How to Bake the Perfect Apple Pie

by Gina Henning

  “Trent, my engagement isn’t a secret,” I snap. I’ve had enough. “I’ve been wearing this engagement ring since the first moment you stepped into my office, when I was interviewing you to be a member of my team. Whether you noticed it or not is insignificant.” I haven’t been flashy about it with anyone for the record and so far the only person who noticed it was Elaine. I’m surprised she hasn’t made some sort of remark to Trent about it, after all of her insinuations. “I’m a private person and extremely professional, so just because I’m not talking about flowers, favors, and wedding cakes at our weekly team meetings, it doesn’t mean I’m fair game.” I jut my chin out stubbornly.

  “Sorry. I just thought…I mean, I felt like we had a connection.” He bites his lip and stares at me as if he is waiting for me to agree. Which is not going to happen. One, I am engaged and two, that would be the most inappropriate and unprofessional move of my career.

  The silence between us is loud. I cast my gaze in the direction of the report, trying to decide which item to tackle first. “Let’s talk about your call time resolution. It’s really been suffering. What can you do over this next week to improve that?”

  “I’ll go over the handbook guide this weekend and write up a few key responses for handling basic conflicts. Then I’ll identify the companies we want to focus on promoting for Q3 and begin building my backlist for them.”

  This is music to my ears. This is the guy I hired. Not the somber depressed guy who had been sitting at my desk a few minutes ago.

  “Perfect. I think if you can adjust all of your calls with those key items you can see a drastic spread increase next week.” I nod my head. Inside I’m doing a dance. I hope I never have a conversation like this, with Trent where he brings up his feelings for me, again. That was beyond awkward. And deep down I’m kicking myself because Jack had warned me of Trent’s true feelings and I had brushed him off.

  He was right. I wasn’t totally blindsided. I’m not an idiot; I know when people seem attracted to me. But attracted and caring for me in more than a physical way are two different things.

  “I won’t let you down again, Lauren.” Trent stands up. He is like a giant over my desk. I stand as well and he is still a good foot and half taller than me. I’m not extremely tall, more like average woman height, but Trent fits on the scale of professional basketball player. Like when you’re in a crowd he towers over everyone, but not in an awkward world record award winner way, instead like a celebrity who stands out from regular people. Oh lawd, I need to get a grip. I’ve obviously spent too much time contemplating his height.

  Except Jack isn’t shorter than him. Hmmm, maybe he isn’t as tall as a pro basketball player. Jack is really tall, but I’ve never seen him as a pro basketball player type. Maybe that’s because he doesn’t have that type of body build. He isn’t lanky or thin; he’s got muscles. I sigh. Muscles that I miss.

  “Thanks.” I manage to say to Trent as we both reach for the door and our hands touch. He lets his rest on mine for a second too long and I jerk mine back like I’ve touched something hot. My cheeks are warm. I take in a deep breath.

  Trent stares down at me and the sides of his mouth curl up. “That’s what I thought.” He opens the door and strides out of my office.

  I roll my eyes. Great. Like I need him thinking there is anything there. Argh. I need this day to be over.

  I make my way back over to my desk and see a message on my screen. It’s from Javier.

  “Numbers are not good this week. Not good.”

  My stomach clenches. Shiat. He is right. My team’s numbers are horrible this week. I’m sure Elaine is rocking back and forth in her office chair right now, glowing in her schadenfreude of enjoyment.

  “Yes, sir, we are working on our game strategy for next week.”

  “I hope to see a big improvement.”

  “Yes, sir, you will.”

  Shiat. I let out a deep sigh and type up an email to each member of my team outlining where they need to improve and asking for them to send me a detailed list of what they are going to do to make this happen.

  Always get it in writing is my mantra for all things business related. Even though Trent and I already met, I still need his in writing. His is the last email I send. I have to be careful how I word it. I don’t want him to take anything I say for an innuendo of anything other than professional work-related discussion.

