Infinitely Human

by Candace Blevins

  “Soundproof. They can’t hear us. You’re healed?”

  “Mordecai and Cora say I am. My instincts are still telling me to be careful and take it a little easy, but if you still want me, I should be ready to go with you tomorrow. I need to make sure Smokey’s settled in, talk to Randall about construction issues and decisions that might need to be made, and the Realtor about putting my old house on the market. I don’t think I’ll be staying there anymore, and we already have it in shape to sell.”

  “Tomorrow works. I assume I’m just getting you for now? Cora will come after the full moon?”

  “We’ll see where she is, but I suspect you’re right. I’ll need to be back the night before, so I can help get everything ready.”

  “Rumor has it Nathan broke up with you because you tortured Aquila, and now you’re seeing Mordecai?”

  “I don’t know what’s going on with Mordecai, but I’m not seeing him. We’re…” I rolled my eyes. “I don’t know what we are, but we aren’t an item and I don’t see how we can be.”

  “The Amakhosi broke your heart.”

  I shook my head but kept looking straight ahead. “Is it that obvious?”

  “I sensed two broken hearts in that room. He’s hurting too. Give him time.”

  “Not in my nature. I need to put it behind me and move on. Over is over.”

  Finally, he turned to look at me. “Do you know where Gabby and Horse are hiding?”

  “I do not.”

  He looked straight ahead again, his eyes scanning all around, using the mirrors to look behind us, too. Did he ever relax?

  “Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus was later known as Nero, and he was evil incarnate. I assume he still is. He’s returned to a form of his birth name — Lucius Domitius. This tells me he expects to come full circle in some way while he is using this name.” He looked at me again. “I can use your help, but only if you’re in top shape. This isn’t going to be easy.”

  “He owns Gabby’s father?”

  “I’m about eighty percent certain, but I haven’t shared this with anyone else. He and Omar — once known as Caligula — have worked together in the past, but Omar seems to have pulled out of the supernatural world in this incarnation of himself.”

  “Seems to have?”

  “Exactly. It could easily be a ruse. I have a jet at my disposal. We’ll fly to Europe tomorrow. I assume you can take us back to places, once you’ve been there?”

  “Yes, but I’ll need to find a place someone isn’t likely to be.”

  “We’re both immune to the mists. Cora isn’t. Can you give her immunity?”

  “I won’t know until we’re in them.”

  “If she isn’t, get her out of there and come back to help me fight.”

  “What should I pack?”

  “Jeans and sneakers. Boots. At least one all black outfit. If we need to dress up, we can buy something. Pack light.”

  “Weapons?”

  “Can you shoot a fifty cal?”

  “I’d rather not. My aim’s only good for one or two shots, and I have to use both hands.”

  “Bring your Sig. I’ll supply the ammo. We’ll outfit you with a few more — you’ll want a fifty cal if you run across another honey badger.”

  16

  Instead of returning to the back porch, I walked across the clearing and the mile and a half down the road to the new house’s location. Once again, I missed my cedar tree. If we’d been able to move it, I’d sit near it and meditate and all would be right with the world once again. I missed it in ways I needed to analyze, but it hurt too badly.

  Unfortunately, it was so big, even if I spent the ten grand to move it, she’d only have about a forty percent chance of surviving the trauma of the move. I couldn’t do that to her.

  I looked at the hill to the right and a little behind the house. It looked totally normal, but fifteen shipping containers had been buried inside it, and a tunnel from the main house’s basement would take us to the underground complex. The Pack might be drawn into a battle in the near future, and we’d need to make sure our loved ones were safe. I was tired of having to be housed elsewhere for protection.

  We’d also have a basement and a sub-basement under the house, and the hole had been dug, concrete poured, and extra shielding lined the whole area to be sure no one could pick up even a heat signature.

  We weren’t merely building a home, but a fortress.

  I heard and smelled Nathan walking towards me, and I kept my back to him. He stopped beside me, and asked, “Everything okay with Ryan?”

