Coming Clean (From the Damage)

by Genna Denton

  “But what about Mom and Dad?”

  “I’ll take care of that.”

  ***

  Kay shivered in the cold as she jumped down from her bedroom window. She had gotten the routine down a long time ago. She would climb down the trellis that led up to her window. When the trellis stopped, she would hop off then walk in the shadows until she crossed the street to Zander’s house. She crossed the pavement and sunk into the shadows of the trees that lined her best friend’s house.

  When she walked around the back, she saw the familiar path she’d always taken to get up to his room. His room was a lot easier to climb in than hers was to climb out of. She found herself automatically climbing the steps to his old tree house. When she was up high enough, she stepped onto the roof of the back porch then gently tapped on Zander’s window.

  She could see him through the window. He was at his desk doing his homework. Zander had always been good in school; it made Kay jealous at times. She quickly reached up to her lip to make sure the cut hadn’t opened up again, but it had and she wiped the blood away fast as Zander came to the window. He opened it and extended his hand to hers.

  “Kay, what the hell?” Zander asked as she climbed in the window. He saw her fatigued expression, her busted lip, her red face. All telltale signs of a fight with her father. Her foot caught on his window seat and she tumbled the rest of the way in, her shirt riding up in the back. She wondered if he saw the bruises that had probably formed on her back by now. Of course he did; Zander never missed anything.

  She sat down on the edge of his bed and Zander draped a throw blanket over her shoulders. “You must get so tired of this,” she said finally.

  “No, you know I’ll always be here for you…I just wish…I wish you didn’t have to go through this,” Zander said gently as he sat down next to her.

  Kay pulled the blanket tighter around her and fixed her gaze on a picture of the two of them on his dresser. “Sometimes I think it’d be better if I never went home at all. Maybe they’d just forget about me…ya know. Like maybe, he wouldn’t notice…if I just never went back…” She looked at Zander, his face filled with concern, compassion and sympathy. She hated the thought that he felt sorry for her.

  “Zand, do you think I could—” Kay started, but at the same time, Zander was saying, “Kay, you know you can—”

  They both laughed as Zander went to his closet and spread a sleeping bag out on his floor. Kay slid her shoes off and leaned back against his headboard, crossing her legs. Zander sat across from her in the same fashion.

  “So,” he said, “what happened?

  Kay reached up to her busted lip again and winced at the pain. “I don’t even know. It just happened…I must have deserved it bad this time.”

  Zander stared at her, his eyes wide and honest. “You don’t deserve it anytime, Kay.” He put his hand on her knee when she looked down. “I mean it, you don’t deserve this.”

  She weakly smiled at him, trying to hide the tears that were building up behind her eyes, the sobs that crept up her throat. All her effort couldn’t stop the few tears that slid down her cheeks. “I’m gonna go get you a soda, I’ll be right back,” Zander said. She nodded with another smile.

  When he was gone, Kay laid her head back against the headboard. She heaved a big sigh as the beating she had just taken replayed in her mind. She closed her eyes tightly and tried to think of something else. She suddenly felt cold all over and climbed under his comforter.

  Zander entered the doorway with their sodas, a bowl of microwave popcorn and an ice pack balanced in his hands. “Ooh, popcorn!” she exclaimed. She could live off the stuff. “You know me so well.”

  “I figured you hadn’t eaten since school today.” He set the drinks down and handed her the bowl. She gladly retrieved it from his hands and scooted over on the bed; he sat down next to her.

  She snatched a bite out of the bowl and popped it into her mouth. “You figured right.” She leaned back and felt a sharp pain shoot through her body, originating from a place near her shoulder blade. “Ow,” she cried.

  “What? What happened?”

  “I just leaned against the headboard a little hard. I think I have a bruise back here.” She rubbed the back of her shoulder as far as she could reach.

  Zander seized a pillow from the floor and placed it under her shoulders. She leaned back and relaxed her body. That feels better, she thought.

  “You have a nasty shiner too.” He said grabbed the ice pack on the table next to him.

