Bad Behavior (The Last Time Traveler Book 3)

by Aaron J. Ethridge

  He shut up and called the girls. Minutes later, the entire crew were making their way out of the ship, dressed to the nines in the custom uniforms that had been designed by none other than Ramón himself. As they made their way through the intergalactic bazaar that surrounded Karl's, Morgan had to admit that Robert's lust them up plan seemed to be working – at least, from a certain point of view.

  Unfortunately, it was from a point of view one hundred and eighty degrees out from reality. Cleo could hardly keep her eyes, or her hands, off of him. Of course, as upsetting as he found this, he was even more distressed by the fact that Azure seemed to be having even more difficultly controlling herself. As certain as he was that this was all just part of the girls make them jealous plan, he had to confess, in his heart of hearts, that they were succeeding.

  Even though he was sure Azure didn't really have a thing for Robert, and that Robert was completely and totally in love with Cleo, he still found himself wanting to punch his friend in the face. He shook his head involuntarily as he considered the fact that, in spite of all their efforts, the girls were clearly winning. In fact, it wasn't even close.

  When they reached Karl's, they discovered it was crawling with customers. Vox had put a month between the last time Morgan and Robert had been there and when he had gone to get parts for the laser cannons. This was a month after that, making it two months his-time since they had first met Karl. When the sweaty green man first caught sight of them, his eyes lit up. He finished with his current customer as quickly as he could before making a beeline for them.

  “Well, well,” he said, holding his hand out to Robert, “if it isn't my cheapest customer and the two loveliest ladies in the galaxy. What is it you're hoping to steal from me today?”

  “It's good to see you, too,” the traveler chuckled, shaking his hand.

  Robert then went through the short list of items he needed. In response, Karl made some suggested part substitutions based on what he had on hand. In minutes, they had reached an agreement about what was needed and what could be had. This done, they entered the pricing phase of the discussion.

  “Look,” Karl said, shaking his head, “as much fun as it would be to stand here for an hour, with you trying to get me to pay you to haul off my merchandise as junk, while I try to convince you to pay one quarter of what it's worth, I really don't have time for that today.”

  “Then, what do you suggest?” Robert asked.

  “Well, I could just ask you to pay a fair price,” his economic adversary replied, “but, I got the feeling it would be a fool's errand.”

  “Without a doubt.”

  “So, I figured we might come to some kind of arrangement.”

  “Start talking. I'm listening.”

  “As you can see, the sign really turned out great.”

  “Looks that way,” Robert nodded, turning his gaze to the giant Karl's sign held aloft by a super-sized Cleo and Azure.

  “That poster deal I struck with Mister Qwell, here, worked out for both of us.”

  “Did it?” Vox smiled.

  “Are you kidding me?” Karl asked with a wide smile. “I stopped giving 'em away two weeks ago. People are buying them from me. It's like getting paid to advertise.”

  “What are you suggesting?”

  “I'm thinking the ladies might be willing to do a commercial for me.”

  “That's worth a lot more than I'm asking for,” Robert said, shaking his head.

  “I'll owe you.”

  “What kind of figure?”

  “A thousand,” Karl suggested.

  “Back to the ship,” the traveler replied, turning to walk away.

  Karl grabbed him by the shoulder.

  “Obviously,” he said, “that's negotiable.”

  “Twenty thousand,” Robert replied.

  “Right,” Karl nodded. “I'll just go sell my kidneys and come back with the cash. Three thousand.”

  “Their clothes are worth more than that. Eighteen.”

  “I'm not buying their clothes. Five.”

  “I'm renting them to you. Fifteen.”

  “The clothes or the girls? Seven.”

  “Both. Which would be a bargain at ten.”

  “You are not renting us to him,” Cleo pointed out.

  “Shhh,” Robert said, shaking his head. “I'm acting as your agent.”

  “We can act as our own agents,” Azure replied. “We'll be happy to do it for ten plus the parts we need, Karl.”

  “Ten minus the parts?” he suggested.

