by Genna Denton
She laughed. Leave it to Gage to pick something completely unemotional, but she liked that about him. It was comforting that he’d listen to her problems if she needed him to, but if she didn’t want to talk, that was just as cool with him. He never, ever pried into her personal business unless he was sure she wanted him to know. When she was around Gage, she felt absolutely no pressure, no expectations. She could just be herself—even if she didn’t really know who that was yet. “Chicken Alfredo.”
Chapter Five: Wrong Signals
Alex sat beside Kay on the sofa. She nursed her beer as Alex took another shot of liquor. Next to them was a keg that people were constantly coming up to for more booze.
“I’m sorry my dad was so rude…you just kinda have to ignore him,” Kay said. “Ever since he got hurt, he’s been real bitter.”
“You should meet my dad.” Alex laughed. “Actually, your dad should meet my dad because I bet they would get a long great.”
“He can’t be that bad.”
“Oh, yeah? He tries to relive his glory days through me. Plus he’s my history teacher and my football coach.” Just thinking about his dad made him want to get smashed. He eyed Kay as she grabbed a shot off the table and downed it. Her brown hair fell in front of her face and she gently pushed it back.
“Oh man,” she laughed, “you can’t even get away from him at school!”
“Nope,” Alex said. “Makes for one miserable day. Every day.”
Kay took another huge gulp of her beer and Alex laughed at her. “What?”
“And I thought I could knock 'em back at parties.”
She shrugged. “It’s a guilty pleasure.”
A drunken jock stumbled up to the keg next to them and fumbled with the spout, trying to refill his red plastic cup.
“Need some help, man?” Alex asked.
“No, I-a got it,” the jock said, his voice heavy and slurred.
The jock finally hit the spout, breaking it off the keg, and sent beer spewing everywhere. Kay screamed as she and Alex scrambled to get out of dodge. Alex ducked into a hallway and grabbed Kay by the wrist, pulling her to him, landing Kay against a bedroom door. He lost his footing when another drunken teen bumped into him, causing him to fall against Kay. A little embarrassed, he put his hands on the door behind her. His face was still only inches from her, and his body was leaned into hers. His eyes traveled down her frame; the light pink baby-doll tee she wore was soaked in beer and he couldn’t help but notice how it clung tight to her body. Her hair was dripping wet. He gently pushed a few stray strands away from her pretty blue eyes and his own eyes fell on her lips. They curved into a soft smile as Alex leaned in for a kiss.
Kay wrapped her arms around Alex’s shoulders, and he wrapped his arms around her waist as they fell back against the door. Reaching past Kay, Alex twisted the doorknob to the bedroom. They backed into it and he kicked the door shut behind him.
Their lips barely parted for a second as they tumbled onto the bed. She fumbled with the buttons on his blue button up shirt while he unzipped her pink t-shirt and pulled it off her shoulders. His lips trailed to her neck. When her fingernails dug into his back, it almost made him go crazy. His lips anxiously delved back onto hers as he slid his hand under her shirt, feeling the soft skin of her stomach. He started to push her shirt over her head when his eyes landed on the reddish brown bruises on her abdomen. Her shirt landed on the floor, and he sat up on his knees, looking down at her.
Bruises covered her torso; it looked like someone had held her down while someone else used her body as a punching bag. “Kay, what the hell?”
Suddenly realizing what he saw, she scrambled out from under him and landed on the floor. He spotted more bruises on her back as she stood, grabbed her top, and slipped it back onto her slender body.
“Kay!”
“I was in a car accident last week,” she explained. “And I—I um—I still…”
“That’s a lie. What the hell’s going on? Who did this to you?” Unsure of what to do, he stayed at the foot of the bed. He wanted to reach out to her, but it felt wrong for some reason. “Who did this?”
“It’s not what you think,” she said, looking up into his eyes, and in them. He could see how worried she was.
