The One That Slipped Away

by LaShawn Vasser

Thinking about where she was at that point in her life, reminded her of the letter Harrison had given her earlier. While Mia was pretty sure whatever was written in it went up in smoke the moment her secret was revealed, she was still interested in what he’d said.

  Mia got up from out of bed and went over to her purse on her dresser. She pulled the worn letter out and took it back over to the bed. As she sat down, Mia turned on the light. She held it in her hands afraid of what it might say, and what it wouldn’t say.

  She took a deep breath and took a pen off of her nightstand to slice the top of the envelope open. Slowly, she pulled the letter out and sat back on her bed to read it. Immediately, she recognized Harrison’s handwriting.

  Mia,

  I’ve tried to write this letter so many times. Each time it seems I’m never able to find the right words to say “I’m sorry.” Those two words don’t seem adequate for everything that you’ve been through over this past year. There’s so much to apologize for.

  Before I get into that, I need you to know that no one has ever owned my heart but you. The day we met in that student lab was it for me, even when I didn’t want to admit it to myself. It was always you. The one I wanted to grow old with, start a family with, and build a life with.

  It’s no excuse for my behavior. Everything was all my fault, but when my father died, a part of me died with him. I felt as if the weight of the world was on my shoulders. I was angry because I didn’t know how to deal with it, and the one person I’d go to for advice was no longer there. I’m sure you can understand; my father was my best friend, hero, and the one I looked up to most on this earth.

  My mother was so used to my father taking care of her and suddenly at twenty-three years old, I was thrust into that role. Not only for her but for you too. I was overwhelmed but trying to be ‘a man.' You know how it goes, real men don’t complain, they just do what they have to do for their family. I won’t go into feeling the pressure of stepping into my father’s shoes at Haughton Telecom. My carefree college days were gone.

  I knew that you were struggling with the move to Chicago. I guess it was easier to pretend the problem didn’t exist than to deal with it. It took me awhile to realize that you were right. My mother and some of my friends were trying to manipulate me when it came to you. My mother and her best friend had this silly hope that Liberty and I would get back together. When I overheard a conversation between the three of them about how they did what they had to do to get you out of my life, I can’t explain to you how angry I was. I felt like a fool. It shouldn’t have taken that happening for me to believe you. I should have listened in the first place.

  Josiah once gave me some advice. He told me never to put anyone before you. I promise if you ever give me a second chance, I’ll always put you first.

  I made the biggest mistake with Alexandria. I won’t lie to you or insult your intelligence by telling you that I didn’t think about having a full-fledged affair. I did. There was a part of me that just needed to escape it all. She was it. She wasn’t tied to my friends, family, or my life. I viewed Alexandria as an escape until I saw the look on your face after you came to visit my office that day. I hurt you, after promising I’d always take care of you. I would have rather hurt myself. I let Alexandria go the very next day.

  Mia, I don’t deserve another chance, but I know we can work it out if you could find it in your heart to allow me back into your life. I wish I wouldn’t have let you go, and I promise, I’ll spend the rest of our forevers trying to make up for every hurt I’ve ever caused you.

  I love you and I always will,

  Harrison.

  By the time Mia finished reading the letter, it was filled with her tears. She crushed it to her heart. Had she read it back then, maybe things would be different now.

  That was six years ago. The reality now is that Harrison would probably never forgive her.

  Chapter 30

  “Mom, Dad . . . I’m here.” Mia used her key to open the front door and stepped inside her parent’s home.

  Her mother responded. “We’re in the family room.”

  When Mia entered Autumn and her father were sitting on the floor playing a board game. She spoke. “Hey, guys.” Both her father and Autumn shushed her.

  Her mother rolled her eyes. “You know they are serious about that game.”

  “I hate to interrupt, but we’ve got to go. We’re picking Harrison up from the airport.”

  Her mother huffed. “It’s one thing to let him back into your life, but how you could risk Autumn’s is a mystery to me. We did our best to protect you from him, and yet here he is, still in our lives.”

