Ellenessia's Curse Book 1: The Shadow's Seer

by Fran Jacobs

  Gerian looked uncomfortable. "It was for your own good, Candale."

  "My own good?" I snapped, totally indignant. "I don't see how!"

  My father walked through my room towards my window and peered out, his hands pressed against the cold glass. I sat there, staring at him, glaring at his back, willing him to answer me and he did, eventually, when my own anger had built up to a level where I was nearly ready to shout at him. His words quashed that almost instantly. "You're a strange boy, Dale," my father said, "and you frighten me."

  "I frighten you?" It seemed to me to be the most remarkable thing that I had ever heard. How could I frighten him, frighten anyone? I was a skinny, clumsy excuse for a prince. He was a neat, orderly man, how I wanted to be, how I hoped to be, one day. I didn't understand how he could say this to me at all, so seriously. And I knew that this wasn't some strange new way to mock or tease me. He meant this. I frightened him!

  "Yes." He turned around and leaned back against the window-ledge, pressing his back to the glass. "When I was your age I was always getting into some sort of trouble, doing things that made my father despair of me and I always thought that my son would behave the same way, just as Sorron had behaved that sort of way before me. Only you didn't. You've always been a good boy. We never had any trouble with you except for when your curiosity led you astray. You've never behaved in any way that was unfitting, you've never come back drunk from a tavern, never got yourself into a fight, never disappeared for days on end with no warning, and ..." he hesitated, looking very uncomfortable, "and the fact that no woman has gotten so much as a kiss from you is well known around Court." I felt my cheeks flush. "Candale, it's not that we want you to behave in a way like that, but we always prepared ourselves for the fact that you would. But you never did. When other men were telling their sons not to seduce the maidservants, I had to tell you not to climb out onto the roofs of the castle. When other men were telling their sons not to get drunk in public and cause a scene, I had to tell you not to go off exploring the old prison cells under the castle. You're unpredictable and that frightens us. We don't know what you're going to do next, so we don't know how to handle you." He dropped his hands into his lap, his fingers rubbing his wedding band. "And when you started talking about White Oaks, and showed me those bruises on your wrists, and I could see the fear and desperation in your eyes, I panicked. I feared that you would speak of this to the wrong person, that it would spread around Court and get back to the Order. I feared that they would see this as further proof in their mad belief of what you are and be more open and aggressive with their attacks. And, more than that, I feared that you would simply run away, that if I didn't grant you permission to leave, you would just sneak out, and that terrified me, Candale. I panicked and had Davn escort you here before I knew what I was doing. But when you were safely in your rooms, your grandfather and I were able to talk and we decided that it was for the best in the long run. That we should keep you here, keep you safe, until it was too close to winter for even you to consider running away. And that was what we did."

  I felt a cold sense of satisfaction seep through me. They were underestimating me and how much I wanted to go to White Oaks. Yes, they knew me well enough to know that I would try and run, something which surprised me, but they didn't know me well enough to know that I would brave the snow to get to White Oaks. If my father was here to free me, he was going to quickly find that nothing was going to change my mind about this. It meant too much to me. But I knew better than to let on about that. "Well," I snapped, "it doesn't matter if you only meant to trap me until it was too late for me to run, you have broken me. I won't mention White Oaks again. I won't bother to tell you how worried I am or how frightened or about my dreams or anything like that, no. I will sit here like a good, quiet little boy and wait for the spring, just like you want me to."

  Gerian flinched and looked visibly distressed. "Broken you?" he said. "Candale, no, that wasn't what we wanted to happen, not really."

  "Not really?" I asked.

  I saw hurt in his eyes. "I love you, son," he said. "I wasn't trying to 'break you'. I was trying to do my best for you. If you had run away from us, who knows what could have happened to you. You could have had a fit on the road and died, choking on your own tongue or your vomit. You could have been found and killed by this Order. It's very likely they have other spies here at Court. You must have realised that!" I nodded, reluctantly. I had, but it wasn't something I cared to think about, that another friend might be a traitor. "Or you might have been taken captive held for ransom or used to blackmail the family. We didn't know what you were capable of doing, Candale, or what others were capable of doing to you! So we did the only thing we could to keep you safe. I'm sorry that it hurt you and I'm sorry that it came to this, but it's over now. Winter is almost upon us. We won't keep you in your rooms any longer. I know that, in time, you will come to understand why we did this."

