Live In Position

by Sadie Grubor

  "I, I'm so sorry, I—" Larissa quickly turned and darted back into the kitchen.

  "Oh god," I groaned again and dropped my head back onto a step.

  Collin's lips lightly touched my chin while his fingers slid behind my head. He pulled my face up to look at him.

  "I'll go speak with Larissa."

  "Yeah," I snorted, "that might be a good idea." I covered my face with my hands. He gripped my wrists and yanked my hands away from my face.

  "There is nothing to be embarrassed about Sophia."

  "Oh, no, of course not, your sister in law catching you getting it on with the nanny isn't anything at all." I slapped my forehead and rolled my eyes. "Silly me," I laughed out humorlessly.

  "Don't be dramatic." His words were calm and conservative as always. Dr. Bishop helped me up from the stairs before he walked toward the kitchen. Once he was out of sight, I ran up to my room.

  It was forty-five minutes later when I heard a knock on my door. I furrowed my brow, looking over my laptop at the door. He never knocks.

  "Come in."

  The door slowly opened and Larissa peeked into the room. I was definitely going to puke.

  "Um, hello." She smiled warmly at me. "Do you mind if I come in?"

  I shook my head, but couldn't speak for fear of the vomiting threat.

  "I, well, I just wanted to apologize for barging into the house. Collin usually isn't home and I never thought I would—" She paused, her cheeks flushed.

  "You have nothing to apologize for. I should be apologizing." I buried my face in my hands. "I can only imagine what you think of me." My voice was a muffled groan.

  "Oh, Sophia, no." I looked up at her confused. She continued. "I don't think badly of you, not at all. I mean, Collin hasn't been exactly successful at hiding his attraction to you." Larissa smirked a little.

  "Why am I the only one that thought he despised me?" I sat back in my chair with my arms over my chest.

  A loud laugh burst from her light pink lips. She moved to sit on the couch.

  "Sorry." She was still silently laughing and shaking her head. "It's just that you haven't known him very long. Collin was never so 'active' in dealing with his nanny before you."

  I bit my lip and dropped my eyes to the floor.

  "I'd been wondering about his change of nature." That brought my eyes back to her. "I think you're good for him."

  I smiled, though the discomfort of this situation still sat like a brick in my gut.

  "Well, I just wanted to speak with you and apologize. Collin told me to leave you alone, but I just couldn't leave without saying something." She stood from the couch and walked toward the door.

  "Mrs. Bishop?"

  Larissa turned with a large smile. "Please, Sophia, call me Larissa."

  "Larissa," I smiled back, becoming more comfortable. "Thank you."

  She nodded, closing my door behind her. I sighed and dropped my head to my keyboard. The antichrist had successful stolen my soul.

  Victoria came home later than usual, and Dr. Bishop was extremely quiet. I expected him to be waiting in my room after I got Victoria into bed, but he wasn't there. Sitting at my laptop for about two hours I couldn't help but act on the urge to find him.

  Quietly, I padded by Victoria's room toward his office. He wasn't there. As I approached his room I could hear his voice behind the door. It sounded like he was on his phone and angry. Not wanting to intrude, I went back to my room. I was asleep when the shift of the bed woke me. With a yawn I rolled over to my back.

  "Sorry," he whispered and slid in next to me.

  "Mhm," was the only coherent semi-word I could get out.

  "Why didn't you come to my room?" His whisper was closer to my ear and his breath made me tingle.

  "You were on your phone." I yawned out and attempted to roll back to my side.

  "You came to my room and didn't come in?" The cold tone was familiar as he grabbed my shoulder, keeping me on my back.

  "I didn't want to intrude." I shrugged, not that he could see it in the dark. "No big deal."

  "Yes it is," he argued.

  "I'm too tired, you win." I tried to roll over again, but he stopped me.

  "My bed is much better than this bed."

  I almost blurted out, 'Are you freaking serious right now', but he spoke again before I could.

  "I prefer us sleeping in there. You should just come there to sleep every night." He settled in next to me.

  "Uh huh," I mumbled out.

  Was he crazy? I was not just going to make myself at home in his bedroom.

