Live In Position

by Sadie Grubor

  Victoria came out with us one afternoon and had a great time, but was cold toward Dominic. When I asked her about it, she said she just didn't like him. I couldn't fault her for the way she felt, so I didn't have her come back out with us again. It kind of hurt, because I wanted her to be there with me too. I missed the time we’d lost. Grace was still trying to build their relationship and it felt like Victoria was pulling away from me, in favor of her mother. I knew I had to let her go and be with her mother.

  That was my thought until one Saturday afternoon in March. As I was preparing to go out with Miranda on my off weekend, I was passing Victoria's bedroom when I overheard her and Grace.

  "Let's have makeovers!" Victoria sounded excited.

  "Okay, do you want me to call the salon?"

  I heard Victoria giggle lightly.

  "No. I want to give you one."

  "O-h" Grace puffed out. "Um…I'm not sure."

  "It will be fun." I heard rustling. "Put this on."

  "The tutu?" Grace sounded insulted.

  "Yeah." Victoria’s excitement deflated.

  "Oh, baby, no. Mommy doesn't wear this stuff." There was a long silence.

  "Okay." Victoria mumbled.

  "What are you doing with that?" Grace almost shrieked.

  "I'm going to do your make up."

  "No, baby, mommy has special make-up that she uses."

  I rolled my eyes and started toward the steps.

  "Then let's get yours—"

  "No, no. It's not to play with Victoria." Grace was sounded scolding. I was irritated and trying to force myself down the steps.

  "Sophia does it." Victoria huffed in annoyance.

  I bit the side of my mouth, so I didn't laugh.

  "She only does it because she’s paid to do those things. We've talked about this before, Victoria."

  I bit down, but not from laughter, from pure anger. Wincing at the pain, the coppery taste of my blood almost made me gag. Quickly I went downstairs to meet with Miranda before I ended up going to jail for knocking the hell harpy out.

  "Can you believe that? I mean, 'We've talked about it before'. What does that even mean? Does she tell Victoria I’m only being nice to her and playing with her because of money?"

  "Technically you are." Benji chimed in. Both Miranda and I glared at him. "Pretend I didn't speak." He put his hands up in surrender.

  "Will do," Miranda spat. She turned back to me. "Sophia, I don't know what to say. I can't believe she told her that. It's almost…heartless to make Victoria feel that way."

  "She's only putting you down to make herself look better." Lucas chimed in and I shot a look at him. "Should I not speak either?" He turned his attention back to Benji.

  "That kind of makes sense." Miranda pointed at Lucas.

  "How come I get a glare and he gets praise?" Benji pouted.

  I broke into much needed laughter.

  "Thank you Benji." I smiled and laughed heartily. "I needed that."

  The rest of the evening was spent snacking on appetizers and drinking. When I got back to the Bishop house I felt rejuvenated enough from my outing to go in. However, that all left me when I passed Victoria's room.

  The soft sound of sobs poured from her room. I froze mid stride and leaned my ear to her door. Pushing the door open, the sight of her balled up in her bed crying welcomed me.

  "Victoria?" I whispered.

  She sniffed quickly and stayed quiet. I entered the room and stood next to her bed looking down at her.

  "You’re a terrible actress. Maybe I should see if there are some acting lessons you can take along with your others." I grinned down at her playfully.

  She turned her head to me with a small smile. I sat down and rubbed her leg.

  "What's going on?"

  She sat up Indian style next to me with her eyes staring into her lap. She sniffed again and wiped her cheeks with her hands.

  "Don't you like me anymore?"

  "What?" My eyes widened and my voice cracked.

  She flinched back a little.

  "You…um…we don't play together anymore." Her tone was low and almost inaudible. "You don't play with me like before."

  "Oh, sweetheart," wrapping my arms around her, I pulled her to my lap. "I've been giving you and your mommy time to get to know one another." I kissed the top of her head. "Of course I still like you." I squeezed her tight.

  Victoria's arms wrapped around my shoulders and held me back.

  "Can we watch a movie?"

