atom inside me and read me like a book.

  “I used to be,” I said. “I’ve made so many shitty decisions over the years—things I wish I could take back.”

  He took a step closer to me, his hand slid down my arm leaving behind it a trail of goose bumps before releasing me. “Like what?”

  Here it was. My opportunity to come clean. To apologize for everything. To tell him how I felt.

  “For starters—”

  “Grace, Sage, come on,” Dad called down the trail. “We’ve paid to go in to pet and feed the bear cubs.”

  Damn, my dad had this annoying habit of interrupting every magic moment Sage and I almost had. It was like he had me wired and was listening into all our conversations, waiting for that vital moment to poof in like some crazy magician.

  “Coming,” Sage said. “We’ll finish this conversation later.”

  If I still had the courage. On the brink of throwing myself at his mercy, I wondered how good of an idea it was to actually tell him the truth. Just because he decided it was okay to renew our friendship didn’t mean he wanted me back.

  Chapter Eighteen

  The smell of sunscreen wafted in the warm afternoon air as I lay on the beach with Allie, thumbing through magazines. As of yet, I still hadn’t gotten the chance to be alone with Sage again. Which kind of sucked. But maybe it was for the best. At least for now.

  “What do you think of this dress?” Allie leaned over, pointing at a light blue sundress, with tiny white flowers on it.

  “That’s super cute. How much is it?”

  Her eyes widened. “Like a hundred bucks. Can you say highway robbery? My grandma could probably make me one for like five dollars.”

  I laughed and went back to reading an article about prom dates gone wrong. A moment later, a cold shadow drifted over me. I knew, even before I looked up that it was Lila. Mostly because of her nauseating fruit-scented lotion.

  “Hey, is Sage around?”

  In a second of weakness, I considered telling her no. But my conscience got the best of me. “Yeah, he’s inside. If you want, I can go up and get him.”

  “Sure, that’d be great.” She stood next to Allie, glancing over her shoulder at the designer clothes on the magazine pages.

  With a sigh, I hopped to my feet and hurried into the house. My eyes took a while to adjust to the dimness. A hazard of going from blinding beams of light to the indoors. Sage stood in the dining room, changing out fishing lures on his pole.

  “Hey, your brunette Barbie is here to see you,” I said.

  He glanced up. “You don’t like her very much, do you?”

  Sure, ask me a question that no matter how I answer I’ll sound like a douche bag. My face blazed. Maybe I needed to be less obvious in the “I don’t like her” department. “She’s nice enough—just—you know, she’s kind of fake and se
lf-absorbed.”

  “Should you really be the one judging her about that?”

  Oh snap. I do believe I just got bitch-slapped Sage style.

  “Well, I guess if anyone’s an expert on the subject it’d be me.” I tried to keep the hurt from my voice.

  “Grace, I—”

  “No, it’s okay. I get it. Have fun with Lila.” Without looking back, I spun on my heel and hurried out the door.

  Allie caught my eye and hopped to her feet, dropping her stuff to the ground. “Hey, let’s go into town. I want to stop at the Farmer’s Market.”

  She dragged me back into the house, past Sage, and into the game room. “Mom, can me and Grace drive into town? I really want to buy some fresh fruit.”

  Mrs. Castle glanced up from the puzzle she was working on with my mom. “Sure. Can you grab a couple containers of blueberries too? I’m thinking of making smoothies tomorrow morning.”

  “Yeah.”

  We slipped on our flip-flops and headed out to the car. When we opened the doors, hot air billowed out like we’d entered the bowels of hell.

  “Do you think we’ll melt if we climb in now?” I stared over the hood at Allie.

  “Don’t worry, Dad’s got napkins in the glove box, I’ll clean up the Grace puddle should you turn to mush.”

  We hopped in and Allie drove us into Manistique. Instead of heading right for the market, she pulled into a parking area right next to the boardwalk. We climbed out and made our way through the sand to the walkway. Joggers ran by us, while others walked their pets and kids. The deep blue water rolled in against the shore and pier. I stared out at the lighthouse, which sat at the end of it. A gull perched on top of it as if he was the keeper of the house. Not that I’d want him signaling to ships.

  “Come on, let’s walk out on the pier,” she said, tugging on my arm.

  As we made our way across the cement barrier, rocks scattered below. When we got out a ways, I turned to her. “Do you think I’m self-absorbed?”

  Her brow furrowed. “No. Why?”

  So I went on to explain the conversation Sage and I had. “So basically, he thinks I’m just like Lila.”

  “You do know that my brother is half asshole, right? He gets it from my dad’s side of the family.”

  I laughed, toying with my silver bracelet. “I probably shouldn’t have said that about Lila. But sometimes, I can’t help it.”

  Allie snorted. “Yeah, you should’ve. There’s nothing wrong with telling the truth. If Sage doesn’t want to hear it, then he can plug his ears.”

  “Nice. You realize, being his sister, you should defend his honor or something.”

  She shielded her eyes with her hand and glanced out over the lake. “In this case, I’m not.”

  “So, do you want to tell me what’s up with you and Benji?” I asked.

  Allie avoided my gaze and pretended to bend down to examine the water sloshing against the rocks below.

  “Nothing.”

  “You’re such a liar.”

  “Ugh! Fine. I think he’s cute and funny.”

  With a grin, I looped my arm through hers. “I knew it. Are you guys going out?”

  “No. I haven’t quite worked up the nerve to tell him yet.”

  “Why? He’s obviously into you,” I said.

  At last we reached the steps of the lighthouse and sat down.

  “It’s just we’ve been friends forever. I’m not sure if I want to chance it, you know.”

  Boy did I. Allie got to be a firsthand observer to my disaster with her brother. But did that automatically doom her and Benji?

