by Gina Henning
“Do you want to go to my place for a bit so we can talk?” Jack squeezes my thigh. Physically I would love for nothing more than to go to Jack’s house and “talk”, but it’s late and I’m sure my parents want to see me and besides I’m exhausted. The time difference is only an hour, but it is after eleven p.m. for me and I’ve had an emotionally depleting day. I want to crash my head on my pillow and forget about all of my worries.
“I can’t…everyone is expecting me.” I bite my lip. “And I’m really tired.” I blink. My eyes are sore, needing sleep.
“All right.” Jack hops out of the car and grabs my book bag. He puts his arm around my shoulder as we make our way up to my parents’ doorstep. The doormat has neon lights and reads: “Mothers Rule the World”. An image of a woman in an apron with a bowl and spoon is flashing up at us.
“Thanks for picking me up.” I glance up at Jack’s face. The worry lines around his eyes are showing and the warm glow from his cheeks is missing.
“You can thank me later.” Jack leans down and kisses me. It’s a soft and sweet kiss. He releases my lips and I open the door to my parents’ house. He stands on the doorstep for a moment longer as if he is waiting for me to say something. I swallow.
“Goodnight.”
He nods and I close the door. Why did that seem like more of a farewell than a see you in the morning? My stomach tenses. I’m nauseated. I peer in the kitchen. It’s empty. I guess everyone is already in bed. I hike up the stairs to my childhood room. I flip the light switch on and place my book bag on the floor. As quickly as I can, I change into my pajamas and fall into my creaky bed. I’m ready to close my eyes on this day and pretend the majority of it was more of an over exaggeration in my mind than a reality of what is to come.
Chapter Thirteen
“Please tell me you finally have a date?” Luke pours me a cup of coffee and hands it to me. Of all of my family members he is the least likely person I would think to be bothering me about setting a date. I take the cup from him and pull out the powdered creamer. The flakes fall into the cup with despair. There’s absolutely no way that they measure up to real cream.
I take a sip. I’m definitely home. “No, I…er…we don’t have a date.” I sigh.
Luke puts his cup on the counter. “Is everything all right, Lauren? I was just giving you a hard time, but is there a reason you don’t have a date?” Luke grasps my arm.
I bite my lip. “Honestly, I don’t know why we don’t… Every time I’ve brought it up with Jack, he has either changed the subject or told me he’s working on things.”
Luke stretches his neck from side to side. “Do I need to go and have a talk with him?” He pops his knuckles. “He’s at the retirement place today, right?”
I roll my eyes. “Luke, I appreciate your offer, but no…that would not go over well. I can handle this on my own. Either we’ll have a date or we won’t, but that’s something for us to figure out.” I raise an eyebrow at him. “Capiche?”
“No.”
I slump my shoulders. “Luke, come on, if you said anything it would be really embarrassing and cause a conflict.”
Luke shakes his head. “You know what else is embarrassing? Having a black eye.” Luke laughs.
I groan. “You are so ridiculous.” I take my coffee and sit down at the table. “Where is everyone?”
“Aurora is in bed with the twins and Mom and Megan took Winter and River to the park.”
“And Dad is—”
“Golfing.” Luke finishes my sentence for me.
My dad is always golfing. He probably plays golf more often than a doctor does.
“What’s Brian up to?” I almost don’t want to know. Every time he visits my parents’ house he comes up with something to fix. Whether it’s a new doorbell that is supposed to play various tunes but only plays “La Macarena” for several years, or a new railing for the staircase, which is a bunch of multi-colored quasi-shelves in place of what would normally be one long standard rail.
Luke rolls his eyes. “I can’t even believe this one, but he convinced Mom and Dad to let him install a central vacuum cleaner for the house.”
I spit out my coffee and cough. After my throat is cleared I wipe my mouth. “You can’t be serious.” This has got to be a joke. Brian has never installed anything per the instructions or building code or anything like that. I cannot believe my mom would allow this, or my dad for that matter.
“No joke. He is in the garage right now configuring the central system.” Luke shakes his head.
