Ellenessia's Curse Book 1: The Shadow's Seer

by Fran Jacobs

  Trellany rolled her eyes at me. "Honestly," she said, "I don't know what's worse, your curiosity, or your innocence."

  "Well?" I snapped. "What things?"

  "How to prevent babies," Trellany replied. "And things like that. If your sister and Kal are going to start messing around together outside wedlock, then they will have to be careful. Your father and mother don't want any bastards."

  "Any more bastards," I said bitterly. "They have one already."

  Trellany pretended I hadn't spoken as she continued, though she did give me a hard look. "Your mother will probably give her some advice, what to do, how to control Kal so that things don't go too fast, that sort of thing, which is all pretty useless and irrelevant now I think."

  "Why?" I asked.

  "Because they're already sleeping together," Trellany replied. "That's why."

  "They are?" I swallowed back a sudden lump that had formed in my throat. "H-how do you know that?"

  "It's in her eyes," Trellany replied, loosening the last of her hair from the braid. "I noticed it as soon as we got back from White Oaks, the way she looked at him, the way she smiled. It was a long winter, cold and boring, especially without you around to keep them company. I had expected it, to be honest."

  "H-how can you be so sure?" I whispered.

  "It's in her eyes, Candale," Trellany repeated. "And anyone who wants to see it will. Your parents don't want to see it, they don't want to see their daughter as growing up, as doing things like that, but with the betrothal coming up they have to accept it's a possibility that it might happen. But it already has, I'm sure of that."

  "Oh." I swallowed again and got to my feet. "I'm going to bed."

  "It will happen for you, too," Trellany said calmly, as I made my way towards my bedroom and sanctuary, "if you give any woman half the chance."

  "Goodnight," I said instead, and shut my bedroom door behind me, firmly blocking out any more advice that Trellany might decide to give me.

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  * * *

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  BY THE LAKE

  I awoke to the sound of familiar voices, talking around me. Silver and Trellany. My body was cramped, my legs, which were curled up beneath me, had gone to sleep, and my neck ached from where my head had lolled against my shoulder. For a moment I wasn't sure where I was, why my body ached or why I wasn't lying in my own warm bed, and then I remembered. I'd fallen asleep in a chair in the sitting room.

  Like most nights, I'd had trouble sleeping. I'd lain in bed for hours, tossing and turning, trying to relax and go off to sleep, but I'd found it impossible to get comfortable or for my mind to stop thinking about my vision and the idea of my sister and oldest friend having sex. After a few hours I had decided to get up and do what I had done the previous three nights, put on my new boots and practise dance steps for Aylara's betrothal ball. It wasn't that I needed the practise, I really just wanted to break in my new boots, but I had found that it had helped to tire me out and let me catch an hour or two of sleep before breakfast. But this time it hadn't worked and, after another two hours of restlessness and plumping my pillow, I had given up completely, gotten out of bed and gone to read a book in the sitting room, where I must have eventually fallen asleep. And, thankfully, it had been a sleep free from nightmares, which was a miracle after the vision I'd had.

  I didn't move, when I realised where I was, even though my legs were really painful. Instead, I remained still, my eyes squeezed shut, listening to my friends talk, about me.

  "I don't think he's even aware," Trellany said quietly.

  "What, that he's restless?" Silver laughed. "I think he's aware of that."

  "Not that," Trellany sighed. "About the other thing, the way he stares off and doesn't blink, as though he isn't in his head anymore."

  "No," Silver agreed. "I don't think he is. He does have a lot on his mind, of course."

  "I'm not saying that he doesn't." I heard footsteps and then the creaking of furniture as Trellany sat down. "I'm just saying that I'm worried about him. He talks in his sleep a lot more as well, when he does finally get to sleep, that is. I'm not really sure how long any of this has been going on for. I've definitely noticed it since we got back to Carnia Castle, the talking in his sleep and the way he seems to drift off while we're talking to him --"

  "And the talking to himself," Silver added.

  "Yes, that as well, and the sudden mood swings. It's more noticeable now, but that doesn't mean it wasn't happening before. I've spent so much time with Candale that I haven't been aware of these things because they seemed to have happened so gradually. But when I was ill I wasn't able to spend a lot of time with him, nor on the journey back, and now that we're in a close proximity again, I can see the changes more clearly. Even Candale has to be aware of it by now. That he isn't sleeping well, even if he isn't aware of anything else."

