The Fallen Queen: (Gods & Monsters Book 2) (The Gods & Monsters Trilogy)

by Janie Marie

  “Why did he do that to you?” She was finding it difficult to realize everything Death was responsible for.

  “Don’t look so upset, Jane,” said Hades. “I asked him for this life. I sought vengeance on those responsible for the death of my beloved. Death tried to discourage me, but I was persistent. I was already immortal, but he gave me a little advantage over the rest.” He gestured to David. “I am not as impressive as your Other, or even yourself, but I can do things neither of you can. Few can escape me should I wish to destroy them. Then, because I am bound to Death, I can follow him to several other realms. The only one I am forbidden to enter is Heaven.”

  “What happened to your beloved?” she asked.

  “Another day, Jane,” he said. “I need to feed, and I am sure after your day with your family, you will need rest as well.”

  “Oh, yes,” Jane said with a smile as she watched him leave quickly.

  “I’m really proud of you, baby,” David said as he led her to one of the tables to place their weapons. “How do you feel?”

  “Good,” she said, looking toward the empty door. She was tired, but she wanted to spend more time alone with David. Their day with the kids, trying not to touch each other because Jason was watching them like a hawk, and avoiding the whispers from the castle staff about her powers was almost like not being with him at all. Now, she just wanted to cuddle up with him and sleep.

  “Are you hungry?” he asked as he arranged several weapons.

  “No. But if you are, I want dessert.”

  He chuckled. “I could use a snack. What kind of dessert would you like?”

  “Anything.” She leaned against the table, watching him carefully. “Did I hurt you?”

  He lifted his gaze to hers and smiled. “I think you pulled your hits when they were aimed at me. Even ruled by your instincts, you try to protect me, baby.” He leaned down and kissed her cheek. “So sweet. I think I will get you some ice cream to help cool these hot cheeks of yours.” He kissed her again, chuckling as he leaned back to finish what he was doing.

  Still blushing, she watched him organize everything but spoke again when she remembered something. “David?”

  “Hm?”

  “Did anything happen with Jason when I wasn’t with you?” She watched him pause what he was doing. “I mean, I know you don’t like each other—but you both seemed extra tense. And that’s saying a lot.”

  David sighed and put a few more things away. “When you were showering this morning, I ran into him as I was coming out of your room. We had words with each other, but I didn’t think it was worth ruining your day by bringing it up.”

  “What did y’all say to each other?”

  He tossed a dagger aside and came to stand right in front of her. “It was nothing we haven’t said before. He was upset when I told him you were showering in my room after he’d seen me holding your clothes. He asked why you stayed with me, so I gave him a brief summary of the events last night, and I reminded him of the fact you are constantly going through trials. He still didn’t like the idea of us being together for the night. I wasn’t surprised by his anger, but I do not like how he dismisses your need for me.”

  Jane reached out and held his side. “He likes me to deal with things on my own—he says he does, and he thinks I should too.”

  David chuckled darkly. “In other words, he chooses to ignore you when you need him.”

  Jane shrugged, letting go of his waist and crossing her arms as she looked away from his irritated gaze. “I guess. But he has a point—you and Death baby me.”

  “You are my baby,” he said quickly. “I have waited so long to have you in my life, Jane. I want to be there for you. I want to help you. Whether it is letting you cry on my shoulder, feeding you, making you smile, or helping with your children so you can rest—I want to do it. Those are things that make me happy.”

  “You are not like most men,” she said, giving him a small smile. “Was that all?”

  David sighed and took one of her hands. He stared at her fingers, her wedding ring. “He reminded me you are not my wife—and that no matter what our bond is, I will never be your husband. That he already has that role.”

  Jane held her breath as she watched the agony flit across David’s handsome face. She hated it. She hated that he had to hurt because of her.