  “Trent,

  I’m sending out an email to everyone on our team with their numbers for this week and outlining where we need to see an improvement for next week. Please send me back a list of what you are going to do to make this happen.”

  I click send. My clock reminds me I have got less than an hour in the office before I rush off to the airport.

  A message pops up on my screen.

  “You want me to put in writing what we already discussed in your office?”

  I roll my eyes. Why does he have to be so difficult?

  “Yes, everyone needs to send me an outline of what their methods will be for improving their numbers for next week’s reports.”

  “Do you not remember our conversation?”

  My stomach clenches. “Trent, I need everyone’s emailed list by 4 p.m. today, thank you.”

  I close out of the messenger program. I do not need any further back and forth from him. I go through my own numbers and make a list of what I’m going to do to increase my own shortcomings. Knock. Knock. My shoulders slouch. I don’t need any distractions right now.

  I open the door and Trent is leaning against the doorframe. His entire body is exuding confidence. The somber look from earlier has vanished. It’s almost as if he took a suave pill and is ready to see how it works on the ladies. I shake my head. I’m not in an Axe commercial. I’m not swayed by scents…well maybe, but only Jack’s. Trent’s scent does nothing for me and neither does this air of overconfidence, leaning against my door. I raise my eyebrows at him.

  “Yes?”

  He grins. “I was having a hard time remembering everything in our conversation. I thought we could go over it one more time.” He taps on a notepad with a blue pen. “I brought my notepad.”

  I drop my shoulders. He can’t be serious. I’m not sure what kind of weird game this is, but I don’t want to play. I just want to wrap up my work and head to the airport and get miles away from this office and this tension.

  I take a deep, annoyed breath. “Sure, Trent, come on in.” After our Messenger conversation I want to avoid that type of banter in the doorway of my office, which leads to the hallway full of ears and accusations. I wouldn’t be surprised if Elaine popped up from around a cubicle to give her insight into our conversation.

  I slide into my chair and Trent’s eyes follow my face, down my body, as if he is seeing someone sit down for the first time. I raise an eyebrow at him.

  “Yes, so what was it that we decided I should do differently next week?” He taps his blue pen on his lips.

  I cast my gaze to my computer screen and pull up his report.

  “Okay, so we were talking about your conflict resolution.” I nod.

  “Yes.” Trent taps his lip with his pen. “I’m definitely going to work on my conflict resolution.” His eyes are boring into me, like he is trying to force a non-professional conversation.

  “Good, and you said you would work on promoting Q3 target companies.” I bite the inside of my cheek.

  “Of course, I’ll be promoting Q3. I think the future is looking up.” He raises his eyebrows at me. I’m going to pretend that I do not see this or any other part of his less than subtle statements.

  “Great, so we’ve gone over everything, now please send me your report.” I press my lips into two flat lines.

  “Come on, Lauren, why are you pretending?”

  “Trent, I’m not pretending anything.” I add a “don’t mess with me” edge to my voice. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, and I’ve got a plane to catch.” I nod my head to the door as in “se
e yourself out”. I’ve got better things to do than chat it up with Trent about this nonsense.

  “Right, to see Jack?” Trent’s eyebrows pull together in doubt. “Deny it all you want, but I bet Jack sees it too.”

  I let out a deep breath. “That’s enough. You need to leave.” I stand up and march around my desk and open the door with a force I haven’t experienced in a while.

  “Okay that was too far…I’m sorry.” He offers his hand. I’m reluctant to shake it but against my better judgment I do. His hand holds on to mine and he grasps it longer than necessary and rubs my palm with his thumb.

  “Trent, you’ve got to stop this.” I yank my hand back.

  Trent lets go of my hand and his eyes focus on the floor. I’m hoping he is remorseful and this is the last of his advances. He leaves my office and I shut the door on the nonsense that just occurred in my room.

  I type away at my computer and check my email box. There are two messages—both from Trent.

  The first one is his response with his action plan. The second is an apology.

  “Hey Lauren, I sent my numbers before we met. I thought you knew that when you let me in your office.”