  "Perhaps all of this is just because he's tired," Silver suggested. "It would explain the bad moods, the lack of concentration --"

  "The talking to himself?" Trellany asked sharply.

  "Well, everything except that," Silver conceded. "But we can't deal with that. We can deal with the insomnia. Then we can see if everything else goes away with it."

  "How? Candale won't ask for help."

  "Speak to the healer, get the drought and give it to him. If Candale finds it that hard to sleep, I'm sure he'll take it gratefully. If he doesn't, well, there are other ways ..."

  "Yes," Trellany said quietly. "Yes, you're right."

  They fell silent then and, after a small pause, I made a soft moaning sound, shifted, and opened my eyes. Silver was sitting on the couch opposite me, his hands resting on his knees and Trellany was sprawled in her chair, with her legs stuck out in front of her, crossed at the ankle.

  "Hello," I said, and untangled my very cramped legs. I set them down on the floor with a satisfied sigh, although the sudden rush of blood back to those dead legs was very painful. I stamped my feet hard, trying to speed up the process and get them back to life. "I can't believe I fell asleep here."

  "You haven't been sleeping well," Trellany said. "I hear you pacing around at nights."

  "I'm practising dance steps," I told her. "To break in my new boots."

  "Oh." She laughed, but it sounded strained. "Still ..."

  "I know. I know." I stretched out my long legs and arms, gave a tired yawn, and then curled back up again. "I'll talk to the healer when we return tonight, get something made up for me."

  I saw them exchange relieved glances, glad that I'd been thinking along the same lines that they had. The fact that the idea only occurred to me after they I had overheard them talking about it, wasn't something I was going to share with them.

  "I had breakfast brought up," Trellany said then. "When you've eaten and washed, we will go and round up the others and get going."

  "Yes." I got to my feet slowly. "That sounds like a good plan."

  I washed and shaved quickly and then headed into my bedroom to get dressed. As I pulled on my clothes, my mind went over and over what my friends had been saying about me. They had noticed that I sometimes drifted away during a conversation, that I was short tempered and restless, but they had also noticed me talking to myself, something I was completely unaware of. A part of me hoped that it was as simple as Silver had suggested, that I was just tired and it was affecting me in various ways, but another part of me found it difficult to dismiss it like that, especially when madness had been predicted for the Shadow Seer.

  I was lacing my breeches when there was a knock on my door. "Yes?" I called, over my shoulder, and it opened as Sorron came in.

  "How are you after yesterday?"

  "I'm fine," I said, turning around to face him. "Father has given me the day to myself, to keep Kal distracted, so that's what I'm going to do, but really, sir, I'm fine. I didn't need this."

  "Your father insisted," Sorron said. He seated himself on the edge of my, as of yet, unmade bed. "But th
at's not why I came here. I want to talk to you about getting you some help for all of this."

  "Help? I don't think that's necessary. I felt the vision coming on, I left the hall and no one saw me. It's all right."

  "You didn't make it very far from the hall," Sorron said. "And everyone was aware that you needed to leave. I'm not sure we can keep using your fits to explain all this after all, especially when your father is so overprotective. He will insist that you take it easy, each time, and I can't keep allowing that. It will create doubt about your strength and capabilities as heir."

  "Yes," I said. "I thought the same."

  "Mayrila always said that she could help you with your visions. That that was why she wanted to keep you. I think we need to look into finding someone who can do that for you now."

  "You're going to ask Mayrila to come to the castle?" I asked.

  "No," Sorron said. "Not Mayrila, but another seer?"

  I pulled my tunic on over my head. "I don't know," I said. "I'm not really happy about the idea that someone else will know about me."

  "But they will be bound on a Truth Stone, son. They won't be able to tell anyone what they know."

  "But they will still know it," I said. "And that I'm a bastard, too, I guess. And ... and what if they're found to be lying? What if you ask them, when you go to bind them, if they can be trusted with what you have to tell them and the Truth Stone reveals that they can't? You will have to send them away again, search for another seer, while knowing that the first seer is out there, aware that something is going on here at the castle." Sorron's brow creased. "I ... I don't think that I need any help --" I paused, as the words of my friends, and the way I had shouted at my father for no real reason, came back to haunt me. "But if you think that I need someone, then I think that it ought to be Mayrila."

