The Boat-wreck

by Rabindranath Tagore

  Ramesh was astonished when he set his eyes upon her. He seemed to be looking at her for the first time. She had changed extraordinarily in the past few months, developing like a slender vine with fresh leaves. Where was the plumpness of the growing village girl bursting with health? Her round face had lengthened to lend her a unique personality, her cheeks had shed their previous dark sheen to turn soft and fair, her movements were no longer awkward. When she entered the room today and stood by the open window, a slender figure with her face turned away, the midday light of autumn falling on her face, her head not covered with the end of her sari, her long hair tied with a red ribbon falling down her back, her pale yellow Merino sari wrapped tightly around her blossoming frame, Ramesh gazed at her for a while and fell silent.

  Kamala’s beauty had faded to a pale shadow in Ramesh’s mind over the past few months, but its new bloom today left him gasping. He had not been prepared for this.

  ‘Sit down, Kamala,’ said Ramesh.

  Kamala sat down on a stool. ‘Are you making good progress at school?’ asked Ramesh.

  ‘Quite,’ answered Kamala with utter brevity.

  Ramesh wondered what to say next. Suddenly it occurred to him to say, ‘You must be starving. Your meal is ready. Shall I ask for it to be fetched here?’

  Kamala said, ‘No need, I’ve eaten already.’

  ‘Won’t you have something?’ Ramesh said. ‘If you don’t want sweets there’s some fruit – apples, pears, pomegranate…’

  Kamala shook her head without a word.

  Ramesh glanced at her again. Kamala was sitting with her face lowered, leafing through the pictures in her English textbook. A lovely face can arouse the hidden beauty around itself like a magic wand. The autumn light suddenly came alive, the October day seemed to acquire a form of its own. Just as the centre of the circle commands the circumference, so too did this young woman draw the sky and wind and light to herself – and yet, knowing none of this, she went on looking at the pictures in her book.

  Ramesh quickly fetched a plate of apples, pears and pomegranate. ‘I see you don’t intend to eat, Kamala,’ he said, ‘but I’m hungry, I cannot wait.’

  Kamala smiled. This sudden smile dispelled most of the fog gathered in the light.

  Ramesh proceeded to slice the apples with a knife. But he was singularly clumsy when it came to using his hands. Highly amused by the keenness of his appetite and the raggedness of his attempts, the young woman broke into peals of laughter.

  Pleased by this outburst of mirth, Ramesh said, ‘So you’re laughing because I cannot slice the fruit properly? Very well, let me see how good you are at it.’

  ‘I can use a blade in the kitchen, not a knife,’ said Kamala.

  ‘You think I don’t have one?’ He summoned the servant. ‘Do we have a blade in the kitchen?’

  ‘We do,’ the servant replied. ‘All the arrangements for dinner have been made.’

  The servant brought the blade in. Taking off her shoes, Kamala adjusted its angle on the wooden base and proceeded to peel the fruit and slice it perfectly, a smile on her face. Ramesh sat on the floor opposite her, arranging the slices on a plate.

  ‘You must have some too,’ he said.

  ‘No,’ replied Kamala.

  ‘Then I shan’t eat either,’ Ramesh told her.

  Raising her eyes to look at him, Kamala said, ‘All right, I’ll eat after you do.’

  ‘You’d better not go back on your word,’ said Ramesh.

  ‘I promise I won’t,’ said Kamala, shaking her head in all seriousness.

  Reassured, Ramesh put a slice of fruit into his mouth.

  But he stopped chewing suddenly when he saw Jogendra and Akshay standing outside the door.

  Akshay said, ‘Excuse us, Ramesh-babu, we had assumed you were here alone. It wasn’t right to have turned up without warning, Jogen. Let us wait downstairs.’

  Kamala left the room quickly. She had to go past the two men standing outside. Jogendra made room for her, but did not take his eyes away – he sized her up intently. Disconcerted, Kamala went into the other room.

  19

  ‘Who is this lady, Ramesh?’ asked Jogendra.

  ‘A relation,’ said Ramesh.

  ‘What sort of relation?’ said Jogendra. ‘Not a family elder, obviously. Nor did she seem to be a niece or a cousin. You’ve spoken about everyone in your family – but never about her.’

