Out at Home

by JL Paul

  After she emailed her mall story to Luther, she settled in and started working on her new project. She’d been typing furiously for over an hour when her land line rang. She answered the phone, listening carefully, asking only a few questions, before hanging up without a goodbye. She saved her work on her laptop, closed it, and picked up her cell to call her brother.

  ***

  Brushing at imaginary lint on her black skirt, she absently listened to the minister’s words. Teddy, sitting stoically next to her, took her hand and squeezed it gently. She looked up into his hazel eyes, so like her own, and smiled. He’d seemingly grown taller in the months since she’d seen him last and his messy dark hair longer.

  Josh and his wife, Lacy, sat on her other side. Josh casually draped his arm behind Taylor on the pew and every now and then he would give her shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

  The minister’s words didn’t seem to penetrate her ears as she kept her mind blank and her eyes firmly on the lighted cross just over his shoulder. Exhaustion from the last three days crept up on her, but she held it at bay. Only a few more hours and she could succumb totally to it and collapse on her bed.

  Teddy had taken the news harder than she’d imagined. She’d done her best to keep him informed, but the death of their father shook him to the core. He’d driven home the morning after she’d called and when he’d reached her house, he held her tightly as he sobbed on her shoulder. She’d comforted him the best she could before feeding him and insisting he use her bedroom to take a nap. There had still been decisions to make and as much as she wanted to shield him from them, she knew he’d want to have some kind of say in the matter.

  So she had allowed him to accompany her to the funeral home to make arrangements for their father’s cremation and to the church to plan a memorial service. They both decided things should be done in Somersville, because even though they weren’t originally from the little town, it had been their home for the past seven years.

  “Taylor, are you okay?” Teddy asked. She looked up to find the minister standing before her, offering his hand. Smiling, she stood, accepting his condolences. Teddy draped his arm around her shoulders and turned her to face the many mourners who’d come to express their sympathies. Taylor forced a smile upon her face as she greeted each person, surprised at the number of people who’d come. She listened carefully as nearly everyone had some story or anecdote to share with her.

  She was genuinely touched when Tabby Hays and Zoey Martin appeared in front of her.

  Tabby’s eyes watered as hugged Taylor. “I’m so sorry about your dad.”

  She smiled and thanked her as Zoey embraced her next. “Um, how did you two find out?”

  “I ran into Tia yesterday downtown. She told me what happened,” Zoey explained. “I called Tabby last night.”

  Tabby nodded in agreement, taking hold of Taylor’s hands. “I was able to catch an early flight this morning, but the guys had an important team meeting that their manager wouldn’t let them miss. Brady was extremely mad but there wasn’t much he could do about it. Anyway, their plane should have landed already and they want to come by to see you.”

  Taylor nodded numbly. “The church is having a luncheon in the basement. We’re not going to the cemetery. Dad wanted to be cremated.”

  Zoey and Tabby quickly glanced at each other, garnering Taylor’s curiosity. Maybe they’d expected her to fall to pieces or something as dramatic. They didn’t understand that Taylor couldn’t afford to do that. There were still so many things to do. Besides, Teddy was grief-stricken and needed her to be strong.

  At that moment, Teddy walked up to take her hand, smiling at the other two women. Taylor quickly introduced her brother before leading them all downstairs.

  Taylor found a table and quickly claimed a chair, Teddy dropping in a seat next to her.

  “You need to eat something, T,” he informed her.

  “I know. I will. I just want to sit for a second.” She pinched the bridge of her nose, feeling a headache sneaking up on her.

  He watched her with concern brimming in his eyes. “You’ve been holding up really well. Too well. I’m worried.”

  Sighing, she smiled. “Teddy, stop. I’m fine. Just tired.”

  “Well you took care of me for a long time and I think it’s time someone takes care of you.”

  She patted his cheek before placing a soft kiss on it. She allowed her eyes to rake in his tall, lean frame. He had stubble erupting on his chin and above his lip. He was no longer the emotional teenager she had taken charge of years ago. She smiled fondly at him, proud of the man he was becoming.