  "Candale --"

  "You would have to have her brought here in secret, of course, but you would have needed to do that with any seer you asked to help me anyway. And we already know that she's been bound, that she can't tell anyone about me and ... and I know her. I'll find it easier to talk to someone I already know."

  "She isn't a seer, Candale. I want the best help for you that I can get."

  "I know that, sir." I climbed up onto the bed beside him, my boots in hand, and jammed my feet into them. "But Mayrila does know about the Shadow Seer, another prophet might not. And I-I'm not like other seers. For all we know, what I see, how my gift works, might be very different from theirs and they might be unable to help me after all. I know that there is no guarantee that Mayrila can help me either, but she always said that she could, and I think that we have to take that chance. I don't think we have a lot of choice."

  "All right," Sorron said reluctantly. "All right. I'll contact her. I'll ask her to come here, after Lara's betrothal."

  "Thank you."

  "But," he said, getting to his feet, "as you insist on her, I will want you to do me a favour in return."

  I wanted to point out that getting someone to help me had actually been his idea, that I hadn't insisted on Mayrila, she was just the best option that we had, but I knew better than to point this out. "What sort of favour?" I asked.

  "I'll let you know," Sorron said, with a mischievous grin. He leaned over and ruffled my curls. "Have a good day, Dale."

  "Thank you," I said.

  I finished dressing when he'd gone and then had a quick, light breakfast, before I went to find Kal and Teveriel, to invite them to join me, and my guards, for a ride.

  Teveriel had to be woken from his sleep, but he eagerly agreed to come out riding with me, an eagerness that died when he realised Kal would be there, too. Kal was exactly the same. I was puzzled as to why they both seemed to dislike each other so much, when they had hardly spent any time together that I was aware of, but as neither changed their mind about coming, I paid it no more thought.

  We met in the stables an hour later, Teveriel carrying several large cloth bags that contained our lunch and, as soon as our mounts were saddled and the bags were fastened, we set off on our way.

  It felt good to be back in the saddle, to have the wind blowing my hair back from my face, to smell the fresh spring air and be free of the grey stone walls of Carnia Castle. The dull thump of Midnight's hooves on the ground was in time with my pounding heart, as I cantered across the fields, heading towards the lake where I'd spent so many enjoyable summers. Kal was riding alongside me, the only one with a mount that came close to matching Midnight, even though I was holding my horse back. I knew, too well, that if I let Midnight have free rein, then no one would be able to catch us and I doubted that sort of behaviour would please my bodyguards.

  I slowed Midnight down when we neared the lake, and Kal turned to me, his face flushed with exertion and his eyes bright. "This was a great idea, Candale," he said.

  "It was my father's," I said. "He wanted me to distract you so that my mother could talk to Aylara."

  "About what?" Kal asked curiously.

  "Sex," I said awkwardly.

  Kal cleared his throat nervously, his face red now from embarrassment, not exercise. "Oh."

  "But it's too late, isn't it?" I whispered. "You two have already ... ?"

  "Yes," Kal said. "We have."

  I swallowed tightly. I had hoped that Trellany had been mistaken about her belief that Aylara and Kal were now lovers. A part of me found it hard to think of my younger sister doing something like that, when I'd only just had my first kiss. I felt jealous, resentful, that they had each other, while I had no one, and because their lives were so normal, while mine was full of secrets. I hated myself for feeling that way, but I couldn't seem able to help it.

  "How many times?" I asked softly.

  "Twice," Kal replied. He was staring doggedly ahead at the lake's shimmering surface. It was a beautiful calm day and the lake looked fresh and serene, but it wasn't really worthy of Kal's intense stare. I must have made him so uncomfortable. "The first time it was because she was worried about you. You'd been missing for about two weeks, having not yet reached White Oaks, and she was terrified that you were lying dead somewhere. I tried to comfort her and the next thing I knew she was all over me." He gave an uncomfortable laugh that sounded more like he was clearing his throat again. "I let her take charge. I think I was more afraid than she was, but she assured me she had already been to the healer, had herbs to stop her conceiving, and that she wanted it, was ready for it, so ..." He shrugged. "That was that."