“The house is probably going to explode. We should get out of here.” I dart my eyes around the room as if I need to figure out what items to take with us.
Luke laughs. “Yeah, I can just see you on the news now. Local elf returns home for Mother’s Day only to find her parents’ house explodes.” He chortles. “Talk about a headline.”
I roll my eyes. “Laugh all you want, but you were an elf too and it won’t be funny if Mom and Dad don’t have a home.” I give him the eye. I’ve been practicing in the mirror. It’s the look my grandmother gives when she means no funny business.
Over Christmas my family picked me up from the airport dressed as elves. My mom was kind enough to bring along a costume for me as well. It just so happened that the local news station was there interviewing the holiday travelers and I landed the great opportunity of being on the news. Thankfully only Brianna and Jack have seen this…besides my family who witnessed my performance live.
“Yeah, but I wasn’t interviewed.” Luke laughs. “That was so funny… Could you have looked more nervous?”
I shrug. “I doubt it. So anyways, why would Mom agree to this new upgrade?” I air quote the operative word.
“That’s an even funnier story.” Luke takes a swallow of his protein shake. No doubt he’s about to go and run several miles. He is a multi-time marathon finisher and has completed every other impressive race. “I told Mom about how much you liked to cuddle with Baba and now she is going to get a cat.”
I pick up the nearest thing in sight, a dish towel, and throw it at his head. Along with his running, Luke has a great arm and catches the towel with ease.
“Oh it’s on.” Luke’s eyes beam. And I take off running out the front door. I’m sure he is going to try and douse me with water or something else. He never plays fair. I rush down the walk and run into Megan and my mom. Winter and River are staring up at me with open mouths.
“Aunt Lauren, why are you running?” Winter looks at me with such childhood innocence.
“It’s your daddy. He is trying to tag me.” I run down the sidewalk and stop when I’m a good five houses away from my parents’ house. I stand and wait for Luke to come out of the house. I’m breathing so hard it’s embarrassing. Another reason for me to get back to working out in some fashion. I lean over and cough. Cold water splashes down on my head. Ice chunks fall over my back and down my neck. I hunch over for a second, letting the chill slide off of me. It’s almost as if I’m frozen in time.
I turn around, even though I know who is behind me. “Luke, that was really low.”
“Fair’s fair, Lauren. Besides, you never accepted our ice bucket challenge on Facebook that we sent you.” He shakes his head at me.
“I sent my check in though.” I glare at him and shake off the water. My shirt is completely soaked.
“Well, I don’t remember seeing any updates about it.” Luke laughs.
“Fine, we’re even.” I press my lips into two straight lines. I should have known he would go out through my parents’ backyard and come the other way. I shake my head.
“Shake on it?” Luke offers his hand.
I do not want to shake on it. If I do, that means I can’t get him back and I really need to get him back. Soaking me with ice water is extreme and deserves retaliation. I pretend not to hear him and hustle back to my parents’ house.
“All right, that’s fine… Don’t shake…but remember you had your chance,” Luke calls out to me
. I still pretend not to hear him and go inside.
My mom is in the kitchen. “Honey, you’re soaked!”
“Yes, because of your son.” I hop up the stairs and go to my room. Now, I’ve got to find a different outfit to wear.
I decide to go with my black buttoned-down shirt, black shorts, and thin gold belt with my black sandals with gold ankle straps. Jack and I are supposed to get together at some point today. I’m not sure what the rest of the plans are. I know my mom told me Vintage Estates was having some Mother’s Day brunch for the residents tomorrow and then I’m supposed to bring my grandmother over to my parents’ house so we can have our own Mother’s Day celebration, which apparently my dad has been planning with Luke.
They have never planned anything together, other than a double decker salami and provolone sub, so it should be entertaining to see what they have come up with.
I pull my phone out of my purse. I’ve got a couple of missed texts—one from Jack.
“How is it you are in the same zip code as me and I feel farther away from you? Call me. I miss you. I need to see you.”
