Synthetic: Dark Beginning

by Shonna Wright

  “Yes,” he said, his face stern. “All this time we thought you were a young, normal, attractive girl when actually you're a... harpy-doodle-emo-werelobster!”

  Kora forced a smile as Gus busted up laughing. “You got it, Gus. That's exactly what I am.”

  Chapter 23

  Vaughn sat across from Ramon on a low couch in the corner of the main feasting tent. Every few minutes, a young woman knelt beside him and offered her wrist, but he shook his head.

  “You’re not hungry tonight?” asked Ramon.

  Vaughn glanced at Ramon’s plate where a large chunk of roast pork sat untouched. He felt a wave of hunger and looked away. “I don’t feel well.”

  Ramon leaned back against a pile of cushions and folded his arms behind his head. “I saw that blue-haired girl everyone is talking about up in Humphrey’s shack today. She’s cute, in a girlish way. Didn't seem your type at all.”

  “Everyone seems to know my type better than I do. Exactly who’s talking about her?”

  “Max. He’s telling everyone that she’s here to turn Ruby into an immortal vampire. The old man has finally lost it. We’ve all known for a while, now, that something’s seriously wrong with him. Not that there was ever anything right with that bloodthirsty devil.” Ramon shot Vaughn a smile. “No offense.”

  “None taken.” It made Vaughn uneasy that Max, of all people, knew so much about what was going on in the castle. “What he said about Kora—” Vaughn paused. He should have told Roman about all this before he heard rumors from Max.

  Ramon leaned forward off his pillows. “Do I need to torture it out of you?”

  “I only found out yesterday. It’s all happening too fast.”

  Roman wiggled his fingers in the air. “You’re not telling me that sweet little blue-haired girl is some kind of mad scientist?”

  “She makes Ruby look like a total hack.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because.” Vaughn looked around to make sure no one else was listening. “She made me.”

  Ramon let out a loud whoop that turned nearly every head in the tent. “Sorry, just hit a pepper in my dinner,” he said loudly and everyone returned to their conversations. He crawled over to sit next to Vaughn. “Modest, aren’t you?”

  “Let’s not talk about it here.”

  “This is the only place in the whole camp where we won’t be overheard. Everyone’s too busy spreading gossip to pay any attention. Now—are you out of your mind? This girl is wrong for you on so many levels. I watched a porno a few months ago with the same plot and things went horribly—”

  “Now isn’t the time to talk about your porn collection.”

  “Why not? It’s the wisdom of the ages. You get all the girls so the rest of us have been forced into a monkhood where sex is all here and here.” Ramon pointed to his head and his right hand. “The sages of porn tell us that if one is a hot and horny monster, never mess with your master.”

  “What Max said about Ruby is true.”

  Ramon stared at Vaughn for a minute, then let out a long breath. “So we’ll have two of you bastards to feed from now on?”

  “Ruby’s eating style will be different from mine.”

  “I’ve seen all her favorite movies. The vampires never have your table manners.” Ramon’s eyes dropped to Iris who lay asleep on a cushion between them.

  “It might be a good idea if you all hid up in the hills for a while,” said Vaughn. He was about to continue when he saw Berta plowing toward them.

  Ramon waved his arms at her as if trying to spook a bird. “Go away. Vaughn and I are having a private discussion. Go hang out with your friends.”

  “Those aren’t my friends,” said Berta, glancing at a group of women seated in the corner of the tent. “They’re vultures. Besides, I want to join this private conversation. Were you discussing Vaughn’s blue-haired whore?”

  Vaughn met Berta’s furious gaze but remained silent.

  “I don’t understand why we don’t just kill her,” continued Berta. “She's going to marry that bastard who imprisoned us all here.”

  “You sound like Max,” said Ramon. “We aren’t going to solve anything by killing.”

  “And you sound like Ben,” said Berta, glaring at her brother. “We need to act. Sitting around, spouting about peace will just get us all killed.”

  “I think the blue-haired girl is more of a threat to you than anyone else,” said Ramon.

  “I’m trying to do what’s best for the clan, and getting rid of Vaughn’s new girlfriend is the only way to solve the problem,” said Berta.

