by Janie Marie
He took her clothes off, but she felt panicked. David had rejected her—why was he doing this now?
A strong urge to resist overcame Jane. Fight him.
“Shh, baby . . . I’m here.” A pair of warm, rough hands dragged across her stomach. Again, she tried to open her eyes. David’s hands felt perfect, and they were never warm.
Her legs were pushed open as those warm hands gripped the backs of her thighs.
“Yes,” a male voice said, victory coating his words as she suddenly felt herself being thrust into.
Her eyes watered. She knew something was wrong.
Jane’s heartbeat raced as she pushed through the heaviness and opened her eyes. David was over her, thrusting in and out of her. It didn’t feel right. She felt used, numb.
He looked up, their eyes met, and she was no longer looking at David.
“He’ll never be me,” David’s voice rang through her mind.
She couldn’t move—couldn’t speak—couldn’t cry. Jason put her on the floor. They were still in his bathroom. Of all places, he’d put her on the floor of a bathroom.
A tear slid into her hair as she became paralyzed, unable to stop Jason, unable to stop the images bombarding her mind.
She was there again, a little girl pinned on the bathroom floor, under a boy she didn’t know as he used her tiny body to please himself. She was a little girl as her cousin took advantage of their relationship and her naivety to satisfy his lust and curiosity.
Her mouth fell open, and her silent cry went unnoticed. She’d experienced these memories more times than she could count, but this was different. This time she couldn’t block any of the images—the sounds of them breathing heavily in her ear—the feeling of her body being crushed into the hard floor.
David, she thought. Help me.
He doesn’t love you.
Another tear fell as her head rolled to the side. Jason was grunting, then kissing and biting her exposed neck. No tenderness. No realization that, yet again, he was putting her through pure torture to satisfy his own needs.
Death, she cried out. She had a tiny hope he cared, but it slipped away with each panted breath from Jason.
The images destroying her suddenly shifted from her abuse to memories with Jason. The disgust on his face after she’d had their children and her bright red stretchmarks were visible.
“Are those marks going to disappear?” he had asked her merely weeks after giving birth. She’d never felt so ugly in her entire life than she had at that moment.
His look of revulsion was suddenly replaced with annoyance as he shook his head at her when she cried that she wanted to die. “Then kill yourself!” he had yelled. And she had tried. A whole bottle of Ibuprofen had wound up in her stomach that day.
Finally, a soft whimper escaped her mouth, and her body jerked. She turned her head, making eye contact with Jason. Her eyes were wide, and she knew she was crying, but he didn’t react other than smiling before burying his face into the crook of her neck and deeper inside her body.
Her body shook as she silently sobbed, and more memories shot through her thoughts, pinning her from fighting Jason off, trapping her mind as he fucked her without caring that she was dying.
She closed her eyes, her face in agony when she was suddenly sitting at her computer, staring at the thousands of files that had caused it to continuously crash. Porn. There were screenshots from chat groups where Jason had made requests for women to pose for him, to masturbate on screen for him. Her broken expression was reflected on the screen as she studied the dates and number of files that were truly there. They dated back years. The timestamps were the hours when she was normally sleeping, when she used to work on the weekends, when she was visiting Wendy. On her birthday. On their anniversary.
“You’re watching porn and talking to women again,” she had said the second time she’d found the files, her eyes red from the tears she’d already cried.
Jason shrugged. “So? It’s not a big deal, just get over it and stop crying.”
You’re so pathetic, that menacing thought came back. You couldn’t even satisfy your husband. Why would you be able to satisfy anyone like David? Or Death?
She tried to scream, tried to beg for it all to stop—to stop seeing, but she couldn’t. All she saw was her unloving husband thrusting himself into her harder and harder, his face constantly changing from his own to the faces of her cousin and his friend. She heard Jason telling a woman whose name was not her own what he liked and wanted her to do.
Her throat ached from the cries and screams that couldn’t escape. It took every ounce of strength to close her eyes and turn her head again, and all she could do was tremble as Jason sucked on her skin.
“David!” she silently cried, but not a single sound left her mouth.
“You’re not in love with me anymore, are you?” she had asked Jason one day in the park.
He glanced at their kids before looking her in the eyes. No love, no warmth, nothing. “You’re my wife, Jane . . . I love you, but this isn’t a fairy tale.”
A hollowness opened in her heart. “You’re really not in love with me?”
Jason sighed and turned his attention back to the kids. “No, I’m not in love with you. You just became my wife.”
Another tear slipped across her nose as the not so distant memory faded. Those words had ruined her. Stolen any hope for them, for love. They’d broken her.
Now, even her supposed soul mate didn’t love her enough to be with her. Her angel, who she’d trusted would always be there to comfort and love her, was nowhere in sight. Because she wasn’t good enough.
Her body moved roughly against the tiles. The constant flickering sight of her as a little girl pinned underneath an older boy, staring up at the ceiling as he hurt her mixed with the realization she was still that little girl; she’d never be free of the horror that had been inflicted on her.
The unnatural heaviness on her body increased when Jason’s thrusts became faster. She tried to push the sensation away and finally felt numb when he groaned, his come filling her.