  “Taylor?”

  She tore her eyes away from Teddy's face to meet Alex Miyerson’s. She stood and accepted his, Mark’s, and Kyle’s embrace.

  “Thanks for coming.”

  “Sorry we couldn’t be here sooner,” Alex said, giving her hand a tiny squeeze.

  “I understand,” she said, noticing Brady hanging back, glancing around as if unsure that he should be there. Catching her gaze, he moved forward.

  He took her hand and pulled her to his chest. “I’m so sorry, love,” he whispered in her ear. “I didn’t realize he was ill.”

  She shoved off his chest and offered a weak smile. “Um, thanks for, um, coming. I know today is your off day.” She looked over her shoulder at Teddy, motioning for him.

  Teddy shook Brady’s hand. “Hey, Brady. Good to see you again.”

  Brady smiled and offered condolences to him as well. Brady’s eyes darted around the room, nodding to people he recognized from his childhood as well as former neighbors. His eyes widened when they landed on a familiar figure standing near the buffet line, conversing with Tia.

  “Taylor,” he said softly.

  “Yes?” she asked.

  He pointed at the buffet. “Is that Josh Parker?”

  She lifted a brow. “It is. Want me to call him over?”

  He barked out a laugh. “Not really. He’d probably punch me again.”

  Kyle leaned close to Brady.

  “You couldn’t take him? You let him punch you?” he asked in disbelief after sizing up Josh’s lean, much smaller, frame.

  Brady looked at Taylor, his cheeks a little pink. “Maybe, but I had it coming.”

  ***

  “What are you doing here?” Taylor asked that night as she opened her door.

  “Why didn’t you tell me about your dad?” Brady demanded as he pushed his way past her.

  “By all means, come in,” she replied, a bite in her tone.

  “I could’ve helped, Taylor.”

  “How?” she asked as she plopped down on the sofa. “He wanted to die and he did.”

  He ran his hands through his hair, a wild helplessness in his eyes. “When did he get sick?”

  A bitter laugh crept up her throat and through her lips. “He’d been losing his grip on reality ever since my mom was killed in a car wreck the winter of my junior year. That’s why we moved here. He thought we all could use a fresh start.”

  He stared at her incredulously. “You never told me that.”

  “Well you never asked,” she snapped. “You were too busy trying to win your bet.”

  “Taylor, I wish you’d let me explain,” he started.

  She stood quickly. “No! I don’t want to hear it!”

  “You don’t know how much you frustrate me!” He paced the room, his hands still molesting his hair.

  She rolled her eyes. “I do know the feeling well. Trust me.”

  Stopping near the TV, he eyed her for a long moment before releasing a sigh. “How long was he in the hospital?”

  “The nut house you mean? Well, let’s see. He nearly overdosed on his anti-depressants, along with the other meds he was taking, the day after Prom. Nice timing, huh?” she asked, her eyes narrowed. He opened his mouth to respond but she continued. “A week later, they sent him to the state hospital where he’s been ever since, wasting away, waiting to die.”

 
; “Why didn’t you call me?” he asked, eyes full of remorse. “I was worried about you.”

  Shaking her head, she laughed. “Worried that you and your friends couldn’t have a laugh at my stupidity? Worried I wasn’t there to confirm that you had indeed won that bet?”

  “Damn it Taylor! I told you I didn’t win. You drive me so damn crazy with your stubbornness.” He rested an arm on top of the TV, his eyes dark.

  Anger burning in her gut, she strode across the room to stand firmly in front of him, poking his chest with her finger. “Me? You are so insufferable I can’t stand it!”

  A smirk curled his lips as he took a step closer. Lifting a hand, he gently rubbed her cheek. “There’s always been fire between us, love. Do you feel it?”

  Jerking her head, she smacked his hand away. “I buried my father today and you’re trying to make out with me?”