  Akshay said, ‘This is not fair, Jogen. Can’t a man have some secrets even from his friends?’

  ‘Well, Ramesh? Is it a deep secret?’ Jogendra asked.

  Ramesh turned red. ‘Yes, it is,’ he said. ‘I do not wish to discuss this young lady with you.’

  ‘Unfortunately, I do. Had there been no proposal for marriage between Hem and you, we would have had no need to go to such lengths to investigate your relationship with someone else – your secret would have remained a secret.’

  Ramesh said, ‘I can tell you this – I have no relationship with anyone that should prevent me from entering into a sacred bond with Hemnalini.’

  ‘Nothing may prevent you but some things may prevent Hemnalini’s family. Let me ask you something – whatever your relationship with this woman may be, what is the need to keep it secret?’

  ‘It would no longer be a secret if I were to answer that. You’ve known me since childhood – you must trust me without asking questions.’

  ‘Is her name Kamala or not?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Have you introduced her to people as your wife or not?’

  ‘I have.’

  ‘And yet we have to trust you? You wish to inform us that this woman is not your wife – but you have told everyone else she is. This is not exactly a display of truthfulness.’

  Akshay chipped in, ‘In other words, this will not be a suitable case study for ethics at the university. But, my dear Jogen, it may be necessary to speak in two voices in certain circumstances. At least one of them is likely to be the truth. Maybe what Ramesh-babu has told you is true.’

  ‘I am not telling you anything at all. All I’m saying is that marrying Hemnalini is not unethical for me. There are serious obstacles to disclosing everything about Kamala to you – even if you were to be suspicious of me I couldn’t possibly do what is wrong. I would not have held back had it been a matter of my own joy or sorrow, my own honour or humiliation, but I cannot be unfair to someone else,’ Ramesh said, exasperated.

  Jogendra simply asked,‘Have you told Hemnalini everything?’

  ‘No. It has been decided that I shall tell her after we’re married – but I can tell her now if she so wishes.’

  ‘May we ask Kamala a question or two?’

  ‘Absolutely not. You may sentence me if you consider me guilty, but I cannot put the innocent Kamala on the stand for you to cross-examine her.’

  ‘There is no need to cross-examine anyone. I have found out all that I needed to know. There is sufficient evidence. I am telling you clearly – if you try to enter our house after this, you will have to face humiliation.’

  Ramesh sat in ashen-faced silence.

  ‘One more thing,’ said Jogendra. ‘You must not correspond with Hem – not even the most distant relationship between the two of you is permissible, overtly or covertly. If you write to her, I shall divulge to everyone with complete evidence exactly what you are attempting to hide. If anyone asks why the wedding was cancelled, I will say it is because I did not consent to it. I shall not tell the truth. But if you are not careful, everything will be disclosed. You have behaved heartlessly; I am controlling my impulses not out of single-minded love for you – you are getting off lightly only because my sister is involved. Now, my final directive to you is that none of what you say or do in future should indicate that you ever knew Hem. I am not asking you for your word because a vow will not befit you after all your lies. But if you still have some shame, if you still fear humiliation, do not ignore what I am saying.’

  ‘Enough, Jogen.
Ramesh-babu isn’t saying a word, do you still not feel some pity? Come away now. Excuse us, Ramesh-babu, we’re leaving,’ Akshay said.

  Jogendra and Akshay left. Ramesh sat like a statue. Once his bewilderment left him, he felt the urge to step out of the house and consider the situation. But, he remembered that Kamala was home, and that she could not be left alone.

  Going into the next room, he found Kamala sitting quietly by the window looking at the road. At the sound of Ramesh’s footsteps, she lowered the slats and turned towards him. Ramesh sat down on the floor.

  ‘Who were they?’ asked Kamala. ‘They were at our school this morning.’

  ‘At your school?’ asked Ramesh in astonishment.

  ‘Yes,’ answered Kamala. ‘What were they telling you?’

  ‘They were asking me about our relationship,’ said Ramesh.

  Although the absence of rules laid down by in-laws meant that Kamala had not yet learnt to be embarrassed, her traditional conditioning made her blush.

