It's Not Over

by A. L. Zaun

  Rick took my phone and looked at me. His jaw tensed while his nostrils flared. “How fucking bad are they?”

  “Bad enough that I left you in a restaurant with my grandfather,” I pointed out.

  He stayed quiet, staring out the window.

  “It’s who I am,” I said, owning my decisions.

  “Ugh!” He rubbed his face. “Stop saying that shit. It’s not who you are. You like to fuck, and so do I.” He clutched the phone, raising his arm like he was going to throw it.

  “Marin”—I placed my hand on his shoulder—”look at the pictures. You might change your mind. You might not want me on that plane with you tomorrow.”

  He brought his arm around me, pulling me flush against him. I could feel the intensity in his eyes holding me captive. “I want you on the fucking plane, in my life, and in my bed. Are we clear on what I want?” He handed me the phone and looked away. “I don’t want to see that shit.”

  “You need to see it,” I insisted and swallowed the panic creeping up in me.

  “Why? Let me ask you something.” He led me to the couch and held my hand. “Sit down and look me straight in the eye.” He closed his eyes for a brief moment and then fixed them on mine. “Do you want to be with me?”

  My heartbeat was thumping in my ears. Yes, I wanted to be with him, even with all his crazy, selfish stupidities. Yes, I wanted the fantasy. Yes, I wanted to feel his breath on my neck as he slept. I looked at him, caressing his face softly. The bracelet he’d given me for Christmas slid down my wrist and my thoughts went to another bracelet.

  I’d just come back home after fucking Alex for the first time. He hadn’t been kidding when he said he would fuck me hard. It hadn’t been like anything I’d ever experienced before. We hadn’t made love or even had sex. It had been raw, primal, and mind-blowing.

  God, what an exhilarating feeling. I was still riding the aftereffects when I opened the door to my room. She was sitting on the edge of my bed with a cocktail.

  “Isn’t it a little early for that?” I pointed at her drink.

  She scoffed. “Isn’t it a little early for the just-fucked look? Or are you doing the walk of shame after a night of carousing?”

  “Get out of my room,” I ordered as I walked past her to the bathroom.

  “Is that any way to speak to your mother?” She followed me in. Her eyes traveled the length of my body. She grabbed my wrist, staring at it with contempt. “This is mine,” she shrieked, yanking at the bracelet.

  It was white gold with tiny roses and even smaller diamonds. It was my grandmother’s, and she had given it to me before she passed away.

  “She was my mother. He’s my father. You’re just a fucking inconvenience. I should have let Patrick take Mason, and then I would have never had you.”

  Her eyes were crazed, and she smelled of alcohol and stale cigarettes. “You took her away from me because you’re a selfish little cunt.”

  She backed me against the vanity as I rubbed my wrist.

  “I didn’t get to see her before she died. No, she had to spend time with dear Maddy, who was heartbroken. Did you really think Jonathan wanted you? He saw an opportunity to fuck a stupid little bitch. You’re so naive. Look at you. Do you really think men see someone they want to marry? You’re the type of woman men have affairs with. You’re their dirty little secret.”

  With each word, I closed myself up. I wouldn’t give her the power to hurt me. She was a drunk and a pathetic excuse for a woman.

  She tugged on the bracelet, pressing it painfully into my skin. I pulled in the opposite direction, resisting her assault.

  “Let go of me, you…you…” I screamed.

  She pulled one last time, tearing my skin and breaking the clasp. The bracelet dangled in her hand. “Go to hell, Madison.”

  “Maddy.” Rick brought me back. With his thumb, he gently wiped a tear or two that had escaped. “Where were you?”

  I shook my head, erasing the memories. “This morning, you said you knew Daniela would’ve left with you if you hadn’t gone with the intention of saying good-bye.”

  “Yeah,” he responded, confused. “Where are you going with this?”

  “Why did you say good-bye?” I barely managed to keep my voice steady.

  “You do realize I’m about a million miles removed from the whole Daniela drama?”

