Synthetic: Dark Beginning

by Shonna Wright

  “I’ll be back in a few minutes with a snack.” He was halfway down the hall when Ruby’s voice blasted into his skull. “Dammit.” He gripped his head and staggered through a secret panel into a wall tunnel that was big enough only for him and the castle rats. He scurried up a ladder and burst into a room with parquet floors fit for a palace ballroom. At the far end, past nine windows draped in thick black velvet, Ruby lay in bed with the canopy curtains closed to further encase her in gloom.

  “Come here, Ivan. Rub my feet. They’re sore from wearing those heels. I think I’ll wear my ballet slippers today.”

  “Yes mistress.” Ivan hurried up to her bed and climbed one of the posts delicately carved with serpents, then hopped onto the duvet. He tossed back the covers to uncover Ruby’s swollen, wrinkled feet and set to work rubbing the tender flesh.

  “What would I do without you Ivan? You’re the only one who cares for me. The others can go to hell.”

  “I live to serve.”

  “Good, because I have a job for you.”

  “I’m very busy right now, mistress, the living room is clean but—”

  “Take a break from all that work. No one around here gets more done than you.”

  Ivan paused while kneading Ruby’s calves and glanced up to see she was studying him. “Take a break, mistress?”

  “I want you to spy on Kora for me. She doesn’t seem to be doing any work, just moving piles of junk around the lab like a madwoman. My procedure is coming up and I’m not convinced she’s even finished with the alterations to my synthetic body.” Ruby rolled onto her side so Ivan could reach that knot of veins that gave her so much trouble. “I should follow through with my threat and start hacking off her limbs, but torture just takes so much energy, and I'm not as young as I used to be.”

  “None of us are, Mistress,” said Ivan, working Ruby's cellulite in circles. He needed to get out of this job. Today was the day he was going to find the transceiver, but that wouldn't happen if he wasted his precious time watching that blue haired witch. “How can I spy when she spends all of her time down in the lab?”

  “Go down there and join them. Become one of the gang.”

  A mocking laugh gurgled up Ivan’s throat. “I despise clickish behavior—I’m above such things.”

  Ruby shoved him with her bare foot. “Then be their servant. You definitely know how to do that.”

  “Not with them.”

  “You’re whatever I want you to be.” Ruby leaned up off her stack of pillows and her left eyelid pulsed as if an insect was trapped under the skin.

  He remembered her threat and held his tongue. “What should I look for?”

  Ruby sank back onto her pillows with a contented look on her face. “I want to know what the hell she’s doing all day. I have a feeling she’s up to something with Gus. That miserable hunchback reads too many detective novels. He has yet to return a single book to the library. I'd charge him but I know he doesn't have any money. He’s always plotting something, and I’m sure he put some outrageous idea into Kora's head.”

  “What am I supposed to do, go down and dust the beakers? They’ll be suspicious.”

  “Take them food. Feeding the guests is one of your duties that I know you neglect.”

  “Gus finds his own way to the kitchen. If I take food down there now, he’ll know something’s up.”

  “Take it to Kora, not Gus. I doubt she’s eaten since she first got here.”

  Ivan realized that this was true. He’d taken food down to her on that first day—mainly so he could check her out—then promptly forgotten about her after those rude comments.

  “But to get Gus on your side,” continued Ruby, “take down the donuts you made me for breakfast. If he seems suspicious, just tell him it’s a thanks for his excellent camera work yesterday.”

  Ivan dropped her foot. “Did you see his film? All he did were close-ups of Vaughn. You can’t even see anyone else. If you let him film your new show, that’s all it’s going to be: Vaughn’s idiotic face filling the screen.”

  Ruby pulled the duvet back over her legs. “That doesn’t matter. Right now I just need you to take the goddamn donuts down to the lab and keep tabs on Gus and Kora.”

