From Sinner to Saint

by Jones, Janice

  Antonyo lay grinning like a Cheshire cat. He knew that Claire would assume it was because of her news, and that was exactly what he wanted her to think. The real truth of the matter, however, was that Claire’s revelation simply made his desire to have her co-sign that much more of a reality.

  The two sat in silence for a while, both happy in their own thoughts.

  Claire finally broke the silence, remembering that Antonyo also had something he wanted to say. “Tony, what did you want to talk to me about?”

  Antonyo thought about it for a minute, realizing that although Claire’s confession of love went a long way toward getting what he wanted, the timing was not quite right. He did not want to spring it on her just yet.

  “I was thinking along the same lines. I wanted you to know I’m really feeling you, but I was beginning to feel uncomfortable about our relationship because of your husband.” Antonyo sat up and looked Claire in the eyes. “But now that you say you’re leaving him, I feel so much better. I want to be with you too.”

  When Claire got home just after midnight, Leonard was sitting in the kitchen, eating a sandwich while watching the small sixteen-inch television that sat atop the counter. Claire figured now was as good a time as any to tell her husband her plans.

  She sat down at the table across from Leonard and picked at the grapes in the fruit bowl. “Leonard, can we talk for a moment?”

  “Sure, Claire. It’s only midnight and I have to get up in the morning, but it’s cool. I guess this would be your first opportunity to talk to me since you just got home.”

  Claire stared at Leonard, wondering where all the sarcasm came from. This was the most emotion he had shown in more than a year. Thinking about the sadness of that revelation, Claire realized how pitiful her marriage had become. The illuminating knowledge of this sadness forced Claire to forge ahead with her words.

  “Leonard, I want a divorce. Neither of us is happy. I don’t see the point of staying together any longer. Before now, I figured it best to stay for the sake of the girls, but then I realized that I can’t just live my life for them. I deserve some happiness too.”

  Leonard did not even bother looking up from his sandwich. He spoke to Claire as if this conversation meant no more to him than a discussion about an overdue phone bill.

  “So, I guess you’ve met someone else,” he stated more than asked.

  Claire was a little surprised by his insightfulness, but not yet ready to admit to anything concrete. “Leonard, this is about you, me, and how dead our relationship is.”

  “You’re right, Claire. Our marriage has been dead for quite some time. Our children have been my only reason for staying with you as well.”

  As strange as it sounded, Claire actually felt a connection with Leonard for the first time in a long time. But they still had a big problem to tackle: the emotional well-being of their daughters. It was obvious they both loved them equally. Their pending divorce would hurt the girls significantly.

  “Look, Claire, this is definitely going to be difficult for our children, but as you said, we deserve some happiness too. We have always done what’s best for them, so we shouldn’t beat ourselves up too badly over this. Glendra and Yolanda are not babies. It’s not like either of us are divorcing them.”

  “You’re right, Leonard, but I’m scared for them. When do you want to sit them down to talk?” Claire asked.

  “The sooner the better, I think. Why don’t we do it tomorrow when you get home from work?”

  Claire nodded in agreement.

  “Leonard, thank you for not making this any worse than it has to be. I really appreciate this not turning into some ugly battle between us.”

  “Claire, we’ve shared eighteen years of friendship, if nothing else. We got two beautiful daughters out of the deal. Why should it be ugly?”

  The two ended their conversation with a companionable hug. That night, Claire slept in the bedroom and Leonard slept on the sofa in the family room.

  The following evening, the soon-to-be former couple sat down with their daughters and explained that they were splitting up. Each expressed how much they loved them and that the divorce was in no way caused by them. Leonard went on to convey that even though he was leaving the home, he would never leave their lives. He would always be there for his daughters, no matter what.

  Despite what their parents said to console them, both girls were visibly distraught. Glendra and Yolanda cried and begged their parents not to separate.

  The sight of her girls in pain shattered Claire’s heart. The peace she shared after having her conversation with Leonard was nowhere to be found during her conversation with the girls. Glendra seemed more agitated than her younger sister.

  “Mom, this is all your fault. I know it. You’ve been gone away from home more than ever. I know that’s why Daddy is leaving,” she yelled at Claire.

  “That is not true, Glen. This is nobody’s fault. Your mother and I just grew apart,” Leonard said

  “I don’t believe you, Daddy. Mommy is cheating on you. I know it. That’s why she stays out late at night. She never did that before.”

  “Enough, Glendra! I will not sit here and let you disrespect your mother,” Leonard demanded.

  Glendra sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes in her mother’s direction, but she did not utter another word.

  Claire sat in stunned silence. She really had not paid attention to how her actions were affecting her daughters. Had she been inadvertently sacrificing her children in exchange for Antonyo’s time? Yolanda’s question snapped Claire from her musing.

  “Are either of you seeing someone else?” Yolanda asked.

  Leonard looked to Claire to answer this question. Claire knew the truth about his new relationship, and he suspected her of having one as well, but Leonard was unsure if they should share these details with the girls just now. Claire answered for them.

  “The issue between your father and me has nothing to do with anyone else. We simply are not happy being married to each other anymore.” Leonard nodded, pleased with Claire’s response.