“Really?” Alex said, his voice challenging no matter how hard he tried to soften it. “’Cause I think someone beat the hell out of you.”
Kay’s eyes searched Alex’s face; he didn’t know what she was looking for. “I—I have to go,” she stammered. She grabbed her hoodie and slid it back on, and before he could stop her, she darted out the door and disappeared into the crowd.
***
Ryder pulled his motorcycle up in front of Meagan’s house. She climbed off when he cut the engine. He hadn’t wanted to take her home yet. The night had flown by, and he just wanted it to last forever.
“I had a great time.” She bit down on her bottom lip as he stepped off the bike and moved closer to her.
“Me too.” He hadn’t had so much fun in a really long time. He looked down, trying to gather the courage for what he was about to say. Reaching out, he took her hand and laced his fingers through hers. “Maybe we could do it again sometime?”
She took a small step away from him and quickly dropped his hand.
Uh-oh, Ryder thought, maybe I got the signals wrong. “I’m sorry,” he said, “I—I guess I just thought…”
“No.” Meagan waved her hand to stop him from talking. She swallowed hard and forced a smile. “I’d love to do it again sometime, it’s just…” She paused for a minute and took a seat on one of the porch steps, motioning for Ryder to sit next to her. “I just can’t shake the feeling that you think I’m someone you need to rescue.”
Leaning his hand on the porch rail, he gazed down at her, wondering why she’d said such a thing. Sure, she had a point. The reason she’d caught his attention so much was that he got the sense she could use a friend. Still, he’d never expected to care about her so much, but it was a good thing. He needed someone to care about. “What’s so wrong with being rescued?”
She shivered, as if remembering something she wouldn’t share. “I think people should be self-sufficient, you know? Loneliness is stupid, and needing someone is even worse.”
“I’m going to let you in on a little secret.” Ryder cautiously took the seat next to her, resting his elbows on his knees as he looked over at her. “If you’re fortunate enough to have people in your life who’re willing to be there for you, you should let yourself need them. Because other people aren’t as lucky.”
A look crossed her face, as if she realized he was right. “I know I should. I’m not too good at trusting people, that’s all.” Her eyes glazed over as if her mind had traveled somewhere far away, to some heartbreaking memory. “I guess you could say I’ve had some…bad experiences in the past. With guys, I mean, and it’s made me…cautious.”
“Oh.” He let the silence settle over them as he waited for her to say more. “Did he break your heart or something?” he asked, and then immediately regretted it when he saw the pain-filled look slide across her face. He didn’t mean to hurt her feelings, didn’t mean to dredge up bad memories for her.
“Or something,” Meagan mumbled.
“I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.”
Meagan smiled softly and looked down. “It’s just not something I like to talk about,” she said. “But maybe someday I’ll tell you.”
He smiled at her, slipping his arm around her shoulders. “I’ll be here when you decide to open up.”
“You say that like you actually care.”
He gazed into her eyes. Why did she find it so hard to believe he cared about her? Couldn’t she see she had so much to offer? That a guy like Ryder, the boy who belonged to no one and had no family, could only be so lucky to be sitting here with a girl like Meagan, the girl who had everything she wanted and still wasn’t happy? “I do care.”
He wanted to kiss her, to take her in
his arms and show her how much he cared, but Meagan had her reservations, and he knew that whatever reason she had them was probably a good one.
***
Carmen jogged up the front steps of her sister’s home and let herself in the front door. Dropping her backpack in the foyer, she started upstairs to check her weight. She hadn’t eaten a bite in three days and hoped that’d help. Her stomach ached and growled almost constantly, but she wouldn’t give in. If she wanted to be happy, she needed to conquer those impulses. It was the only way.
“Carmen.” Renee’s voice sounded from the living room. “Can you come in here please?”
Her body went stiff at that tone. She sounded just like their mother—concerned, worried and stern. What was going on? Why wouldn’t Renee just leave her alone?