  He searched my face. I nodded and prompted him with my hand to continue. “I didn’t really understand things. I just knew that whatever I had with her was nothing compared to what we have. I’ve always been able to walk away from her. I let her leave the club that night. I didn’t even try to talk to her. She tells me to leave, and I go.”

  He tapped my nose and pressed his lips to my forehead. “You, I’ll chase to the ends of the Earth. You kicked me out, and here I am. You piss me off, and I come right back for more abuse.” His voice was smooth and charming, but his eyes hinted at desperation. “Do you want to be with me?”

  Exhausted and slightly defeated, I implored him once again, “Look at the pictures, and then if you still feel that way, ask me again.”

  Rick and I had spent nearly every day together for the past couple of months. We had gotten to know one another very well, including our sexual practices. We’d even talked about the precautions that we’d both taken.

  I was on the pill and insisted on condoms every single time. I never went down on men. The last thing I was going to do was swallow a disease. I never knew men long enough or well enough to trust them. I never went to anyone’s apartment. We’d fuck in hotels, back rooms, or hallways. I’d just never go to any place that was private, intimate, or unknown. I never drank anything, fell asleep, or placed myself in unsafe situations. I always kept my shoes on. A stiletto was a weapon, and I had been fortunate that I’d never found myself in a situation where I needed to use them.

  Rick was a condom guy. He didn’t care if the girl was on the pill or not. He was paranoid and convinced that one of them would try to trap him with an unplanned pregnancy. He’d wear a condom and pull out. He went down on women and loved getting his dick sucked. He’d insisted that he made sure the girls were disease-free before he did any of that.

  We were both clean and had been tested on a regular basis.

  One night, we’d sat and talked about our craziest encounters, laughing at our botched-up hookups. Neither one of us were saints. Neither one of us had pretended to hide our love of fucking. I knew about his love life, his pursuit of Daniela, and the demise of their relationship. I knew about the pressures his family placed on him to assume his rightful position in their company as well as his mother’s strong presence in his life. I knew about his friends. I knew about his education, his dreams, and his desires. I knew him.

  He didn’t know me, at all.

  I unlocked the phone and handed it to him. He scrolled through the text messages and the pictures. His jaw clenched. His eyes flashed up to me as he handed the phone back.

  His voice had a menacing calmness about it. “I’m going to eat. Call Mark and tell him that we’re coming over to say good-bye. You’re leaving with me in the morning.”

  He went to the table and sat down. Gruffly pulling out the plastic silverware, he examined them and shook his head before eating out of the Styrofoam containers. This wasn’t good. Rick was a firm believer that food should be on dishes, not anything disposable.

  I came up behind him and gently placed my hands on his shoulders. “We should talk about this.”

  “I didn’t hear you call your grandfather,” he mentioned before bringing the fork to his mouth.

  He attacked his salad, jamming the fork into the finely sliced tenderloin before devouring it like a starved man. I’d never seen him eat like this.

  I sat down next to him. “I have a meeting with Patrick tomorrow at noon. I can’t miss it. He made time for me.” I hoped he would understand my predicament. “I can be on the next plane out afterward.”

  “Who the fuck is Patrick?” he aske
d, storming into the kitchen.

  “My father. If my grandfather is behind this shit with my career, maybe I can prove to Patrick that I can do it. Patrick isn’t swayed by emotion. He’s a businessman. The only thing that matters to him is the bottom line. Mason, Alex, and even my grandfather have made this personal. Patrick is my only hope.”

  He opened the trash can and dumped his Styrofoam containers.

  “You need a fucking appointment to talk to your dad? Are you fucking kidding me?”

  I tucked my hair behind my ear. “We’re not close. It’s a long story. Bottom line, I need to persuade him.”

  He gritted his teeth. “Call Mark. We’re leaving tomorrow.”

  He marched to the bedroom and then turned to me as he stood by the door. “I’m going to brush my teeth. Make the call and eat something.”

  “Ri—” I started.

  He threw his arms out. “Just do what I said.”

  Chapter 20

  Rick

  “Fuck, she packed my toothbrush,” I grumbled.

