The LyricsTo His Song

by Krystal Armstead

  I shrunk back in my chair, not saying a got-damn thing in response because she was right. I came into that house with intentions on marrying Sean in hopes that maybe he would change for me. But after talking to the sister who never gave me a bit of sound advice in her life and finding out that marrying Sean would give me rights to Antwan’s music, I had to step in to help. My parents were prime examples that marriage was only a business deal. That love didn’t have shit to do with marriage. I wanted Sean to love me, but after Antwan kissed me the night before, I wasn’t so sure it was Sean’s love that I wanted.

  Sean shook his head at his mother before turning to me. “This has nothing to do with them and everything to do with us. I messed up. I should’ve never messed around with Brenda or with Fatima or with anyone. I have always had a hard time showing you that I care about you, you know that. But you also know that I’ve always cared about you. That I’ve always loved you. We don’t have to set a date yet; just give me some time to get myself together. Just say yes, that you want to marry me. That you’ll never leave me. That you’ll be mine forever. I know that I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’m asking you for it. Please, Audrey.”

  I just looked at him, trying my best not to cry as he slid that velvet ring box out of his pocket. I wanted to believe every word that came out of his mouth, but I knew him. Once he had me where he wanted me, he was going to go back to being the same old Sean. The Sean who didn’t love me until he ran out of options. I watched as Sean slid his ring onto my trembling finger. I flinched as my mother started taking pictures with her cell phone. I glanced at my father who was looking at me, waiting on my answer.

  I looked at my mother, who just wanted to see her oldest daughter married to a man who would take care of her financially. Then, I looked at Ms. Lee who was as independent as they came, not needing a man for shit. Then, I looked at my sister who was tired of seeing me let others dictate my life. Then, I looked at Sean, whose facial expression said that he would change for me before he lost me.

  I hesitated to nod, but nevertheless, it was a nod.

  “Lord, Jesus.” Ms. Lee shook her head as my mother clapped with joy.

  “You will? You’ll marry me?” Sean grinned, already pulling me closer to kiss him, something he hadn’t done in a long time. I mean, he kissed me, but the kisses he gave weren’t authentic. He always kissed me like he was kissing an old friend or some girl who he was just trying to hook up with for the night. But that day, the kiss he gave me was full of relief. Like he’d finally won something that he could be proud of.

  The doorbell rang.

  Amber looked at the two of us, shaking her head at the engagement. “I guess I’ll get the door.” She got up from the table. “It’s probably the flowers that my boyfriend, Scott, said he was sending me today. We had plans tonight, ya know. If I leave in an hour, I can get back to Georgia just in time to still go out tonight.” Amber strolled out of the dining room, on her way to answer the front door.

  “So, what are you two kids getting into tonight?” Ms. Lee sighed, not sure what else to say after I went against her advice.

  Sean shrugged. “Well, I really didn’t have anything planned for shawty. We usually stay home and watch movies on her birthday/Valentine’s Day. But,” Sean squeezed my hand, “tonight, let’s go on a cruise around the harbor. What do you think?”

  I shrugged. I should have been happy to be engaged, but I didn’t think I’d ever been more depressed. I looked down at the hand that he was holding, eying the huge diamond on my ring finger. It looked a lot better in the box than it did on my finger. It was heavy as hell. Not just on my hand but on my heart.

  “Congratulations, honey!” Mama squealed, watching me eying my ring. “I need to call my mother!” Mama stood from the table just as Amber slowly entered the dining room, stopping in the doorway.

  “Ummm…” Amber scratched between her pixie braids anxiously. “Sis, you have company.” She stood in the doorway, her eyes as big as coasters. She looked back over her shoulder, standing aside as Antwan and Apollo walked through the doorway and into the dining room.

  I gasped, eyeing the two brothers standing there, dressed in Givenchy urban attire. Antwan was dressed in all black, while his brother sported sky-blue; both had a purple bandana draped around their necks. I attempted to stand from the table, but Sean held my arm, grabbing me back to my seat. I looked at Sean as he let go of my arm and stood from the seat.