  ‘I told them there’s no relationship between us,’ said Ramesh.

  Kamala assumed Ramesh was teasing her. ‘Go away,’ she said in mock anger, turning away from him.

  ‘How do I explain our situation to Kamala,’ Ramesh asked himself.

  Suddenly Kamala jumped to her feet. ‘Oh dear, the crows are making off with your fruit!’ Rushing to the next room, she shooed the birds away and brought the plate in.

  Setting it down in front of him, she said, ‘Aren’t you eating?’

  Ramesh had no appetite any more but Kamala’s attention touched his heart. ‘Won’t you have some, Kamala?’ he asked.

  ‘You first,’ she told him.

  That was all, but in Ramesh’s current mental state even this slight touch of tenderness made him tearful. Without a word, he forced the fruit down his throat.

  When he was done, he said, ‘We’ll go home to our village tonight, Kamala.’

  ‘I don’t like it there,’ said a disconsolate Kamala, her eyes downcast.

  ‘Do you like it in school?’

  ‘No, don’t send me to school. I feel embarrassed. The girls keep asking me about you.’

  ‘What do you tell them?’

  ‘Nothing. They asked why you made me stay at the hostel during the holidays…I…’

  Kamala could not finish. Her wounded heart opened up again.

  ‘Why didn’t you say that I’m no one?’

  Kamala threw a sharp, angry look at him. ‘Go away,’ she said.

  Once again, Ramesh wondered what to do. Something was trying to burrow its way out of his heart like a worm. What had Jogendra told Hemnalini, what was she thinking, how was he to explain to her, how would he bear the burden of existence if he were to be parted from Hemnalini forever…Burning questions gathered in his head but he had no time to think about them. Ramesh was certain that his relationship with Kamala would now become the subject of intense discussion amongst his friends as well as enemies in Calcutta. Amidst this confusion, the word would spread far and wide – Ramesh was Kamala’s husband. It would not do to stay with her in Calcutta for a single day more.

  Interrupting Ramesh’s distracted thoughts, Kamala asked him, ‘What are you thinking of? If you’d prefer to stay in the village, I’ll live there too.’

  The young woman’s self-sacrifice struck yet another blow at Ramesh’s heart. Once more he wondered what he should do. Distracted again by his thoughts, he looked at Kamala without answering.

  Gravely, Kamala asked, ‘Are you angry because I did not want to stay at the hostel during the holidays? Tell me the truth.’

  Ramesh said, ‘I am telling you the truth, I am not angry with you. I am angry with myself.’

  Trying to extricate himself from his web of worries, Ramesh engaged in conversation with Kamala. ‘Tell me what you’ve learnt at school, Kamala,’ he said.

  With great enthusiasm, she proceeded to give him an account of her education. When she tried to impress Ramesh with her recent knowledge of the roundness of the earth, he expressed grave doubt. ‘How can this be possible?’ he asked.

  Kamala asked, ‘But it says so in our book – we’ve read it.’

  ‘Really?’ asked Ramesh in astonishment. ‘Your book? How thick is this book?’

  Taken aback by this question, Kamala said, ‘Not very thick, but it’s a printed book. With pictures, too.’

  Ramesh had to accept defeat in the face of such overwhelming evidence. After the account of her education, Kamala prattled on about the students and teachers at the school and their daily routine there. Busy with his own thoughts, Ramesh responded absently every now and then, even asking a question or two. Eventually Kamala said, ‘You’re not listening to a word.’ Enraged, she rose to her feet.

  Ramesh stopped her. ‘Don’t be angry, Kamala – I’m not well today.’

  Kamala turned back at once. ‘Are you ill? What’s wrong?’

  ‘Not ill exactly,’ said Ramesh. ‘Nothing serious…I feel this way sometimes…it’ll go away soon.’

  To offer entertainment along with education, Kamala said, ‘Would you like to see the picture of the earth in my geography textbook?’

  Ramesh expressed great interest. Fetching her book, Kamala held it open in front of him. ‘These two circles you see are actually one,’ she told him. ‘Is it possible to see both sides of a round object at the same time?’