  Glendra was not as easily appeased. She continued to stare at Claire with hatred, silently blaming her mother for her heartbreak. Glendra was the epitome of a Daddy’s girl, so she found it totally incomprehensible that her father could be responsible for hurting her like this.

  Yolanda, although still quite upset, tried to be empathetic toward her parents. She loved them both equally, and did not want to cause either of them any more stress than the already horrible situation presented. “I’m really sorry that this is happening to our family, but I’ll try to live with it. I don’t want you to be unhappy anymore, Mommy and Daddy.”

  Claire smiled through her tears at the maturity of her baby girl. Her oldest child was not quite so willing to be as forgiving and understanding.

  “Daddy, I want to go with you. I’m not staying here with her,” Glendra announced.

  Claire was devastated once again. Glendra could not have hurt her any more if she had stabbed her in the heart with a butcher knife.

  “Glendra Diane Anderson,” Leonard scolded. “This is the last time I am going to warn you about your disrespect. Your mother and I have already decided that you all will continue to live here. You don’t need to add the stress of relocating to an already unpleasant situation.”

  “But, Daddy . . .”

  “No buts, Glendra. We have made our decision.”

  Glendra jumped from her chair and stormed off to her bedroom. Leonard stood to go after her, but Claire stopped him.

  “Let her go, Leonard. She has a right to be upset. And don’t worry. I won’t tolerate her disrespecting me after today,” Claire stated.

  Leonard moved out of the house four days later.

  Chapter 11

  Claire had not spent any time with Antonyo since announcing to her children that their parents were divorcing. She felt it necessary to give her girls her undivided attention during those difficult days of watching their
father prepare to depart from their home. She even took an emergency one-week leave from work in an effort to be there for them totally. She explained all of this via several telephone conversations to Antonyo, and of course, he was very supportive.

  A few days after Leonard left, the girls went to spend the weekend with him at his mother’s house, where he lived for the time being. Since the girls would be away for the entire weekend, Claire figured this would be the perfect opportunity for her and Antonyo to reconnect. Antonyo thought it to be the perfect opportunity to ask Claire about co-signing for his new car.

  Claire invited Antonyo to her home for the first time since they started seeing each other. She cooked a romantic dinner, set a beautiful dining room table, and lit the entire house with candles. She could not wait for her newly appointed one and only man to arrive. Though the dinner she prepared was delectable, her cravings were more for the touch of the love of her life than the food that would fill their bellies.

  When he arrived at her home, Antonyo found himself very impressed with all that Claire had done to prepare for their evening. Many women had gone to great lengths to amaze him and make him happy, but in his still young age, Claire’s efforts had proven the best thus far.

  “Wow, Claire! This is all so fabulous. I can’t believe you went through all of this trouble just for me,” Antonyo complimented.

  “Please, sweetie. Don’t you know how much I love you?” This was exactly the kind of talk Antonyo wanted to hear.

  “Aren’t I lucky and happy that you do?”

  After dinner, Antonyo reckoned it was the perfect time to bring up the car.

  The couple had moved to the sofa in the living room, companionably sitting and enjoying the smooth jazz playing on the stereo.

  “Do you know how much I missed you this week?” Antonyo asked as he played in Claire’s hair while rubbing her scalp.

  “No. Tell me,” she cooed in reply.

  “I missed you this much,” Antonyo indicated by spreading his arms wide.

  “You are so silly.” Claire laughed, thoroughly enjoying her man’s attention.

  “I was bored silly, both at work and at home.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry, baby, but it couldn’t be helped. My girls were really taking the breakup hard, especially Glendra,” Claire said as she snuggled closer to Antonyo. “Okay, boo, let’s talk. What did you do with yourself while we were apart?” Claire asked.

  “Not too much of anything, honestly. An old friend of mine and I were going to go out one day, but we canceled our plans because my car wouldn’t start,” he lied.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. What’s wrong with your car?”

  “It’s old, tired, and it’s time for a new one. I’ve been driving it since I was sixteen. It was old and busted when I bought it then.”

  “Well, I guess it is time for another one. Can’t you afford a new one with what you make at KLR?”

  “I could probably afford to pay a car note, but the problem would be getting financed and coming up with a decent down payment since I don’t have any credit. The interest rate would make my payment more than I could afford if I tried to finance without a co-signer. I asked my mom to co-sign, but she says that she’s too far extended. Her credit rating probably wouldn’t help me.”

  Claire thought about Antonyo’s predicament, and she really wanted to help him. Her credit was pretty decent since she and Leonard paid their bills on time. She could co-sign for Antonyo as long as he could afford to make the payments.

  “Tony, I could probably co-sign for you as long as you bought a car that was reasonably priced and the payments are not too high.” Claire’s words played as music to Antonyo’s ears, but his task was not quite complete.

  “In order to get an affordable payment on a decent car, I will need to come up with a down payment. I’ve got a few dollars saved, but it could take a minute to save all that I need. I don’t know if my car is going to last that long.”

  “Have you priced any vehicles?”

  “Yes. I went to a dealership with my Aunt Treecie the other day. They have a great deal on a barely used Monte Carlo. To get it at a payment I could afford, I would need a co-signer and a couple grand on top of the grand I already have saved.”