  Vaughn felt like crushing something, he was so angry. “She isn’t my girlfriend and like everyone here, she’s a prisoner. Kora doesn’t have any choice.”

  “Her name is Kora?” asked Berta in a syrupy voice. “What a pretty name. She’s quite special, isn’t she? And very talented from what I've heard. Is she as good a fuck as I was?”

  “Jesus Christ,” said Ramon, reaching down to cover Iris’s ears even though she was sound asleep.

  “You’ll be glad to know she never wants to see me again,” said Vaughn. “I’m a mistake she made years ago that she doesn’t want to repeat.”

  All the anger drained from Berta’s face and she stared at Vaughn in disbelief. “She doesn’t want you?”

  “Not that hard to believe,” said Ramon. “I’m beginning to really like this Kora. You’ve finally met a woman with some taste.”

  Vaughn and Berta continued to stare at each other while Ramon grew impatient and lifted Iris off the pillow. “I know you two are having a moment, but it’s time we take Iris home to bed.”

  Berta stood up but her eyes remained fixed on Vaughn. “Do you love her?”

  Ramon tilted back his head and groaned. “Please tell me I’m not going to spend then next twenty minutes trapped in a Jane Austen novel.”

  “If you do,” continued Berta, ignoring her brother, “then we’re both in love with someone who thinks we’re not good enough for them.”

  “I never felt that way about you,” said Vaughn.

  Berta smiled while Ramon rolled his eyes and shoved his sister toward the tent exit.

  When they were both gone, Vaughn reached down and grabbed the leftover pork off Ramon’s plate. He devoured the meat as he walked back to the castle, and licked his fingers as he gazed up at the lights in his bedroom. Ruby was probably waiting for him on her favorite couch, working out the details of his latest punishment. He stepped through the French doors, surprised to see Ivan sulking in an armchair while Gus paced around the room with his arms behind his back.

  “Thank God you’re finally here,” said Ivan. “Maybe you can make him shut up.”

  Vaughn dropped into a chair and noticed a pile of maps spread across the coffee table, the corners held down by books. “What’s going on?”

  “I was just outlining tonight’s adventure,” said Gus. He sniffed the air and looked around with raised eyebrows. “Does anyone else smell roast pork?”

  “It’s coming from Vaughn,” said Ivan. “Is that your new way of dealing with your eating disorder? Rolling in food?”

  For the first time, one of Ivan’s dietary jabs didn’t hit home. Vaughn calmly poured himself a cup of coffee, aware that Ivan was watching for his reaction.

  “Kora and I visited Humphrey earlier today and he told us about a catacomb in the castle foundations,” said Gus.

  “Did he also mention the roller rink, the animal menagerie, and the Spanish Galleon?” said Vaughn.

  “This is real. We have maps and everything,” said Gus. “I guess when Kora lived here, she worked down in the catacomb doing god knows what with some lumpy guy named Mud.”

  “The same Mud that's in Caleb's tea party?” asked Ivan.

  “One and the same,” said Gus. “We need to find that dude. Kora said that Humphrey said he's buried somewhere down in the catacomb.”

  “Where were you when Humphrey was telling her all this?” asked Vaug
hn.

  “Stoned out of my mind,” said Gus. “He had these brownies—”

  “I know the ones,” Vaughn interrupted. “Berta makes them for him.” Vaughn leaned forward to study the maps. “Is Kora coming along?”

  “No, she's acting kind of jumpy. Went back to her room to rest. Must be her time of the month or something.”

  Vaughn’s heart sank. He’d hoped to see her tonight so he could casually bring up how he'd visited Joshua. He imagined the look of delight on her face.

  “The first thing I want to investigate is the stairwell that Caleb once used to take dead bodies from Ruby’s lab down to the catacomb,” said Gus.

  “He used to do that?” Vaughn gulped down the last of his coffee. It either tasted better now that he had a normal stomach, or Gus simply brewed a better cup than him.

  “It was one of his main duties before he regressed back to preschool,” replied Gus.

  “There’s no way he’ll remember how to open that passage,” said Ivan. “You’re putting too much pressure on him after the whole success with the lite-brite.”

