Dev Haskell Box Set 8-14 (Dev Haskell - Private Investigator)

by Mike Faricy

  “Yeah, he’s supposed to hang onto it, show it to her, but not hand it over.”

  “Looks like he’s following directions and she seems happy enough.”

  “I might know that woman he’s talking to, she’s the sister of the guy I suspect on your ATM heist.”

  “So that would be good news.” Dondavitch said.

  “Yeah, well at least for you. It might also mean that idiot is still covered in red dye from the ATM or he would be there talking to my guy. If she’s who I think she is, she may be driving a red BMW convertible.”

  “God, but you do get around.”

  “I can only hope it’s her.”

  “Your guy is pulling that bakery box closer to him. He had two enormous platters of scrambled eggs in front of him, he’s pushing the one away and starting in on the second. Jesus, I can’t believe it.”

  “What?”

  “Just the amount of food he’s going through. It doesn’t look like he’s missed too many meals.”

  “He’s just getting warmed up. How’d you like to have him join you in the shower or rolling over on you at about three in the morning?”

  “I’m telling you there wouldn’t be room. She’s waving away the waitress with coffee. You’re guy is picking up his eating pace. Might be getting ready to go.” Then I heard her say, “Put a ten on the table for our coffee and let’s wait in the car.”

  I could hear background noise, but Dondavitch wasn’t talking. I wasn’t sure what was happening until she came back on some minutes later.

  “We’re in the car, waiting. There’s a pickup on the far side of the lot with rental info painted on the door, that your guy?”

  “White truck with green lettering?”

  “That’s the one.”

  “Then that’s my boy.”

  “We’re gonna sit until they come out, I’ll call you when we have a direction. You’re off the shoulder?”

  “Yeah, I’m backed into a space in the lot.”

  “Just stay there until we know what direction they’re going. Don’t leave the lot, they could be heading your way.”

  “Got it.”

  A few minutes later she said, “Looks like they’re heading back onto the interstate. God, I hope they don’t go east into Wisconsin.” A minute later she said, “Okay, good, they’re heading west, back toward town.”

  I turned my car on, waited for some guy to creep past me trying to decide which one of the four empty spaces he should pull into. Naturally, he chose the one right next to me. He came to a complete stop, waited a moment before slowly backing up and cutting my exit off. He sat there for a moment, apparently wondering how to put his car back into drive.

  I honked the horn at him a couple of times which only seemed to add to his confusion, finally he moved forward into the space, pulling in about a half inch from the side of my car. I cranked the wheel and pulled out of the lot then accelerated, picking up speed in an effort to catch up.

  I needn’t have worried. Luscious was setting the pace. I picked up the phone and talked to Dondavitch. “I’m just coming down the entrance ramp heading West on 94. How far off are you guys?”

  “Probably about ten feet in front of you. What’s with that pickup truck? Is he pedaling the damn thing or can it only do about thirty?”

  “I should have warned you, he’s the original cautious driver.”

  “Jesus Christ, if we drive like this all the way back to St. Paul we’ll qualify for overtime. It’ll be dark out by the time we get there at this rate.”

  “Anyone give him the finger yet when they sped past?”

  “I’m about ready to do that myself. Oh, by the way, you were right, your lady friend is driving a red BMW convertible. Flaherty, Lissa Flaherty. I got her up on the screen now, doesn’t seem to have any priors.”

  “God, I’m wondering if she’ll go to her house, or maybe her sister’s?”

  “You know the family?”

  “Know of them, don’t really know them anymore.”

  “Hey, you were right, someone just gave your guy the finger,” she laughed.

  We drove along the interstate, heading back into St. Paul. Eventually we passed all the downtown exits, slowly made our way past the Capitol, then the Cathedral, we drifted past the next three exits and then Luscious followed Lissa’s red BMW when it took the Snelling Ave. exit off the interstate. Dondavitch relayed the information to me bringing up the rear.

  “Thank God, we’re taking the Snelling exit. God, following at that speed we were going so slow it was damn near illegal. People were starting to give us the damn finger.”