  Sunday, I woke to the sound of Victoria saying my name in a sing song tone. I groaned and then freaked out. My eyes flew open, looking behind me. Collin lay there sound asleep. When the knob turned I realized the door wasn't locked.

  Faster than I thought I could ever be able to move, I slid out from the bed. Collin groaned in protest. I got to the door just as she had inched it open. Grabbing the door I only allowed her to see me standing there and quickly slid out of the room, closing the door behind me.

  "What's up?" I tried to act as normal as possible.

  "Are you okay?" She crinkled up her face and looked me over.

  "Yeah, I'm fine. You ready for breakfast?"

  She was still eyeing me closely. Her mouth opened but all I heard was the muffled sound of Collin calling out for me. Oh god. I watched Victoria's eyes widen in amusement and then in realization.

  "Is that—"

  Collin opened the door.

  "What in the world is going—" His sentence cut off when he saw Victoria. Unlike me, he didn't miss another beat. "Good morning Victoria"

  "Daddy, why are you in Sophia's room?" You could see the wheels in her head turning.

  "I was discussing with Sophia my departure this afternoon. I have a business trip, and have made the arrangements for you to see your mother on Sunday instead of Saturday, so that you can be in Ms. Weber's wedding."

  Damn he was good! Now I just had to wonder if he used these magic quick thinking lies on me. Not only did he come off with that without batting an eye, but he had effectively given me information I needed for the coming events.

  "Aren't you going to see me in my dress?" Victoria's attention had been drawn elsewhere. Thank you Jesus! I quietly breathed in relief.

  "I'm not sure if I will be back in time. I'm sorry." He knelt down to her.

  She looked sad for a moment. "It's okay." Now it was just evident disappointment.

  "Hey," I ruffled her hair and she looked up to me, "how about we go make some waffles?"

  "Can we use the big waffle maker?" Her eyes lit up.

  "Of course," I smiled at her.

  She grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room.

  Dr. Bishop left that afternoon, but not without pulling me into the laundry room for 'alone time' and having Victoria try on her dress for him before he departed. I was so happy to see him more active with her and actually taking part in her life.

  Victoria and I had seemed to find our school time routine again. The mornings were much better and she was even getting used to her after school commitments. While pulling away from St. John's Prep School my cell phone rang. Keeping my eyes on the road I answered it without looking at the caller id.

  "Hello?"

  "Long time no talk stranger." Dominic.

  "Hey, how are you?"

  "I'd be better if you still talked to me." I was hoping he was just teasing, but it didn't sound that way.

  "Sorry, it's been pretty hectic. With a seven year old, things get a little chaotic."

  "I'm sure. So, why didn't I hear from you in Whidbey?" I had completely forgotten he had messaged me.

  "Oh, I just didn't have any time, plus we left earlier than originally planned." I tried to explain without too many dirty details.

  "Well, then, how about this weekend? Care to join me for a night out with grown-ups?"

  Oh god, Collin would kill him and me.

  "I actually h
ave a prior engagement this weekend. A friend of mine is getting married and I'm in the wedding, so there are rehearsals and –"

  "So, this has nothing to do with Collin?"

  "Excuse me?"

  "You aren't avoiding me because of him are you?"

  I swallowed the large lump in my throat that had suddenly formed.

  "No," I squeaked out. "Why would that make a difference?"

  "Hmm, I don't know, you just seem to be avoiding me."

  "Honestly, I'm not, this is just the way it is for a live in care giver." Or live in whore.

  "Victoria is at school now, right?"

  Oh god.

  "Um –"

  "Good, then you can meet me for coffee."

  "I really have a lot I need to –"

  "You aren't getting out of this one. I'll just come to the house if I have to."

  I wanted to scream and smack my head off the steering column.

  "Fine, where?" I said as friendly as possible.

  Dominic gave me a coffee shop nearby and I arrived first. I ordered my coffee and sat at an empty table. He arrived about five minutes later. Once he took a seat we fell into familiar conversation that revolved mostly around him.

  While he rambled on, I silently wondered what had ever been so appealing about him. Even after we realized dating wasn't going to work out between us, why had I decided to continue to hang out with him? The moment my cell phone rang, I felt relieved.

  "Sorry," I grabbed my phone and answered.

