It's Not Over

by A. L. Zaun

  I looked over at the gate and saw the long line of passengers waiting to get on the airplane. For once, I didn’t mind standing in line. It would give me a chance to figure out what the fuck I was going to do.

  I can always apply this ticket to another flight at a later date.

  The crowd shuffled in line, wearing their thick sweaters and winter jackets. I looked down and noticed I was only wearing a T-shirt and a black leather jacket. It was enough for a Miami winter but not appropriate for New York in January. This brilliant non-plan of mine was really beginning to suck.

  Note to self: Think things through.

  I stood at the end of a line with what seemed like the entire population of a small country in front of me. My hand throbbed, and I couldn’t make a fist. In my other hand, I held a thousand dollar plane ticket. I was chasing a woman who was either playing fucking games with me or was trying to get the hell away from me. These were all things I’d never done.

  I contemplated how I had envisioned this day. I thought back to early this morning when I’d stopped the masquerade. I’d thought we would have had a sweet farewell, both getting our closure and going on our merry way. I would have called Madison. We would have talked about what was going on between us. Fuck, maybe we could have worked things out while we fucked, and then we could have fucked some more. Between fucking, I would have prepared things for Wednesday’s meeting. Yes, that was how I’d figured this day would go. So far, it had been an epic fail.

  I rubbed my eyes, trying to figure things out. I needed a recovery plan because I didn’t fail. I hadn’t been wrong about Madison. There was something between us. I wouldn’t be here if there weren’t. My mind was tossing all these ideas and thoughts of Madison and her many personalities back and forth. As pissed as I was at her, the one image I kept coming back to was that of last night when she had smiled and thrown her arms around me. I should have taken her back to my place and dealt with Daniela on another day, but I’d had to be the fucking better man.

  Suddenly, I was jolted from my thoughts when some rude motherfucker bumped into me without saying anything. He just pushed right past me, shoving me into the people in front of me. I apologized to the pissed off bitch that huffed at me and leaned over to see who the asshole was. My café con leche rose up my throat. It was Madison’s fuck buddy from Thanksgiving.

  Are they flying off to New York together? Is there something going on between them? Are they more than just fuck buddies? Why the fuck is that asshole here?

  Rage warmed my body as my muscles twitched, and my jaw clenched. I ran my hand through my hair and cursed her. She had taken off without saying shit to me. She hadn’t answered my calls. Instead, she was here with that motherfucker.

  Betrayal, anger, and jealousy strangled me, but the pride I’d swallowed suffocated me. The noise of the crowded airport went silent. The room spun as I looked around to make sense of what the last few hours of my life had turned into. For once, I was trying to do the right fucking thing. I had let go of the girl I had chased but was wrong for me, so I could be with the one who was everything to me. On the cusp of the greatest day of my life, everything I’d ever wanted seemed to be slipping away from me.

  The line moved, but I didn’t. I stepped aside and let other passengers go ahead of me. I started walking toward the window. I’m not a quitter. I’ve come this far. I needed her and all her fucking mood swings, but right now, I wanted to grab her by her blonde hair and drag her, kicking and screaming, out of this airport then strangle her.

  Why the fuck is she here with him?

  I decided it was smarter to just watch the plane leave with her on it. I would then turn around, walk through those automatic doors, and never look back. Whatever this was between us…wasn’t anything. If she wants to leave and not tell me shit, then she can go to hell. It was time I took back my dick.

  And then, I saw her stand up at the other side of the gate. I couldn’t take my eyes off her as she slithered through the seats toward the line. She was a viper who had stuck her fangs in me, filling me with her venom. She was beautiful and deadly at the same time.

  How many victims has she had over the course of her life?

  I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. The closer she got, the faster my heart beat.

  She isn’t going to get away that easily.

  Chapter 5

  Madison

  “Final boarding call for American Airlines Flight 1137 to New York,” announced the gate agent over the loud speaker.