  “If she heads north on Snelling, she more than likely is heading to her place.”

  “North it is,” Dondavitch said a minute later. “We got her address up here on the screen.”

  “You might want to alert a unit in the area.”

  “Gee, thanks for the advice, how did we ever make it this far without you? We’ve already done that.”

  Chapter Forty-Six

  A few miles later, we all took a right off Snelling onto Arlington. A small parade of four vehicles, with Lissa’s BMW in the lead and Luscious governing the pace in the rental pickup just behind her. Dondavitch held back a good block behind them. As I made the turn off Snelling, I caught the tail end of Lissa’s BMW before it turned into an alley. Luscious followed behind her in the pickup. I pulled to the curb two blocks behind Dondavitch.

  “Haskell,” Dondavitch half screamed into the phone. I could see her car pulled over with the break lights on. I couldn’t tell the make, some sort of nondescript Ford or Chevy I figured. It looked like she was almost at the entrance to the alley Lissa and Luscious had driven down just a moment before.

  “Yeah?”

  “We’ve got a squad ready to come down at the far end of the alley. Let’s give your gal a few minutes. When I give you the go-ahead, I want you to knock on the front door, that will probably send them out the back.”

  “Did you tell that other squad about Luscious, that he’ll be in there and he’s one of us?”

  “Yes, they have a description, I suspect he’ll be rather hard to miss.”

  “Just so they know.”

  “They know.”

  A few minutes later Dondavitch said “Okay we’re ready. Here’s what I want, Haskell. You just knock on the front door. Don’t go in, we’ll be coming around the back. The uniforms will pound on the back door.”

  “It’s on the north side of the house, the back door.”

  “Thanks, the two of us will come around the side and join you at the front. Give us half a minute to get in position before you go. You aware of any dogs, any locked gates?”

  “No dogs, as far as I know. There’s a fence around the back yard, but I think there’s a gate on all sides, no locks that I can remember.”

  “Then we’re all set, and let’s go, thirty seconds, Haskell, remember give us thirty seconds.”

  I saw the brake lights go off on her vehicle, she quickly turned into the alley and disappeared from view. I drove down toward Lissa’s street slowly counting. When I reached twenty, I turned onto the street and headed for her house. I was able to pull to the curb right in front of her place.

  The house was a two story stucco structure dating from probably the late 1930s. It had a small front porch with a roof and then next to that, running along the front was a wooden deck with a railing, a nice bench and two pots with pink geraniums.

  As I climbed out of my car, I caught sight of Dondavitch and another woman just making their way around the back corner of the house. A moment later I heard heavy pounding from the other side of the house as a deep voice bellowed, “Police. Open up,” then the pounding started again.

  I took the four front steps two at a time and was about to knock on the door just as it tore open. Lissa was in the process of rushing out with Candi right behind her. I heard a large groan from inside and my first thought was they’d done something to Luscious.

  “What the�
�Oh no, Dev, hey, sorry but this really isn’t a very good time for us, so just get the hell out of the way.”

  More pounding from the back and another, “Police. Open the door.”

  “Get your ass back inside, both of you,” I said, just as Dondavitch and her partner came up with guns drawn and badges hanging from around their neck.

  “Back off, Haskell, we got this.” Dondavitch said as she and her partner brushed past me.

  I followed them into a carpeted living room. There was a couch with a small table at one end and a flat screen at the other end. Andy’s hand carved, black walnut coffin sat on the floor in front of the couch with a deck of cards, an ash tray and a dish of M&Ms sitting on top of it.

  Luscious was in the archway leading to the dining room, he was down on the floor, or rather Tommy Flaherty was on the floor groaning and attempting to squirm with Luscious sitting on top of him. Luscious was eating a handful of M&Ms, one at a time. At first I thought Tommy was having some sort of seizure then I realized the red face and hands were probably due to the dye pack from the ATM. We were all sort of standing there staring as Luscious smiled back at us.

  A loud boom suddenly sounded from the back of the house as the door was kicked in and the two uniforms came through the kitchen and into the dining room with guns drawn shouting, “Police.”