  ‘Not even of a flat object,’ answered Ramesh after pretending to think for some time.

  ‘That is why the two sides of the earth have been drawn separately,’ said Kamala.

  The evening passed this way.

  20

  Annada-babu had sincerely hoped that Jogendra would bring good news, clearing all his confusion. When Jogendra and Akshay arrived, he looked at them apprehensively.

  Jogendra said, ‘Who could have imagined that you would allow Ramesh so much liberty, Baba! I’d never have introduced him to any of you had I known!’

  ‘You have told me many times that it is your desire that Hemnalini marries Ramesh. If you wished to prevent it, you should have…’ Annada-babu said.

  ‘I had not considered preventing it altogether, but that does not mean—’

  ‘What does “that does not mean” signify? Either you will proceed or you will stop it – what other course can you pursue?’

  ‘That does not mean proceeding to a point where…’

  Akshay smiled. ‘Some things proceed under their own impetus; they do not need encouragement. Eventually, they go out of hand. But what is the use of arguing over what has already taken place? It is more important to determine the course of action now.’

  ‘Did you meet Ramesh?’ Annada-babu asked with trepidation.

  ‘We did indeed. For a longer period than we had expected to. We even met his wife,’ Jogendra replied.

  Annada-babu stared at him in consternation. Then he asked, ‘Whose wife did you say you met?’

  ‘Ramesh’s wife.’

  ‘I cannot understand a word of what you’re saying. Ramesh’s wife? Which Ramesh?’

  ‘Our Ramesh. When he went home five or six months ago, it was to get married.’

  ‘But the marriage did not take place because his father died.’

  ‘The death occurred after the marriage.’

  Stunned into silence, Annada-babu scratched his head. After some thought, he said, ‘Then he cannot marry Hem.’

  ‘That is what we’re saying—’

  ‘That may be what you’re saying, but meanwhile all the arrangements for the wedding have been made. Letters have been dispatched, announcing the change of date from this Sunday to the next – do we have to send letters again cancelling the wedding?’

  Jogendra said, ‘Why cancel it altogether? We could go on with a few changes.’

  ‘What changes?’ said Annada-babu in surprise.

  ‘We have to change whatever can be changed. We have to pick another groom instead of Ramesh and have the wedding next Sunday. What will people say
otherwise?’

  Annada-babu asked, ‘How will we find a groom so quickly?’

  ‘You can rely on me, Baba.’

  ‘But Hem will have to agree.’

  Jogendra glanced at Akshay, who lowered his eyes modestly.

  ‘I’m sure she will agree once she is told everything about Ramesh,’ Jogendra said.

  ‘Do whatever you think best,’ said Annada-babu. ‘But Ramesh is both wealthy and educated enough to earn well. Just the day before yesterday we had agreed that he would practise law in Etawah, and now look what’s happened.’

  ‘Don’t worry, Baba, Ramesh can still practise law in Etawah. I’d better tell Hem, we don’t have much time.’

  Jogendra entered with Hemnalini a little later. Akshay remained sitting in a corner of the room next to the bookshelf.

  Jogendra said, ‘Sit down, Hem, there’s something I have to tell you.’

  Hemnalini sat down in silence. She knew she was about to be tested.

  As a preamble Jogendra said, ‘Do you see no cause for suspicion in Ramesh’s behaviour?’

  Hemnalini shook her head without a word.

  ‘What possible reason could he have for postponing the wedding by a week without telling us?’ Jogendra asked her,

  Lowering her eyes, Hemnalini said, ‘There must be a reason.’

  ‘That is right. There certainly is, but isn’t that suspicious?’

  Hemnalini shook her head again in silence to suggest, ‘No’.

  Jogendra was furious that she trusted Ramesh more implicitly than she did her family. He abandoned his cautious approach and said sternly, ‘As you remember, Ramesh went home with his father about six months ago. We were surprised not to have received a single letter from him thereafter. You also know that the same Ramesh who used to visit our house twice a day, who had always lived next door to us, did not meet us when he came back to Calcutta, hiding away in a different house. Despite this, both of you invited him home without your faith in him being shaken in the slightest. I would never have allowed this.’