  He lifted her hand and kissed the back of it. “I snapped. I shouldn’t have, but I was angry because he is right. So, jealous, I told him while he may be your husband, he will never have what you and I share. I said he will never make your fast, little heartbeat ten times faster than it already is. I told him he’ll never make you blush from simply smiling at you, or make you laugh—really laugh. I promised him he would never make you feel the way I make you feel, not just physically, but emotionally as well. I told him he would never be able to say he was made just for you because that is my role. And, husband or not, I will always be yours.”

  “Oh,” she whispered as her eyes focused on the ring on her finger.

  “I am sorry that I didn’t tell you, and I apologize for stooping to his level. I am better than that, but I do not like being reminded you are not mine.”

  Her eyes watered as her heart and mind argued. She was wrong for being with David the way she had been, but her heart begged—no, demanded she fight for him. It was more than him keeping her family and the others safe now. She shouldn’t, but she wanted him the way he wanted her.

  “I’m sorry, David.” She tried to look away, but he cupped her cheeks and lowered his head so he saw into her eyes. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “Jane, you don’t have to do anything. That argument was not your fault—I can handle him. I can handle the conflict that will arise from us being close. It is a small price to pay considering it is my arms you are in most often.”

  She smiled sadly. “But it’s wrong.”

  His face fell. “Baby, we are not wrong. We are just stuck in the wrong time. All we have to do is support each other until it is our time.”

  He means until Jason dies . . . When you fail to keep your family safe . . . When you choose him over your family.

  Jane gasped and jerked her head out of his hands. “I think I need to go get cleaned up and call it a night.”

  “Jane,” he said, grabbing her hand when she tried to dart away. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” she said, closing her eyes as the image of her kids crying over Jason popped in her head. Oh, God, how can I be so cruel? She was waiting for Jason to die so she could be with David. She was waiting for the father of her children to die!

  David pulled her close, his body heat spreading to her. “Something is wrong. I know I should not have argued, Jane. I will apologize in the morning, and we will find a way to keep everyone happy.”

  She shook her head. No one will be happy if you are.

  “Baby,” he murmured as he hugged her. “What is happening? I see you slipping.”

  Jane let out a quiet sob and shoved him back. “I just need some time to think.” She stepped toward the doorway. “We told him we would only act as Others, but we practically dry-fucked this morning.”

  “Jane!” His sharp tone made her yelp. He walked to her, but she held her hand out, making him stop. He glared at her. “Do not use your power to hold me back. Now, let’s talk. You are upset about what we have done together—fine. But that is exactly why I stopped us from doing more. We are not a mistake, though. We have been building our relationship, and I know it frightens and saddens you to think about what this does to not only your marriage, but also your relationship with Death—but I refuse to believe what is happening between us is bad.”

  She shuddered under the icy look he was giving her. “I just need time.”

  He folded his arms over his chest. “Are you running away from me?”

  “No,” she said as the image of David killing Jason flashed in her mind.

  “Baby, are you seeing things?” His cold look vanished
, and he lowered his arms.

  Tears nearly escaped, but she turned away. “I’m just thinking.” She was terrified to tell him she saw things even without another immortal there to force images in. She would not be able to bear it if he ever looked at her like she was crazy. I am crazy, though.

  “Let’s go back to the room,” he said softly. “You can use my shower while I have your ice cream brought up. If you want to talk to me, you can. If you want to just rest, you can do that too.”

  “I’m going to my room.” She turned her back to him, afraid to see his reaction.

  “Why? You did not like the idea of staying there.”

  “I can handle it.” She kept her words clipped. “I don’t need to be babied. I can deal with your fangirl’s personal room.”

  David grabbed her by the shoulder and turned her around. His eyes were dark, and his face looked like it was carved from stone as he took a deep breath. “Stop this, now. You are trying to fight with me, and I am not going to let you do this to us. I’m not leaving you alone. You are upset. I’m not babying you, but I think we should at least be together as we go through all of this.”