She stared at the toilet, her gaze empty, her soul sobbing as her heart shattered.
Good girl . . .
These thoughts didn’t make sense. It was almost like they weren’t just thoughts, and that made her realize how insane she truly was.
Never forget, this is what you are: a warm body. A tool. That’s all you’ll ever be.
Jason collapsed on her, his heavy breaths and rough kisses on her neck the only reminder that she still lay trapped inside her body. He began to move inside her again, and that was when the invisible restraints that kept her immobile snapped.
“Stop.” Her voice was hoarse, but she was able to push on Jason’s shoulder and make him look at her.
“Why?” He tried to move again, his soft member hardening with each stroke inside her.
“Just please stop.”
He shook his head as he let out an annoyed sigh, but he at least removed himself and moved to let her up.
Jane rolled onto her side like she often did in the past, not wanting to see his disgust when he saw her faded stretch marks.
He touched her shoulder, and she flinched. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing,” she said as she sat up. A gaping hole continued to widen in her chest. It was so painful but so numbing at the same time. Jane put her clothes back on, not looking at him, but knowing he was watching her. “I’m going to bed.”
“With him?”
Jane paused at the door as the memory of David’s rejection came forward. “No, Jason.” Her heart tried to pull pieces of itself together. “Alone.”
David walked into the living area and sat on the sofa. It was quiet in Jason’s bedroom, but he made sure he forced himself not to listen whenever he heard one of them speak. He didn’t want to storm in there and kill Jason right in front of her, but he hoped she would keep her mind straight if he upset her.
Something’s wrong.
The thought was so abrupt, it made him turn his head to stare at the door. He listened but heard nothing. Eerily nothing.
As he went to go investigate and simply convince Jane it was time to go rest, Nathan was there, tugging his hand.
“Let me go check on your mother, Nathan,” he said as he lifted the boy to put him on the sofa for the time being.
“Not yet,” Nathan said, but this time, David looked at him and saw a sadness he’d never seen in the little boy’s eyes.
“What’s wrong, little man?”
Nathan looked toward Jason’s bedroom door, his breath speeding as David began to rock him. He didn’t know what to do.
“He does that when Mommy is hurt.”
David jerked his head and realized Natalie had sat on his other side.
“When her heart hurts,” Natalie added.
Panic rose in David, and he stared wide-eyed at Nathan when the little boy spoke. “Now.”
The bedroom door opened before David could run to the room, but he turned his head and froze as Nathan buried his face against David’s shoulder.
“Baby,” David said, his voice barely a whisper as his gaze fell over the sight of her. She was pale and sweaty. Her hair was a mess, and her clothes crumpled, her shirt on inside out.
Slowly, he looked up to her face, their eyes locked, and he witnessed something he never imagined. It was as though he could see every ounce of horror and sorrow in those teary hazel eyes. Her lip quivered, and her beautiful face scrunched up in agony when two tears finally fell.
He smelled it, then. The smell of her and Jason’s bodies mixed together. The rage he felt roared to unthinkable heights, and he could not stop the furious look from spreading across his face.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered before running from the room and out into the hall.
David was still paralyzed by emotions and shock. He needed to go after her, and he began to stand when the door opened again. This time Jason stood there, only wearing pajama pants, his body still slick with sweat when he smirked in David’s direction.
“Is Mommy okay?” Natalie asked softly.
Letting out a deep breath, he listened to the sound of Jane’s bathroom door slamming, her sobs ringing in his sensitive ears even though those rooms were soundproof.
David opened his eyes. He stared at Nathan’s tears and rubbed them away before kissing the little boy on the head and removing him from his lap. Natalie touched his side, and he looked at her. She looked so much like Jane, and he saw in Natalie’s worried face how he imagined his Jane might have looked as a little girl after being abused.
Knowing he was about to commit murder and find Jane in a state no person should ever be in, he let out the loudest mental roar for Arthur to hear.
“I don’t know,” David answered Natalie with his fangs bared. He tried his hardest not to look at the little girl with rage, but she showed no fear as she nodded and moved to Nathan’s side.
Finally, David stood and stared Jason in the eyes. “What did you do to her?”
Jason just crossed his arms. “What a man does with his wife.”
David was across the room, lifting Jason by the throat and slamming him against a wall. He held himself back when the door burst open and the children screamed out. He had meant for Arthur to hear him. He knew he would need to be held back from murdering this man in front of his kids.
“Gwen, get the children out of here,” David said, never taking his eyes away from Jason’s terrified pair.
“David!” Arthur yelled as several pairs of hands gripped his shoulders and arms. “You’re going to kill him.”
Jane’s heart-wrenching cries finally reached him because someone must have gone to her room. He roared, squeezing Jason’s neck tighter as his fangs cut his lip. His brothers tried to pull him away, but they couldn’t.
“David, stop!” Arthur shouted.
He didn’t know how he did it, but he finally let Jason go. He stared down, his chest heaving as he watched Jason cough on the floor.
“HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO HER?” His voice was so loud his own ears were ringing. He went to grab Jason, ready to kill him, but Arthur put him in a hold while the others wedged themselves between him and the bastard still gasping for air.
“Fuck you! She’s my wife,” Jason shouted.
“You fucking raped her!” David yelled, throwing Arthur off his back as he tried to shove Tristan, Gareth, Kay, and Lamorak out of his way. “I will kill you for this, you piece of shit. Don’t you see what you’ve done?”
“I didn’t rape her!” Jason stood but backed away. “Jane is my wife. I can fuck my wife whenever I want!”
The others loosened their holds on him as they stared at Jason in shock.
David lunged, tackling Jason instead of ripping his head off because Arthur had also tackled him.
He roared in Jason’s face as he fought himself to not kill this man. “Did you see her face?” His eyes stung as he remembered the devastation in her once sparkling eyes. “Did she look like she enjoyed it? Do you feel like you made her happy? Can’t you see what you’ve done to her? You knew she was in no state to be like that with anyone.”
“I just had sex with my wife!” Jason shouted as Arthur began to choke David in a headlock.
David reared back and brought his fist down inches from Jason’s flinching face. The tile cracked under his hand, cutting into his skin. He snarled and mentally ordered Arthur to release him, promising he wouldn’t kill him.
Arthur obeyed, and David leaned down, baring his fangs as he spoke in a low voice. “You just put her through the same horror her abusers did. You probably always have.”
Jason’s eyes widened as a look of realization spread across his face.
“You see it now, don’t you?” David growled, pressing his fist into the floor more to keep from punching Jason’s head in. “If you ever touch her again, I will kill you.” He shook his head and pushed the others off him as he stood. “Stay away from her. You are no longer a part of her life.”
“David, go,” Arthur said, moving between him and Jason again. “Gwen is with her. Bedivere is coming. We will deal with Jason and the children.”
David didn’t stay any longer, and he quickly entered Jane’s room in time to find his sister rushing out with blood soaked towels.
They both froze as they caught sight of each other. So did the sudden arrival of Gawain, Hades, and Bedivere.
“Gwen,” David whispered, completely terrified of what his sister was about to tell him.
Her eyes welled with tears. “She scrubbed her skin off.”
David’s heart pounded, and he took a step forward, but Guinevere held up her hand. “She is healing.”
Bedivere rushed past the others. She allowed him to pass, but shook her head at David. “Not yet, brother. Let her do what she has to for herself.”
A tear fell from his eye as Gawain and Hades put their hands on his shoulders. He shook them off. He’d waited too long to come to her; he’d failed her.
“Don’t,” Guinevere said. “Not yet.”
“I have to see her,” he said, his breathing too painful now as he felt fire inside him. “I have to take care of her. I need to fix her.”
She shook her head again. “You can’t fix this, brother.”
David pushed the others away and walked to her door. They made to go restrain him, but they stopped when he pressed his forehead against the door. He placed one hand against it and closed his eyes as she sobbed to Bedivere.
“Not David,” she cried. “Not David.”
“No, dear,” Bedivere said. “He’s outside. He will come see you in a minute.”
“Not David.”
“I’m here, baby,” he said, his throat tightening at the sound of her cries magnifying. “I love you so much, Jane . . . I’ll never leave, my love. I’m sorry.”
His sister’s hand came down on his shoulder, and she turned him, pulling him into a hug as he cried. For the first time in his life, h
e cried.
“Shh, brother,” she soothed. “You must remain strong for her. She needs you to stay strong.”
He nodded and held her tight. He hated that he was receiving comfort while the love of his life wept without him.
“Please let me go to her,” he whispered, his body shaking as Jane’s cries continued.
“She said not to let you see.” Guinevere rubbed his back as he squeezed his eyes shut tight. “It will hurt her more if she sees your reaction.”
David let go of his sister and turned back to the door. He leaned against it, listening to Bedivere speaking with her before he called out for Guinevere to return and no one else.
David was staring across the room with his back against a wall, facing Gawain, Hades, and Arthur. Minutes ticked by, hours passed, and none of them could do a thing to make this better.
They were broken.
It felt like it had been days. The early morning hours were drawing closer, and David was pacing, never removing his focus from the bathroom door. I couldn’t save her, he thought to himself for the hundredth time. I was right there, and I failed her. I couldn’t even hear them.
Arthur interrupted his inner torment. “David, you didn’t know what was happening.”
David didn’t look away from the door. “I should have known she needed me . . . I did know! I ignored my instincts—”
“No, you listened to her child.”
“He didn’t know what he was talking about!” David snapped. “I should have checked on her. Why didn’t I even hear what was happening?”
“You were occupied with her children and trying to give them privacy. There’s no way you could have known, David,” Hades said. “Either of you. The boy probably sensed her distress, and that was his way of telling you she deals with it on her own.”
David ignored him and addressed Arthur. “Do you know what’s going on? Is she thinking clearly? She’s been—”
Arthur nodded and spoke before he could finish. “I know. I’ve been figuring out from your thoughts the way she’s been acting. Something isn’t right.”