  Pulling back, I looked into her face.

  "It's sort of late. Do you have early plans tomorrow with your mom?"

  She shook her head with a big smile.

  "Okay, what movie, wait, let me guess…The Little Mermaid?" I winked.

  She giggled.

  "Let me go change my clothes. You put the movie in."

  I quickly went to my room and slipped into a pair of yoga pants and a tank top. I grabbed a sweatshirt and headed to her room. Closing my door behind me, I looked up and saw Dr. Bishop exiting his room in his robe. I forced a small smile and made quick strides toward Victoria's room.

  "Is she still awake?" His voice carried down the empty hall and sent a chill through my body.

  I cleared my throat quietly and turned to face him.

  "Yes, she was awake when I got home this evening. I checked on her and she couldn't sleep, so I suggested we watch a movie." I stood waiting for some type of icy response.

  Standing there under the intensity of his gaze the damn fidgeting started. I glanced from the floor to his face and saw his eyes focused on one spot. Following his gaze, I realized my tank top didn't fully cover my midsection. My eyes widened at what he must be thinking, since he’s already commented about me being half dressed. I swallowed hard and rushed to slip my baggy sweatshirt over my head.

  I got it on and looked back at him. His eye brows were knitted together and his hands were clenched. It almost looked as if he was a foot closer to me, but I tossed the thought out as quickly as it occurred. His chest rose and fell with a heavy breath before he turned away from me and headed toward the stairs.

  Once back in Victoria's room I saw she’d placed the pillows at the foot of the bed, closest to the TV and was on her elbows waiting. I shut the door, ran, and leapt onto her bed, causing her to bounce up and down.

  She giggled. "Who are you? Super nanny?"

  I laughed and ruffled her hair.

  "Of course I am. Who else were you expecting?" I winked.

  Her smile widened. "I've missed you."

  I pressed my forehead to hers. "I'll always be here for you."

  "Always?" She almost whispered.

  "Always."

  "Even when you marry Dominic?"

  "What? Who said we were getting married?" I choked.

  "Grace."

  "I'm not marrying Dominic." I reassured her.

  "Nanny swear?" She held out her curved pinky finger.

  I furrowed my brow at her finger in confusion, but copied her movement. She knotted our pinkies together. I smiled and answered.

  "Super nanny swear."

  She giggled again and snuggled against me. We sang along with the movie.

  "Thank you." Victoria yawned just as King Titan created a rainbow over Eric and Ariel's wedding ship.

  "I should be thanking you. This was so much fun." I grabbed the remote and turned off the DVD and TV.

  "Stay with me." It wasn't a question.

  I curled up next to her and we drifted off to sleep.

  April arrived and spring was definitely in the air. Victoria's ballet class was preparing for a recital at the end of May. The Bishops were preparing for their annual family vacation in Whidbey Island. Every June, they traveled to the beach house. Miranda had pre-warned me I would most likely be required on trip and I started to worry about being trapped in one house with Allison, Ilene, and Grace.

  Grace had backed off of Victoria quite a bit. There weren't as many 'mommy daughter' outings.
Grace found a niche of step-ford wives who couldn't wait to get the possible Mrs. Doctor Bishop into their social groups. Her time was now being absorbed by shopping trips, socializing, and assisting the 'leaders' of the step-ford club with upcoming social events. It irritated me that she brushed Victoria off so quickly, but I was also relieved to have her back under my wing to keep an eye on her well-being.

  I was surprised one morning, toward the end of April, when Grace spontaneously requested Victoria dressed to go out for the afternoon. I was happy she was going to participate in some sort of activity together. After she was dressed, I pulled her hair up with some clips. Wrapping her in her jacket, Grace sped off in her new convertible with Victoria.

  It was six hours of working on my book when I heard a commotion of people arriving. Suspecting it was Grace and Victoria I saved my progress and closed my laptop. Halfway down the stairs I could hear Victoria's excited voice.

  "Can we make them now?"

  "Make what?" Grace sounded confused.

  "The cookies."

  "What are you talking about?" Grace sounded annoyed.