  “Mama,” Amber cleared her throat, “This is—”

  Mama spoke up, “I know who they are,” Mama snapped, looking Antwan in his face.

  “What I don’t know is why they’re here, in my house, uninvited at that?”

  Antwan grinned. “Good afternoon. I’m not trying to interrupt of intrude, but Karen Black says she’s been calling shawty.”

  “Shawty’?” My mother scoffed.

  “Miss Audrey all morning.” Antwan continued. “We are performing tonight at my brother’s club, and we need to practice, so…”

  Our parents looked at me. Dad was furious. Ms. Lee looked like she was actually amused.

  “Young man, we are having lunch.” My father stood from the table, glaring at Antwan. “I don’t give a got-damn who you are or how much money you make, you don’t just storm into my got-damn house and think it’s okay to disrespect my daughter in front of her fiancé. Get the fuck out of my house.”

  “Daddy!” I exclaimed, not believing my father, who almost never spoke up on anything, had the nerve to come off at Antwan that way. As if Antwan was the one in the wrong. Sean had done plenty of disrespectful shit to me throughout the years, that my father knew of, and never once had my father went off on him. I guess my father saw himself in Sean. And when he saw Antwan, I guess my father already knew Antwan’s intentions were to steal me away from Sean. The same way that plenty of men had tried to steal Mama away from my father.

  Antwan looked at me, glancing at my hand before I tried to slip it under the table. He shook his head and then looked back at my father. “I mean no disrespect to your house, sir. And I mean no disrespect when I say this either—fuck that ring.” Antwan snarled. “That ring don’t mean shit to me.”

  Sean tried to approach Antwan and his brother, but I jumped up from the table, pulling Sean back. “Sean, no, stop!” I yanked him back.

  Sean looked back at me, looking at me like I needed to sit my ass back down in that got-damn chair and let him handle the situation before I got handled. “Audrey, you need to sit back down in that chair,” Sean demanded.

  I let go of Sean’s arm, but I didn’t sit down.

  “We have a show to do tonight; that’s the only reason I’m here. Ain’t nobody intimidated by that lil’ ring. I mean, it’s cute, but she should have come to Jared.” Antwan grinned.

  Apollo smirked.

  There I was, pulling Sean back again until he finally pushed me off of him and approached Antwan.

  “I already told you that you don’t want no problems, Antwan. I’ma ask you one more muthafuckin’ time to leave my girl alone.” Sean snarled in Antwan’s face.

  Antwan scoffed, ‘nigga, you ain’t shit’ drawn all over his face. “Oh, so you think because you bought her a ring that you own her; is that it? Why are you so threatened by me? If you’re so sure that she belongs to you, then why are you so mad that I came to the party? It’s because you know that I can walk out that door with ‘your’ girl. Oh, before I forget—” Antwan dug in his pocket, taking out the cell phone that I dropped in the pool at his apartment building. And he handed it to Sean.

  Sean looked at it for a minute, glaring at it like he just knew that phone wasn’t mine that Antwan took out of his pocket. “The fuck is this raggedy-ass shit?” Sean eyed the cracks that were all over the front of the screen. He knew it was mine; he just didn’t want to believe it.

  “Your girl left it at my crib yesterday after our little swim in the pool.” Antwan could barely get the words out before Sean was reaching for the gun in h
is pants at the very same time that Apollo and Antwan were reaching for theirs.

  Mama and Ms. Lee were screaming hysterically.

  “Oh, hell nah! We ain’t about to have that shit up in here! Sean, chill the hell out! Antwan, Apollo, y’all need to leave.” Amber tried to defuse the situation, but it just kept getting worse.

  Antwan looked into Sean’s face. “It’s obvious that shawty loves you. You don’t deserve her, but that’s your muthafuckin’ ring on her finger. Regardless of what you think might have happened at my place last night, you’re the one about to wife her. What I’ve got going on with your girl is strictly business, so watch ya self, homie. If I really wanted your girl, I’d already have her.”

  Sean’s temples twitched, hand still over his gun.

  Antwan looked over Sean’s shoulder at me. “Lyric, you comin’ or what?” Antwan looked back at Sean.