  “Just what in the hell do you think you’re doing, Dev?” Lissa snarled then placed her hands on her hips and sort of struck a don’t screw with me pose.

  Dondavitch answered for me and said, “Put your hands on your head and get down on your knees, both of you, now, move.”

  “But, I didn’t do anything,” Candi cried.

  “Move, bitch, now.”

  I couldn’t have said it any better. One of the uniforms was helping Luscious to his feet while the other had rolled Tommy onto his stomach and was busy slapping on a set of handcuffs. Tommy just looked grateful to be sucking in huge gulps of air.

  “Yeah, I already know, I got the right to remain silent. Shit, nice work, Lissa, way to check things out,” Tommy groaned.

  “Me, more like that pimp pal of yours, Tony,” Lissa shot back.

  “Shut up, bitch.”

  “Maybe all of you should just shut up,” Dondavitch said.

  Luscious made his way into the living room and grabbed the bowl of M&Ms off the coffin. I strolled into the dining room where two more coffins were stacked one on top of the other in front of a china cabinet full of plates and little figurines. I opened the top coffin. It was half filled with cash, a lot of which was stained red.

  I wandered into the small kitchen then peeked down the dark basement stairs. I flicked on the light switch for the stairway and headed down. A few miles of clothesline was strung back and forth numerous times across the paneled basement room. Hundreds, no make that thousands of red, twenty dollar bills were paper clipped to the line and seemed to be blowing in a breeze. A couple of oscillating fans turned back and forth, at either end of the basement.

  I walked into the room where the washer and dryer stood. Two piles of clothes were neatly folded and stacked on a table against the wall. Next to the washer was a double laundry tub. It looked original to the house, deep, made of concrete and sitting on a steel frame. Both sides of the laundry tub were filled with pinkish water and looked to be crammed with more red, twenty dollar bills floating in the water signifying yet another failed attempt at criminal enterprise by Tommy Flaherty.

  I unhooked a couple of the bills from the clothesline and went back upstairs to the living room. The three Flahertys were seated with their hands cuffed behind their backs. Tommy was on the floor red-faced and looking numb. Lissa and Candi sat at opposite ends of the couch staring straight ahead. Lissa looked ready to kill and Candi softly whimpered as tears ran down her cheeks.

  “Really nice to see you again, Candi. I suppose with those handcuffs on there’s really no way you could show me what I was missing the other night.”

  “Hope you’re happy, asshole,” Lissa shouted at me from the other end of the couch.

  “Very,” I replied and smiled.

  “Transport’s on the way,” Dondavitch said.

  “Little something for you, from the basement,” I said and handed her the damp, red twenties.

  “Apparently there’s a hearse parked out in the garage. Where’d you find these?” she asked holding one of the red bills up toward the window light.

  “Basement is full of them.”

  “You’re violating my damn rights, Haskell, I demand to talk to a lawyer,” Lissa shouted from the couch.

  “You haven’t even been arrested, let alone charged yet, honey. Just settle down for a bit, you’re gonna have plenty of time to think about what you’ll say,” Dondavitch said.

  Chapter Forty-Seven

  It was well past noon by the time Luscious and I finished giving our statements to the police. The bowl of M&Ms had been emptied, twice and the empty bag lay crumpled on Lissa’s dining room table. I found Luscious in the kitchen, standing in front of the open refrigerator door scanning the contents for anything edible and not looking too happy.

  “Luscious, what are you doing?”

  “All this excitement going on I’m about to faint from hunger, Dev. Nothing but a jar of pickles and some kind of pasta sauce in here. That stuff don’t exactly thrill me.”

  “Hey, there’s a McDonald’s about a mile and a half from here. My treat if you’re interested.”

  That brought a smile to his face and he stood up, kicked the refrigerator door closed and said, “Now you’re talking, you just lead the way.”

