EAT SLAY LOVE
Page 23
The earl snorted his amusement and then tried to pretend he hadn’t. “How about glassicals?” he suggested, apparently unable to resist a contribution. There was a twinkle in his eye as he said it that Alexia found rather unsettling.
Professor Lyall looked up from his examination and glared at the both of them. His right eye was hideously magnified. It was quite gruesome and made Alexia start involuntarily.
“These are my monocular cross-magnification lenses with spectra-modifier attachment, and they are invaluable. I will thank you not to mock them so openly.” He turned once more to the task at hand.
“Oh.” Miss Tarabotti was suitably impressed. “How do they work?” she inquired.
Professor Lyall looked back up at her, suddenly animated. “Well, you see, it is really quite interesting. By turning this little knob here, you can change the distance between the two panes of glass here, allowing the liquid to—”
The earl’s groan interrupted him. “Don’t get him started, Miss Tarabotti, or we will be here all night.”
Looking slightly crestfallen, Professor Lyall turned back to the dead vampire. “Now, what is this substance all over his clothing?”
His boss, preferring the direct approach, resumed his frown and looked accusingly at Alexia. “What on God’s green earth is that muck?”
Miss Tarabotti said, “Ah. Sadly, treacle tart. A tragic loss, I daresay.”
Table of Contents
Front Cover Image
Welcome
Dedication
Extras
Meet the Author
A Preview of SOULLESS
CHAPTER 1: Zombie on a diet
CHAPTER 2: Cut the zombies out of your life. Emotional and actual.
CHAPTER 3: Make connections with like-minded people. Support groups are a good way to stay fit, improve your life… oh, and survive a zombie apocalypse.
CHAPTER 4: There’s power to positive thinking. Also to planning an escape route.
CHAPTER 5: Don’t sweat the small stuff. Half-crazed survivors, zombies after your ass… these things are not small stuff.
CHAPTER 6: Savor your own good life. Or just life in general. Especially when the zombies are coming.
CHAPTER 7: Try something new. Hint: Not sacrificing yourself to the zombies.
CHAPTER 8: Set boundaries. It’s the only way the zombies and the crazy people will learn.
CHAPTER 9: Get out of your own way. Try to get out of the way of stray bullets, too.
CHAPTER 10: How to make friends and influence survivors (but not zombies).
CHAPTER 11: The only person who can reject you is you. Unless they find out you’re a zombie. But then it’s not so much rejection as extermination.
CHAPTER 12: Your history strengthens your future. Remember that time when you killed that zombie…?
CHAPTER 13: Happiness is not an accident. Neither is a zombie apocalypse.
CHAPTER 14: Money can’t buy happiness, but killing shit helps.
CHAPTER 15: Who you are is not what you do. Unless you eat brains.
CHAPTER 16: Banish the doubt. You can totally walk through the zombies without dying!
CHAPTER 17: Be prepared for all contingencies. Especially zombies, liars, and highway traffic.
CHAPTER 18: Pay attention to nonverbal communication. People almost always signal in some way before they try to kill you.
CHAPTER 19: Know yourself. Also know your friends. Sometimes both will amaze you.
CHAPTER 20: Remember to care for yourself while you’re caring for others. Otherwise, you might get shot or something.
CHAPTER 21: See the beauty all around you. Like in night-vision goggles, a fully loaded AK-47, and a souped-up SUV.
CHAPTER 22: Let go. It won’t be as bad as you think. Maybe.
CHAPTER 23: Make the decision to be free. Whenever you can.
By Jesse Petersen
Praise for the Living with the Dead series
Copyright
BY JESSE PETERSEN
LIVING WITH THE DEAD
Married with Zombies
Flip this Zombie
Eat Slay Love
Praise for the Living with the Dead series
“If you like Shaun of the Dead or Zombieland, this book will probably make you happy in your zombie pants.”
—smartbitchestrashybooks.com
“It’s just good, old-fashioned brain eating here, and sometimes that’s all a girl needs.”
—Romantic Times
“This has got to be the cutest zombie book I’ve ever read.”
—tigersallconsumingbooks.blogspot.com
Copyright
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Copyright © 2011 by Jesse Petersen
Excerpt from Soulless copyright © 2009 by Tofa Borregaard
All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
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First eBook Edition: July 2011
ISBN: 978-0-316-10292-6