  "You told Mrs. Stanton you would take care of cookies and—"

  Grace cut her off with laughter.

  "Oh my goodness, you thought I was going to make them?"

  I didn't hear anything from Victoria.

  "I’m going to buy those things, have them catered." I could hear the shrugging tone to her voice.

  "Oh." Victoria sounded disappointed. "Can we still make some?" There was a hint of hope.

  "I don't cook –"

  "Of course we can." I smiled. "But first you need to change your clothes and wash your hands." Then I took a closer look at her face. "What’s on your face?" I narrowed my eyes in examination.

  "Oh, it's nothing." Grace chimed. "They were having auditions for a mother daughter pageant and I took Victoria." She smiled proudly.

  I looked back to Victoria whose face was furrowed. Grace's heels clicked as she left the kitchen.

  "So, how was the pageant?"

  She shrugged. "I don't really like it."

  "Oh, did you tell your mom that?" I started to get the flour and sugar.

  "No, I didn't tell Grace."

  I turned around to examine her expression.

  "Did you just call her Grace?"

  She nodded. "I don't want to call her mom." She crossed her arms over her chest.

  I didn't want to press any further. "Go get changed, okay?" I turned back around and heard her hurry from the room.

  My mind was reeling with her declaration about Grace. Dr. Bishop said he wanted to know if Victoria was troubled by Grace when she first came back. Does that still stand? Should I mention it to him? I didn't want to overstep any boundaries.

  Victoria and I were in the middle of scooping chocolate chip cookies onto a tray when Dr. Bishop walked into the kitchen. He stopped, glanced around the room, and then focused on Victoria.

  "What’s on her face?"

  I cleared my throat.

  "I, uh, think its fake tanning spray." I bit my lip.

  "Why the hell is she wearing that?" His icy green emeralds focused on me.

  "Grace did it." Victoria spoke up and shifted her body closer to mine. I snapped my eyes to her and then back to Dr. Bishop.

  "You mean your mother." Dr. Bishop's brow furrowed.

  Victoria rolled her eyes and picked the spoon back up to scoop cookie dough.

  "Miss Ashwood?"

  I knew what he was asking.

  "Um…it seems Victoria doesn't want…isn't comfortable calling Grace, mom."

  "Victoria, is this true?" His eyes darted to her and he stepped closer.

  She nodded.

  "Why is that?"

  She shrugged.

  "That's not a proper answer."

  Victoria dropped the spoon into the bowl of cookie dough and slapped her hands to the marble counter top.

  "I didn't want her." She growled out. "I didn't ask her to come back."

  Dr. Bishop's eyes widened and then shifted to my face. I only hoped he could I was as shocked as he.

  "Well," he cleared his throat, "She’s your mother and she is back."

  "And what if I don't want her to be?" Victoria shot back. I could see the tears swelling in her eyes. "She doesn't care about me." Instinctively I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and she leaned into me.

  "Do not talk about your mother that way!" He scolded and stepped even closer. "She cares about you very much. She came back for you."

  "G-r-a-c-e did not come back for me." Victoria growled back.

  "What's going on?" Grace stepped into the kitchen. She’d obviously the yelling.

  "Nothing." Dr. Bishop straightened up and glared from Victoria to me.

  "It doesn't sound like nothing. I demand to know –"

  "We were trying to figure out why you’re back, Grace." Victoria sounded so much like Allison it made me nervous.

  "I’m your mother. You will not talk to me in that manner." She huffed.

  Victoria rolled her eyes. "Right." She picked the spoon back up and turned her attention to me. "Can I put more on or is the tray full?"

  I looked down at her still in shock.

  "Collin, I believe we need to discuss some sort of punishment. Don't you?"

  Dr. Bishop didn't speak, he just stared at Victoria and then at me when I answered her.

  "This one's full, why don't you grab another tray out of the drawer." I pointed behind us and turned my attention and eyes down to the counter.

  "Collin!" Grace yelled.

  He snapped his attention away from me to her. She huffed.

  "Perhaps we should think about letting Sophia go."