  Ivan bowed, hopped off the bed, and disappeared through a different panel in the wall. He scurried down various ladders and through impossibly small holes until he burst through the back of a cupboard in the kitchen. He filled a cart with every type of food he could get his hands on and when it was nearly full, he packed the donuts neatly on top, making sure they didn’t get lost in the jumble of fried chicken and peeled oranges. He trundled the cart to the top of the stairs in the living room and locked it onto a mechanical arm that lifted it into the air and carried it down the wall. When they reached the bottom, Ivan unhooked the cart and steered it toward Kora’s lab where he could already hear Gus banging his stupid coffee filter against the garbage can.

  “What are you doing here, Ivan?” said Gus, eying the donuts. “Ruby sent you to spy, didn’t she?”

  Ivan kicked the wheel of the cart with his boot. “I knew it wouldn’t work. She has no idea how much I loathe you.”

  “Exactly,” said Gus, snatching up a glazed pastry and stuffing it into his mouth. “She thinks we just have a mild distaste for each other when actually it’s a deep, multifaceted hatred. Still, it’s fine with me if you want to be the castle mole.”

  “Really? You don’t care?”

  “Not at all. She’s got the place bugged anyway so even at this moment, I’m sure she’s listening in, aware that we’re aware of your betrayal.”

  Ivan frowned, unsure whether or not this was a good thing.

  Gus burst into laughter. “Actually I lied. This is probably the only room in the castle that isn’t bugged. They interfere with Kora’s machines so Ruby had to leave this room clean. She packed you off down here to fill in her blind spot.”

  “Then I’ll just make myself comfortable.” Ivan grabbed a cold chicken leg off the cart and proceeded to gnaw it like a rodent. It was the most delicious thing on the cart and he wasn't about to waste it on pastry-eating morons. “It’s not like I want to be here. I have more important things to do than listen to your lusty drivel about Vaughn.”

  “I bet you have lots of corns to chew off of Ruby’s feet.”

  Ivan stripped a fat piece of meat off the leg and dropped it in his mouth, never taking his eyes off Gus. “You have nothing to do all day but drink coffee, read idiotic detective books, and make a nuisance of yourself. I, on the other hand, have responsibilities, and if I don’t get them done there are consequences.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like having my brain scrambled at the mere press of a button. Not that you would care. You think I relish my servitude—that I live to scrub every toilet in the house and then settle down to a nice evening of waxing Ruby’s bikini line. What I’d rather be doing right now is finding the miserable device that allows Ruby to carry out this brutal torture, but instead I have to sit here and spy on your stupid hump.”

  Gus swallowed the donut he was chewing. “You know, I never really thought about your life before. Sounds horrible.” He sat down on the couch beside Ivan who immediately stood up. The hunchback had no respect for personal space. “I’d like to help you with this brain scrambling thing. Sounds like it’s right up my alley.”

  Ivan snorted as he searched the cart for more chicken. It tasted even better than it had the night before. His own culinary prowess never ceased to amaze him. “Your help is worthless. Go polish your thermos or something but leave me alone.”

  “I’m not as worthless as you think.”

  “Of course you are. What could you possibly do?”

  Gus swept off the couch to stand before Ivan like a magician. “I’ll begin with a few questions. I assume you’ve already looked around for this thing?”

  “It’s called a transceiver and yes, I’ve looked everywhere.”

  “And who originally made it—Ru
by?”

  “No, Caleb. He made it for Ruby a long time ago. At least that’s what Humphrey told me.”

  “That’s wild,” said Gus, scratching his head.

  “Caleb doesn’t remember anything about it. I grilled him all day yesterday.”

  Gus paced back and forth before the couch. “Does it work all over the house? Have you noticed if the signal is weaker, say, in the kitchen?”

  “The signal doesn't weaken until I'm five miles from the castle.”

  “Hmmm. Can't narrow it down that way, then.” Gus stared through Ivan for a minute. “Do you and Caleb ever play hide and seek?”

  Ivan tossed his chicken bone into the nearby trashcan and resumed his spot on the empty couch. “What the hell does that have to do with anything?”

  “Maybe nothing. I’m just asking.”

  Ivan wiped his fingers on a napkin and checked his clothes for grease stains. “He’s a child. Of course we play hide and seek.”

  “Where does Caleb usually hide? In the kitchen? The dining room?”