  Having him so close and yet so far away physically hurt. I was pissed at him all over again, but I needed to be an adult. I breathed in slowly and tried to breathe my anger out. It worked enough I could speak without my emotions spilling out.

  “Yes. If this were your home, what would you add? What are we missing?”

  “Nothing I can think of. You have the best security technology available, soundproofing for the underground floors and the two master bedrooms, and hardly anyone knows about the hill. It’s the perfect Alpha house, and it also fits your needs.”

  “I’m sorry I was unprofessional at Bran’s. I’ll try to do better.” He was beside me, so we weren’t looking at each other, and it made it easier to talk.

  “You’re hurt, and I’m sorry about that. We’ll get through it.”

  “You’re hurt, too. I can’t apologize for my actions, but I’m sorry they pushed you away.”

  “I’d rather you didn’t go with Ryan.”

  “I’m going.”

  “I know.”

  “Why are you here?” He’d been talking to Ranger and Mac when I left. I didn’t think he’d notice when I didn’t come back after talking to Ryan.

  “You shouldn’t wander off by yourself.”

  “I should be safe here.”

  “Should be. You still shouldn’t wander off.”

  I blew out a breath. “I can work with you, when necessary. I’m pissed at you, but I don’t hate you, and I know we’ll be okay eventually, but I need some time.” Fuck, I was beating around the bush. “The thing is, if I don’t have to be around you, I’d rather not. I’m sure that’ll change, but it’s just too hard right now.” I turned towards him and met his gaze without faltering. “This is going to be my home. I need to be okay here by myself. Please go back to the other house.”

  “I’m kind of pissed at you, too.”

  I turned my back to him and crossed my arms. “I can’t do this right now. Please leave.”

  “If you’d been torn up about it afterwards, I’d have been okay. It isn’t that you did it, it’s that you did it with no emotions.”

  “It had to be done. Second guessing myself isn’t in the cards. If I was going to regret doing it, I wouldn’t have done it to start with. You should at least know that much about me.”

  He didn’t respond, but he didn’t leave, either. Finally, I said, “Gabby’s father is likely a sociopath, along with some other disorders. However, all sociopaths aren’t evil. Ryan is one, and he seems to use his lack of emotion for good. I’m not a sociopath, but I’ve learned to compartmentalize my emotions. I can understand how I may have appeared to be one while I tortured Aquila and Oscar. If you can’t understand the difference between me and a mentally ill serial killer, we can’t possibly work romantically, so whether it’s your choice or mine, we can’t be together.” I walked towards the tunnel leading to our underground containers in the hillside. “We weren’t sure it was going to be possible anyway, so we’re just cutting it short before we really get hurt.”

  I levitated down, made my way to the tunnel, and went through it until I reached the containers. There was no reason we couldn’t move in here, except that we wanted to keep this area secret. Still, there were beds, a working kitchen, public-style bathrooms with showers so we could accommodate a lot of people, and a large common area with a television.

  I sat, turned the television on, and made my way to Netflix. Nat
han had followed me in, but he stood at the doorway.

  “Fuck, you may as well come all the way in if you insist on shadowing me.”

  “I know Randall didn’t build this with only one way in and out.”

  “You’re correct.”

  “You going to make me find it?”

  “I’d rather you didn’t.”

  “I need to know the layout so I can help protect you.”

  I paused the show I’d started. “Cora and I need to talk about who will know our secrets. Randall, Cora, and four men who’ll be in the Pack did all the work. No one else knows the super-secret stuff. It’s possible we’ll decide you and Aaron should know, and if we do, we’ll show you. However, right now, I’m going to have to insist you show yourself out.”

  I stood, angled so he’d have to get past me to move farther into our little underground compound, and formed a long light-staff.

  “You’d fight me?” His surprised look just pissed me off even more.

  “I’d rather not, but this is my home and you’re here uninvited.”