  Her father nodded and looked up at Mia. “If he hurts this little girl, I’m going to do what I’ve wanted to do for a long time.”

  Mia was pissed. She tossed her purse down on the sofa. “Autumn, get up, and go get your things.”

  She whined. “But, moooom.”

  Mia raised her voice. “I said NOW, Autumn.”

  Everyone in the room looked up at her in surprise. Autumn had never seen her mom this angry, so she hopped up off the floor and left the room.

  Mia put her hands on hips as she paced back and forth in front of her parents. Her father got up off the floor and looked at her as if she’d lost her mind while he dusted off his khaki’s. “Was that necessary?”

  She glared at her mom and dad. “What did you mean, you tried your best to protect me from Harrison?”

  Avery looked away and wouldn’t make eye contact.

  “Mom, what did you do?” Mia enunciated every word.

  “After you moved, Harrison thought you’d moved back here with us. He didn’t know you first lived with Sheena. He may have called a couple of times for you.”

  Mia narrowed her eyes. Her voice hitched. “He called me, and you didn’t give me the messages? Did he send a letter too?”

  Avery tried to plead her case. “We were only looking out for you, Mia! No, I didn’t give you the messages, and I returned the letter back to him.”

  “Looking out for me?” She placed her hand over her heart. “How can you say that? It wasn’t your place to make that decision! If the tables were turned and this was you and dad, how would you feel? He was your choice, mom. YOURS! Harrison was mine. I wanted that relationship. I wanted with all of my heart for it to work.”

  Ellis spoke up. “Mia, your mother and I only did what we thought was best.”

  “Dad, you and I, we weren’t even speaking at the time. Both of you abandoned me because you didn’t like my choices.” Her voice was raspy. “I would never, and I mean never do that to Autumn.”

  Her parents were ashamed. They honestly hadn’t realized how controlling they’d been until now.

  Ellis and Avery silently acknowledged the truth between the two of them, but he said it out loud. “She’s right. We owe her an apology. There’s nothing anyone could have said to keep you out of my life, and from making you my wife, Avery.” He turned to his only child. “Mia, I’m sorry.”

  Avery nodded in agreement. Her eyes had welled up with tears. “So am I. We never meant to hurt you. We’d only hoped to show you how serious we were. It killed us being estranged from our only daughter.”

  Mia was angry, but they were her parents. She loved them, but she had to draw a line in the sand and make them understand that they couldn’t cross it. “I have to set up some ground rules when it comes to my life, or you won’t be in it. It’s as simple as that.” Mia counted on her fingers. “Rule number one, you will not talk badly about Harrison in front of Autumn. Like it or not, he is her father. Scratch that, you won’t talk badly about him at all because I don’t want to hear it either. Rule number two, I never told him about Autumn, but over these past six months, he’s done everything to try a build a real relationship with her. You may not like him, and that’s your right, but if you want Autumn and me in your life, you’re going to have to get over whatever ‘white boy’ hang-ups you have. You two have a biracial granddau
ghter that you seem to love regardless of the fact. And, rule number three . . . I don’t know what it is yet, but when I do, I expect you to abide by it. Do you understand me?”

  Her parents were stunned at Mia’s tone and rules, but both responded. “Yes.”

  “Good.”

  Mia dropped down in a chair next to her mother. “Look, I know that you two did the best that you could in raising me. Even when you were flat out wrong. But, if I do say so myself, I didn’t turn out so bad. The problem is I don’t want Autumn picking up on the mixed messages you’re sending even if you don’t realize it. She’s both black and white.”

  Her father responded. “We know that.”

  “That’s good to know that you do, but let me let you in on some things you may not have known. It took me a long time to get comfortable in the skin I’m in and to accept myself.

  “I know you didn’t mean it, but you always told me to be proud of my blackness except for when I wanted to immerse myself in black culture. Then, it became this or that was too black. You can’t say, one thing and do another. Or, say I couldn’t do this or that because of those kids when those kids seemed to always look like me and not expect me to be confused.