  “He always hides in his own room. He’s not very adventurous and likes to be found.”

  “That’s interesting,” said Gus, pausing with his finger pressed against his chin.

  “No it’s not. It makes the game very boring.”

  “Have you ever looked his room over for the transceiver?”

  “I clean his damn room every day. I know it better than any room in the entire house.” He'd had enough of talking to Gus, but once you got the hunchback going, he never shut up. Maybe he could bury the miserable creature in one of the wall tunnels no one knew about—they'd never find his body.

  “That’s the problem. You know it so well you don’t see it.”

  “This is ridiculous.” Ivan scowled and folded his arms over his chest.

  “I just want you to close your eyes, try to relax, and think like Caleb for a moment.” Ivan grudgingly lowered his lids. “If you were Caleb and needed to hide something, where would you put it? In some distant part of the house?”

  “No.”

  “Remember, we’re not talking about Caleb as he is now, but how he was nine years ago.”

  Ivan wrinkled his nose. “It’s too hard to remember what he used to be like. I imagine he moved around the castle more back then, but I know he still loved his room.”

  “Let me try a different direction. Would Ruby have thought to search in Caleb’s room for anything secret?”

  “I don’t know. You’ve seen Caleb’s room. There’s crap everywhere: toys and games stacked to the ceiling. She wouldn’t have the patience to go through everything.”

  “Then it would be the perfect place to hide something important. Something he didn’t want Ruby to find.”

  “I guess,” said Ivan. “Can I open my eyes now?”

  “You’ve been a great help.”

  “But we haven’t learned a thing except that Caleb loves his bedroom. I could have told you that.”

  “On the contrary,” said Gus, waving a finger in the air, “we’ve located the very room that holds your transceiver.”

  Ivan rolled his eyes. “If it were in his bedroom, I would have run across it by now.”

  “Is Caleb up? Do you think we can go have a look?”

  “I suppose. He’s watching TV right now.”

  They could hear cartoons blaring when they entered the hall. Caleb's hearing was getting worse every month so Ivan had to keep turning up the volume. “I’m back.” He tugged on Caleb's colossal arm, but the giant continued to stare at the screen where a cartoon dog with bloodshot eyes had just yanked his own brain out of his skull.

  “Are these toons really good for a giant his age?” asked Gus, gaping at the screen.

  “He loves Ren and Stimpy.”

  Gus inspected the numerous shelves lining the walls. “I forgot how many toys he has.”

  Ivan hoisted a gigantic pair of boxer shorts up off the floor and deposited them in the hamper. “He made most of them himself. Let me show you.” Ivan swung a ladder attached to a track over the shelves until it lined up against one that was less crowded than the others. He climbed up to the top and brought down a bright, purple box. “This is one he made for me in my first year.”

  Gus watched, fascinated, as Ivan pressed a button and a metal cylinder rose from the top and started to spin, projecting a holographic animation of a charming village surrounding a castle as ragtime piano music filled the air. Ivan pulled a wired glove over his hand, held it before the cylinder, and a giant with long, ragged hair appeared before a group of smiling goblins dressed in rags. Ivan moved his fingers and the giant ran after the goblins who danced ahead of him in a lively chase through an old-fashioned village. Gus laughed until the giant caught up with a goblin, pinned him to the ground with a massive foot, whipped out a jagged blade, and knifed the creature to death. Ivan always loved how the piano music seamlessly transitioned into a funeral dirge.

  “Very impressive,” said Gus when Ivan stopped the game. “Personally, I would prefer the giant gave the goblin an affectionate noogie every time he caught him, but Caleb was definitely a talented toy maker.”

  “I spent hours playing this game.” Ivan smiled fondly at the cylinder as he set it back in the box and climbed the ladder, giving the shelf a thorough dusting before returning it to the same spot. When he returned to the floor, his usual scowl was back in place. “So what do I have to say to get rid of you?”

  “Let’s talk about Ruby’s relationship with Caleb.”