  He crossed his arms and leaned against the doorsill again — totally relaxed, as if he wasn’t at all worried I’d attack. “So, Miss Therapist, what does it mean that this just makes me love you even more? The woman who’d fight the Amakhosi with absolutely no fear.”

  I absorbed my light-staff back into my energy field, turned my back to him, sat back down, and restarted my television show. I wasn’t going to play these games with him.

  Also, I was close to tears and I knew he’d smell it, but he didn’t get to see it.

  Mordecai appeared before me, facing me and Nathan, who was still behind me. “I’ll see to her safety. You can leave now, cat.”

  I heard and smelled Nathan leaving. When I was certain he couldn’t hear me any longer, I pulled my bare feet onto the sofa, wrapped my arms around my knees, and burst into tears.

  “He’s being an ass,” said Mordecai. “You should’ve cut a few limbs off.”

  “Then I’d have had a pissed off lion in my living room. Not worth it.” I breathed in a stuttering breath through my tears. “How did you know to come?”

  He sighed. “I’m keyed into your adrenaline levels. I’ve been monitoring the situation since you formed the light-staff.”

  “That’s creepy, but thank you.”

  “Why are you in here?”

  “Cora needs time with her wolves without me around. Also, I just wanted a little alone time.” I patted my cheeks, hopelessly trying to manage my tears. “They aren’t officially her wolves, but I can already feel the change in energy.”

  “It’ll be a strong Pack. Formidable. If Randall’s smart, he’ll assign them a warrior classification.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Warrior Packs sometimes seem stronger than the main Pack — kind of the junkyard dog thing. It’ll help him save face and remain top Alpha.”

  I nodded. It made sense. “Ryan wants me to carry a fifty cal, in case we run into another honey badger.”

  “Probably the only handheld weapon that can bring one down in two shots — but only two well-placed shots. You’ll have to aim accurately.”

  “Fuck.”

  “Indeed.”

  I paused the show. Again. “Is there any reason I shouldn’t be safe in here?”

  He considered the question and shook his head. “Only a few people know of it, we included it in the spell, and you can close and lock the door.”

  “Good, then please make sure the door is locked before you leave.”

  He chuckled, kissed the top of my head, and walked behind me. I assume he locked the door and left, but I didn’t look.

  I fell asleep watching the show, and awoke when Cora turned the light off. Netflix had probably long since stopped playing it. Or maybe not. I had no idea how long I’d been asleep.

  “What time is it?”

  “One in the morning. You want to go to bed, or are you comfy there?”

  I was actually pretty comfortable, but the bed would be better.

  “I’m leaving tomorrow. Did someone stay for a sleepover with you?”

  She laughed. “No. Want to sleep with me?”

  “Thought you’d never ask.”

  17

  Ryan handed me a spiral bound book of Nero’s life story when we boarded the plane. When I finished it, he went over the important bits with me — the fact Nero/Lucius is a sadist and narcissist, and likely a sociopath. We talked about what he’s done in his various incarnations since he was Nero, and the atrocities he’s committed in recent centuries.

  Next, he handed me a small booklet on honey badgers, and when I finished, he showed me videos of people trying to kill the normal sized version and failing, and then footage of people actually killing them. I also received a honey badger anatomy lesson, so I’d know exactly where to strike and where I shouldn’t bother.

  We landed in Copenhagen nearly ten hours after we took off. We stepped off the private plane, walked to a limo, and found ourselves face-to-face with Rinaldo. Fucking Nebuchadnezzar from the freaking Bible.

  My shields are always locked down, but I put extra walls up.

  I’d once thought Rinaldo looked like a middle-eastern Rambo, and that’d been when he’d been wearing a suit. Today, he was dressed in black fatigues, and he looked even more like a soldier than a businessman.

  Ryan was also dressed in all black, and he’d instructed me to as well.

  “The limo doesn’t go with our outfits.”