  “Done,” Robert said, shaking him by the hand. “Now, what kind of commercial did you have in mind?”

  “I have an idea,” Morgan said, intending to cleverly reverse the non-stop shock the girls had been subjecting him to for the last few hours. “Why don't you get some of your filthiest junk...”

  “Used merchandise,” Karl corrected.

  “Used merchandise,” the young man continued with a wide smile. “Then, you can get a couple of large tubs filled with very soapy water, have the girls slip into some bikinis, and they can scrub it all down with a couple of seriously foamy, large loofahs.”

  Under normal circumstances, this suggestion would have elicited at least a verbal warning from the girls, if not a limited physical attack. Circumstances hadn't been much like normal for the last little while, however. All he got for his efforts was a scowl from Robert, a laugh from Vox, and a head-shaking from Karl.

  “You see,” Karl explained, “a commercial like that would obviously make me filthy rich but, that wouldn't do me any good unless I got to live long enough to enjoy it. And, the moment my wife saw that, she'd kill me stone dead. So, I have another suggestion.”

  Karl’s suggestion was a much more modest, if corny, Shop at Karl's type thing with the girls strutting around his stand showing off the kind of things he had for sale and assuring the viewers that he had the lowest prices on this side of the galaxy. As soon as this was filmed, they were given their parts along with a credit note, and headed back for the ship. Robert had to admit, during the ten seconds he managed to get out of Azure's earshot, that the girls still seemed to be winning. He told Morgan not to worry, however, because he had a plan. Morgan worried anyway.

  Chapter 11: Stop Right There

  “I don't know, Rob,” Morgan said, pacing back and forth through his room. “We fought a good fight but, I think it's time to surrender, say we're sorry, and make up.”

  “Are you insane?!” the traveler exclaimed, leaping up from the edge of Morgan's bed. “Say we're sorry for what?”

  “For upsetting them,” the young man suggested. “For lying to them.”

  “We upset them by accident, lied to protect their feelings, and have had to put up with their nonsense for days now. If anyone should apologize, it's them!”

  “Even if I agree with you – which I do to a certain extent – I just don't see us winning. I'm getting more and more uncomfortable with this. Of course, that's mainly because I'm getting more and more comfortable with it. Cleo's not the easiest temptation to resist when she's chasing after you like a wild woman.”

  “I have to admit, I can understand that,” Robert nodded. “In point of fact, neither is Azure, and I've always considered myself basically temptation proof.”

  This statement caused Morgan to glare at Robert with knitted brows.

  “I'm not saying I'm getting close to caving or anything,” the traveler explained. “I was just pointing out that I see what you're saying. I mean; you're not actually falling for Cleo, are you?”

  “Of course not!” Morgan snapped. “It's just that she's unimaginably hot and all up on me. I don't like it, Rob! We have to give up!”

  “No, we don't,” Robert replied, shaking his head. “The problem, Morgan, is that we've let them choose the battleground.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean that they've got us on the run because they're chasing us.”

  “That's basically how on the run works, you m
oron,” Morgan chuckled.

  “What I'm saying,” Robert explained, “is that if we were chasing, they'd be running. We need to up the stakes.”

  “You already said that! That's what these uniforms were about.”

  “That was upping the ante,” Robert explained.

  “I've upped my ante,” Morgan replied, “up yours.”

  “Very witty.”

  “Well, it was brief,” the young man smiled. “They say that's the soul of wit.”

  “May I continue?”

  “Please.”

  “We've got to make them think they're succeeding. We need to make them wonder if we're actually beginning to accept this new state of affairs.”

  “How do we do that?” Morgan asked.

  “We've got an hour or so before we need to head to bed,” Robert replied. “We can invite them down to the dojo for a little training. You'll suggest that we do some wrestling and I'll agree – that will shock them. Then, I'll suggest that you wrestle Cleo and I wrestle Azure and you'll agree – that will stun them. Odds are, Cleo will give up before you even touch her. As soon as they surrender, we'll start talking, and play nice.”

