The Upside to Being Single

by Emma Hart

  “She’s. Your. Employee.” He slammed his hand against the island with each word. “Remember that? Someone you hire? Someone you pay? Someone you tell what to do?”

  I stared at him for a moment, then shook my head. I knew that. I knew she was my goddamn employee, but I didn’t care.

  I wanted her more than I’d ever cared about it.

  “I’m going out.” I walked to the front door, put on my sneakers, then grabbed my jacket off the hook.

  Sam looked at me, holding his hands out.

  “I’m not listening to another one of your fuck marathons,” I told him. “You can stand there and judge me for falling for my employee, but you’re twenty-eight and fucking random women like you’re being paid to do it. Worry about your relationships before you worry about mine.”

  I yanked open the door and slammed it behind me. I shrugged on my jacket and headed for the stairs.

  It was like living with an eighteen-year-old.

  I had to find my own fucking apartment.

  ***

  I opened the new carton of orange juice and stared at it.

  I wasn’t usually a straight-from-the-carton guy. It would be petty as fuck, but I was in a petty mood despite the fact I was a grown-ass man.

  I pushed my unused glass to the side and drank straight from the carton. Fuck Sam and his interruption. He’d not only interrupted my date, but he’d left me with such a case of blue balls he’d interrupted my sleep.

  That was the only reason I’d jacked off in the shower at three a.m. Fuck knew I wasn’t getting any sleep until I’d got the frustration out of my system.

  If he hadn’t come in, Mellie and I would have finished what we started. I would have been able to carry her into my room and fuck her until this morning.

  I recapped the carton and put it back in the fridge. I got a pathetic fizzle of amusement from closing the fridge with the carton in there.

  “Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t know anyone was awake.”

  I turned and looked at the redhead Sam brought home last night. She was wearing nothing but an old t-shirt of Sam’s that I recognized from high school, and her hair was pulled up on top of her head. Make-up was smudged beneath her eyes, and she looked a million miles away from the person she did last night.

  “Early start at work,” I said. “Where’s Sam?”

  “Still asleep.” She cocked a thumb over her shoulder awkwardly and shuffled.

  Trust it to Sam to piss me off then leave me to babysit his mess.

  “Can I get you anything? Coffee? I think there’s herbal tea somewhere,” I offered.

  “Uh, do you have juice?”

  I motioned toward the fridge. “There’s a bunch in there. Help yourself.”

  “Thanks. Where are your glasses?”

  Yep. Definitely babysitting.

  “I just took that from the dishwasher. I have to go, so knock yourself out.” I smiled at her and grabbed my phone.

  “Oh, okay, thanks. Bye.” She opened the fridge, and when I looked back before I left, I saw her pull the orange juice carton out.

  I fought back a smile and left the apartment. Petty as fuck, but who wasn’t sometimes? I still had serious blue balls because of my cousin, and she was part of that by default.

  I rubbed my hand across my forehead and stepped out onto the sidewalk. It was so quiet for such a big city, but then again, it was eight in the morning. The only people awake were the people like me who had to work instead of party until all hours.

  I made the ten-minute walk to the hotel and used the passage at the side to go in through the back entrance. No matter what I’d said to Mellie, there were still a few staff members wary of me and the review system I’d put in place.

  I didn’t care; I just didn’t feel like getting evil eyes this early in the damn morning.

  It was almost as if some of the staff thought that killing me with their gazes would make their jobs way more secure.

  Apparently, I had more than a couple of idiots working for me.

  I sighed and stopped outside the office. I’d been so determined to get here that I hadn’t stopped for coffee.

  Or donuts.

  I had a feeling a certain somebody would need donuts after last night.

  Giving up on the staying away from staff thing, I walked out to the lobby where Lillie was helping someone check out at reception. I hovered at the end of the desk and waited for her to be done, all the while admiring how good she was at her job.