  Ivan climbed a tall chair across from Caleb where his old lite-brite sat in front of him. “She doesn’t even notice Caleb unless he’s standing in her way, and then she just yells at him until he moves. I know at one time he was important to her—he’s still the main beneficiary in her will—but now that he’s little more than a baby, she has no use for him.”

  “I always assumed Ruby would leave everything to Vaughn.”

  “Well, she doesn’t plan on dying, does she? So she never bothered to update her will from thirty years ago.”

  Gus snapped back into detective mode and sauntered around the room with his hands behind his back. “What was this room like during your childhood?”

  Ivan groaned. “I have no idea. What sort of question is that?”

  “I want you to think back. What was already here when you explored it for the first time?”

  Ivan pulled a crayon from a nearby box and fiddled with it. “I can’t remember.”

  “Meditate on it for a minute. Relax and try to think.”

  Ivan ground his teeth as he snapped the crayon in half, pretending in his mind that it was Gus's twisted spine. “How the hell am I supposed to relax when you’re asking me all these stupid questions?”

  Gus found the remnant of a donut in his pocket and Ivan watched in disgust as he popped it into his mouth. “Let me ask you this last question and then I need to get out of here.”

  “And do what? Calibrate the coffee machine for the hundredth time this morning?”

  “Better than getting nowhere up here with you,” said Gus, anger flaring on his face for the first time.

  Though this interrogation was ridiculous and pointless, Ivan enjoyed insulting the hunchback. He could feel his dark mood lifting. “Fine. Ask your dumb questions.”

  “When you bitch and moan about how miserable you are, and how one of these days Ruby is going to turn your brain into a smoothie, what does Caleb do—anything?”

  “No. He doesn’t do a damn thing and I’m sick—” Ivan’s face went blank as his eyes settled on the lite-brite. He glanced up at Gus and then back down at the toy again.

  Gus followed the direction of Ivan’s stare. “What?”

  “It’s nothing.”

  “Tell me.”

  “I can’t.”

  “It might be important.”

  “It’s not.”

  “I’m beginning to understand why Vaughn strangles you all the time. Out with it!”

  “Fine.”
Ivan writhed in his chair as if the seat was suddenly burning him. Gus was the worst gossip in the entire castle and had a bizarre knack for spotting a lie. He should have gotten rid of him when he had the chance. Now he'd be stuck with the wretch until he told the truth. “Whenever I complain about this thing in my head, Caleb makes a funny drawing on his lite-brite to cheer me up.” Ivan pointed at the metal box, the pegs gleaming in the sunlight streaming through a small window high above.

  Gus bent over to look at the back of the toy. The idiot had obviously never seen a lite-brite before. “What sort of a drawing?” he asked.

  “A picture of me.” Ivan grabbed the toy and turned it to face Gus. “See? It’s already partly done.”

  Gus studied the black screen that showed a pair of stubby legs. He then looked over at Caleb who sat slumped in his chair, his eyes hooded by heavy lids as he stared at the TV with his mouth hanging open. Gus hobbled over to the TV, switched it off, and Caleb’s jaw closed as his eyes came back into focus. “Caleb, can you finish the picture you were making on the lite-brite?” Gus held pegs out before the giant like candies. Caleb stared at the chunks of plastic in Gus’s hand, a string of drool dripping from his lips, but made no move to grab them.

  “He’s still out of it,” said Ivan, catching the drool with a tissue. “A snack might wake him up.”

  “Can you show me what this picture looks like on paper?” asked Gus.

  Ivan was going to be stuck with the insufferable hunchback all night. “I can’t draw.”

  “Can you describe it to me?”

  “I don’t see how that could help anything.”

  “That’s for me to decide.”

  Ivan glared at Gus like a cornered possum. “In the drawing, I’m always doing a dance…under a rainbow.”

  “Really?” Gus burst into giggles.

  “I will not continue with this pointless charade if you’re going to make fun of me.”

  “I won’t,” said Gus, making an effort to control himself. “This might be important. Show me what it looks like.” He shoved paper and the box of crayons toward Ivan from the center of the table.

  “I can try, but he always makes it on the lite-brite and I have no patience with that damn thing.”