Reluctantly, she went into the living room, confused to see Daphne sitting on the couch beside Renee. They both looked worried and solemn, like they had bad news to give. Like Renee had looked when she told Carmen about her mother’s car accident.
Carmen lingered in the doorway. “What’s going on?”
“Have a seat, Carmen.” Daphne gestured to the recliner beside the couch. “Renee and I would like to talk to you about something.”
Her body still stiff and on alert, she sank into the overstuffed recliner. Renee reached into her purse and pulled out three bottles. Carmen recognized them as the empty diet pill bottles she’d thrown away yesterday and her heart began to pound. “I don’t mind if you take money from my purse. But if this is what you’re spending it on, we have a serious problem.”
Anger flared inside Carmen’s gut. Unstoppable, fierce, and hot anger. “You’ve been going through my stuff?”
“I was cleaning,” she said. “But that’s really not the point.”
“We’re concerned, Carmen. How long have you been taking dietary aids?” Daphne leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees and attempting to make eye contact.
Carmen looked away. “This is ridiculous…it’s not like I’m on crack or anything.”
“Drug abuse is drug abuse. But, we’re not so much concerned that you’re taking them; we’re worried about why you’re taking them,” Daphne said softly. “It’s common for people who feel like their life is out of control to try to take that control back somehow. That’s one of the main reasons drug addiction, promiscuity, and eating disorders manifest. I’m worried that by trying to take control of your life by focusing on your weight, you’re hurting yourself and depriving yourself of necessary nutrition that a girl your age needs. When was the last time you ate?”
“This morning,” she said, but when she looked at Daphne and her sister, she couldn’t keep up the lie. She burst into tears, and she didn’t know why she was crying, but they wouldn’t stop. “You have no idea what it’s like,” she sobbed. “My mom is gone. I lost my home and my family in the same day—and now I have to live here and try to pretend I’m okay when I’m not. It’s not like I don’t love you, Renee, but…you’re just not Mom. I can’t do it. I can’t live without her. And if I don’t focus on something, if I don’t keep my mind off of her, if I don’t work toward something, I’ll lose my mind.”
“It’s okay, Carmen. It’s going to be okay.” Renee wiped tears from her cheeks and swallowed hard. “We’re going to get you help.”
“What?” Her chest tightened as a sob hissed from her lungs.
“There’s a facility in Charlotte that specializes in eating disorders. Renee and I have made arrangements to take you there.”
“So I tell you how hurt I am and you’re sending me away?” Carmen stood from the chair, making it rock behind her. “You’re just going to dump me at some hospital?”
“No, honey, it’s not like that,” Renee stood up and latched on to Carmen’s arm. “You need help and group therapy isn’t working. I don’t know how else to help you.”
“It’s not a hospital,” Daphne said. “The Youth Center of Mental Health is a rehabilitation establishment that provides around-the-clock care and observation. They have a wonderful staff of counselors and nurses to help you whenever you need it. I worked there before I moved here to work for the Discover-U Center. I’m confident that they’ll be able to help you come to terms with your loss and teach you to manage your grief in productive and healthy ways. Renee and I are trying to do what’s best for you because we care about you.”
“I don’t care, I’m not going.” Carmen jerked away from Renee’s hold. “I’m not going!”
“You don’t have a choice,” Renee said, her voice firm. “I’m your legal guardian and this is my decision. I’ve already called them and told them you’re coming.”
“So I’ll run away!”
“I’ll call the police. You won’t get far.”
Carmen stared at Renee, unable to believe how decided and parental she looked. What a joke. Renee couldn’t care for a goldfish and now she was making decisions as a legal guardian? “I can’t believe you’re doing this.”
“I’m doing what I have to. You can hate me all you want, but it doesn’t change anything.” She reached down to the coffee table and grabbed a computer printout. “Here’s a list of things you’re allowed to have. You should go pack. We’re leaving in an hour.”
Carmen grabbed the list and looked it over. “You’re really going through with this?”