My chest tightens. He feels the same way. The distance between us is not just an overactive imagination on my part. Part of me is relieved to know I’m not being dramatic and the other part of me is extremely sad to be struck with the reality of the situation.
I swallow hard. I blink back tears. I am not going to cry. Nothing has happened. I scan through the other text messages. One is from Brianna and the other is from Trent.
“I’m sorry about the elevator. I promise I won’t do that again.”
I roll my eyes. Great. He won’t do that again. Perfect. I’m so comforted by this. I shake my head and read Brianna’s message.
“How’s it going with Jack? Did you figure things out?”
I purse my lips to the side. Nope. Same old same old, except now he is admitting the same feelings. I need to get this resolved. I head down the stairs and run into Brian. He’s wearing his tool belt.
“Hey Lauren, did you hear?” He reaches in to hug me.
This is even more awkward than normal hugs from him as we are on the stairs and my parents have extremely steep stairs. I lean down and pat his back quickly. I don’t want to crack my head open during this visit.
“No, what’s up?”
“I’m installing a central air vacuum for your parents.” The sides of his mouth pull up higher than I think I’ve ever seen from him, other than on his wedding day to my sister.
I raise my eyebrows. “Yeah…wow…really cool.”
“Exactly, ha! Cool except the air will most likely just be room temperature.” Brian nods and continues up the stairs.
I make it to the bottom of the steps. My mom is sitting at the table doing a sudoku puzzle. I peer over her shoulder. I wonder if this is one of the new ones I got her for Christmas. She’s wearing her children’s art outfit. It’s a dress she had custom made with various pieces of art we made for her as children. Apparently the designer was okay with the prints on the dress, but would not go with the 3-D version my mom had insisted upon, so she took it upon herself to add dry macaroni and glued yard structures to her chest. On one hand I’m honored my mom would wear my art, but on the other…it seems like overkill and she looks a bit ridiculous. I shake my head.
“Can I borrow your car? I want to go up to Vintage Estates.”
“Sure, honey, my keys are in my purse.” She doesn’t glance up from her puzzle.
“Thanks.” I dig into her purse and pull out the keys and head out of the house. I back out of the driveway and press Jack’s contact number. I need to make sure he’s there before I show up.
“You are alive.”
“Hey, um, are you at Vintage Estates?”
“Yes, where are you?”
“I’m driving there now, okay?”
“That’s great. I’ll roll out the red carpet.”
I laugh. “No need to worry about the red carpet, but make sure the valet is ready. You know I don’t like to wait, darling.”
“I wouldn’t ever make you wait. See you soon.”
I gulp. He does make me wait. He won’t pick a date for our wedding and he keeps making me wait for it. My chest tightens and my foot presses even harder on the gas pedal. I check my speed. I need to slow down.
Jack is waiting for me in the parking lot, leaning against a stone pillar. My rage tempers. I wasn’t going to hop out of the car and blow up about the date. But I can’t deny my frustration. Yet there he is and immediately the date doesn’t seem as big a deal in front of him as it does when I’m away from him.
Jack opens my car. “May I have your keys?”
I squint at him. “What?”
“So that I may properly park your car, miss.” He offers me his hand.
I laugh. “Right. Well it seems I parked it fine on my own today.” I brush my shoulders off. I seem to be doing a lot of things on my own… Maybe that’s what is written in the stars for me…to end up all alone. I swallow.
Jack wraps his arms around me and pulls the back of my neck to him. His lips lightly kiss along my collarbone and up my neck until he meets my lips. And then the idea of loneliness is swept from my mind and my heart is squeezing tight. I’m tingling. Hot oil drips down my body as if I’m getting some sort of special spa treatment.
“Jack.” I lean back.
“What…it’s no biggie… I know the owner.” He kisses me again and his tongue makes his way to mine and we dance a sweet passionate song.
“Oh Jack, you’ve got a call,” someone shouts from across the parking lot. Jack breaks our lips and turns in the direction of the voice.