  “If this goes wrong, Rob, we're dead men,” Morgan replied. “What if the girls decide that we're seriously serious?”

  “We can let Doc in on our plan. Then, he can testify to the fact that it was all just a clever ruse.”

  “You tell him about this, he's gonna laugh in your face.”

  “No, he won't.”

  He did. He did not, however, attempt to dissuade them – as Morgan had secretly hoped he would. For one thing – although he had certainly never told Robert about it – more than one of his former fantasies had begun with he and Cleo wrestling. Still, he had high hopes. No matter what Robert had managed to talk Doc into, there was no way he was going to convince the girls to go down to the dojo for a quick spar an hour before bedtime.

  He did. The young ladies strutted into the training hall clearly intent on winning the current skirmish as they had so many before it. Each was wearing a black silk dobok tied at the waist with a white belt. Morgan wondered where and when they had gotten them, and whether or not Ramón had designed them. Robert, on the other hand, wondered why they were wearing outfits so similar to his own. Azure explained that now, they were the grand masters. She also said that, if he wanted to regain his title, he would have to force her to submit to him at least once. Although Morgan really didn't like the way she chose to express this assertion, he was comforted by the idea that the girls would never agree to mixed-couples wrestling no matter what crazy reasoning Robert came up with.

  They did. At first, Morgan was afraid to even touch Cleo. There were several reasons for this, of course. The first was all those former fantasies. Another was the fact that she had been putting her hands all over him all day, every time she got the chance. Plus, he was like a gorilla compared to her and he didn't want to accidentally hurt her. He got over that one pretty quick, though.

  It turned out that, not only was she incredibly nimble, she was also extremely skilled at using his own strength, weight, and – even more shocking – height against him. After two or three minutes of trying to get a solid hold on her, he ended up face down on the mat with her sitting in the small of his back with his left arm pushed up until it was about to touch the back of his head. He happened to muse aloud about how she could have possibly defeated him like that. In response, she leaned down, put her mouth almost to his ear, and whispered something about extremely versatile flexibility.

  As uncomfortable as this made him – that is; having his face on the mat with his arm twisted up, having Cleo whispering things like that in his ear, and having been beaten by a girl – what he saw take place between Robert and Azure made him, if possible, even more so. Azure seemed absolutely determined to pin Robert on his back with her on top of him but, Robert was even more determined not to let this happen – for a number of obvious reasons.

  Unfortunately, one of those reasons was his overwhelming desire to always win. In the heat of battle, this motivation mastered all others. With a quick series of impressive moves, taking full advantage of both his strength and skill, he managed to slam her on her back on the mat, sitting across her hips, with her wrists in his fists, the back of her hands on the floor, and his face inches from hers. She said something softly to him that Morgan couldn't quite make out, but he definitely caught the word submission.

  Robert sprang off of her as if she had been made out of fire and told the girls that he had decided he was too tired to wrestle, after all. Azure said something about understanding him wanting to go to bed but, being sure that he wasn't too tired. At that response, the young men ceded defeat once again, and fled.

  The moment they reached their rooms, Morgan expressed a desire to let the girls have their way by breaking Robert's jaw right in front of them. Robert, however, wouldn't hear of it. He pointed out that, if they let the girls beat them this time, they would never again be free men. At the very least, they had to find some way to fight them to a standstill so they could negotiate terms. Morgan didn't agree but, he didn't feel up to arguing about it. The day had been so stressful that all he wanted was to take an hour-long cold shower and go to bed. And, that's exactly what he did.

  The following morning – or whatever it would be in space-time – they awoke to discover that the ship was once again flying through real-space at a comparative snail's pace. The reason for this was simple, the main-drive was offline again and they were effectively adrift. How the main-drive came to be offline was another matter entirely. However, what was immediately obvious was that it was not simply in diagnostic-mode.