  "Hello?"

  "Good morning Sophia." God was definitely a man, a jealous man, and he hated me.

  "Hello Dr. Bishop." I realized the mistake as soon as it left my mouth.

  "Why are we back to formalities?" Irritation and suspicion saturated his words.

  "Umm…" I didn't know what to say. "What can I help you with?"

  "Is someone around?" He asked coldly.

  "Yeah, sure."

  "Who?" The suspicion was back.

  "I can't do it right now, but perhaps I can –"

  Because God hates me so much, Dominic decided to interrupt.

  "Back off Collin, we are having coffee. She'll be through in twenty."

  There was no holding back the groan that escaped my lips.

  "You're with Dr. Erickson?" His voice rose and the anger lacing his words were scary.

  "Yes."

  "Are you on a date with him?"

  "Of course not, Dr. Bishop."

  "Stop with the damn formalities Sophia!" His heavy breathing through the phone had me terrified to say anything. Did I drop the charade and reveal us to Dominic or did I keep with the secret we both planned?

  "Please tell me it's not a date."

  "I already told you it wasn't." I growled.

  "I want you to leave now. I don't want you around him."

  "You don't get to dictate who I can associate with." I glanced across the table and saw Dominic smiling proudly at the results playing out before him. His face made me snap.

  "And you, don't you sit there with that look on your face. I am not someone you get to use to piss Dr. Bishop off. I agreed to meet you as friends and you just want to cause shit." I pushed away from the table, grabbing my bag.

  "Sophia, wait –"

  I spun around on him.

  "Don't," I pointed at him. "Just leave me alone."

  Once outside of the coffee shop I took a deep breath.

  "Did you leave?" Dr. Bishop's voice was low and full of worry.

  "Yes, but not because you demanded." I snapped.

  "I'm sorry I –"

  "I need to go and calm down." I hit the end call button and hurried to my car. Ignoring all calls coming in from Dr. Bishop for the rest of the day, I knew eventually he would find a way to get to me.

  Soon, Friday arrived and I was getting both Victoria and I ready for the wedding rehearsal and dinner.

  "Why can't I wear the dress? I need to practice don't I?" Victoria had been arguing with me for the past ten minutes about why she should wear her dress tonight.

  "Miranda wants it to be a surprise for tomorrow." I looked at her with my brow raised and a curling iron in my hair. She huffed, knowing she couldn't argue any longer.

  "Fine," she growled, stomping out of my room. I stifled my laugh so it didn't piss her off. Victoria was much fierier lately.

  We arrived to the rehearsal with exclamations of how adorable and beautiful Victoria was with her curly red locks. She was very content with the compliments. Miranda's wedding coordinator, Beth, had us run through the entrance twice and then the exit three times. It was at the first exit I met Demetri.

  "I'm Benji's cousin, Demetri." He leaned down and whispered as we walked down the aisle side by side. Demetri was tan skinned with dark hair and bright blue eyes. He was quite attractive.

  "Sophia, friend of Miranda," I whispered back.

  "It's a pleasure to meet you." His voice returned to normal volume since we made our way out of the church.

  "No hitting on my bridesmaids," Miranda teased him as she and Benji walked by us. I laughed out loudly and earned a glare from Beth. Covering my mouth, I dropped my head.

  "You got in trouble," Victoria sang in a hushed tone, one person down from me.

  "Shut it down there." I raised my fist teasingly.

  "Your daughter?" Demetri glanced between Victoria and me with a small smile.

  "Oh, no, I'm her nanny." His smile widened, giving a slight nod.

  At dinner, Victoria wanted to sit with Nessa, so I was left with Lucas on my left and Demetri on my right. Miranda and Benji were a few people down, but close enough for me to catch her grinning at my situation. If she only knew.

  Lucas tried to make small talk for the most part, but Demetri was the type of guy who demanded your attention. He would swoop in and take command of the conversation. It wasn't too long into the dinner that I felt like maybe I should step away from the table and just let them arm wrestle for my attention.

  My head hurt and Miranda's constant wiggling eyebrows were enough to make me toss a piece of bread at her. I excused myself to go to the ladies room. Both of them stood when I left the table. Once in the ladies, I leaned against the wall and took a couple of deep breaths.