  “On no, really?” She reached up to feel it and grimaced in pain. He gently held the ice pack to her eye.

  “Here,” he said tenderly, “this should help.”

  Kay looked up at her friend. She looked into his eyes and saw nothing but kindness and care. “Why are you so good to me?”

  Zander smiled at her. “Because you’re my best friend,” he said softly. “And I care about you.”

  Kay couldn’t take it anymore. She threw her arms around his torso and burst into tears. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “I can’t take it anymore, Zand,” she bellowed. “I—I can’t!” She looked him in the eyes. “It never stops. I just want it to stop.”

  “Hey, hey,” he said, his voice calm. With his soothing touch, he wiped away her tears, just like he’d done so many times before. Zander could always comfort

  her, always make her feel safe. “It’ll be okay.” He placed one hand on each shoulder. “I have an idea.”

  Chapter Eight: Girlfriend

  Kay dabbed another pound of foundation on to cover up her black eye. She’d done this a million times before; it was almost easy. She sighed, looking at the finished product. It’ll do, she thought. She stuffed the makeup back in her purse and walked out the bathroom door headed for the cafeteria. She walked through the heavy wooden doors and scanned the crowded room for Zander. She smiled as she saw him through the crowd, but when she drew closer, her smile faded. He was sitting with someone—a girl. His arms were draped over her shoulders and her body was leaned in close to his. She was pretty with longish chestnut brown hair and an even tan. Kay tried to shake away the jealous feeling creeping up inside her. There was no reason to be jealous.

  “Hey,” Kay said as she sat down across from Zander. Zander‘s posture stiffened and he sat up straighter. “Zand, aren’t ya gonna introduce me to your friend?”

  “Oh, Kay, this is Shiri. Shiri, Kay,” Zander said, pointing from one to the other.

  “Hi,” Shiri said, holding out her hand to shake Kay’s. Kay shook her hand then quickly pulled it back.

  “Hi,” Kay returned.

  An awkward silence fell upon them. Kay tapped her nails nervously against the table. “So…Zander, are we still doing that thing tonight?” she said, trying to sound discreet.

  Zander looked at Shiri. “Of course. We’re gonna have to do the movie another night,” Zander said. “I forgot I already made plans with Kay. That cool?”

  He forgot? Kay thought, Zander never forgot about her or their plans. And what was up with him asking her if it was okay?

  “Yeah, totally,” Shiri said. Kay didn’t know what bothered her more, the fact that Zander practically asked her permission, or that she was totally okay with it. Why was this girl getting so under her skin?

  “Yeah, we’re on. I’ll drive you after school,” Zander said.

  “Okay, well, I’ll meet you at our lockers,” Kay said, standing.

  “Whoa, Kay, where are you going?” Zander asked.

  “I have some stuff to do…I’ll catch you guys later.” She made a quick exit for the door. She couldn’t stand to see her best friend with that girl. She ran out the doors and down the hall toward the exit and slammed right into Ryder, knocking them both down.

  “Whoa, Landers,” Ryder said, standing back up and extending his hand to Kay to help her up. “Where’s the fire?”

  “The cafeteria, actually,” Kay said, straightening out her clothing. “In the form of Zand
er and a bimbo.”

  Whoa, did I just say that out loud? she thought.

  “That’s a little bitter,” Ryder laughed. “I always knew you and Zander were hot for each other.”

  “What? We-we’re not…” Kay said.

  “Wow, that’s convincing. Let me ask you something, if you’re not into him, then why do you care if he’s with somebody else?” Ryder asked as he circled around her, getting ready to leave.

  “I--I don’t…” Kay thought for a second. “I don’t know…”

  “Right.” Ryder gently slapped her shoulder. “That means you’re into him.” With that, he turned and walked away.

  “But I—”She’d never thought of Zander like that before. Was she into him?

  ***

  Kay shifted uncomfortably in the passenger seat of Zander’s car. He looked over at her, “You okay?” he asked before returning his eyes to the road.

  “Yeah…just nervous I guess,” Kay admitted.

  “Well, don’t be, this will help.”