  "And the second time?"

  Now Kal did look at me. "It was a very cold day. She was bored and so was I. We had been out riding, came back freezing cold and soaking wet from the snow, and it just happened. We want to take it slowly, hold back a little so we have something to look forward to for the wedding night, but, yes, we have been together, Candale."

  "Poor Mother," I said, trying to smile at him. "She's going to have a wasted afternoon."

  "Poor Aylara," Kal replied. "She's going to have an awkward and embarrassing afternoon while we're sunning ourselves on the bank of the lake."

  "Yes," I agreed, and my smile grew. "But she does deserve it. What a whore my sister is."

  "Oh, yes." Kal smiled with relief at my half-hearted teasing. "She seduced me, Candale. She totally led me astray."

  I laughed now, feeling a little easier with myself. "I missed your company," I told him. "While you were so busy with my sister, being led astray, I missed you."

  "You have new friends," Kal told me. He twisted in the saddle to look behind him at where Teveriel and Silver rode alongside each other. Then he looked back at me. "You and the bard seem close."

  "We are close," I said, with a shrug.

  "Yes."

  "Kal ... You don't have to worry. He isn't a bad influence on me, or anything like that. Do you really think my grandfather would have made him Court Bard if he thought that for one moment I was in any danger because of Tev?"

  Kal shook his head slowly. "No," he said. "No. And that wasn't what I m
eant." He twisted around to look Teveriel's way again and this time I turned around, too. Teveriel was silent; he and Silver weren't talking, they were just riding side by side. When Teveriel saw me looking his way he smiled and lifted his hand in a half-hearted wave, which he let drop when he saw that Kal was looking at him, too.

  "I don't think he wants me here," Kal said.

  "No," I said. I turned around to face the front again. The sun was getting in my eyes. It was so bright, it was hard to see without squinting, so I lifted one hand to shield my eyes as I looked at Kal. "Just as you don't want him here either." I waited for Kal to say something, to either admit that he didn't want Tev here, or to lie and say that he didn't care, but Kal said nothing. "But I imagine he only feels that way about you because he doesn't really know you or maybe because he thinks he has to be on his best behaviour. You are a lord, after all."

  "Or he feels that I'm encroaching on his territory."

  I stared at him, confused. "What are you talking about?" I asked.

  Kal looked at me, then shook his head. "You can be so naive about things, Dale," he said. Then he jerked his head towards a clump of trees by the bank of the lake. "Shall we stop there?" he suggested. "It looks like a good place to eat."

  "It's where we always eat when we come to the lake," I said.

  "Yes," he agreed. "I only said it to change the subject. I don't want to talk about this anymore, if that is all right with you."

  "That's fine," I said, forcing myself to let the subject drop.

  We rode on in silence for a few more minutes, then Kal leaned out in his saddle and touched the dragon pin that I was wearing, the one I'd been given for my birthday. "I'm glad you like my gift, Dale."

  My hand closed around the pin. "I love it," I said.

  "I knew that you would." He sat back in his saddle. "What did Teveriel get you?" He was trying to sound casual about it, but I wasn't fooled. So much for changing the subject!

  "A book," I said, trying to sound just as nonchalant, hoping that I did a better job of it. "And Silver's sister, Hazel, drew me the picture you saw on my bedchamber wall, of the stone circle." I tapped the sword at my waist. "And this was from Trellany, and --" I knew that he wasn't interested in the gifts that anyone else had gotten for me, but I also knew that I had to change the subject for fear that he would ask me exactly what book Teveriel had gotten for me, something I couldn't tell him. The best way to make Kal lose all interest in what I was saying had always been to ramble on. It was a technique I'd discovered as a child, while being questioned about something I hadn't wanted to talk about, and it actually worked on a lot of people, especially my father. It was probably part of the reason why people thought I was a little odd. It had never worked on my mother or grandfather and only occasionally with my sister, however. They could see through just about everything I did, from a well thought out lie, to an attempt to change the subject or to throw them off guard with my ramblings. And, because I knew that they could see through anything that I tried, that made me nervous when I did attempt something, which made it even more obvious to them. Thankfully they weren't here now, and Kal did lose all interest in what we had been talking about, so when I finally stopped talking our conversation turned onto more mundane matters.