  She was a lot like Mellie—she just made people feel good. Even if Lillie did stumble over her words with me sometimes.

  “Hey,” I said when she was done. “How are you doing?”

  “Morning!” she said brightly. “I’m good. How are you?”

  “Good, thanks. Is Mellie here yet?”

  Lillie nodded. “She got here about ten minutes ago. She’s in a—hey, I didn’t see you come in.”

  “I came in the back. You said Mellie’s here?”

  “Yeah, she’s in y’all’s office. She’s in a real bad mood, though, so I’d avoid going in there.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “She is?”

  “Yep. She didn’t speak to anyone on her way when she got here, and I’m pretty sure we all heard the door slam.” She paused and looked at me, her eyes narrowing slightly. “She said she was seeing you last night. What did you do to her?”

  Great. She’s in a bad mood, and everyone assumes it’s my fault.

  Lillie wasn’t everyone, but fuck me.

  “I didn’t do anything.” I held up my hands. “We just did dinner, no big deal.”

  “Hmm. You two spend a lot of time together.”

  This was getting awkward really quickly.

  “Uh…” How the hell did I respond to that?

  “Is something going on with you two?”

  “I’m not sure that’s any of your business…” I trailed off. “Did she have breakfast with her when she came in.”

  Lillie leaned on the counter and folded her arms on it before grinning at me. “Something is going on with you two.”

  “Did she have breakfast with her?” I asked, stepping to the side.

  “No, she didn’t. No coffee, either, if you were wondering.”

  “Perfect, thanks.” I tapped the top of the desk and headed for the front door.

  “I like coffee, too!”

  “Got it!” I called, holding my hand up in acknowledgment.

  I went to Mellie’s favorite coffee shop a block away. After grabbing three coffees and enough powdered donuts to put her in a sugar coma, I headed back to the hotel. I slipped Lillie’s coffee behind the desk, and she shot me a thumb up in thanks.

  Then I braced myself for what was sure to be a hurricane behind the office door.

  I went for the handle, but it was locked. Surely if she’d left, Lillie would have said something? Then again, she was busy talking to someone…

  I put the donuts down and dug my key out of my pocket. I couldn’t get it fully inside the keyhole, which meant Mellie had her key in it.

  She’d locked me out.

  I pulled my key out, stuffed it back inside my pocket, and knocked on the door. “Mellie?”

  She didn’t answer.

  “Mellie, I know you’re in there.”

  Still nothing.

  “Let me in.”

  There was the sound of something moving inside, but she didn’t respond to me.

  I knocked. “Mellie, open the damn door and let me inside.”

  Nothing. She was completely and utterly ignoring me, and I was already running out of patience. However, I did have one last trick in my arsenal.

  “I have donuts.”

  Silence.

  Then, slowly, the sound of someone moving toward the door and the lock clicking.

  Thank God for that.

  Donuts really were the key to her.

  I opened the door and picked up the donuts to carry inside. She was already sitting back at her desk with her fe
et up. She had a paper file open on her lap, and there were a few marks and circles written on it.

  I kicked the door shut behind me. “Hey.”

  She glanced over at me. “Hey.”

  “I got you coffee. And donuts.” I put the bag on the desk and set the coffee down in front of her. “I already had breakfast, so they’re all yours.”

  “Thanks.” She didn’t look at me. She was fully focused on whatever paperwork she had in front of her, and I wasn’t sure anything I could say would bring her attention to me.

  She was angry. There was no doubt about it. It rolled off her in waves, like the after-effect of a tsunami, except my gut told me the tsunami hadn’t yet hit.

  I wouldn’t push her right now. I’d give her a little time to calm down, but we had to talk about what had happened last night. We had to talk about what would have happened.

  Even if I never got to kiss her again, we had to clear the air.

  We had to make this a place we could work together.

  Feelings or no feelings.

  Chapter Twenty-One – Mellie

  Upside #21: You don’t have to explain your anger to anyone but the pillow you punch to death.

