The Fallen Queen: (Gods & Monsters Book 2) (The Gods & Monsters Trilogy)

by Janie Marie

  Gareth gripped Jane’s hand harder, and she broke down again, shaking her head as she screamed but not loud enough to drown out Arthur’s response.

  “He won’t survive.”

  Jane, David, Arthur, Bedivere, and Gawain quickly made their way through the castle. Guinevere had come out to greet them as Arthur dismissed the others to go spend time with their wives—that he would call for them if they were needed.

  When Jane’s vision started to darken around the edges, she blinked again and again, trying not to lose sight of Guinevere.

  David tightened his hand around hers. “Slow your breathing, Jane. I know it’s hard, but you have to be strong when we go in there.”

  She raised a shaky hand to her sore eyes, nodding as she began taking more controlled breaths. She had suffered a panic attack when they’d gotten on the plane, throwing up all over the floor until someone got her a bucket. She wouldn’t answer any of them when they tried to figure out what was happening to her. Bedivere had to explain what she was experiencing and told David how to soothe her.

  They had tried to get her to drink, but she refused water, food, and even feeding from David. At that point, Bedivere suggested, because of the amount of grief she would be experiencing, they begin intravenous fluids along with a blood transfusion. David held her still, but she didn’t fight. Her whole body felt like it was dying at that point.

  It wasn’t until they had loaded the van to make the final part of their trip to the castle that she spoke. David promised her he wouldn’t leave her side, and he’d help her cope with everything. She knew he meant well, but all she could think about was what they’d been doing together while her son and husband were attacked. She’d acted like a horny teenager while her baby was severely injured and Jason was dying a painful death.

  Jane teared up again. She knew the next moments would change everything, and she wasn’t ready. It was all her fault, and she wasn’t ready.

  Gareth jogged toward them from the direction they were heading. The car he’d left in had gotten to the castle before their van, and going by his red eyes, she knew he’d already seen her family.

  “Nathan and Natalie are asleep,” he said, trying not to look at her.

  “And Jason?” David asked as Bedivere rushed ahead of them.

  “I didn’t enter. He’s in a separate room. Elle said he’s been awake most of the time.”

  David glanced down at her. “Baby, I think we should check on the twins without waking them and then go see Jason.”

  “Okay.” Her voice cracked. She knew she wouldn’t be able to leave Jason’s side until . . . She closed her eyes, whimpering but walking faster.

  David growled, and she opened her eyes to see he was shielding her from the view of several guards.

  “David, they’re just as upset as we are,” Arthur said without looking back; he was just a few feet ahead of them. “They were under her spell as well.”

  “They should have kept her away from my fucking wing!” He bared his fangs at the guards, who lowered their heads as Gawain and Gareth put their hands on his shoulders to keep him moving.

  “Now is not the time to start blaming anyone,” Arthur said, pushing a pair of double doors open. “We will discuss disciplinary actions at a later time. Now, calm yourself.”

  David growled again and lifted her hand, kissing it as he took a few deep breaths.

  Jane knew Melody had done this; she’d heard Arthur relay what Guinevere had told him. Apparently, Natalie had come screaming through the halls before finally making it to the North Wing where Guinevere had been holding a meeting. Guinevere said Natalie was hysterical, so she picked her up and ran to Jason’s room. Elle had followed, shouting orders as they obviously feared they were under attack. Iseult had come from the opposite direction and took Natalie as Guinevere and Elle entered the room upon smelling blood. They’d come in right when Melody had bitten into Nathan’s neck.

  Melody had thrown Nathan, but he was thankfully caught by Elle and rushed to the medical wing, which left Guinevere to face Melody. At the time, neither Elle nor Guinevere had noticed Jason. It wasn’t until after Guinevere had fought not just Melody, but also guards under Melody’s manipulation that others arrived and helped the queen. And that was when they finally found Jason. He’d still been conscious and only passed out when they assured him Nathan and Natalie were alive.

  Jane had no idea Melody was that powerful. She wanted revenge, but she was too consumed by sorrow to seek it.