  Not giving it a second thought, I grabbed hers from the cup. My eyes were bloodshot, and my jaw was clenched tightly.

  Who the hell are these people?

  Her brother was the epitome of dickness. She actually needed to make an appointment to see her father. That alone was fucked-up. I had my own issues with my dad, but the door was always open. Then, there was that smug, motherfucking asshole. There was no way in hell that I would encourage her to come back to this hellhole.

  For the first time in my life, I understood why wars were fought over pussy. I could possibly be pushed to kill if someone tried to hurt her. Maybe kill was a little strong, but it was close to how I felt.

  I thought of the images on her phone. The body and face were the same, but her eyes were different. They were blank, lost, off in a different world, if they were open at all. They weren’t the same eyes looking back at me last night.

  Tension squeezed my muscles. I felt my neck tighten up.

  We have to get out of this fucking city and go back home to the craziness I know.

  “Madison, let’s go,” I called out to her from the bathroom. “Your grandfather’s waiting.”

  She stood in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest. “I know you’re upset.”

  I slid my hand behind her neck. “You have no fucking idea.”

  I glanced down at her pouty mouth and grinned while my heart beat like a fucking drumline. I wanted to kiss her, possess her, mark her, and make her mine. I lowered my mouth over hers and sucked on her lower lip.

  Brushing my lips over hers, I whispered, “Let’s go.”

  ***

  Nelson was still in the area, having his own dinner, when Madison called to see if he could turn back and drive us to Mark’s home. We’d made our way downstairs, and now I was bouncing on my toes with my hands deep in my pockets, trying to stay warm as we waited for him to pull up.

  “Look at me,” she ordered softly, cupping my chin with her hand. Her eyes had that badass sparkle that was unique to her. “I know you’re upset, so I’ll let it pass, but do not under any circumstances think that you’re going to boss me around.”

  “Maddy, I’m cold.” My lips spread in a flat line. “Do I look like I’m upset? I’m calm as can be.” Just as she was about to say something, I stopped her. “And don’t give me shit. You love it when I tell you what to do.”

  Nelson pulled up, and we quickly climbed into the backseat before she could say another word. She stared out of the window with her back to me, giving me the silent treatment. She hated when I was right. My eyes were glued to her, following the outline of her silhouette in the darkened car. I reached for her hand and brought it to my lips. She slowly turned her head. Her chin rested on her shoulder. The movement was graceful and elegant, and her lips curled in a seductive smile. This was a mood swing I could definitely work with.

  “I wonder how many people mistake you for a naive, defenseless woman.” I mused, laying our laced hands on my lap.

  “They’d be fools if they did,” she replied confidently, her eyes sparkling. “I know your brain is working on overdrive right now. You need to change gears.”

  I leaned toward her, bringing my other hand along her upper thigh.

  “That look in your eyes,” I started, a devious smile spreading across my face, “makes me want to do things…very bad things.”

  “You have a one-track mind,” she purred.

  I ran my nose along her chin.

  “What makes you think I’d let you?” she asked as her head tilted to the side, and she let me nip along her neck.

  “Yeah, you’re right.” I sucked on her silky skin. “What was I thinking?” I always loved teasing her about wanting me. My hand slipped between her legs, and she clenched them around me. “I mean, if you wanted me, you would have already had me,” I said.

  Her arm came around my neck, her fingers tugging and weaving in my hair. “Shut up and kiss me like you mean it.”

  I hovered above her mouth to tease her. “You want me, don’t you?” I grazed her lips. A quiet whimper encouraged me. “Tell me.” I licked her lower lip and sucked on it.

  “I hate you,” she whispered, pressing her mouth against mine.

  I pulled back, looking at her fuck-me eyes. “No, you don’t.” I placed a chaste kiss on her lips as she rubbed up against my hand trapped between her legs. “Tell me, Maddy.”

  “Yes.”

  “Yes, what?” I urged before kissing her along her jaw and neck.

  “Yes, I want you. I want you,” she murmured as her hands dug into my back, bringing me close into her.