  “Gaaawwd. I had such a hard time growing up around people who didn’t understand me and some who just didn’t want to. Then, on the rare chance I’d get to hang out with the black side of my family, I was always the odd kid out. The one who was trying to act white when all I was trying to do was be me. Mom, you remember, it was after that one Fourth of July we spent over at Aunt Renee’s that I started my natural hair phase. I wanted to practice being black so the next time we visited, my family would want to play with me, or at the very least, not think I was odd. I don’t want that for Autumn. I want her to love all of herself. I want her to be comfortable around my family as well as Harrison’s. I will protect her at all costs even if that means protecting her from your biases.”

  Her mother lowered her eyes. “We didn’t know . . . we thought we were doing what was best for you.”

  Mia placed her hand on her mother’s hand. “I know, but I’m telling you this, so you don’t make the same mistakes. There’s no manual for this parenting thing. We all make them. I can only hope and pray that my mistakes with Autumn don’t last a lifetime.”

  Avery Jamison placed her hands on top of Mia’s. “If I’ve never told you this, you’re a fantastic mom and woman.” She looked at her husband who nodded his agreement. “We’re both so proud of you.”

  Tears started to trickle down her face. She whispered. “Thank you.” That was the first time she’d ever heard her mother say she was proud of her.

  Avery reached out and pulled Mia into a tight hug. They rocked back and forth until they felt another stronger pair of arms surround them. It was her father. “Your mother’s right. We couldn’t be more proud of the woman you’ve become.”

  Through tears, Mia responded. “Thanks, Daddy.”

  Avery broke the embrace. “Well, now that you’ve put us in our place and shown us the error of our ways, I can promise you we’ll try. Old habits die hard, but it would kill us if you and Autumn weren’t a part of our lives. There’s no time like the present to put lessons into practice. If you have time this weekend, maybe you, Harrison, and Autumn can drop by for dinner. If he’s not ready and has reservations, maybe we can have a short visit for dessert.”

  Mia looked wistful. “I don’t know. I can ask, but when he’s here, his focus is solely on Autumn.”

  Ellis scrunched up his face. “I don’t know whatever the hell rule I’m breaking, but Harrison’s an even bigger fool than I thought if he doesn’t take this opportunity to win back his family.”

  Avery agreed. “My daughter is a prize. He’d better get it together before someone else comes along and snatches you up.”

  Autumn barreled into the room grinning from ear to ear. “I’m ready. Let’s go get daddy!”

  Chapter 31

  Harrison had been anticipating spending time with Autumn, and if he were honest, Mia, all week. He hoisted his carry-on bag over his shoulder as he walked through the airport. Over the past six months, he’d had a chance to calm down and try to put himself in her shoes. She’d made a mistake, a big mistake, but so had he and Harrison was ready to let it all go.

  As he walked out into the terminal, the first faces he saw were Autumn’s and Mia’s. Autumn came running toward him at full speed. He swept her up into his arms and kissed her on the cheek. There was nothing better than feeling her wrap her tiny little arms around his neck.

  “Hey, I missed you.”

  “I missed you too, Daddy.”

  Mia smiled as they walked towards her. She was happy to see how close they’d grown, but there was a tiny part of her that wished she could be a part of their private party. Unfortunately, it was a private party of two, and she hadn’t been invited. Every now and again, she’d get to have a meal or something with them, but usually, their time was just that . . . their time.

  Harrison spoke. “Hey.”

  “Hey. Autumn was so excited that she didn’t want to wait in the car, so we decided to meet you here.”

  His smile was warm. “It was a nice surprise.”

  There was something in his eyes that was different from the last time Mia had seen him. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but it was good.

  “I’m starving. I know little Ms. can eat pizza every day of her life. How about the three of us go grab a pizza somewhere and sit down to eat?”