  Robert told Vox to work on getting the drive back online, assigned Azure to act as his assistant, instructed Doc and Morgan to keep working on pass-code locking the diagnostic-mode on the rest of the systems on board – not that he thought it would do much good – and ordered Cleo to write up a replacement operating system for the main drive. While all of them were doing all of that, Robert hoped to get the tractor beam put together and mounted.

  It took over eighteen hours to do what needed to be done but, they all managed to get their assigned tasks completed in that time frame. With weary limbs and weary minds they all gathered, inadvertently, on the bridge.

  “It's been a long day, boss,” Vox observed, as Robert stepped onto the bridge to find the rest of the crew sitting there.

  “It has been,” the traveler nodded. “Did you figure out what was wrong with the drive?”

  “Nope,” Vox said, shaking his head. “But, it was definitely just another software issue. Small girl's got me fixed up, though. She wrote a new OS from scratch.”

  “I'm uploading it now,” Cleo said, glancing at one of the monitors. “We should be able to jump back into non-space in about five minutes. It doesn't have a lot of frills – for instance, it doesn't have a diagnostic mode – but it will get us moving again. Still, I think this makes it obvious that we need to go back to Never Never Land.”

  “We will,” Robert nodded. “Just as soon as we have Celeste back on board. Did you find any traces of the...”

  “The Sturm virus,” Cleo giggled. “No, Sir, I didn't. Whatever it is, it's not that.”

  “What else could it be?” Morgan mused.

  “Maybe we have a stowaway,” Vox laughed.

  “It's not...” Robert began with a smile, before stopping mid-sentence and pushing a number of buttons on a nearby console. “No... It's not a stowaway but, that's a really good point, Vox. We need to add a silent alarm to the system to send a message to the bridge whenever there's an active stealth field inside the ship.”

  “I can see that,” Vox replied with a stretch, “but, it ain't happening tonight.”

  “No,” Robert agreed, “it's not. We need to fire up the engines and head for Celeste. We can pick her up first thing tomorrow. Where and when do you want to grab her?”

  “As soon and as close as possible,” Vox rep
lied.

  “That's going to be just before she reaches Duck à l'orange,” Cleo asserted, stifling a yawn. “We'll save at least an hour if we pick her up there. Plus, she just made the final jump into non-space from her time frame.”

  “How do you know that?” the traveler asked.

  “I just watched her do it,” the green maiden said with another yawn. “I figured you'd want to keep an eye on her, so I calculated out her most probable route and sent a few time probes to watch her progress.”

  “That was brilliant.”

  “Thanks,” she said with a stretch. “It feels good to be appreciated.”

  “Do you feel it's wise to wait until after the last hop?” Doc asked. “It might be worth spending the extra hour in order to pull her out of the time lines earlier.”

  “Rob's not going to do that,” Azure asserted with a smile. “His natural showmanship demands that he grab her at the last possible moment. Doesn't it, Rob?”

  “It kind of does,” he chuckled.

  “Plus,” she said, giving the traveler a coy smile, “waiting until the very last moment allows you to thoroughly enjoy every glorious moment of anticipation. Wouldn't you say so?”

  “I may have said something similar in the past,” Robert replied before clearing his throat.

  “Either way,” Vox interjected. “I don't want to wait one more hour than I have to.”

  “Then, we'll catch her at the end of her last jump,” Robert nodded. “Cleo set a course. Then, we're all going to get some sleep.”

  After just over eight hours of repose, the crew gathered once again on the bridge. With the press of several buttons, Cleo dropped the ship into real-space relatively near the point where Celeste's current craft had just completed its final jaunt.

  “Hit it with the tractor beam, Vox,” Robert said.

  “Can't, brother,” Vox replied, shaking his head. “It's out of range.”

  “You should have gotten us closer, Cleo.”

  “With all the systems failures we've had,” she replied, in a let me do my job tone of voice, “I thought it best not to risk accidentally ramming into her. Not to mention the fact that the off-the-shelf tractor beam I wanted us to use has more than enough range for this.”