  Claire’s wheels started spinning again and she started smiling to herself. She was happy that she was in a position to help such a sweet man—the man that now belonged to her exclusively.

  “Tony, I am embarrassed to ask you this. It’s really something I should already know. When is your birthday?”

  Antonyo thought that to be a strange response to his dilemma. It was just the beginning of July. He certainly did not want to wait two more months before he got his car; yet, he answered her question without sounding distressed.

  “August twenty-ninth. I’ll be twenty.”

  Claire cringed just a tad as Antonyo announced his age. Was the age difference really that great? She quickly got over it, however, as she thought about all of his redeeming qualities. She really needed to meet his mother. Ms. Simms raised an exceptional young man all by herself, and she sincerely needed to be commended.

  “Well, consider my help an early birthday gift. We’ll go over there after we get off work on Monday and get everything in order for you to pick up your new vehicle.”

  “You know you don’t have to do this, Claire. I was simply telling you the story to make conversation. I wasn’t asking you to help.”

  “I know, honey. It is my pleasure to help you. I love you.” Normally it would have been Antonyo’s turn to cringe after hearing those three loaded words, but he was too busy being elated over his good fortune.

  “You are so incredible, Claire. Thank you. I am a very lucky man. You are my boo.” Antonyo grabbed Claire in a big bear hug, squeezing her tightly.

  Tuesday afternoon, Antonyo picked up his new car.

  Another month passed and things between Antonyo and Claire were stronger than ever. Claire began behaving with a whole new abandon. She still had not introduced Antonyo to the girls, and for the sake of propriety, mum was still the word on their relationship at work. But Claire told her only sister, her mother, and her best friend all about her tender young lover.

  Whenever the girls were spending time with Leonard, Claire spent hers with Antonyo. Since the girls were still on summer vacation from school, she allowed them to spend the majority of their days with Leonard.

  Claire knew she should feel guilty about the time she was spending away from her girls, but she did not. She was a woman in love. She had spent half her life in a miserable marriage, being unhappy, trying to do what she thought best for her family. She, for once, wanted to do something for herself, something that made her happy.

  On more than one occasion, she even toyed with the idea of giving Leonard physical custody of the girls once school resumed in September, so that she would be free to be with Antonyo all day at work and all evening at home. Claire was sprung.

  One afternoon when Claire and Antonyo both had the day off, their time of blissful leisure came to a screeching halt.

  The couple was upstairs in Claire’s bedroom when all of a sudden Claire heard, “Mom, I was surprised to see your car in the driveway. What are you doing—Aaarrrghh!”

  Claire did not hear Glendra’s voice until she was at the top of the stairs outside her opened bedroom door. In that time, Claire only had time to cover herself and Antonyo before Glendra walked in.

  “Glendra, what are you doing here? I thought you were at your grandmother’s house!” Claire yelled at her daughter in exasperated embarrassment as she clung to the bed sheet, shielding her nudity.

  “I was about to ask you the same thing, but I can see for myself exactly what you are doing,” Glendra yelled back at the top of her lungs upon seeing a male in bed with her mother. She was furious.

  “Glendra, give me a minute and I’ll talk to you. Just close my door so we can get dressed,” Claire pleaded patiently.

  “That is so disgusting, Mom. Who
is this? I knew you were cheating on my father all along.”

  Claire left the bed then. She tried to push Glendra toward the door out of the bedroom. “Glendra, leave now. I said I will talk to you later,” Claire demanded.

  “Mom, this guy looks to be my age. How can you leave Daddy for him? You are such a slut. I hate you!” Glendra violently snatched from her mother’s grasp and ran from the house.

  Claire was furious with her child for her blatant disrespect, furious with herself for the hurt and anger that she caused Glendra, and furious with Antonyo for being so addictive that she had been careless and reckless in her own home. She sank to her bed with her face in her hands and cried.

  By this time, Antonyo had managed to put on his pants. He walked over to the bed and sat next to Claire, placing his arms around her shoulders. He sat there trying to comfort her, but his mind stayed on Glendra and how attractive the young woman was.

  Claire told Antonyo to leave soon after Glendra did. She needed some time alone to recuperate. Later that evening, she received a phone call from Leonard regarding the episode witnessed by Glendra. Surprisingly, Leonard did not berate her for the incident. He instead came across as very understanding.

  “Claire, your fight with Glendra was just an unfortunate accident. You have every right to be happy and involved with a man.” Leonard lightened his mood and continued. “Though I hear the word man would be a stretch for this person.”

  “Forget you, Leonard,” she playfully responded. “He makes me happy.” Claire was glad that she and her soon-to-be ex could communicate like this. Obviously they were meant to be friends, not life partners, but together they still had to deal with the unpleasantness at hand.

  “Well, what should I do about Glendra?” Claire asked.

  “We will just have to sit her down and explain the truth about your new relationship. She’s not a baby. She is going to have to get used to the fact that life is not always going to go the way she wants it to.”

  “The sooner the better, I think. Can you all come over for dinner when I get off work tomorrow?” Claire asked.