  My family looked at me, shaking their heads at me with disapproval. All but Amber, who was behind me, pushing me forward. I looked at her over my shoulder.

  “Girl, you better go,” she whispered, shoving me in my back.

  Sean turned around, facing me as I approached the three of them. Sean looked at me like I better not make another move, but I kept on walking until I was standing face-to-face with both Sean and Antwan, Apollo stepping to the side, chuckling to himself.

  Antwan’s eyes traced my silhouette in my sexy A-line dress before looking back at Sean. He grinned a little.

  Sean turned to me. “Audrey, we have plans.”

  Amber shook her head at Apollo and Antwan. “No they don’t.”

  Sean glared at my sister and then looked back at me, “You’re really steppin’ out with this nigga? This nigga is the reason why you didn’t answer my calls last night? Audrey, are you—”

  “Sean Justin Lee!” Ms. Lee called out to her son.

  Sean looked back at her over his shoulder.

  “Let the girl go. She’s made it perfectly clear who she wants to be with, Sean. You’re about to own the company that this so-called superstar works for,” Ms. Lee boasted. “The employee has become the employer. I’m sure that must be hard for Antwan to deal with. Everything that he owns will become yours in a few days. I’m sure that must hurt.”

  Apollo and Antwan glared over at Ms. Lee, clicking their teeth.

  Sean looked back at Antwan, grinning.

  Antwan looked at him. “Yeah, I bet it hurts even more knowing that your wife will be working for me and not for him. That his wife is my employee. That I’ll be the reason why she’s working late hours. Yeah, best believe a nigga is gonna be working the shit out’cha wife. ”

  I pulled Sean back before those two, or should I say those three, starting firing at one another in my parent’s dining room. “Sean!” I yelped, pushing Sean away from the twins, standing in between them.

  Sean looked down at me, eyes glaring, temples twitching.

  I looked at Antwan, who was looking down into my face, shaking his head at me like he couldn’t believe I was giving my life to a man who wasn’t ready for me.

  Antwan looked at Sean, grinning before looking back at me. “Aye shawty, are you done playing make-believe? Is you comin’ or nah? We don’t got all day.”

  Chapter Six

  Kill For Mine

  There I was, jumping into the passenger seat of Antwan’s white Chevy Tahoe that afternoon. The look on both my family’s and Sean’s face when I walked out that door with the twins though. What was I supposed to do? I already knew Antwan called himself trying to rescue me when he showed up to my parent’s house. How he got my parent’s address, I had no idea. But he came to get me, and that had to mean something. What it meant, I wasn’t exactly sure. But something was telling me I was in for a strange chain of events.

  “Damn, that’s a big ass ring!” Apollo sat on the edge of the backseat, looking over my shoulder at my ring.

  I rolled my eyes.

  “Let me see that shit.” Antwan grabbed my hand, looking at my ring before looking into my face, shaking his head once we got to a stoplight. “It’s cute. It’s got a few scratches underneath the surface though, kind of like your whack-ass relationship with this nigga.” Antwan let go of my hand, taking off down the road as soon as the light turned green. His right hand gripped my thigh instead. That fool was trying his best to hike my skirt up a little higher so that he could feel my bare skin.

  I gasped a little, grabbing his hand. “You both were out of line today. I can’t believe y’all bogarted your way into my parent’s house, crashing my engagement lunch. How the hell did you two even know where the fuck my parents lived in the first place?”

  “Snare told us that Fatima was going over your parent’s place for lunch today. I asked my nigga for the address, and he gave it to me. What did the bitch have to say about fuckin’ around with ya nigga?” Antwan smirked.

  I frowned at him. “Nothing that meant anything. Fuck her.”

  Antwan glanced at me. “You’ll be a’ight, shawty. It won’t always be this way. I promise. You should’ve told the nigga to keep that ring though. Why did you say yes? You know you wanted to tell the nigga to get the fuck on with that bullshit.”

  I looked at Antwan. “Speaking of bullshit,” I changed the subject up real quick, “Brandie tells me she was blowing up your phone last night. What do you have her number saved as?”