  With a husky laugh, he drew her closer to his body. “This ain’t high school anymore, sweetheart. I’m not trying to make out with you.”

  “Oh, so maybe you think I’ll just fall into bed with you?” she asked in disbelief.

  “I was kind of hoping you would.” His smirk widened as he closed the remaining distance between their bodies.

  She narrowed her eyes and clenched her fists.

  “You callous son of a bitch,” she exclaimed, wriggling away to take a swing at him. He saw it coming and grabbed her wrist. “I hate you! I hate you more than anything!”

  He hauled her to his chest, releasing her wrist to wrap his arms around her as all her emotions finally crashed together. He squeezed her gently and stroked her hair as she clutched his shirt, soaking him with her tears.

  “I can’t do this anymore,” she sobbed into his chest. “I can’t take it! I just want my daddy back!”

  “I know, love. I know,” he murmured, stroking her hair. “Let it all out.”

  Her knees buckled as the weight of her father’s death descended upon her shoulders. He held her firmly, supporting her body as she sobbed and sniffed and clutched his shirt tighter in her fists. When her tears slowed, he lifted her chin to smile down at her. “That’s exactly what you needed. Feel better?”

  Sniffing, she nodded. “You goaded me purposely? So I’d cry?”

  He kissed her forehead. “I’m not always a callous son of a bitch.”

  She rested her cheek on his chest, allowing herself a moment to enjoy the security and comfort of his arms. “I’m sorry, Brady. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  He gave her a squeeze. “You’re mostly right.” He edged back to look at her. “Is Teddy staying here?”

  She nodded. “He’s out with some friends right now. Why?”

  He ran his thumb under each of her eyes to rid her face of the moisture collecting there. “I don’t think you should be alone tonight.”

  Her stomach quivered slightly so she extracted her body from his arms and headed for the kitchen. “Umm, do you want something to drink, or something?”

  “Sure, whatever you have.”

  Sitting quietly on the couch, they watched a late game until Teddy came home. Taylor was slightly amused at the surprise and curiosity in Teddy’s eyes and waited for the questions to come. But Teddy didn’t say a word - just greeted them both before escaping to the bathroom to change.

  When Brady announced that he needed to go, Taylor walked him to the door.

  “Call me if you need anything,” Brady said. “I mean it.”

  She nodded. “Thanks Brady. For, um, everything.”

  Leaning in, he placed a soft kiss on her cheek. “We still need to talk, love. But I’ll give you the space you need right now.”

  She nodded again and watched him walk to his car before shutting the door.

  Chapter Eight

  It took her almost a week after Teddy had returned to school before she finally drew up the nerve to call Brady. He had given her the space he’d promised and now she was ready to put the past behind her.

  She invited him over after a Sunday afternoon game, feeling safer on her own territory and knowing he had to leave early Monday morning for another road trip.

  He arrived with a pizza from Mario’s, the place they used to go to regularly while dating. The irony certainly was not lost on her; or him, judging by the smirk on his face.

  She ushered him to the sofa, running to the kitchen to fetch paper plates and ice tea. They made small talk while they ate and when they could eat no more, Brady sat back, his lips pursed and his eyes on her.

  “Thanks for inviting me over,” he began. “I hope you’re ready to let me explain.”

  Fiddling with her napkin, she nodded. He leaned forward and covered her hands with his.

  “Relax, love. Just hear me out, okay?” His voice was confident, yet still pleading.

  She closed her eyes and nodded again. “I just want to hear the truth, Brady. No excuses.”

  “I promise,” he told her, leaning back once more and running a hand through his thick, dark hair. He took a deep breath. “We were bored, Jason and I. We had nothing going on. Neither one of us was on the basketball team so we had nothing to do that winter. It was Jason’s idea - but I can’t place the entire blame on him. I agreed to it, after all.”