  “Where’d you get this idea anyway?” She rolled down the window to Zander’s pickup truck.

  “Um…” Zander said, and Kay gave him the tell-me-or-pay look. He cleared his throat. “Alex came to see me.”

  Kay’s brow narrowed in confusion, “Alex who—” She started before she realized it had to be Alex Walker. “Alex Walker…from my support group?”

  “Yeah, that’s the one…he told me about what happened…” He hesitated. “Between you guys, and said he saw the bruises on you and wanted to know if I knew anything about it…”

  “You didn’t tell him, did you?” Kay asked, her heart pounding at the thought. Zander fixed his gaze on the road. Kay knew what that meant. “For crying out loud, Zander! That was private!”

  “He tracked me down; he cornered me,” Zander said defensively. “And if you ask me, I think it’s a little too private.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means your father shouldn’t be able to use you for a punching bag and if you don’t do something about it then I will! And while we’re on the subject, why’d you totally bail on Alex? You won’t even talk to him?”

  “You guys had quite the conversation, didn’t ya?” Kay shot back.

  “Well, he’s worried about you so he evidently cares. I’ve seen this a dozen times, Kay. Why is it you can sleep with anybody, but the second somebody shows they have feelings for you, you run like the wind?”

  “Okay, you are way out of line, Zander.”

  He slammed on his brakes and pulled the car over, sending it to a jerking stop. Turning to her, cheeks flushed red, he slammed the gear-stick into park. “I’m what?” he demanded. “I’m out of line?”

  Kay glared over at him. He looked more pissed then she’d ever seen him. This is all her fault, she thought. Shiri’s turned Zander against me.

  “Who’s the guy who lent you money for your medicine when you got an STD from one of those random college assholes? Who’s been letting you climb in and out of his bedroom window when you’ve been beaten to a bloody pulp by your father? Who let you cry on his shoulder and who’s wiped the blood from your face when you can barely stand to move? Who’s kept your secret for seven years, Kay?” Zander shook his head in disbelief. “You want to tell me I’m out of line? Because why? Because I finally called you on something?”

  “Why are you so angry at me?” She fought the urge to cry, but she could still feel the buildup of tears; her nerves had been on end all day already. This wasn’t helping.

  “Because I’ve seen you go through guy after guy and nobody has ever bothered to track me down and ask what’s going on. They had to have seen them and they didn’t care.” Zander sighed. “Alex did. I don’t know…I just got the feeling that he cares about you as more than just a friend, but you won’t give him a chance. Ya know, and it made me realize you’ve never given anybody a chance.”

  “Zander, Alex is still in love with his ex-girlfriend,” Kay said. “And is this coming from you or Shiri?”

  “Shiri?” His eyes widened. “What does she have to do with this?”

  Kay crossed her arms. “You tell me. You never lashed out at me like this before you started dating her. Speaking of Shiri, how long have you been dating her?”

  Zander laughed. “Oh my God, are—are you jealous?”

  “No!” Kay scoffed. “It would have just been nice to know my best friend was dating somebody, that’s all.”

  He looked away with a big grin on his face and Kay could tell he didn’t believe her about not being jealous. “Shiri and I started dating about five weeks ago, and I didn’t mention it before because you have enough going on.”

  She shook her head. “I always have a lot going on. That doesn’t mean I don’t wanna hear about what’s going on with you.”

  “Okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to find out like that.” His voice softened. “You know it’s not gonna change us, right?”

  “Yeah, of course,” she scoffed.

  He put his hand on the side of her face and made her look at him. “I mean it, Kay, it’s not gonna change our friendship.”

  “I know that…”

  “Good because we both know nobody could take your place…you wouldn’t let them.” He laughed.

  “Ha ha, very funny.”

  He started driving again, heading toward their destination. After a minute, Kay spoke, her words soft and fragile. “It’s because you’re the only guy I can trust.”

  Zander squinted in confusion. “Huh?”