  I shifted in my seat, pulled my purse strap over my shoulder, and reached for my coat. I waited until the last minute, wanting to minimize any interactions with Alex in tight quarters. Standing up, I rolled my eyes as I saw the long line of passengers waiting to board. So much for a final boarding call. I was so tired I didn’t know what I needed more—a good night’s sleep or a thorough fucking. No, I just need to get to New York. Once there, I would have my distance, get my answers, take a long nap, and then I would do what I’d planned all along—forget Rick Marin.

  I noticed Alex pushing past some passengers and making his way to the counter.

  Manners, Alex—they go a long way, I thought, shaking my head.

  He’d changed out of his pants, and he was wearing dry jeans. He glanced over at me and glared. I put on my impassive game face.

  Fuck him. He wasn’t going to intimidate me. If he wants a fight, then he’ll get one. I wasn’t that vulnerable and naïve eighteen-year-old girl anymore. Times had changed, and so had I.

  I started walking toward the back of the line when I saw him. His eyes were fixed on me. My heart fluttered, and a lump formed in my throat as every emotion I’d tried to bury and suppress begged to erupt. I looked away and batted my eyes quickly to push back the tears that rebelliously welled in my eyes. For a split second, I entertained the romantic notion that he’d come for me. I felt my impassive expression softening, and my lips involuntarily curved ever so slightly. I took a deep slow, steady breath and exhaled gradually as I tried to regain my composure, but it was nearly impossible to slow my racing heart.

  He stormed over to me with an intense and thunderous look in his eyes. He was in the midst of one of his temper tantrums.

  Can this day get any worse? I dug in deeper, trying to find whatever emotional strength I had left, so I could deal with yet another difficult encounter.

  I straightened my shoulders and narrowed my eyes, not taking them off of his stare. While he made his way through the crowd, I understood the womanly desire of wanting strong arms to envelop me. On more than half a dozen occasions, I’d watched my mother succumb to these weak moments in lieu of logic. Heartache after heartache, she still never learned. Strangely in this moment, I could relate with her poor decisions. In spite of everything I had known to be true, I found myself wanting to experience this insanity.

  Suck it up, Madison. Don’t let him get to you. You will not make the same mistakes your mother made.

  I squelched those irrational thoughts, reminding myself that everything in his life was falling into place, and I didn’t belong there.

  His lips were slightly parted as he stood with his arms crossed in front of his chest. His obnoxious stance could have been enough to make me nostalgic for our power struggles, but I refused to go down that road.

  Focus, Madison. How did he find me?

  “What are you doing here?” I asked flatly, crossing my own arms.

  “Hmph, why do you always ask that fucking question?” he responded before clenching his jaw. “Why the fuck do you think I’m here? Let’s see…because that’s exactly what you wanted. You’ve conditioned me to become your little lap dog. Maybe I can jump in your purse, and you can tote me around like the pussy I’ve become. I want my fucking dick back.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. My heart hammered in my chest, but I maintained my composure. “You’re behaving like a petulant child, and it’s unattractive in a grown man. So, change the attitude. Anyway, I highly doubt you’re here bec
ause of some manipulation on my part. I’m not the manipulator. I’ll ask you again—what are you doing here?”

  This could actually be a good way to quickly move me from my melodramatic self-pity into my resolve to letting this baggage go.

  He looked away, shaking his head. When he looked back, he closed his eyes then slowly opened them. “I needed to talk to you. You’d know that if you answered your damn phone,” he said, trying to steady his voice. “But right now, I want to know why you’re here with him.”

  He needs to fucking talk to me? Yes, that sounds about right.

  It was always about him with a little flare of his machismo jealousy. “In case you haven’t figured this out, the world doesn’t revolve around you. I have a plane to catch. Say what you have to say. I don’t have all day.” I raised an eyebrow, feeling the blood boiling in my veins and adrenaline pulsating through my body. My momentary lapse into fantasyland was foolish. I bit my cheek in an attempt to rein in my emotions.

  So much for not engaging in a power struggle.

  “Why didn’t you fucking tell me that you were leaving?” he asked through clenched teeth.