  “Good.” I crushed my mouth against hers. “Because I need you like air.” While I kissed her feverishly, I couldn’t believe I’d said those words.

  She smiled, doubting my declaration. “Don’t get corny on me,” she panted.

  “Just making sure you’re paying attention.” I leaned my forehead against hers, swallowing.

  Nelson pulled the car to the curb. Madison’s eyes shifted when she saw the familiar entrance. “Nelson, we’re not stopping here. We’re going to the penthouse.”

  His eyes shifted to mine in the mirror.

  I rubbed her thigh. “I need to take care of some business. Give me five minutes.”

  I scooted toward the door.

  “Rick, what the fuck are you doing?” she asked, following behind me.

  “You stay here and keep my seat warm.” I winked at her as I blocked her exit.

  “No, get back in the car. Leave it alone. I can handle him.”

  She tried getting out of the car, but I closed the door. She pushed open the door when I stepped away. “Rick, I don’t need you to fight my battles.”

  She always had to be so fucking difficult. If I could have tied her up in the car, I would have. A gag would have been nice, too.

  “Babe, you don’t need me to rescue you. I get that. You deserve respect, and I’m giving it to you.” I ran my hand over my coat, flattening out any evidence of backseat action. “I’m defending your honor.” I stretched my neck, leaning my head from side to side. Game time.

  She climbed out of the car.

  Fucking A, I wish she would listen to me. “Maddy, get in the car and wait for me.”

  “Rick”—she turned me toward her—”don’t.”

  “Just get in the car. Five minutes. It’s a guy thing.” I was getting frustrated. “Five minutes.” I raised five fingers to her.

  “Five minutes.” She looked down at her watch. “Don’t do anything stupid. He’s not Bruce. Keep your hands in your pockets if you have to,” she urged as she cupped my face and looked me straight in the eye.

  I laughed and squeezed my right hand. “My hand feels better. That motherfucker isn’t worth any permanent damage.”

  “Rick, assess your surroundings.” She was giving me the pep talk she’d given me every week before I had gone to see Daniela. “Read him. Do not react emotionally. Stay
in control. Sell it.”

  “I got this, babe.” I winked at her.

  Then, I confidently walked through the doors of Mark’s like I fucking owned the place. The quiet restaurant from this afternoon was now alive and buzzing. My eyes searched the room. I was so preoccupied that I didn’t notice the man in front of me, trying to get my attention.

  “Excuse me, sir. Can I help you?” asked the host that I hadn’t seen earlier.

  “No, you can’t.” I nodded politely just as I spotted Alex on the floor.

  The motherfucker cleaned up well in his designer suit, slicked back hair, and hypocritical smile. He was a con artist, kissing ass and letting people believe he gave a shit. I should know. I did it every day. His eyes broke away from his mark and landed on mine. Straightening his shoulders, he made his way to me, but not before he stopped to address a waiter, who quickly nodded his head.

  “Ross,” he greeted when he reached me.

  What an asshole. The motherfucker knows my name.

  He assessed me condescendingly “Are you dining alone? You do realize that while the tie is optional, the jacket is required. I could see if I have something in my office that might fit you. It seems we have similar tastes.”

  Alex Santana—yeah, I knew his name—was good at spotting his enemy and trying to render him powerless. I knew men like this motherfucker—personally and professionally. It was a game of chess. He wanted me to think that he’d have my queen in a matter of moves. The realization that I’d been just like him in my quest for Daniela was slightly revolting, but it wasn’t enough to distract me. It also reminded me that he had fucked with the wrong guy. A slow, calculating smile spread across my face. He saw me as a threat and that gave me the edge I needed. Considering I’d played into his hand already and he knew my fucking buttons, I couldn’t let my guard down.

  “Cut the fucking bullshit,” I told him through gritted teeth just loud enough for him to hear me.

  We stood like two fighters in a ring. He was probably an inch taller than I was, if that.

  Looking down his crooked nose at me, he shook his head. “Seems like Madison is slumming it with an inarticulate imbecile.” He shrugged. “She’s done worse.”