  "I doubt that," I said.

  "When you have children of your own, you'll understand," Gerian said. "I can promise you that." He tilted his head. "Besides, your respite seems to have done you some good. You look a lot better than the last time that I saw you."

  "It certainly gave me enough thinking time," I said, "to come to terms with what had happened, especially as I had no visitors to interrupt me."

  Gerian flinched again. "We didn't think that you would want to see us," he replied. "The one thing we are all aware of about you, Candale, is how long you can stay angry."

  "So you left Trellany here to face that anger alone?" I asked softly, trying to lighten this conversation a little. His frank admission that he'd just been trying to protect me, to do his best for me, made it hard for me to remain angry with him.

  Gerian smiled faintly. "I'm sure she didn't take any nonsense from you, Candale. There was a reason why we chose her to be your bodyguard, other than the fact that she saved your life."

  "That is very true," I said.

  There was a pause, then my father moved away from the window. "I'd better leave you," he said. "We are still trying to keep all of this from your mother and sister and the rest of the Court, of course. I trust you not to say anything."

  "Of course," I said. "What excuse did you give about why you had me sent to my rooms?"

  "That you'd requested to leave the castle, that you wanted to get away for a while because you were upset over Lykeia's death and everything that had happened, and made a fuss when we refused." He shrugged. "Anyway, I'll expect to see you in the hall for supper tonight. And tomorrow, after breakfast, you will continue your lessons. I'm sure when life gets back to normal it will become easier to put all this behind us."

  "You've found me a new tutor?" I asked.

  "We have found three," he said, with a smile. "Your grandfather, Kal and myself." I stared at him and his grin grew. "There is a new teacher for the others, but for you, my prince, you're going to learn from your family." He gave a shrug. "It seemed the best way to prepare you for your future as king."

  "Why Kal?" I asked.

  "Languages," Gerian replied. "Neither your grandfather, nor I, have that much skill when it comes to them. Kal does, so he will teach you languages. Trellany will continue with your sword work, and everything else, history, politics, diplomacy, foreign affairs and so forth will be split between your grandfather and me."

  "Oh." I returned the smile faintly.

  Gerian nodded and started to move towards my bedroom door.

  "Would you really have sent me away to Mother's parents?" I asked him.

  Gerian laughed and turned back around to face me. His eyes were bright, sparkling with mischief, and I realised then that he had never intended to send me away. "No, gods no," he said. "Did you believe that I would?" I nodded. He laughed again. "Candale, I wouldn't even send your mother back to her parents!" I laughed at that. "No, son, that was just a threat, one I hoped would prevent me from having to resort to this."

  And then he left me.

  "I
have written to White Oaks," Sorron announced one morning during my lesson with him. I had done my best to avoid mentioning White Oaks since I'd been released from my rooms, so I was a little shocked that Sorron had brought it up. "I sent a messenger while you were, well, incarcerated, asking for someone to come here with the Rose Prophecies and to talk to us about it. I had hoped that Calran might be able to make it here before the spring, after all, but a message came this morning to say that Calran will be honoured to come and will start to make plans and preparations now, but spring really is the earliest that he can make it. Transporting a book of that age will take a lot of preparation and he doesn't think that the book would survive the trip in the winter weather, even if the winter was a safe season for men to travel, which we both know it's not."

  I shrugged and feigned boredom, pretending not to be interested in this bit of news at all. "Well, spring will have to do then. Thank you for sending the message."

  My grandfather gave me a suspicious look. "I would have thought that you would be a little more excited about this, Dale. It is what you wanted."

  "I learnt my lesson," I said, "to not let my foolish desires carry me away. I was acting like an idiot, being unreasonable and overemotional. You and father were right. The bruises weren't proof of anything and I shouldn't have let my head get carried away like that." I gave him what I hoped was a bright smile. "Put it down to my love of fanciful stories and songs."