  “That’s the problem, David. US! We are not together, but we act like a couple! We are just waiting for Jason to die!” She covered her mouth and turned away again.

  “That’s not true, Jane.” He rubbed his hands down her arms as she hugged herself. “I will protect Jason with my life, if it comes to it. He is your husband, just as he said. I know I was out of line, and I will make it right. But I am not waiting for him to die. I want nothing more than for you to have a happy life with your family, however we can make that possible. I know there is a way we can make it work.” He kissed the top of her head. “Let’s go to our room.”

  “Your room,” she whispered, tears lining her eyes as another image popped in her head: her alone while David stepped back so she could be with Jason, but alone because Jason never made her feel at home.

  “It’s your room,” she said louder, pulling out of his hold. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  This time, he did not follow her. This time, he let her go.

  Jane cried all the way to her room—and in the shower. Alone.

  She sobbed as she took off her dirty clothes. The images were getting stronger, clearer. It was her past, but she had not been so troubled with these memories lately.

  Jane stood under the spray of water and cried. She hadn’t meant to walk away, but she didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t wish for Jason’s death or even stand beside David with that thought in her head. And no matter what she did, she kept seeing things she couldn’t bear to see.

  Everything she saw was so vivid. It made it hard to tell what was real because nothing made them go away. She stumbled out of the shower, not even washing herself completely and only dressing herself in a shirt and panties before she ran to bed. She hated bathrooms, and she was terrified of this one. The images haunting her were making the fact she was alone in one so much worse.

  “Please, stop,” she whispered, hugging her wet legs to her chest. “Please.” All the strength and power she held inside herself did nothing for her when her mind was her greatest enemy.

  You’re disgusting.

  She nodded to the thought as the awful things that had been done to her as a child and teenager replayed in her head. Tears spilled from her eyes and a silent cry died in her open mouth as she saw her cousin coming into her room. “Ready to play, little Jane?” She tried to scream at the sound of her cousin’s voice, but nothing came out.

  You’re ruined . . . Dirty.

  Stephen’s every word, grunt, and breath sounded as though it was being said into her ear. She could almost feel him touching her as he did the most unspeakable things to her again and again.

  You didn’t tell David how you enjoyed it . . . How you asked him to do more.

  Jane shook her head back and forth.

  You did.

  She argued with her thoughts as her body began to shake, her sobs so violent her chest felt it was about to cave in. I thought it was a game . . . “I just liked the attention,” she whispered.

  Then why did you get wet for the other boy? Little whore.

  “No,” she cried.

  You’re pathetic. You didn’t even tell David what else Jason did . . . All because you weren’t enough for him . . . How could you be enough for someone like David?

  “Death,” she whispered in her thoughts. “Please make it stop.”

  It didn’t stop.

  Instead, she was tortured with images of her family’s death, of Wendy’s frail body, and the horrible memory of seeing her friend’s empty gaze fixed on the ceiling after she had passed away.

  No more. She whimpered. Death, please make it stop.

  But the horror of what she was capable of came forward. She saw the evil intent behind her black eyes, and she watched herself destroy everyone she loved. She saw David giving up on her once he realized she’d never really be with him. She watched him with Artemis, kissing her, holding her—smiling at her. He looked happy.

  Without Jane.

  Jane shook her head as she squeezed her eyes shut, but that only showed her more.

  She saw Death standing by, watching her in agony, but he never helped. He let her suffer, and the only explanation she could fathom was that he never loved her.

  Please don’t leave me, she begged him anyway.

  He was never really there, that cruel inner voice came back. He never cared about you. You’re a burden to them all. It would be better for everyone if you were dead.

  That was when the images shifted from watching everyone she loved leaving her to witnessing her end.

  She didn’t hesitate when she held the knife over her wrist. The cold metal gleamed in the moonlight as she forcefully sliced across her skin, spilling blood down her body as she collapsed.