  He stood and walked to the living room window, drawing another deep breath. “Only a few people knew, I swear. Just me and Jason and Jordan. Jordan came up with the terms. Each of us had to find a virgin, get her to date us for the rest of the year, and have sex with her on Prom night. We couldn’t do it before or else we’d lose. That was supposed to be part of the challenge. There were other stipulations, stupid ones.”

  He spoke so methodical as if he was explaining a complicated medical procedure.

  “How did you know we were virgins?” Taylor whispered, not quite able to look at him. She could feel the heat and shame filling her cheeks.

  He gave a bitter laugh. “Jordan’s cousin threw that slumber party a week after we started dating, remember? He convinced her to invite you and Amanda and told her to play Truth or Dare or some stupid game like that to find out if you two were virgins. He told her that Jason and I wanted to know but we didn’t want to ask you ourselves.”

  Taylor nodded, remembering the party well. She’d welcomed the chance to get out of the house for a night, even if it was with girls she didn’t normally associate.

  “What would have happened if you would have found out that neither of us were virgins?”

  Ducking his head, he toyed with the hem of his shirt. “We would have had to dump you and start over.” He moved away from the window and sat next to her on the sofa. “But I really started to like you, Taylor. Please believe me.”

  His calloused hand covered her smooth one as his eyes begged her to listen. “You were nothing like the other girls I had dated. When we were together, I forgot all about the bet. When I’d go home, I’d sit in my room and think of ways to get out of it, or how to tell you. But I chickened out. I was afraid I’d lose you or Jason would spill everything if I quit. So, I just let it continue.”

  “I wish you would have told me,” she whispered, dropping her gaze to the floor. Her heart dangled on a thread, wondering if it was going to fall or be rescued.

  “What would you have done, huh?” he asked. “You would have ditched me immediately and run off to Amanda.”

  “Maybe,” she shrugged. “But I really liked you. I thought it was genuine.”

  He squeezed her hand. “It was genuine, Taylor. Please believe me.”

  She plucked her hand out of his. “I don’t know what to believe.”

  Rubbing his face, he released a long breath. “Anyway, Prom night came and, well, you know what happened. The next day, Jason and I met at Jordan’s house to tell, you know, what happened. Jason talked about how Amanda was putty in his hands and how easy it was to get her to, uh, sleep with him. It made me sick. I couldn’t believe how callous he sounded. I knew they both expected me to talk the same way about you but I couldn’t. I told them no
thing happened, that we just made out but you wouldn’t go all the way.”

  She gazed into his eyes, studying them intently, searching for any hidden lies.

  Gently taking her hand, he swallowed. “I fell for you, Taylor. I swear. I wanted to keep seeing you. I left Jordan’s house and when I got home, my brother Brad, told me that he knew all about the bet. He told me that he’d overheard Jason talking to me about it before Prom. He was so mad because he truly liked you, that he went to Josh Parker’s house to tell Josh. He said that he wanted Josh to find you and warn you but Josh reassured him that you’d never…have sex with me.

  “I hurried to your house, scared to death. Well, you weren’t home so I went down to Josh’s to find out where you were and to sort of sound him out. He was so angry and I couldn’t blame him. He pushed me around and punched me in the jaw. I didn’t fight back. I deserved it and I knew it. I begged him to tell me where you were. I just wanted to see you; to explain. He wouldn’t tell me anything so I kept trying to call you all night and when you didn’t show up for graduation, I got twice as worried.”

  “I was at the hospital,” she murmured, tears leaking from her eyes.

  “I didn’t know that at the time,” he said, exhaling loudly. “Three days after graduation, we left for my grandmother’s house in Michigan for the summer so I didn’t even get to see you. I tried to call every chance I got, but you never answered so I just gave up. My grandmother grew very ill and that’s when my parents put our house up for sale so we could move in with my grandmother. I left for college and never came back. When my agent told me that the newspaper from my hometown wanted to interview me, I refused. But when he called again and said they wanted to send you, I thought I would finally be able to talk to you and explain.”