  Mia raised her eyebrows in surprise that he would ask her to join them. “I-I’d like that a lot.”

  *****

  It was after nine o’clock when they finally made it home from The Pizza Stop. Autumn ate until she was about to burst, and then played the games until she was ready to pass out from exhaustion.

  Autumn fell asleep in the car before they were out of the parking lot. As they drove, Mia found herself sneaking peeks of Harrison while he was on his phone. His fingers were busy moving, and she wondered who he was talking to—if maybe it was a woman. She had no right to wonder. He was single, and a very attractive man.

  She broke the silence. “I can drop you at your hotel if you want.”

  He looked up into her eyes. “I’m only here for the weekend. I look forward to putting Autumn to bed. I’ll call a Lift to take me over after I’m done.”

  Mia nodded her head.

  Harrison bent his head low and continued to do whatever he was doing on his phone.

  After they had arrived at Mia’s home, Harrison carried Autumn into the house and put her to bed while Mia undressed her. After finishing, they went out into the living room.

  Mia said without thinking. “Teamwork makes the dream work.”

  He laughed. “My mom used to say that when I was a boy.”

  Mia walked into that one. Now, she had to do the polite thing. “How is your mom?”

  His lips briefly turned downward, and his head tilted from side to side. “Mom’s mom. She’s the same.”

  Mia couldn’t imagine what Catherine had to say about her when Harrison told her about Autumn. She didn’t know how to respond to that. “Mothers are interesting people, mine especially.” Mia laughed nervously. “As a matter of fact, she asked if you’d like to come over for dinner or dessert while you’re here this time.”

  Harrison lifted an eyebrow. “Your mother? Dr. Avery Jamison?”

  “Yep. One and the same. My father too.”

  “Is it some kind of murder plot?” He said it only half-jokingly.

  The corners of her own lips edged up a little. “No. It was a legitimate invitation.”

  “Wow. Hell has completely frozen over.”

  “I know I thought the same thing, but after I laid down the rules, I think we have a better understanding.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck. “I had to do the same with my mother. She’s dying to meet Autumn. They’ve talked on video-chat, but this little girl already has her own bedro
om full of clothing waiting for her.”

  Mia pressed her lips together. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to let Harrison take Autumn on a plane so far away from her. She knew it would happen eventually, and when he asked she would have to be ready.

  Harrison checked his watch.

  She pulled her hair behind her ear. “Sorry if I’m keeping you away from something.” She couldn’t help but think maybe someone.

  “No, not at all. I’ve been talking back and forth with Josiah about something, and he was supposed to text me about ten minutes ago.” He picked up his phone. “Damn. It’s dead. I guess that’s why he didn’t text.”

  Mia pointed over her back. “You can use my phone if you like.” Harrison went over to where Mia showed him and made a couple of calls. She stayed out of the way to give him some privacy. When he emerged from her home office, he was a little irritated.

  Mia knew immediately. “What’s wrong?”

  “It’s a two-hour wait for an Oober, and a two and half hour wait for a Lift.”

  “Well, if you’d like, to kill some time, we can pop in a movie?”

  Harrison appeared to reluctantly agree.

  Mia put in a movie, opened a bottle of wine, and they sat on the couch. It was quiet and uncomfortable at first.

  It had been a long time since the two of them had just hung out. Mia was a little nervous. She tried to think of something to break the ice. “Do you ever hear from Big Tony and those guys?”

  He laughed. “All the time. He’s getting married next year.”

  “Shut up.” Surprised, she laughed. “I don’t believe it. I’d never thought he was the settling down kind of guy.”

  “Me either. I thought we’d be married way before him.” The laughter in the room slowly died.

  Mia stared into her glass of wine. “Me, too.”

  Harrison looked straight ahead as if his question didn’t mean anything. “Did you ever read my letter?”

  Mia swallowed. “Yes.” She sounded wistful. “I didn’t see it back then. Who knows what our lives would look like today.”