  “Just because Sage and I didn’t work out, doesn’t mean things won’t for you.”

  She played with the strings on her cutoff shorts. “I know, but I saw how devastated Sage was when you guys broke up. I’d never seen him cry like that before—and haven’t since. It’s like it changed both of you.”

  “But I was also way stupid and you’re not.”

  “You’re not stupid, Grace. You just didn’t know who you were or what you wanted back then.”

  I leaned my head against her shoulder. “The thing is, you don’t want to look back and regret not trying or putting yourself out there. Even though Sage and I aren’t together, I’ve never regretted being his girlfriend.”

  “Thanks for the pep talk.” She smiled. “This summer is all about taking chances, isn’t it?”

  “Most definitely.”

  “So I think we need to move onto your next list item. Make him jealous.”

  “With Lila in the picture, I don’t think this is gonna be an issue. He’s moved on now. I think maybe we should toss the list in our next bonfire.”

  Allie stood, dragging me with her. “I’m not letting you give up yet. We’re only a couple weeks into summer.”

  “Allie.”

  “Nope. If you want me to put myself out there, then don’t be a hypocrite and not be willing to do the same.”

  A strand of my hair blew into my mouth and I swiped it back behind my ear. “Fine. I’ll give it another shot.”

  “That’s my girl.” She hugged me.

  I sure hoped I wouldn’t regret this. Because there were times in life when you needed to realize that no matter how bad you wanted something, it might not happen. And if I had to walk away, I wanted it to be with my heart still intact.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Over the next two days, I barely saw Sage. He’d been spending more time with Lila and less time with us. It was kind of like he’d been abducted. I only hoped there wasn’t any probing going on. The thing was, with him gone so much, my mind tended to wander to “what he could be doing” with her. The thought of him kissing another girl made my insides coil with nausea. So far I’d only witnessed hand holding, but that was enough to tear my heart into little pieces.

  Allie and I carried sleeping bags outside. We dropped them onto our lounge chairs, along with our pillows. Tonight we planned on sleeping on the beach.

  Cool air snaked around us, bringing with it the faint scent of campfire. With a sigh, I spread my bedding out, then climbed into my sleeping bag. I leaned back, staring at the sky. There were so many stars out—like they were infinite and for once I felt very small, insignificant. Light from the full moon reflected off the tops of the waves as they splashed against the sandy beach. In the distance, crickets spun their chirping tales, while wind rustled through the trees. Nature’s orchestra at its finest. A peaceful calm settled over me.

  But before I got too comfortable, I remembered I needed to put on bug spray. So I leaned down and grabbed it from my backpack, which was under my chair. I slid out of my sleeping bag, held my breath, and then dowsed myself in it.

  “No one better light a match next to me or I might go up in flames.” I coughed as I swallowed some of the bug repelling fumes.

  “Do I need to put a flammable sticker on your forehead?” Allie teased.

  “Might be a good idea.”

  “Here, hand that over. I don’t want any mosquitoes to think my ass is a buffet.”

  Once we were bathed in repellant, Allie took out one of her new magazines and turned on a flashlight.

  “Okay, we’re gonna both take this quiz called: What kind of guy should I date.”

  I groaned. “You can’t be serious.”

  “Oh, I am dead serious.” She held up her pen. “First question: What is your idea of a perfect date? A) movies, B) amusement park, C) sporting event, D) the beach, or E) a concert?”

  “This is hard. I love sports and the beach. Can I pick both?”

  “No. Come on—ideal date.”

  “Fine, the beach.”

  “Question two: If you could do one kind of dangerous or risky thing what would you choose? A) Bungee jumping, B) drive a motorcycle, C) mountain climbing, D) skydiving, or E) skinny dipping?”

  “How is skinny dipping dangerous?” I asked.

  “I don’t know. Maybe because you could get caught or some vicious fish could che
w off your lady parts.”

  I wrinkled my nose. From down the beach we heard voices, along with Lila’s annoying giggle. In the dim light, I could see Sage and Lila heading toward the house.

  Oh God, let them see us. I don’t want to be subjected to a make-out session.

  Behind them, I noticed another shadow trailing along. As the silhouette came closer, I recognized Logan’s tall frame.

  “Speaking of skinny dipping,” Allie whispered.

  “Funny.” I doubted she would ever let me live down the whole losing my bikini top thing.

  “What are you guys doing out here?” Sage glanced at us, dropping Lila’s hand.

  “We were waiting up for you,” Allie said. “We wanted to make sure you didn’t get attacked by coyotes on your way home.”

  Logan gave me a wave and as I sat up, it dawned on me that I was in my pajamas. Crap. Frantic, I tugged my sleeping bag up to my chin.

  “I’m sure you were concerned with my safety,” Sage said.

  Logan chuckled. “Well, my dad did make me come along to make sure Lila got home safe. Maybe there really is something in the woods. Something big and hairy with giant fangs.”

  “Logan, quit trying to scare us.” Lila clung to Sage’s arm.

  Good grief, she was like a leech. Always attached. I doubted she was even scared at all.

  Logan rolled his eyes then came over and sat on the ground next to me.

  “I haven’t seen you around much lately,” I said.

  “Yeah, I’ve been working a lot of hours at the marina.”

  “That sucks.” I turned on my side and propped myself up with my elbow.

  “It’s not too bad. I get to be outdoors a lot.” He picked up a small piece of driftwood and spun it around in his hand. “So, I have a day off tomorrow and wondered if you might want to do something with me?”

  My pulse raced. Logan might not be Sage, but he was definitely swoon-worthy. My gaze flicked to Sage and Lila. It was obvious what he wanted. And it wasn’t me. So why not enjoy my summer? Because I honestly didn’t know what more I could do on the Sage front to prove to him that I’d changed.