My eyes follow his, and stop on a slender, tall woman. Her jet-black hair is blowing in the wind and seems to be surrounding her as if she has a personal wind machine set up. Jack squeezes my hand. “Come on, I want to introduce you to Corinne.”
My chest tightens. I want to meet Corinne, but I don’t. Once I meet her she will be a reality and I’m scared to discover if there is anything to my jealousy. We stride together across the parking lot and as we get closer I can make out all of her features. She is like a real-life version of Pocahontas. Long shiny hair, big brown eyes, and high cheekbones. Perfect.
“Lauren, this is Corinne Smith, the new manager. And obviously Corinne you know this is Lauren, my fiancée.”
Corinne’s smile is bright and warm. “Hi, nice to meet you.” I offer my hand and return my most professional grin.
Corinne reaches in and hugs me. “I’m so happy to finally meet you. Jack talks about you non-stop.” She laughs.
I let out a slight laugh as well. This is somewhat reassuring, but still, I’m not won over that easy. In the back of my mind I can hear Brianna giving me a spiel about not being catty and being supportive of other women. I temper myself as best I can.
“Jack, Ralph is on the phone with some accounts he wants to go over with you before Monday morning investments.” Corinne glances at me. “Boring business talk.” She rolls her eyes. “How was your trip down?”
“Good.” I glance at Jack.
“Let me take this really quick.” He takes the phone from Corinne and strides inside the building.
“Gosh, he is so dreamy. You really lucked out.” Corinne squeezes my arm.
“Hmm.” I purse my lips to the side. “Yes.”
“So have you set a date for the wedding?” Corinne cocks her head and stares at me.
I want to burst into tears. Are you serious? Even his office manager is asking me about this? Why don’t all these inquiring minds chat it up with Jack and bother him about when we will have a date?
“Er, not yet. We’ve both been so busy with work.” I open the door to the building. “I should really go and see my grandmother while I’m here.”
“Oh your grandmother is so lovely. I’ll tell Jack that’s where you went.”
“Thanks.” I head to the elevator and press the number two button.
My grandmother’s suite
is located right outside the elevator. I knock on her door. There is no response. I knock again. Still nothing. The door next to hers opens and a grey-haired lady sticks her head out.
“She’s down playing bingo.”
“Oh, okay…thank you.” I hit the elevator button again. I’ve been to Vintage Estates several times, but I’m not really familiar with the layout. As I exit the elevator, I saunter towards Jack’s office. I open the door, assuming he will be in the office on his own.
He is sitting at his desk with his pen and Corinne is leaning over the desk with her pen pointing out things. They seem to be in their own little world. Completely oblivious to me. Corinne says something and they both laugh.
I can’t do this. I close the door and rush to the exit. It’s time for me to go. I’m so sick, I feel like I’m going to vomit if I don’t get outside and into fresh air. Tears are filling my eyes so much I can’t see in front of me. I blink and wipe the streams falling down my face. I slam my body into my mom’s car and back out as fast as I can without causing an accident. This is my mom’s car after all.
I drive down the road with no real sense of where I’m going. I’m lost. I don’t know what to do. This is all too much for me. I hear two voices in my head—one saying I told you so, the other saying you’re overreacting. I slam my hand on the steering wheel. I didn’t want to do this. I tried not to fall for Jack. I didn’t want to have a long-distance relationship. I knew how difficult it would be, the commuting back and forth. But when he proposed over Christmas I assumed we wouldn’t be in a long-distance relationship. I assumed we would have picked a date and I was wrong. All wrong.
I pull the car into a nearby parking lot and let the tears roll down my face. My makeup is surely gone at this point. I should forget about it and let it all out. I sob for longer than I have in a while. I find some Kleenexes in my mom’s glove box and try and compose myself.
My phone is vibrating from my purse. I don’t want to talk to anyone right now. I’m too upset to have a conversation with anyone. I’m in a dark place emotionally. I was falling deep and before I assumed I was falling with Jack. Now it feels like I’m sitting in a deep abyss of emotions and I’m sinking deeper, on my own.