  Sorron studied me silently, his hands resting on the open page of the boring book I had been reading. "I wish that I could, Candale," he said. "But I know you better than that. I know that you believe all this. I'm disappointed that you feel you must lie to me. To your father, I understand, to me, no. You can always speak your mind with me."

  I should have known that I couldn't fool my grandfather or mother either. Both had always been able to see through any lie that I had told. "And be locked away in my chambers again?" I said, and pushed back my chair as I got to my feet. "I don't think so. No, grandfather. I'm going to bite my tongue before I ever mention White Oaks again. Yes, I'm glad you've sent for this Calran and I thank you for it. And yes, I do believe I'm the Seer, but I'm not going to say another word about any of it until the spring." I reached out to gather up my parchment, quills and ink pots. "Now, if you excuse me, I'm late for my lesson with Kal."

  Disappointment shone in Sorron's eyes, but he knew better than to voice it. "Then I will see you tomorrow."

  "Yes, sir. Tomorrow."

  It was awkward for me to have lessons with Kal. Not because of the teasing so much, I had expected that, but because I found languages so hard and I hated him seeing me as such an idiot. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't grasp the concept that lay behind structure of foreign languages, just as Sorron and Gerian before me had been unable to. It ran in the family, that we were linguistically inept, and just as it had been insisted that they study languages, they insisted that I do the same, no matter how little progress I ever seemed to make.

  This session, however, was harder than usual because at the end of it I was going to ask Kal for his help in leaving White Oaks. I found it hard to concentrate simply because I didn't know how he was going to react.

  When the session ended I told Kal what I needed him to do, watching as his face took on a look of extreme discomfort. I hated having to involve him, it made me feel as uncomfortable as he looked, but I knew that I was going to need Teveriel's help with planning the journey. I didn't know how far I could trust Trellany, so I needed Kal's help so that I could meet with the bard in secret, as my lessons were the only time when Trellany left my side, standing guard outside the room rather than inside. And I couldn't very well have my father or grandfather bring Teveriel to see me either.

  "Just bring Teveriel here," I asked him. "Please? I have to leave Carnia Castle, for a while and I want Teveriel to help me." In truth I wanted Teveriel to go with me. The whole prospect of leaving Carnia Castle, though exciting, was terrifying, too.

  "Isn't that why you were locked away?" Kal asked me. "Because you wanted to leave the castle and your father refused?"

  "Yes," I said uncomfortably.

  Kal frowned. "I don't know, Dale. Prince Gerian clearly feels very strongly about this, he would never have done something so drastic as locking you away, if he didn't. And you don't really know Teveriel that well and ... and the road, this time of year, it's dangerous and ... and you might have a fit and-"

  "Kal," I said, in a firm voice. "I am going to leave. This is something that I have to do, but I'm not stupid. I know that I don't know the road, that I might have a fit. That's why I want Teveriel to come with me."

  "Why can't I come with you?" Kal asked, sounding hurt. "You can trust me. Why does it have to be Teveriel?"

  "Because I don't want to get you into any trouble so close to your betrothal ceremony with Aylara," I replied, not really wanting to tell him that I trusted Teveriel with secrets that I didn't want Kal to know. If Kal hadn't been about to be betrothed to Aylara then maybe I would have been able to tell him about Mayrila. But I couldn't tell him that, or anything else, knowing he was going to be family and would have to keep those secrets from my sister, his wife. "Kal, please. You know me well enough to know that when I say I have to do something there's always a good reason for it."

  "Yes," Kal said, reluctantly.

  "And if there was any other way for me to do this, then I would, believe me, but there isn't. Please, Kal, you're my friend, you're like a brother to me. I trust you and I need you. Please, please help me with this!"

  "All right," Kal said softly. He sighed. "All right. I'll help you."

  "And, please, don't tell Aylara any of this, not until I've gone, all right?"

  "All right," Kal said again, but his brown eyes were sad as they had looked at me, unhappy that he was caught up in this situation, just as I was unhappy that I had been forced to involve him like this.

  The same sad look was present in his eyes the following day when I came into his quarters and found Teveriel waiting for me.