  Rinaldo offered his hand, but I didn’t shake it. “You’ll understand if I’d prefer we not have physical contact.” This was Ryan’s show and he was obviously okay with this, but nothing said I had to shake the bastard’s hand.

  Rinaldo put his hand down and gave a slight head tilt, but didn’t speak.

  “My contacts only told me someone would meet us at the plane,” Ryan told me. “If I’d known it would be Rinaldo, I’d have warned you.” He eyed the ancient vampire a few seconds. “You’re going to help with recon?”

  “And with capture, if necessary. The limo is for our comfort during the first hour of our drive. Another, less conspicuous mode of transportation will be waiting near the other end of our journey.”

  I watched his body language and facial expressions. Paid attention to his tone and inflection. He was too smooth. Too polished.

  Why would he help us? I considered all possibilities. Ryan trusted him enough to get into the limo, and I trusted Ryan enough to follow his lead. If Ryan wanted me out of the picture, he’d take me out himself. We were short on leads, it’s possible this was Ryan’s only option for gaining more information.

  I turned down the Jack and cola I was offered, but accepted the water.

  “Did you put in a bid for Dwight Lepori, when he went up for auction?”

  “I did.”

  “Did your bid win?”

  “It did not.”

  “If you find him, will you have an opportunity to take over the lease? How does that work?”

  “Bunnies are so much fun to play with, and a psychopathic serial killer bunny? Who wouldn’t want to own him for a century or so?”

  Me, for starters, but I needed to stay on subject. “So, you know who won the bid already?”

  “I do not. Security means no one knows these things, lest someone try to steal our slave.”

  “How do I know you didn’t win him, and you’re setting us off track by pretending to help?”

  He sighed. “I don’t suppose you do.”

  I looked to Ryan, who told me, “While Rinaldo might get in bed with evil in between the big battles, he’s historically sided with good when it really mattered. There’s no guarantee he won’t change his path, but those in power are trusting him. For now.”

  “He was in Lauren’s head. And the triplets.” I looked to Rinaldo. “I can throw you a whole helluva lot farther than I trust you.”

  “You’re stronger than you were when we last met. You also have
Mordecai threatening to give a daily disembowelment to anyone who harms so much as a hair on your head.”

  Really? I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. On the one hand, I like to think I can take care of myself, but on the other hand, I can’t realistically be expected to handle ancient beings, and Mordecai’s support warmed my heart.

  “I believe his threat was daily torture for a minimum of three centuries, to include disembowelment, starvation, and whatever might suit his fancy for the day.” Ryan shrugged. “Or whoever he puts in charge of the daily torture, once he tires of it.” He looked at me. “Even without Mordecai’s threat, the fact you disabled Gavin and delivered him to the Siabhra has given pause to even the most powerful Strigorii.”

  “Yes, but those in power tend to kill what they fear.”

  “Which is why it’s good you have the backing of a war god. Rinaldo knows I’ll kill him if he steps out of line, but I’m willing to work with him for this. Are you?”

  I’m used to being able to trust my team to have my back, and I didn’t trust Rinaldo with my front, much less my back. But this was international politics and I needed to put my big girl panties on.

  “Let’s call it a work in progress.” I met Rinaldo’s gaze. “Please don’t give me a reason to distrust you. I’ll try to do the same.”

  Rinaldo looked to Ryan. “This sounds like the beginning of a joke. A slayer, a human, a Strigorii, and a lion shifter got into a limo…”

  Ryan looked to the front of the vehicle and back to Rinaldo. “Anyone I know?”

  “Lorenzo. Giuseppe’s son. He’s young, but he’s strong and powerful, and has had the best military training his parents’ money could buy.”

  Ryan narrowed his eyes. “Training doesn’t equal experience.”

  “I trust him with my back.” The old vampire looked to me. “He belongs to your Amakhosi. I have hopes his presence will help you feel better about me.”

  Not really, because a Strigorii could still fuck with his head, but it seemed rude to say so. “Where are we going? I assume you think you know where we should start our search?”