  “Maybe, but it’s still worth a try,” replied Gus. “The big guy still has a lot of stuff stored up in his noggin. It’s just a matter of finding the right way to rattle it out of there.”

  Gus stood beside a wall in Ruby’s old lab and waved his arms like an elephant trainer. “Alright Caleb, do your magic.”

  Everyone watched the giant who, still dressed in his pajamas, beamed his childishly charming, if gruesome smile. They waited and Caleb, sensing that something exciting was about to happen, waited with them.

  “Maybe he needs a body or something to jog his memory,” said Vaughn, who sulked at the base of the iron tower, wishing he could sneak off and spy on Kora in her lab down the hall.

  Gus rubbed his chin as he studied the metal bed where Ruby once strapped her doomed victims. His eyes narrowed when they landed on Ivan. “Come here.”

  “Why can’t you use Vaughn?” groaned Ivan.

  “Because you look more dead than he does,” said Gus. “Hop up here and let me fasten you down.”

  “Caleb piled the bodies up over against that far wall like cordwood so he could take several down at one time,” said Ivan.

  “Make it happen,” replied Gus.

  Ivan grudgingly lowered himself to the floor, careful not to crinkle his jacket, while Gus bounced around Caleb, shouting for him to fetch the body like a good boy.

  “I told you he wouldn’t remember,” said Ivan as he climbed back to his feet and brushed off his coat sleeves. “And it’s time for him to go back to bed.”

  “I guess we’ll have to move on to plan B: the air duct,” said Gus.

  “And if that doesn’t work,” said Ivan, “then I suggest plan C: send Vaughn through the sewer pipe. I’ve already ruined one jacket wallowing on that disgusting floor and I’m not about to ruin another to help that blue-haired menace.”

  “Go put Caleb to bed and meet us in the tunnels near the stairwell that leads up to the kitchen,” said Gus.

  “I’ll try,” said Ivan, yawning as he glanced down at his Rolex, a Christmas present Ruby gave to Vaughn the previous year. “But as you know, I’m usually in bed by ten.”

  Gus slammed the door to Ruby’s lab behind them. “Where you watch soaps and smoke cigars until morning. Tonight, Ivan, you get to stay up with the adults. You have forty minutes and then we’ll come find you.”

  Gus and Vaughn disappeared through a secret panel and when they reached the stairwell, Gus hauled out his map. “It looks like we don’t go all the way up. How strange. I’ve blasted through this stairwell into the pantry a million times and never bothered to look around. Must be more to it than meets the eye.”

  “When you’re heading up these stairs, I’m sure all you’re thinking about are coffee, wine, and potato chips.”

  “True.”

  “What’s that?” Vaughn squinted at a strange outline in the stucco.

  “I can’t see anything.” Gus raised his torch. “Wait. There’s a door there. Can you get any closer?”

  Vaughn stepped onto the iron railing and ran his hand along the depression. “I never noticed this before.”

  “These passages are dark. Ruby should have installed motion-sensing fluorescents instead of twelve thousand gas torches. I’m sure it would have helped on the bills.”

  “I think I found a door handle.”

  “Can you give it a yank?”

  Vaughn dug around the encrusted handle with his fingernails, but it didn’t work. “Do you have any tools I could use for digging?”

  “I brought a flat screwdriver.”

  “Hand it up to me.”

  Vaughn took the screwdriver and stabbed at the hard stucco covering the bump and soon a large chunk flaked off revealing half an iron handle. He continued hacking away at it until he’d uncovered the whole thing, then gave it a strong pull. They both heard a loud crack and the handle snapped off.

  “That’s not good,” said Gus from below.

  “I did get the door open a tiny bit. Look, there’s more of an outline.”

  “Dig around, maybe you can get all that loose stucco off and pry it open.” Vaughn slipped a screwdriver under the hole he’d made around the handle and pried off a huge piece of cement.

  “I can see the door now; it’s made of iron.”

  “Do you think you can get it open?”

  Vaughn felt along the edge until he found a tiny crack and slipped in the screwdriver. He pulled as hard as he could without breaking the tool and felt the door give. “I think I got it.”