  “I don’t have time for this.” I noticed the boarding line becoming shorter, and I tried to disengage from the conversation.

  He raised his voice. “Answer the fucking question.”

  I exhaled, feeling exhausted. Why can’t I catch a break? “I’m sorry, Rick. I didn’t get the memo about needing your permission to live my life.”

  “Don’t give me your fucking attitude right now,” he growled as the veins in his neck throbbed. “Why didn’t you tell me? Damn, you’re driving me fucking nuts.”

  He’s impossible.

  I couldn’t look at him. Behind his outbursts, he was wounded, and a part of me wanted to reach out and rein him in as I’d done so many times over the past several months. That, however, would have required me to both touch him and have him focus on my eyes and voice. I can’t go there.

  “Damn it, Madison, tell me.” His hand cupped my chin and tilted my face to look at him.

  I didn’t know what he expected me to say. I couldn’t explain it to myself. This wasn’t who I was. I didn’t do any of this. I was impulsively reacting to situations rather than thinking them through. I’d formed an attachment to a man I knew would leave me. I needed to focus and stop acting like an irrational woman.

  “I’m telling you now, Rick. See that airplane?”

  He looked over me, and then he rolled his eyes.

  “That big silver plane is taking me to New York. I’m very sorry you’re upset. I should have advised you sooner of my plans.”

  “Why are you doing this now?” His shoulders slumped, and his arms fell to his side.

  “Pigs get fat, and hogs get slaughtered,” I said, steeling my eyes on him.

  He ran his left hand through his hair and shook his head. “Speak in goddamn English.”

  He was all over the place in typical Rick fashion. He vacillated between anger and confusion with a hint of hurt. He moved closer to me, closing his eyes momentarily and biting his lower lip. His hair was slightly tousled, and his hardened expression softened. I had to give him credit—he was trying. I’d thought he would have been off consummating his conquest, allowing me enough time to make a somewhat graceful exit, but instead, he was here, being his usual relentless pain in the ass. In spite of his delivery, he was endearing in a psychotic kind of way.

  Pull the Band-Aid off already. “You have it all, but you’re getting greedy.” I looked in his eyes and felt a rush of emotions come over me. I glanced away to steady the feelings starting to choke me. “I have to go.” I leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his cheek, taking in the feel of his stubble against my lips. “You’ll look back on this and thank me.” I turned quickly toward the gate.

  He placed a hand on my shoulder, and I stood still as he came up behind me. He pressed his body into mine, and I melted against his touch.

  He whispered in my ear, “Maddy, don’t do this.”

  “I have to,” I said, leaning back into him and feeling his warmth wash over me. Damn you, Rick. “They’re waiting for me, so they can close the gate.”

  “Fuck, Maddy. I can’t let this go.” He brought his arms around me and buried his head in my neck. “I can’t let you go—not like this.”

  I closed my eyes, denying the longing I had. I didn’t want to walk away. Why was he making this so much harder than it had to be? He had it all. He was on top of his game professionally. He had the girl, and now, he wanted his sidekick to stick around.

  A couple of months ago, I would have been fine with that. I was the one who had become greedy. The asshole had grown on me. I had always known the inevitable. I just couldn’t watch it anymore.

  I brought my hands down over his, and he quickly pulled back.

  “Not the hand,” he moaned.

  I turned around and looked at the swollen hand he was cradling. “Oh my god. What on earth have you done?” I asked, my eyes widening. “I don’t have time for this. Seriously, Rick, what’s gotten into you?”

  “Passengers Madison Stuart and Enrique Marin, please report to gate forty-seven for final boarding.”

  “Passenger?” I asked, rolling my eyes. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” I strutted toward the jetway. “Shouldn’t you be kissing Daniela’s ass right about now?” I put up my hand to stop him.

  He looked at me confused. “I needed you to hear me out. I still do. This was the only way I could get to you since you don’t fucking answer your phone.”

  I looked over my shoulder and shot him daggers as he handed his boarding pass to the gate agent and followed behind me. “Unreal, Rick. Un-fucking-real.”