  "This is all very mysterious," the bard said, with a smile.

  "Yes," I agreed, sitting down. "I need you to help me, Teveriel, if you would."

  "Of course." I glanced at Kal who nodded and, with a heavy sigh, made himself scarce.

  When he'd gone I moved closer towards Teveriel, not wanting Trellany, who was outside the room, or Kal, in his bedchamber, to overhear what I was going to say. "I have to leave," I said, in a quiet voice. "I have to go to White Oaks and see the Rose Prophecies. I can't wait until spring and I need you to help me. Well, I want you to come with me, really."

  "All right," Teveriel said simply. "When do you want to leave?"

  His question caught me off guard. I hadn't thought he would be so willing to agree and now that he had put me on the spot I wasn't sure what to say. "Soon," I said finally. "As soon as possible."

  "Hmm." He scratched his chin. "Give me a few days to get everything together. I'll tell Kal to tell you when I'm ready. I suppose Trellany isn't to know?"

  "No."

  "How will you get away from her?"

  I chewed on my lip as I gave it some thought. It was the only thing I hadn't truly considered. Well, no, not the only thing. I hadn't thought about food either or a leaving date. I wasn't sure what I had been thinking about, if I was honest with myself. A big adventure, of slipping away from the castle, of the open road and nights under the stars, I certainly hadn't thought about anything important, least of all how I was going to achieve any of this. "I don't know," I said finally. "I'm sorry, Tev. I haven't thought this through very clearly."

  "No," he said. "You haven't. But don't worry, I can handle this. Perhaps I'll get something from the apothecary in town, a sleeping potion or something that you can put in her drink. You can leave the bottle behind, with a note explaining what happened, so that she doesn't get in trouble for not doing her job properly when you're discovered missing."

  "Yes," I said, nodding. "Yes, t
hat sounds like a good idea. You can give them to Kal to pass onto me. Although I hate involving him like this, I don't think there is any other way we can do this without arousing suspicion."

  "No," Tev agreed. "You will need to pack, of course. Simple clothes so you don't stand out, perhaps something with a hood, to hide your face as we're leaving, and make sure they're warm, too. The snows are not far off."

  "I know. That was why father locked me away, to waste my time before the snows came. He was afraid I'd sneak away and he wanted to make it harder for me to do so."

  "Travelling through the snow is hard and unpleasant, but that's all. It's not impossible. One of the big mysteries to me, since I got back to Carnia and arrived at the castle, is how all the courtiers seem to regard the snow as a big immobiliser, that they can't possibly go riding or hunting or travel anywhere, because of it. It makes things a little more difficult, yes, but that's as far as it goes."

  I wanted to ask him how long it had been since he'd actually witnessed a Carnian winter and whether he could have been spoilt by warmer winters spent in other kingdoms, because it was more than just a 'little difficult' when the snow came. Some years we got reports of roads being totally lost under piles of snow, of people going missing out in the White Wilderness, as the countryside became known in the winter, and, occasionally, of people being snowed in for weeks, sometimes longer. But I didn't say any of this to Teveriel, because I didn't want him to change his mind about coming with me. Instead I just sat silently and Teveriel continued. "Leave everything to me, Candale," he said. "Horses, food, blankets and so on. I'll take care of everything."

  "Thank you." I swallowed. "Tev, you ... you do know what you're risking here, don't you? My life may be in danger. Yours, too, if you're found with me. Are you sure about this?"

  "I can't let you go alone. Someone has to keep an eye on you."

  I bit my lip to stop me from retorting that I didn't need someone to 'keep an eye' on me. I wasn't a child, I just wanted company and someone who could show me the ropes, as it were. "You do know what you might be giving up?" I asked instead. "When my father eventually catches up with us ..." I hesitated as the thought of exactly what Gerian would do to me popped briefly into my head. "Well, he won't be very happy with either of us. He still thinks that you're untrustworthy. He might have you arrested, or perhaps even banish you from Court ... I will stand up for you, you know that. I will try and dissuade him from whatever he might want to do, but I just want you to understand the risks before you agree to this."