  Antwan made a face at me like he didn’t have to tell me shit. “Her number is saved under worry-about-ya-clown-ass-nigga-Sean-and-don’t-worry-about-what-the-fuck-I-do.”

  I laughed in disbelief. “Oh, really? He’s the clown, and you’re the one who has my sister’s number on speed-dial?”

  Apollo sucked his teeth. “Man, fuck all that shit. Every muthafuckin’ body has Brandie’s number saved in their got-damn phone, but that don’t mean a muthafucka answers that bitch. She’s probably saved under Last Resort #1 or some shit. Antwan, shawty said yes; that’s the end of that. On to the next. You know the routine, playboy. We’ve got business to attend to. I’ve got a track I want shawty to sing the hook for me with cuz tonight at my spot. We need to stop by my shawty’s crib though to pick up my kids.”

  Antwan shook his head, looking at his brother. “You know I hate going over in that neck of the woods. Why the fuck do you stay out there in Meade Village, bruh, when you can be living it up with me? I’ve got plenty of cribs to choose from. Where you wanna stay? Baltimore? Essex? Towson? Georgetown? Alexandria? Hollywood? D.C.? Bethesda? Take your pick. You’re stackin’ all that bread, and you’re still living like you’re waiting on that welfare check to hit your mailbox.”

  “Nigga, I ain’t forgetting where I came from. Ever.” Apollo let his brother know.

  “Chill. I’m not asking you to forget, bruh, I’m just asking you to move on. Don’t you get tired of watching your back all the time? Shit, I do, nigga. Most of the trouble that I’m in has been from keeping you out of trouble! You know I’m gonna always look out for you, that’s not even a question, but if you cared anything about a nigga, you’d leave this hood shit alone. You’re a leader whose crew is reckless, dangerous, and has gotten far beyond your control! They stay robbin’ niggas, they stay into it with Murk, and they stay killin’ somebody. When you started this crew, y’all were just slangin’, just hustling’, just protecting your ‘hood. Now? Shit, your crew is known for shootouts with entire neighborhoods, known for robbin’ jewelry stores, known for raping women, and other shit. And your name is tied to that shit, nigga - whether you’re involved or not!”

  Apollo waved his brother off. “Man, my shit is on lock.”

  “Nah, your shit is all over the got-damn place. You got this phat-ass contract, where you don’t even have to run the streets another day in your life, and here you go, chasing after this girl when she’s not even worth being chased after. You’ve got two kids with this bitch, and every time you go over shawty’s crib, there’s always some shit with her. Shawty in the military, who stays on Fort Meade, is feeling the
fuck out of you, and you’re still sprung over McKaylah’s stupid ass. I’m telling you, you ain’t getting me in no shit today, Apollo!” Antwan told his brother.

  And the shit started as soon as we stepped foot in McKaylah’s apartment. I’d never seen a house so filthy. McKaylah was a shapely white girl with auburn hair and olive-toned skin. And she had a booty on her like she’d been eating cornbread all her life. There McKaylah was, looking like she was fresh off the cover of Elle magazine, and her house was looking like something off of Hoarders. I mean, there were pizza boxes, diapers, clothes, plates, forks, soda cans, toys, tissue, mail, some of everything on this girl’s carpet. I was almost scared to step through her living room, afraid something was going to jump up and attack me.

  Antwan shook his head at his brother and this girl as they argued, standing on top of a heap of trash.

  “Nigga, I ain’t seen you in weeks, and you think I’m just gonna let you roll up in my spot and take my kids?” McKaylah pushed Apollo in his chest. “My girl, Ashanti, told me she saw your trifling’ ass at the club last night, bitches all in your face and shit, and you have the nerve to come up in here and talk shit about my place that I pay the bills for?”

  “Man, ain’t nobody tryin’ to hear all that shit, McKaylah. I paid your muthafuckin’ rent up for six muthafuckin’ months. I bought some new furniture for this filthy muthafuckin’ house a few months ago. I even paid some muthafuckas to clean this shit, and you got the house back lookin’ like a muthafuckin’ crack house, yo. The fuck you been doin’ in here around my kids? Where my girls? Tia! Nika! Daddy’s here!” Apollo called out.