  David motioned for the others to go ahead and waited for them to enter the next door before quickly pulling her into a hug. “I will be with you the entire time; you’re not alone.” He tilted her face up, kissing her softly before leaning away.

  She panicked and held on to his wrist. “David, I can’t do this.”

  “You can.” He kissed her, breathing in deeply before taking her hands and holding them to his chest. “You’re the strongest person I know. Focus on Nathan for now. If he wakes up, he’s going to be so happy to see you, baby. You are always so strong for them. I know you’re tired, but you always have that amazing strength for them. Find it.”

  Jane’s eyes watered and her chest ached as she tried so hard not to break down again. “But Jason . . . And you and I were fucking when they were hurt.”

  He grabbed her face again. “We were making up the way we needed to. It was horrible timing, but don’t start to regret taking that step with me. And don’t feel guilty. We had no way of knowing what had happened. Do you understand me?”

  She stayed quiet. She wouldn’t forgive herself for the way they’d behaved while Arthur was trying to tell them they needed to leave.

  David sighed and kissed her forehead. “I love you. You can lean on me as much as you need to.”

  Jane wiped her cheeks, staring into his worried blue eyes as he waited for her to compose herself. “Don’t let me lose control, David. Not around them.”

  He smiled softly. “If I have to take you away, I will. I will keep them safe, baby. Just focus on what you have to do.”

  After she nodded, David quietly opened the door. It took a second for her feet to follow the order her brain was issuing for her to walk, but she finally entered the dim room. It was more like a long hall with rows of hospital beds. There were a few closed doors around, but her gaze was fixed on the bed where the others were gathered.

  Jane trembled as David led her to them. She watched Arthur and Gawain hug their wives while Bedivere looked over a chart, nodding to whatever Guinevere was telling him. Jane was afraid to look, but she froze, covering her mouth when she saw Nathan’s tear-stained face.

  “Shh, my love,” David whispered, supporting her as they approached the side of Nathan’s bed.

  They stood there for a moment until someone brought them a chair. David sat, pulling her onto his lap as he exhaled a relieved breath before resting his forehead on her shoulder. It was only then she remembered how attached David and the kids were to each other. For a while, they were being cared for by him more than Jason. She hadn’t even considered how upset he might have been, but he’d been dealing with her instead of showing his emotions.

  She put a hand over his but kept the other over her mouth, afraid she’d cry out.

  David held her hand, whispering in her ear once he lifted his head from her shoulder. “He’s going to be okay.”

  Jane nodded repeatedly as she checked Nathan over. There was a bandage around his little neck, and his cheek was bruised. When she lowered her gaze, she saw where most of the damage had been done. She’d already heard about his left forearm being snapped in half, breaking the radius and ulna. They had put it on a splint but were waiting until Bedivere arrived to decide what other treatments he should have.

  Neither Nathan nor Natalie had ever had a serious injury before. Jane hoped he wasn’t struggling too much with it; he didn’t like having new things or anything on his hands or feet, but he seemed okay. She reached out for his free hand that was on the bed, b
ut she didn’t touch him when she took in the I.V. on that hand. She wondered if they were giving him his pain meds through it because Nathan didn’t like to take medicine orally.

  Jane put her hand next to his, her fingers a centimeter from brushing against his. Her body shook as she cried silently. His sad little face was too much to take. He’d seen his father being brutally attacked before that attack was turned on him.

  Because of me.

  That was what it all came down to. If it wasn’t for her, they would have a better mom, they would have never needed to leave their home; they would have never been left behind or had to choose between their father and a man their mother wanted to be with. If she wasn’t their mom, Melody would have ignored them.

  Guinevere was talking to Bedivere, and what she said made Jane cry more. “He wouldn’t take any medicine, so we started an I.V. to administer them. Jason told us Jane always had a hard time administering oral medication.”

  “He remembered,” Jane whispered, referring to Jason remembering how hard a time she always had with Nathan when he was sick. “He remembered. I thought he didn’t notice.”