  “The reason I never give anybody a chance, the reason I run like the wind, or so you say…the reason you’re the only one I’ve ever let in…it’s because you’re the only one I can trust. The only person I do trust…and I like you being that guy for me. I don’t want anything to change that.”

  He smiled as he started the truck and turned onto Main Street. “I like being that guy for you,” he said gently. He slowed the car to a stop and pushed the gear stick up into park. He smiled at her. “We’re here, are you ready?”

  Kay looked at the big brick building. The front was lined with glass and a black sign with big red letters that read Southport Self-Defense, don’t be a victim any longer. Kay took a deep breath and opened the car door. “I’m ready.”

  Chapter Nine: Revelations

  Daphne sat next to Brett at the next group meeting. She tapped her pen nervously against her clip board. “You know, I’ve been thinking a lot lately,” she said with a reassuring smile. “You guys are probably going think it’s funny, but I was thinking about how people are like clocks.”

  Gage snickered sarcastically. “Clocks?”

  “Yes, there’s something that makes us tick, and we just go around and around in a circle until something makes us stop. When a clock breaks, both the hands stop. They stop moving forward. That’s kind of what’s happened with you guys. Something made you stop moving forward, stop really living.” She looked around the circle, making eye contact with everyone as she talked. “And the hands of your clocks are frozen on one tragic moment in time.”

  A serious silence fell upon the group and Daphne knew she’d struck a nerve. “What we hope to do is help you face that moment that has you guys so sad…so broken, and help you fix it. You know, you guys are young, handsome, beautiful, funny, intelligent boys and girls. Some bad things have happened, but you have to learn to move on and live your life. You have so much ahead of you.”

  “That’s a really good analogy,” Carmen said.

  Daphne smiled. “Thank you, Carmen.”

  Alex looked down and swallowed hard. “My father is really controlling, like really controlling,” he began. “He’s always wanted me to be the best I can be, the best football player I can be. He’s had a plan for me since day one, pee-wee football, then JV, then varsity, then college and hopefully pro. There’s never been a lot of flexibility. When I told him Kelly was pregnant…well, that just wasn’t a part of his plan. He said it would r
uin my future, ruin my life if Kelly had the baby.” His voice started breaking, and everyone was completely silent while listening to Alex’s confession. “He talked to me for hours and hours every day, giving me a hundred reasons why I should make Kelly end the pregnancy. He said it would be better for me and her if I could talk Kelly into it.”

  A tear slid down Alex’s cheek and he quickly wiped it away. Kelly looked like she was going to burst into tears. This was obviously something she’d never heard.

  “He said it didn’t matter how much I loved her, or how much I wanted the baby, it would be a mistake to have it. It, like the baby was just a thing. He said I should stop at nothing to force Kelly’s hand; so I did…I told her that I would tell her parents she was on drugs, that she cheated in school, that she slept around…I mean the things that came ou—out of my mouth, I…” Alex choked out the words. “It was like I didn’t even really know what was going on until it was over. By then our baby was dead and Kelly was looking at me with such disdain I couldn’t bear to look at her…so I ended it. I never wanted to look back. I was hoping I could be like my father and just not care, but that’s not what happened.” He gazed over at Kelly. Her head was hung and her hair blocked her face. “I’m so sorry, Kelly.”

  She looked up, her cheeks stained with tears, her eyes watery and full of betrayal. She stood. “You’re sorry? You ruined my life because you’re daddy told you to and now what…you want my forgiveness?”

  She shoved past him. “Kelly, wait,” he said, grabbing her arm.

  She jerked it away. “Let go of me!” He loosened his grip, keeping his gaze on her as she stormed out of the door.

  “Way to go, Walker,” Gage said with a sneer.

  “I’m sorry…I was just trying to be honest.”

  “Don’t be sorry,” Brett said. “Alex, you don’t ever have to be sorry for opening up in here.”

  “Every day I wish I could change what happened,” Alex said. “I wake up thinking, maybe this is the day I’ll get a second chance. This is the day I’ll stand up to my dad. This is the day I’ll get Kelly to forgive me. But, no matter what, at the end of the day, I’m still alone.”