“I have to, Carmen. You’re hurting yourself and I can’t just look the other way. This is what’s best. This is what Mom would want.”
“It doesn’t matter what Mom would want. In case you haven’t noticed, she’s dead!”
Renee flinched at the words and clutched her hands into fists at her sides. “Carmen, I love you. That’s why I’m doing this. Someday, you’ll see that.”
“No, I won’t. I’ll go to your stupid hospital, but don’t think for one second I’m going to let them help me. And the second I turn eighteen, I’m out of here. Then I won’t ever have to see you again.”
“Well, you’ve still got three years to go. Until then, what I say goes. Got it?”
Carmen curled the sheet of paper into her fist and turned on her heel, storming up the stairs and slamming her bedroom door behind her. She couldn’t believe this. She finally opens up and tells them how she feels and they send her away? This was all because Renee had never wanted to take care of her in the first place. This was just an excuse not to deal with her. And if she didn’t think Carmen couldn’t see through it, then she was seriously mistaken.
***
Cradling Lizzie against her hip, Sarah walked into the apartment with a big smile on her face. “Thank you so much for letting her stay with us,” she said as she let Gage take Lizzie into his arms. “She was just adorable.”
“No problem.” Gage gave Lizzie a tight hug and then set her down in the playpen to get her something to drink. “I actually kind of had a decent enough time.”
“That’s relatively close to admitting I was right and you needed a break.” Sarah winked at him as she sat down on the couch. Spotting something, she leaned over to the other end and then sprang to her feet excitedly, the way she had when she was a kid and finally found a four leaf clover. “Is this yours?” she asked in a singsong voice as she pranced into the kitchen.
Gage turned from the refrigerator to see Sarah waving a pink scrunchie in his face.
He blushed on reflex because he knew Sarah would never let this go. “I know what you’re thinking and you’re wrong. Kelly’s just a friend.”
“Kelly, huh?” Sarah gave him a playful shove to the shoulder. “Is she the reason you had a good time last night?”
Shaking his head, Gage laughed as he took a cup of juice to Lizzie. “It wasn’t like that. We just hung out.”
“Here? You must like this girl if you’re letting her into your house. You hardly let me in here.” Grabbing his arm, Sarah took a good look at Gage’s face, her mouth dropping in an excited gasp. “Gage, you’re blushing! You’ve got a thing for this girl.”
“As muc
h as I’d love to continue this girl talk,” Gage said, turning to lean his hands on the table. “I need to talk to you about a certain brother of ours.”
Sarah’s excited expression fell into one of concern. “Cole? What about him?”
“I found him sleeping in the park, so I asked around.” He pulled out his chair and sat down, motioning for Sarah to take the other. “According to Shane and a few of the old guys, Cole’s been partying pretty hard for the last year or more.”
“He’s fifteen.”
“Remember what I was like at fifteen?” Gage shivered as he remembered the party phase of his life.
“I knew this was gonna happen.” Sighing, Sarah sank into the open chair. Leaning her elbow on the table, she rested her forehead in her palm. “Do Mom and Dad know?”
“I have no idea. I doubt it.”
She shook her head, the worry evident on her face. “There’s no telling what it’s like there. I wonder if Mom and Dad still fight all the time.”
“Of course they do, they’re Mom and Dad.”
“Well, shouldn’t we do something? Like, go talk to them? He could ruin his life if he keeps up with that behavior.”
“I was kinda hoping you would talk to them.”
She sighed, shaking her head at him. “Look, I know things have been rocky with them ever since…”
“Always,” he said, raking a hand through his hair. “Since always. It only got worse after I got Peyton pregnant…and even worse after what she did.”
“I know, but you’ve got to face them some time.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Do you want to help Cole or not?”
“Of course I do, but…”
“But nothing. We’ll go tomorrow around lunch, okay? Hopefully catch Mom alone. It’ll be easiest that way.”