  I roll my eyes. Seriously, I do not need this. I lock my computer, grab my purse from my bottom drawer, and hustle out of my office, securing it before I make my way down the hallway.

  The elevator opens and I hop in and immediately press the down button. The doors start to close but Trent squeezes in. His eyes are dark and he ignores the elevator and steps towards me. I back up until my back is against the hard metal. This is not right.

  Trent leans in close to me, to where there isn’t anything but a millimeter of breathing room.

  “Tell me stop and I will.” Trent stares down at me.

  “Stop,” I say strongly.

  Trent backs up yet he does not have the somber look that came into my office earlier. The elevator dings and I rush out as if I just heard the fire alarm go off. I scramble into my car as fast as I can and head to the airport, eager to brush off my uncomfortable encounter with Trent.

  ***

  “Hey, wow, it’s so good to see you.” Jack breathes into my ear. It is good to see him as well. I’m at home in his arms. In a special place that I don’t want to ever leave. My eyes are full of tears, tears that I do not want to deal with at this moment. Why do I tear up at the most inopportune times? I blink several times and wipe my eyes.

  “Lauren, are you all right?” He stares down into my eyes, waiting for a response. No, I’m not all right. Things are not okay, which is why the fountain of sadness is wanting to fall from my eyes. It’s like a warning of the evitable. Foreseeing the ending of something great and I’m not blind; I see it. I know it’s coming.

  “I’m fine.” I wipe away my tears. Maybe I’m being over dramatic; maybe it will work out. Maybe I’m just flustered from the back and forth with Trent and all of his insinuations.

  Jack pulls me in closer and kisses my head. “It’s been too long.” He combs my hair with his fingers and frames my face. “When you kept rescheduling all of your trips…” His eyes bore into mine. I can’t hide and deny the reason as to why I missed all my visits home. I did it on purpose. I didn’t want to come back. I don’t want to live in this faux reality of being in bliss on the weekends and then carrying on during the work week as if I’m alone. When I accepted Jack’s proposal I assumed it would be followed by a wedding, and we don’t even have a date. He doesn’t seem like he is even thinking about a possible month to make it happen. Let alone that he isn’t sharing things with me that he should be or at the very least want to.

  “Lauren, what’s wrong?” Jack releases my face and runs his hand through his soft sandy blond hair.

  “Nothing. Let’s get out of the airport.” I nod towards the exit. I only brought my carry-on. No need to wait at the luggage carousel for extra baggage. No, I’m carrying all of my baggage…in my head. And it’s too much. I can’t take it.

  Jack leads me out to his car and opens the door. I fall into the seat. I’m overwhelmed with my emotions. Sadness, worry, doubt, fear, and then the possibility of happiness and enjoyment and the biggest emotion of them all…love. I sigh.

  The car backs out of the spot and we filter onto the highway in silence. Jack casts his eyes on me, avoiding the traffic on the road ahead. “Lauren, talk to me. What has you so upset?”

  I blink. “Nothing. It’s just work,” I let fall from my mouth. I want to avoid the conversation that is playing on a constant loop in my mind and focus on something that I think I can control: my work. Even though today was trying, I still feel like I stood tall against all of Trent’s advances and I’m proud of myself.

  “Why is it that I think this problem with work has to do with Trent?” Jack slides a glance at me.

  I purse my lips. I nod. “Well, actually yes, today was trying as far as Trent is concerned.” I know that telling Jack about what happened today will probably not go over well. But I haven’t been able to tell anyone about it and it was a really difficult and uncomfortable moment for me. And if we can’t talk about drama at the office then what kind of couple are we? Or are we? I shake my head.

  “What happened, Lauren? Tell me.” Jack inspects my face. The vein in his temple is throbbing and his face is full of concern.

  I sigh. “Trent came on to me.” I shake my head. “I told him to stop…and I hope he’s going to listen this time.”

  The car veers over to the right and Jack puts the car in park. He stares at me with an intensity I’ve never seen in him before.