  I could feel his eyes on me.

  They burned.

  No matter how hard he tried to not look at me, it seemed as though he was incapable of it, just like I was when it came to ignoring the fact he was looking at me.

  I didn’t want to talk to him. I hadn’t even wanted to let him in here, as evidenced by me putting my key in the door to stop him.

  Damn him for bringing me donuts, though. As soon as he said that, I was weak.

  I reached over for the bag and pulled out one of the donuts. The powder went everywhere, but I bit into it anyway without caring.

  I didn’t know why I was so angry. It wasn’t that his cousin had walked in. I didn’t care about that.

  Okay, I was a little annoyed about that. Just a little.

  I lied. I did know why I was angry.

  I was angry at myself. I was angry because I’d let it get that far. Not only had I let us go so far, I was willing to go further. I wanted to go further. He was my damn boss, and I’d been sitting on top of him, willing to let him fuck me if he really wanted.

  And he had. I’d felt that. I knew he wanted it.

  Maybe that was why I couldn’t look at him. Because I knew, one hundred percent, how much he wanted me. I knew how much I wanted him.

  If he pulled me to him and kissed me right now, I wouldn’t stop him, either.

  “What are you doing over there?”

  I looked over at Jake and blinked for a minute.

  “Mellie?”

  “Oh. Um, it’s just stuff for an event. A couple are getting married in nine months and want to book basically the whole hotel. I’m trying to figure out if we can do it and give a group rate like they’re requesting.”

  “How many people are there?”

  “Enough to fill all but two rooms. The whole wedding party need to stay here, and it sounds like a huge hoopla.”

  “Like…a hundred people?”

  “No, think Kim Kardashian when she married that basketball player.”

  “I know nothing about the Kardashians.”

  Of course, he didn’t. “Big. Crazy. Enough to make me want to stab my eyeballs with a fork.”

  Jake laughed, but it sounded hollow to me. He didn’t really mean it, which was good, because I didn’t want him to mean it.

  I turned back to my work without another word.

  “Mellie?”

  I tilted my face away from him and ignored him.

  “Mellie. You can’t ignore me forever.”

  “I can,” I said.

  Jake sighed and got up. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him walk around the desk and come toward me. He gripped hold of my ankles and threw my bare feet to the floor, then tore the paperwork from me and threw it on the desk.

  “You can’t ignore me,” he said firmly. He leaned down and gripped the arms of my chair, bringing his face level with mine.

  I sat up straight and glared at him. I folded my arms and kept up my hard stare.

  “We can’t ignore this,” he said in a softer, lower voice. “And we’re not going to. I’m not going to sit here in this fucking office with so much unsaid. We’re going to talk about what happened, and if you don’t want to talk, you’re gonna damn well listen to what I have to say.”

  I set my jaw.

  I didn’t want to hear it, but that didn’t matter.

  “I’m sorry.” He searched my gaze. “If Sam coming back is why you’re so angry, then I’m sorry. He’s a dick. Probably one of the most selfish people I know. He knew we were having dinner and—”

  “It wasn’t him!” I shoved at his arm, and surprisingly, he let me go. I got up off the chair and walked across the room, running my hands through my hair. “Jesus, I couldn’t care less that he walked in. I’m more annoyed that we were in that situation to begin with.”

  “You’re more annoyed we were kissing?”

  “Yes!” I almost tore my hair out as I turned around. “Fucking hell, Jake. You’re my boss! If Sam didn’t come back, what would have happened, huh? We’d have gone further, and if we’d had sex, we never would have been able to come back from that.”

  “Has it occurred to you that maybe I don’t want to come back from that?”

  I rubbed my hands down my face. “We can’t—we can’t even get to that point!”

  “Listen to me.” He walked to me and cupped my face. I tried to get him off me, but he simply grabbed my face again and made me look at him. “I don’t care. I don’t care that I’m your boss. I like you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I should. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

  “That doesn’t make this right!”