  "So, you have some admirers." Miranda couldn't hold in her giggle.

  "Zip it, you." I laughed and lightly smacked her arm. "They are driving me crazy."

  "Well, if it were me, I'd be all on Demetri. That man is—" She stopped when she saw my gaping mouth. "What?"

  "Miranda, that's Benji's cousin. You know the guy at the table that you are marrying tomorrow?"

  She laughed. "Oh hell, I can still look, and Demetri is worth looking at."

  We burst into loud laughter.

  "I guess you're right."

  "You guess?" She looked at me curiously. "Are you seeing someone and not telling me about it?" Her eyes narrowed and I froze. "You are! Oh my god, who is it? Do I know him?"

  I groaned. "Look, it's complicated and I, well, it's too soon to really talk about it." I ducked into an empty stall quickly.

  "Oh, no you don't!" She shouted through the closed metal door. "Spill it," she beat on the door.

  "Miranda, really, I'm just not ready to make it public yet."

  I flushed and stepped out of the stall.

  "I'm not the public, Sophia. I'm your friend."

  The door suddenly opened.

  "There you are," Benji's sister exclaimed at Rand. "We are all waiting for you." She grabbed Miranda's arm and tugged.

  Rand turned her head back to me. "This conversation isn't over yet," she warned me with a smile before following Benji's sister out of the ladies room.

  I sighed in relief that we'd been interrupted.

  When I returned to the table Lucas wasn't in his seat. Demetri made sure to take the opportunity to 'have me to himself'. His words, not mine.

  "So, looks like we will be spending a great deal of time together tomorrow?" He smiled slyly at me.
<
br />   "Yeah, I guess. I mean for the wedding sure."

  "Don't forget about the reception," he reminded.

  "The reception?"

  "Yes, we'll have to dance with the bride and groom, of course."

  "Oh, yeah, I guess so." I smiled small at him. He was a genuinely nice guy. Unfortunately for him, I seem to prefer cold, conservative antichrists.

  "We could practice now?"

  I looked at him questioningly. He nodded his head toward a small cleared away area where Benji and Miranda, her parents, his parents, and a few other guests were dancing.

  "Um, I guess, but—" he didn't let me finish. Taking my hand, he pulled me to the rest of the dancing couples and wrapped his arms around my waist.

  Miranda smirked at me. I rolled my eyes. The wedding was going to be interesting.

  Chapter Twenty One

  Early Saturday morning Victoria and I arrived to the hotel, that Rand had reserved a room, with our hair wrapped up in curlers. We got a few second glances and weird looks from people, but we both just laughed at the reactions.

  Once we entered the suite, the chaos was immeasurable. Nessa, the little girl that Miranda took care of during the day was whining as her mother tugged and twisted her hair. Victoria was in a chair while another woman twisted her hair around her head. Mrs. Murphy was a teary eyed mess that couldn't stop crying long enough for her make-up to be applied. Mrs. Cramer and Karen, Benji's sister and maid of honor, were nitpicking every little detail. Miranda's Aunt Terri was trying to comfort Rand's mom. I ended up sticking close to Rand and helping with whatever she needed.

  I never thought that it would take so long to get ready for a wedding, but holy heck if it didn't take over six hours to get everyone dressed and ready for the drive to the church. Miranda looked stunning in a very crisp, classic white gown. Even I had a hard time keeping dry eyes at the sight of her. The click of the camera shutter on the photographer's large black camera was the dominant sound in the room as we exited.

  One by one, we filed into the limo that would drive us the twenty minutes that it took to get to the church. When we arrived, Mrs. Murphy and Mrs. Cramer got out first, with the assistance of the driver, to make sure that Benji was nowhere in sight. The moment they gave the go ahead, everyone climbed from the car. The photographer was still there to capture every moment.

  We all huddled in one small back room waiting for our cue. The moment that Mr. Murphy arrived and knocked at the wooden door, everyone grabbed their bouquets and did last minute hair and makeup checks. The wedding coordinator quickly lined everyone up and Mr. Cramer took his daughter's arm. It was already clear that he wouldn't have dry eyes by the time he got her to Benji.