  We said our good-byes to Detective Dondavitch. Red-dyed Tommy Flaherty was already enroute to the police station. Two detectives were in the basement gathering trash bags full of evidence. Tommy’s two lovely sisters, Lissa and Candi, remained sitting on the couch, hands still cuffed behind their backs awaiting transport.

  Candi sat there quietly sobbing with puffy eyes and mascara running down her cheeks. Lissa still hadn’t lost any of the anger from two hours earlier and in fact appeared to be even more enraged. She sneered at me as I walked from the dining room over to the couch. Luscious followed behind, stopping to double check the crumpled M&M bag for crumbs.

  “Gee, sorry to dash off like this, girls, but I’m afraid we’ve got another appointment, otherwise I’d stay and chat.”

  “Can’t you do something? I’m really sorry, but we didn’t know,” Candi sobbed.

  “I’ll kill you, Dev. I swear to God, I’m going to kill you,” Lissa hissed.

  “Detective, did you hear that, a death threat. Can she do that? Isn’t there some sort of law against that sort of thing?”

  “I think we’ll be able to add that to her list of charges,” Dondavitch said. Then she took out a pen and wrote something down in a pocket size spiral notebook. When she’d finished, she held the notebook up so I could read what she’d written. “Very angry bitch.” She’d drawn a smiley face sort of image, but with a frown just after that.

  “Yes, that will be perfect. Gee, I guess I’ll just have to say farewell, girls. It’s been a real pleasure, payback can be such fun. You’ll probably be old and grey by the time you get out, if you ever do get out. Enjoy the vacation,” I said.

  “Old and grey?” Candi whined, looked over at her sister and then began to sob uncontrollably.

  “Shut up, Candi, he doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about and by the way, you were the worst lay I ever had, Dev. You hear me, the worst, ever. Ev-er,” Lissa screamed from the couch as we stepped outside.

  “You know her, personally, like?” Dondavitch asked out on the front porch.

  “Yeah, both of them, from years back, but I didn’t know they were involved in this thing until Lissa showed up at Denny’s this morning. What do you think they’ll get?” I asked.

  “The brother will probably get up to twenty years. He’s got a list of priors as long as your arm. The girls, unless I missed something, it’s a first f
or both of them. Probably five years probation, pee in a paper cup for sixty months and promise to behave. Even if they were involved in the ATM heist, they can dodge that without too much trouble, well, unless the brother turns, but that’s not going to happen.”

  “What a bunch of idiots, must be something in the gene pool.”

  “That’s a pretty strong indictment coming from the likes of you, Haskell,” she said and smiled.

  Luscious had pulled the pickup truck around the block and I could see him coming down the street.

  “Glad I could be of help, how long will you hang onto those coffins.”

  “God, what a creepy deal that is. Maybe they’ll make ‘World’s Dumbest Criminals.’ How long? Depends on when they’re brought to trial. They all plead guilty that speeds things up. Be at least a couple of months. Is there a rush?”

  “No, I guess not.”

  Luscious honked the horn on the pickup and motioned me toward the street.

  “Looks like my crime fighting partner is getting anxious, I better go.”

  “Thanks again, I mean it. Things were getting cold on the ATM, so we all appreciate the help.”

  Luscious honked the horn again.

  “Better hurry, he’s no doubt wasting away,” Dondavitch said.

  “We’re about to take care of that. If you could find it in your heart to keep the ladies locked up for an extended time in maybe your grimiest cell, it would be okay with me,” I said then hurried to my car before Luscious died of hunger.

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  I retrieved the envelope with cash from Luscious. I’d learned from past experience that it would work best if we went inside to eat rather than attempting to cram a couple hundred pounds of Big Macs and fries into the car.

  Luscious was easily the size of any four individuals in the place and he hurried to a booth in the back carrying two trays mounded with food and three strawberry shakes. He inhaled a double cheeseburger along the way just to keep his strength up. I carried the tray with all the desserts plus my cheeseburger and small coke. More than a few heads turned as we passed, then they would lean forward to whisper to one another once they realized it was just the two of us and all that food. I noticed the young woman who took our order leaning over the counter to watch as Luscious waddled toward the rear booth.