  David kissed her cheek. “Breathe, baby.” He rubbed her back, spreading that heat of his as he spoke to his sister this time. “How often is Jason awake?”

  “He wakes often, but only for small amounts of time,” Guinevere said, her voice cracking. “I think he has been worrying about the children panicking without him and Jane.”

  “We will go see him in a moment,” David whispered in Jane’s ear before speaking to his sister again. “Has he seen them?”

  “Yes,” Guinevere said. “After we got him stable, he woke up and asked for them. It was horrible, David. I am so sorry.”

  Arthur shushed her, but she didn’t stop.

  “I’m so sorry, Jane. I had no idea he was even seeing her. She had manipulated half the castle.”

  Jane couldn’t respond because she just realized Natalie was in the bed next to Nathan. She was asleep as well, her little hand tightly clasped on the hem of Nathan’s shirt. Her little girl’s normally peaceful face was covered in dried tears. She watched Natalie flinch and whimper in her sleep. She was having nightmares of monsters.

  I failed.

  “It relieved him to see them safe, David,” Ragnelle said. “We let them hug him, and he spoke to them until he grew weak again. We have him on morphine, but he told them you and Jane would be here soon.” She paused, letting out a grief filled breath. “They know he will not make it.”

  Jane covered her face as her heart cracked wide-open.

  “He told them he would have to leave them,” Ragnelle continued. “He said Jane would always tell them the truth, so he didn’t want to pretend or lie about being okay.”

  David rocked Jane. “Shh . . . We will get through this.”

  “He has said his goodbyes, David,” Ragnelle said. “He asked us not to bring them back. I believe he’s been waiting for Jane.”

  Jane could barely keep her cries silent. Why? She couldn’t think of anything else but why? Why him? Why not her?

  “We should go see him, Jane,” David whispered, but she didn’t move. His lips brushed her head again. “He’s waiting for you, my love.”

  She whimpered, squeezing her eyes shut. She wanted to see him, but she knew it would be the last time she did. All his last memories of her would be her turning into a monster and choosing a different man.

  “Gawain, will you stay with the children?” David asked in a low voice.

  “Of course.” Gawain knelt beside Jane, and he held one of her hands. “Jason was brave for them, Jane. Be brave for him. He deserves to have you by his side. Let him know you are thankful that he fought to save them. Tell him how proud you are of him, and let him know you have forgiven him. Remind him how much you truly love him—we all know you never stopped. Let him know that you’ll come out of this. He needs to know that, Jane.”

  “I know.” She sobbed.

  Gawain squeezed her hand before helping her stand. “Give him peace so he can rest now. Let him see that you are in good hands.”

  As David stood behind her, Gawain and Gareth hugged her between them, murmuring encouraging words into her ears as she continued to cry. She cried even harder when David was pulled into a hug by Arthur and his sister.

  When she finally calmed down, David pulled her to him. He kissed her forehead before hugging her. They stayed like that, both looking at her babies. Her heart already knew when they woke up, their father would be gone.

  “Let’s go, baby.” David grabbed her hand and led her to a closed door.

  That was when Jane picked up the low beeping sounds coming from the machines obviously monitoring Jason’s vitals. It became harder to breathe with every step she took.

  “Ready?” David had his hand on the door handle.

  She wasn’t, but she nodded and followed him inside. The room resembled a typical I.C.U. suite. There was a single medical bed with various machines Jane wasn’t completely familiar with, but she knew the heart rhythm they were showing was unstable.

  Jane covered her mouth and almost collapsed at the sight of her husband. David caught her, holding her as she sobbed. It was too terrible; she couldn’t believe he was breathing.

  “Oh, G-God!” She covered her eyes.

  “Baby, be calm. Don’t let him hear you like this. I promise you can cry as hard as you need to later, but you need to be brave.”

  “Is he really alive?” she asked.

  “Yes, baby.” David kept his arms around her as he stood back up. “He’s strong, just like you.” He kissed her head. “I’m sure he wants to see your smile, so breathe. Everything will be okay.”