  Jane whimpered, not caring that her tears drenched her pillow as another image of her demise formed. She watched herself hanging with the same empty eyes of her deceased loved ones. Then she was suddenly standing, stabbing a dagger into her heart because the pain wouldn’t stop.

  Her breathing came so fast, yet she could not feel the relief of sweet oxygen as she looked at herself in a mirror, her skin pale—and her eyes sunken in—empty. She did not cry or flinch. She simply raised a gun to her temple and squeezed the trigger.

  “Baby?” David sat up in bed, his eyes wide as his bedroom door slammed open.

  Jane ran to him, sobbing hysterically as she jumped on the bed with him. She buried her face against his neck. Her entire body was shaking and covered in sweat, but her body was cold as ice.

  David quickly wrapped his arms around her. “Jane, what’s happened? Are you hurt?” He tried to scan her body for injuries, but she hugged him tighter and wailed.

  He rocked her. “Oh, baby, please tell me what’s wrong.”

  She dug her fingers into his skin. “Let me die.”

  David froze, not sure if he had heard her right, but she confirmed his fear when she spoke again.

  “Please let me die.”

  His heart felt like it had stopped beating from the excruciating stab he felt from the simple thought of her being dead. “No. Don’t say that. Please don’t say that. I need you. Natalie and Nathan need you.”

  He pulled his blanket aside and brought her underneath to hold her closer. Jane continued to shake, but he never let her go. “Please tell me what happened. Tell me what to do, Jane.”

  She shook her head and squeezed him tighter as if she would be ripped away. “Don’t go.”

  David breathed out and shook his head while gripping her tightly. “I’m not going anywhere.” He kissed her again. “Oh, baby, what is happening to you?”

  “Don’t let go,” she mumbled again, sounding like she didn’t know anyone was really there.

  “I won’t. I’ve got you.” David didn’t know what to do anymore. He knew something was happening to her; this wasn’t just stress. T
his was something big. Something was attacking her, he’d seen it earlier, and he was hating himself for not following her.

  After several minutes, her cries and shaking eased, and shallow breaths replaced her frantic panting. He rocked her a few times and then carefully rolled so they were lying down. There was no way he was going to attempt freeing himself, but he leaned his face away to check on her.

  It hurt, devastated him, to see her like this. Sad . . . It was such a small word, but it fit her. His Jane was sad. She was fading right before his eyes—right in his arms.

  Unable to hold back, he leaned down to kiss the corner of her mouth. “I love you, Jane,” he whispered, not removing his lips. “I’m not letting go, baby. Just hang on. Don’t give up.”

  With one more kiss, he watched the anguish leave her face. Whatever she was being tortured with had ended. For now, at least.

  Hours passed. He fought sleep and continued to watch her sleep soundly, but he knew her peace would end when she woke again.

  “Whoever you are, I will kill you for doing this to her,” he said out loud, but he didn’t look away from her. He knew someone was there—someone was inflicting torment onto her mind and heart.

  So, he prayed for her. He prayed for strength to hold her through everything she was facing. He prayed for peace to find her, even if it cost him a chance at a life with her. He even prayed to Death to ease her broken heart. If he needed to leave her to Death for her to be happy and free of this hell she was in, he was willing to sacrifice his happiness and love for hers. “Help me fix her.”

  There was very little that could top waking up with David. Really, there wasn’t a more perfect sight than waking up and seeing his face inches from her own. He was completely passed out, his arm draped over her waist, but his hold was still firm, as though, even asleep, he was making sure she was there.

  She began to smile, her sore eyes adjusting as the dried tears on her cheeks cracked from the movement. Before her smile could fully form, it fell. David’s worry and anger were clear as day once she saw how his jaw was clenched and his eyebrows were knitted together. An abrupt pang in her chest made her breathe out, and within seconds, images from before overwhelmed her mind. She thought the only reason she wasn’t sobbing was because being in his arms somehow held her together.