  I can’t believe him. So much for getting him out of my system this weekend.

  “You know, Maddy, I hated the attitude you gave me back there, but this one is kind of hot,” he said with a chuckle, hooking his hands around my waist. “But why are you dressed like my mom?”

  “You’re an asshole.” I raised my hand, trying to wave him off, but he pulled me in closer. “And where’s your coat? You’re going to freeze your balls off.”

  “I was hoping you’d keep them warm,” he said in a husky voice, pressing himself against me as we made our way onto the airplane.

  We were hurried to our seats in the front cabin by the friendly flight attendant.

  “Keep hoping. They’re going to freeze and fall off.” I glanced over at him and down at his crotch. “And it’ll be a damn shame, too.”

  “You’d never let that happen,” he whispered in my ear.

  I laughed, unsure how we went from an emotionally charged encounter to our typical playful banter. “You’re one cocky son of a bitch. You didn’t think this through, did you?”

  I scanned the cabin and saw Alex sitting in the back corner of the first class cabin, next to a burly man. I’d never thought I would live to see the day when I’d be grateful for Rick’s cockblocking. After handing my coat to the flight attendant and placing my purse under my seat, I sat down next to the window.

  “Give me your pillow and blanket.” I looked up at Rick standing in the aisle, like he was waiting for an invitation to sit down. “What?”

  His lip curled, and he sat down, handing me the items. “Did it cross your mind that maybe I’d like to use my pillow and my blanket? And what happened to manners? How about this? ‘Rick, you’re amazing and wonderful. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Would you be your generous self, and please let me use your pillow and blanket?’ “

  I propped both pillows against the window and brought the blankets over me. “You’re an idiot. If you must know, yes, it did cross my mind. However, since you’re on my flight—stalking me, harassing me, or whatever the hell you’re doing—I don’t care. I’m tired, so leave me alone.”

  Our flight attendant came by to take our drink orders. Rick was opening his mouth to say something, but I interrupted him and ordered for both of us.

&nbs
p; “Yes, we’ll each have a bottle of water. Do you happen to have an ice pack?”

  Rick sat back, staring at me. “An ice pack? And what if I wanted to drink something else?”

  “You’re drinking water,” I stated in an unwavering manner. “Don’t give me a hard time, and the ice pack is for your hand. You have one minute to tell me what happened. I’m exhausted.” I leaned against my makeshift bed.

  “Before you get too comfortable there, can you fasten my seat belt?” He smiled, lifting his swollen hand. “The hand.”

  I leaned over, dragged my hands across his jeans, and fastened the buckle on the seat belt. My eyes drifted up to his. His face moved slowly closer to mine. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, bringing his hand softly down the side of my face. My heart beat uncontrollably, and a warm flush touched my cheeks.

  “You’re really beautiful,” he said, lowering his eyes to my mouth.

  “I thought you said I looked like your mom,” I countered rebelliously.

  His lips curved into a devilish grin. “I said you were dressed like my mom.” His hazel eyes shifted up, meeting mine as he leaned in even closer. My lips parted, and tingles radiated down my legs. In that moment, I wanted the playful and sexy-as-sin Asshole Extraordinaire with his temper tantrums, and I didn’t want it to end.

  “Ahem, excuse me,” said the flight attendant as she brought our bottled waters and an ice pack.

  I jumped back into my seat. What’s wrong with you, Madison? Get a grip!

  “Thank you.” Rick smiled, wearing a look of satisfaction on his face as his eyes sparkled, and his dimple made a subtle appearance.

  Asshole.

  Reining in my raging hormones and crazed desire, I reached for my purse and fished out a small bottle of Advil. I handed two to Rick, then took his hand in mine, and held the ice pack over it.

  He is so fucking high maintenance and out of control. “What on earth did you do now?”

  “I went looking for you. Bruce told me to fuck off, so I punched him.” He flinched when I pressed down on his hand. “I’m really hoping my hand isn’t broken. I can’t make a fist, and it hurts like fucking hell.”