  She shook her head as she took in the state Jason was in. There was an oxygen mask over his mouth, but she could tell he had taken several hits to the face by the swelling and discoloration around his eyes and jaw. Dried blood stuck to his hair and parts of his face where they clearly avoided touching.

  “It’s not.” She tried wiping her tears but more kept coming as she looked over him further. Jason’s left arm was resting at his side. It was bandaged, but blood was soaking through. It was the same with his neck; Melody had fed on him. “It’s not going to be okay,” she whispered as fury and sorrow consumed her at the sight of his mutilated chest. There were skin grafts, which she’d heard they used from the skin on his thighs and back, but she could see and smell the dying tissue. She’d seen it when she worked at the animal hospital; he had too much damage. He looked as if he’d been mauled by a mountain lion or grizzly bear.

  “The surgeon could not properly repair the damage to his blood vessels,” Guinevere said softly. “When we realized the tissue was dying, we told Jason we could try surgery once Bedivere arrived, but he said no more.”

  Bedivere had been reading over notes, but he was now inspecting the wounds.

  Jane prayed for him to look up and say he could fix this, but when he shook his head, she lost all hope.

  “Most of his exposed tissue is either dying or dead,” he said. “He needed a vascular surgeon, but they tried their best. The notes say his jugular and radial artery were damaged. The fact they were able to repair those is why he’s lasted so long—but he’s already showing signs of multiple organ failure. His intestines, pancreas, and liver were also damaged beyond the repair we could offer him. Even if I had the expertise, I do not think Jason would survive an operation.”

  Jane turned away, burying her face in David’s chest to muffle her cries.

  David cradled her head as he spoke to Bedivere. “Can you stabilize him long enough for us to find another surgeon?”

  “David, this is the most horrific attack I’ve seen a human live through. If the world wasn’t in ruin, he might have a chance, but I have no idea how we would be able to locate a skilled enough surgeon in time. Supportive care is all we can do now . . . And he doesn’t have much time as it is.”

  “Jane?” Jason’s muffled voice caused everyone to sto
p talking.

  Jane yanked herself out of David’s hold and quickly ran to Jason’s side. “Jason.” She cried, hovering her hand over his cheek. “It’s me, babe. I’m here. I’m here.”

  David placed a comforting hand on her back before grabbing her right hand. She glanced away from Jason’s face to see what he was doing. David carefully opened Jason’s hand and placed hers inside.

  Jason squeezed her hand as David squeezed her shoulder.

  “That’s Jane, Jason,” David said, patting their hands. “Can you feel her hand in yours?”

  “You kept her safe,” Jason said, cracking one eye open. “Thank you.”

  “Not as well as I would have hoped,” David said, chuckling. “But Jane is a fighter. No matter how hard she falls, she gets back up.”

  Jane smiled sadly when she heard a small chuckle from Jason, and she wanted to scream when Jason squeezed her hand. She had always wanted to feel that little affection from him.

  “Are you all right, babe? Are you hurt?”

  “I’m not hurt anymore,” she said, running her hand through his hair.

  “Good. I’ve been worried.” Jason sighed, closing his eyes when a tear escaped. “I’m sorry, Jane.”

  “Don’t be sorry,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m so proud of you, Jason. You kept our babies safe. You saved them. Please don’t be sorry. I’m the one who should be sorry. This is all my fault.”

  Jason pulled his hand from hers. When Jane realized he was trying to raise his hand to her face, she grabbed it again and held it to her cheek.

  “Baby, sit here so he can reach you easier.” David gently pushed her to sit on the bed next to Jason, but he kept a hand on her back as well.

  “This wasn’t your fault,” Jason whispered as his hand started shaking. “I listened to her. I let her come into my room because I believed her lies. She told me things about David—about the two of you together, and I fell for her trap. Guinevere told me to stay away from the others, but I didn’t listen. I guess this is what I get for always looking at women when I had my beautiful wife right in front of me.”