  I looked up at her, confusion and astonishment racing through my incoherent thoughts. What had I done?

  "What are you talking about?" Dr. Bishop furrowed his brow.

  "Well, I’m home mostly all day now, so she’s unnecessary." She shrugged with a look of disgust.

  "Daddy?" Tears threatened to spill over Victoria’s round, flushed cheeks.

  "Victoria, this isn't your concern." Grace spat.

  I pulled Victoria into my arms to comfort her.

  "Grace, I think you’re overreacting." Dr. Bishop said coolly.

  "Why can't you get rid of her Collin? Is there something going on?" She started yelling.

  Dr. Bishop's face filled with fury. He pointed his long pale finger and she flinched away.

  "I've been putting up with a lot since you left and even more since you’ve returned. Don't make accusation of my behavior when yours is still in question."

  I squeezed Victoria tighter and lifted her into my arms. Turning off the oven I moved quickly to get her out of the kitchen and away from their argument.

  Victoria let me place her on her bed and then leave to clean up the cookies before they went bad. Reaching the doorway to the kitchen I realized they were still in the there.

  "Grace, this –"

  "Don't you dare, Collin! Don't!" Grace was slowly unraveling. "I came back for you, because I love you. I will not let some little tramp –"

  I spun around trying to get away, but the timer on the oven started beeping, effectively cutting off Grace. Cursing under my breath, I moved to hit the off switch.

  "Is this about her?" I snapped my head around and was thankful she wasn't talking about me. I breathed in relief and headed for the closest exit.

  "Of course it is! She’s our daughter and you don't seem to care much about that fact. Ms. Ashwood is closer to her than you!" He spat, grabbed my arm, and pointed at me.

  "Oh and you’re so close to her, Collin?" She snorted. "How dare you condemn me for something you’re the master? Do you know how cold you are toward her? To me?"

  "You left," He shouted, not letting go of me. I flinched.

  "I came back!"

  "This isn't working Grace." He said in defeat.

  His hand was still on my arm and holding tightly. The heat and pulsatin
g flowing at our point of contact seemed to intensify with each passing moment. Right now each moment felt like an hour.

  "I said I would try, but you haven't been very forthcoming on why you left and where you’ve been. I don't see the point in –"

  "Don't you dare end this, Collin Bishop! You’ll regret it if you do!" She took multiple steps toward him, her arms crossed over her chest.

  "There isn't anything more you could do to me. You've been pretty thorough." He snarled through clenched teeth. His grip tightened on my arm.

  I finally got bold enough to try pulling his fingers from around my arm. I was prying at his fingers when Grace dropped the bomb.

  "She may not even be your daughter," She snorted.

  I froze and Dr. Bishop's hand gripped even harder.

  "What?" He hissed. I began prying at his fingers once I unfroze, desperate to get the hell out of the kitchen.

  "You heard me. There was someone else in college." She shrugged. "It was one night, but I shortly found out I was pregnant. She could be yours, but honestly, she doesn't look much like you, does she?" She smirked and turned.

  "Don't walk away from me," He shouted.

  She laughed, she freaking laughed. The woman was a crazy harpy from hell. I pried at his fingers more, finally getting him to release my arm. I took one step back.

  "Get out of my house! Now!"

  "Fine! I'll collect my things and my daughter!" She turned around to walk out of the kitchen.

  Dr. Bishop didn't say anything, nothing at all. I wanted to smack him in the head and tell him to stop her. But he didn't move, he didn't speak, and his face was sullen. He was lost. I groaned and took a deep breath, trying to build up my courage. I took two steps toward Grace.

  "Don't you go near her," I snarled.

  Grace spun on her heels with fury in her eyes.

  "Say something. Do something. Don't let her take your daughter." I shouted at a still frozen Dr. Bishop.

  "She's not mine." He growled and glared.

  "Bullshit! That little girl," I pointed up, "only knows you as her father. You’re the only parent she’s ever had. You can't take that away from her! You, Collin, are her father! Regardless of genetics or what a blood test says."