  “What happened? Lauren, I want you to tell me everything and not leave anything out.” His lips form two straight lines.

  My eyes are wide and I strain to focus on what he is saying. Should I actually tell him everything? Will it matter? Will it change things? Is it important? All of these questions are flooding my mind and before I can collect an affirmative answer from myself I begin speaking as if I have no control of my own vocal chords.

  “Okay it started earlier today. He said his low numbers were because he didn’t know that I was engaged and that really hurt him, blah blah blah.” I roll my eyes and sigh. “Then he tried to say that I should admit there was something between the two of us. I brushed this off and told him he needed to leave my office and he did.” I swallow.

  “And then?” A vein in Jack’s throat is pulsating beyond control.

  “And then he came back later and insinuated…well no not really insinuated, but rather stated again that there was something between the two of us. I told him to leave again and he did.”

  “And that’s it?” Jack runs his massive hand through his hair.

  “No.” I slump my shoulders. “As I was leaving, he cornered me in the elevator and got really close.” I rub my lips together. “He said he would stop if I told him to and I said stop and he backed away and that’s it.” I sigh. I thought by sharing there would be some sort of weight lifted off me or some sort of clarity. Like everything would make sense. Yet here I am, in Jack’s car, in a deafening silence that is so loud it hurts.

  “What are you going to do?” Jack is glaring at me with his icy blues. They are colder than I’ve ever seen them.

  I squint at him. “What do you mean? I already did everything I could.” I blink.

  Jack laughs but it isn’t a happy laugh. He taps on the steering wheel. “No, Lauren, you haven’t done anything. This guy needs to be handled. He is out of line and downright dangerous. You need to report him to Human Resources at the very least.” The vein in Jack’s neck is working overtime.

  I shake my head. “No, I can’t do that.”

  “What do you mean you can’t do that? Why would you do anything but that?” Jack runs his hand through his hair. “What if he does this with other women. Don’t you care about that?”

  “Jack, he didn’t assault me.” I shake my head. “Was he inappropriate? Yes, but I’m not going to cause a bunch of problems just because he misunderstood the
way I feel.”

  Jack rolls his eyes and bites his thumb. “Lauren, are you seriously taking the blame for his advances? Come on…you’re too smart for that. Don’t you have more self-confidence than this?” Jack shakes his head dismissively at me.

  “Okay first of all, I do have self-confidence… I would have to in order to be with…you.” I blurt out.

  Jack jerks his head back. His face softens. “Lauren…what…what are you saying?” Jack grabs my hands and pulls them up to his mouth. He kisses my knuckles. “Lauren, what are you saying?”

  I want to tell him how insecure I feel about our relationship, how I feel like it’s slipping away, dissipating, going into a place that will be stowed away and never resurrected. I want to. I do. But I’m afraid. I’m afraid of sharing all of my feelings with him. I’m afraid…that I’m wrong about him, that we’ve moved too quickly. I’m afraid that we are too different. Maybe Jack wants someone who doesn’t question him so he just leads the way to everything…but I can’t be that… I want to walk beside him not behind him. I swallow.

  “It’s nothing.” I glance at my lap. “I’ve just missed you.” Jack pulls me into his arms and kisses my head and then my forehead. His kisses a trail along my face until his lips are on mine. He pauses for a second before kissing me passionately. His lips are pressed tightly against mine and his tongue is searching for mine. I’m hesitant…afraid to fall again… I don’t want to go out on a limb alone. What if Jack leaves me there? His hands run through my hair and tingles of sensations pop up along my scalp. It’s like warm water washing over me. His love flows over me like molten lava chocolate cake. It’s so gooey and sweet, I almost forget about why I was upset.

  Jack brushes my hair away from my face. “You’re so gorgeous. We’ll figure this out.” He kisses me once more and then steers the car back onto the highway. We’re traveling fast down the road, headed to my parents’ house. Jack asked if I would stay with him, but I said I couldn’t, that my family would be really bothered, and he finally let it go.