  “Good, keep going.”

  “It’s open.”

  “Hell, this is going to be easier than I thought. We'll be in the catacomb in no time.”

  Vaughn jumped down off the railing. “I say we pop Ivan in there to check it out first. He can scare off all the rats.”

  “Then we’ll have to wait for him and knowing Ivan, he’s probably trying on his twentieth outfit in front of the mirror.”

  The two men sat down on the steps together and listened to the steady hum of the gas torches.

  “What’s going on between you and Kora?” asked Gus, breaking the long silence.

  Vaughn stared at the brown stones between his bare feet. “Nothing. She just fixed my stomach, that’s all.”

  “I heard. And I’m guessing that the smell of pork earlier is a sign that all is well?”

  Vaughn smiled. “Eating is better than sex.”

  “Just wait until you experience Ivan’s salmon surprise. Then you’ll change your mind.”

  Ivan. Vaughn had forgotten about him in the mad rush. If he was going to eat anything without hiding, he'd have to eventually tell the tiny menace he was no longer a vampire. He hadn't even told Ivan what he'd learned from Dr. Kimura.

  They both turned when they heard the grating sound of Ivan clearing his throat. He clomped down the stairs in purple high-heeled boots and shiny leather pants. “You’re both just sitting around gabbing about that miserable woman, aren't you?”

  Vaughn stood up and stretched. “We came across a rat hole for you, Ivan.”

  “It’s not a very tall passage. Vaughn and I will probably have to crawl, but for you it’ll be like a royal hall.”

  “Forget it. I'm going back to my room.” Ivan tried to hustle back up the stairs but Vaughn grabbed him and tossed him through the opening. They heard him skid, fall over, and burst into loud curses. “I just finished this outfit a few days ago and now the elbows are scuffed.”

  A delighted smile spread across Vaughn’s face.

  “Ivan,” called Gus until he stuck his head out of the opening. “See if it goes anywhere.”

  Ivan mumbled under his breath, and then pulled his head back in. Gus and Vaughn waited for several minutes before he returned. “It seems to go on for awhile. You might as well come up.”

  “Oh goody,” said Gus, clapping his hands together. “But how am I going to get up there?”


  “Just have Vaughn chuck you like a football,” said Ivan. “It’s fun.”

  “Climb onto the railing and I’ll help you,” said Vaughn.

  Gus climbed up the iron frets. “I don’t know about this.”

  “Now grab the edge of the opening and I’ll push you straight in,” said Vaughn.

  “I’m not—” Before Gus could finish his sentence, Vaughn gave him a hard shove that sent him flying straight into the tiny passage like an arrow into a target. Ivan dove out of the way, barely avoiding the hunchback.

  “Here’s some torches,” called Vaughn before chucking the batons in.

  “Christ. Be careful,” said Gus.

  Now both of you need to get farther back to make way for me,” said Vaughn.

  Gus scuttled backward as Vaughn slithered through the opening.

  “This is really cramped.” Gus crawled on all fours, his hump brushing the top of the tunnel. “Isn’t the catacomb below us? We don’t seem to be going down.”

  “I bet that will change soon,” said Vaughn. “Ivan, can you run ahead and see if this heads down any time soon?”

  “Forget it. No more favors for you losers.”

  “I can feel air. I think there’s something ahead,” said Gus.

  After another few yards, the tunnel widened and allowed both Vaughn and Gus to walk on their knees.

  “I think I see a ladder straight ahead. Let me have the torch,” said Ivan. He shined the light on a ladder that began at the mouth of a large pipe.

  “Do you have any rope or a belt?” asked Vaughn.

  “All I have is the cord to keep my robe on.”

  “Take it off.”

  “My robe or the cord?”

  “Just the cord.”

  “Maybe you could tie my naked body to your back so I could ride you down the ladder like a stallion.”

  “Actually that’s not a bad idea,” said Vaughn.

  Gus clapped his hands together. “My prayers are answered.”

  “I was just planning on tying us together like two climbers, but it might be better if I did all the climbing.”

  “I think that’s best. There aren’t many famous hunchback mountaineers.”