  “And being your boss doesn’t make it wrong. If you can look me in the eye right now and tell me that you don’t feel anything for me, that you never want me to touch you again, then fine. I’ll let you go, and I’ll do just that.”

  He searched my eyes. His gaze was dark and intense, and his fingers twitched against my cheeks.

  My mouth was dry.

  I wanted to say it. I wanted to rip the lie from my throat and tell him just that. I didn’t feel anything, and I never wanted him to touch me again.

  But, as he looked into my eyes, I felt everything. I felt stupid and desperate, heady and free. I wanted him to touch me harder, dig his fingers into my skin so I could really feel how bad he wanted me.

  “Say it, Mellie. If you really feel that this is wrong, tell me that.”

  “I can’t,” I whispered, looking into his eyes. “I just…I can’t tell you that.”

  His response was to kiss me. Softly, gently, just one simple touch that sent a shiver down my spine. “I like you. I really, really like you. I want you to understand that. I know this is awkward and not ideal, and I promise you it’s nothing to do with the fact the first part of you I saw was your boobs.”

  I dropped my gaze and bit the inside of my cheek to hide my smile.

  Jake slid one hand down and hooked two fingers under my chin, tilting my head back up. “I mean it.” His smile was lopsided. “You’re the clumsiest person I’ve ever met, but that also makes you the most adorable. And I’m not going to lie; I’m starting to think I might be a little obsessed with you and your eccentricities.”

  “I’m not eccentric. I don’t have eccentricities.”

  “The first times we met, you either showed me your boobs or smashed something.”

  “Don’t forget when I hurt myself.” I paused. I’d just bought into his narrative. “Damn it.”

  Jake laughed, wrapping his hand around the back of my neck. He pulled me in to kiss him again while still laughing, so I just pouted at him.

  “We still need to talk about this. We need to talk about how it works.” I pulled back from him and sat on the edge of the desk. Why was this such a comfortable position? “So, do
n’t think we can just waltz into anything without discussing the steps first.”

  “Waltz into something. That would be a lot easier than this talking thing.”

  “We have to talk!”

  “Of course, we do. You’re a woman. You love to talk.”

  I put my hands on my hips. “Listen here. If I had my own way, I’d still be sitting in my chair, working, happily ignoring you.”

  “You were happy enough to eat the donuts I bought you.”

  “Well, duh. They’re donuts. Everyone is happy to eat donuts.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “I’m not always happy to eat donuts.”

  I gasped, pressing my hand against my chest. “How can you not—you know, I’m starting to question my feelings for you after that. That might be treasonous.”

  “I don’t need to eat donuts if I’m going to kiss you.” He walked over to me, licked his fingertip, and pressed it to my cheek. “Because you’re guaranteed to taste just like them.” He turned his finger.

  There was powdered sugar on it.

  I licked my fingers and wiped at my cheek. I’d probably take off half the make-up I had on there, but I didn’t want to be walking around with anything on my cheek.

  Jake laughed. He brought his hands down to my knees and parted my thighs, stepping between them.

  Thank God I’d worn a dress with a flirty skirt today. Parting one’s legs in a pencil skirt would be a nightmare.

  “So…Talking. Tonight?” Hope flickered in his eyes.

  “For someone who doesn’t want to talk, you’re pretty keen on doing so.”

  He rested his hands on the tops of my thighs and leaned in. “I know, but I have an ulterior motive.”

  “Which is?”

  He dipped his head. His lips ghosted along my jaw until his mouth found my ear. “The sooner we clear it up, the sooner we get to fuck.”

  My stomach flipped. “Um, well, I guess—that’s a good reason, huh? Yep. Definitely.”

  His grin was so sexy it basically tugged on my clit. Not a good thing since he was standing between my legs, and if I made it too obvious, I didn’t think he’d wait until tonight.