Society Girls: Kalila

by Crystal Perkins

  “I’m sure we can work it out. How about I take you two to lunch.”

  “That would be lovely, Sean,” his mother tells him.

  I’m going to look like an ass if I say no, so I force out a smile, and nod. “Yes, thank you.”

  We say our goodbyes, and Sean leads us out of the meeting room with a hand on my back. It feels weird, and wrong, but I’ve committed to moving on, so I let him keep it there. Maybe it won’t always feel this way.

  When we get to the restaurant, which is fancier than I would choose for lunch, even though I’ve been here before, things start to get awkward.

  “I’m sure Kali can just have what I usually get,” Vanessa says, waving her hand at me, like I’m dismissed. Not happening, honey.

  “Actually, I’ll order for myself since I already know what I like from here.”

  “I was really hoping to impress you by ordering for you.” Sean tells me, with a…yes, that’s a pout.

  Feeling pressured, I give in again. “Okay.”

  He rubs his hands like some kind of supervillain, and I have to admit it’s kind of endearing. His order is definitely not what I would’ve gotten for myself, as I like a full meal, and not a salad, but I can always get a snack later.

  “Isn’t this salad wonderful?” Mrs. Phillips asks.

  Wonderful is not the word I would use, so I don’t. “It’s a good salad.”

  “I failed, didn’t I?” Sean asks.

  “Honestly, I’m not much of a salad girl, but I appreciate the effort, and it’s not like I hate it.”

  “That seems like a back-handed compliment, Kalila.”

  “Mom, she’s just being honest, and I appreciate it. I want you to always be honest with me, Kali. Okay?”

  “I can’t be any other way, so yes.”

  I let Sean take my hand as we leave the restaurant, and it’s kind of nice. I haven’t felt an immediate spark with him like I did with Theo all those years ago, but look how that worked out for me. I need something different, and this man might just be it.

  Theo

  Watching Kali walk out with Sean a few days was tough, but seeing her sitting with him in the cafeteria right now is even harder. She’s smiling at him, and she looks happy. That’s what I should want, right? I should want her to be happy, even if it’s not with me, but I’m not.

  I screwed up, and lost her. I know that. I just thought she’d come back to me again. I haven’t had my three strikes yet, and I took for granted I’d get them all. With that last chance, I was going for a home run, or at least a base hit, and not a strike out. Now, I’m realizing I’m no longer even in the line-up for this game, that isn’t a game at all. It’s the life I foolishly tossed away.

  “You’re not going to just let that happen, are you?” Darcy asks, coming to sit with me.

  “She’s choosing him, Darce. I won’t force her hand, when she’s made it clear it’s over for us.”

  “Reminding her you’re here isn’t forcing her hand, Theo.”

  “I agree,” Jade says, joining us. “You’ve been a royal ass, but that guy is way too vanilla for her.”

  “I’m not really that much of a freak, Jade.”

  “TMI, buddy. I just mean he’s boring.”

  “She’s smiling, so I’d say she doesn’t agree.”

  “She’s obviously looking for the opposite of you, which means she’s thinking of you. Just go over, and say hi.”

  “That’s a dick move.”

  “We’ve already established you fit that description.”

  “You are such a bitch, and I mean that in the nicest way.”

  Jade puts a hand to her chest, and flutters her eyelashes. “Why, thank you. Now go!”

  I shake my head, but do what she says, because yeah, I was looking for a reason to insert myself into the situation anyway. Masochist, or genius? Who knows, but I put one foot in front of the other either way.

  “Hi Kali.”

  She looks startled to see me, and pulls her hand from Sean’s, where they’re resting on the table. Score one for me. “Um, hi Theo.”

  “We’re having a private conversation here,” Sean says, looking pissed. Hell, I’d be pissed, too.

  “Just saying hi to my friend. I didn’t realize that was a problem.”

  “It’s not,” Kali says, looking between us.

  “You’ve said it, so now you should go.”

  “Kali?”

  “I’ll see you around, Theo.”

  Wow. If I hadn’t heard the words, I wouldn’t have believed she said them. Kali may be mad at me, but she’s not the type to just blow someone off—or at least she never used to be. I can’t help but feel I did this to her, and it doesn’t sit right. Now’s not the time to get into it with her, but I am going to talk to her about it, and everything else. She may want to just move on, but we need to really talk about everything’s that happened, preferably without an audience this time.

  “See ya.”

  I walk away, but I don’t go back to sit with Darcy and Jade. Their sympathetic looks are enough to make me want to punch something, and I can’t handle hearing them say how pathetic that just was. My talk with Kali needs to happen sooner, rather than later, so we can at least pretend to be friends.

  Kali

  “You embarrassed me,” Sean says, pulling me into one of the single bathrooms on his floor.

  There are no cameras in here to see how tightly he’s gripping my arms, but I’m not scared. In pain, but not scared. He’s a nice guy who’s upset, that’s all.

  “You’re hurting me.”

  “Good. You’re with me now, and you need to behave that way.”

  Okay. Now, I am getting a little worried. I could probably take him, but I don’t know how I would explain that. We’ve only had two casual coffee dates since lunch, and I’ve never mentioned being trained in self-defense.

  “Theo and I have a lot of mutual friends, and we live in the same apartment building. We’re going to see each other, Sean, and I need to be cordial. You saw me send him away.”

  Instead of letting go, he grips me tighter, and I know there will be bruises later. “I better not hear you’re going out with him again, Kali.”

  “I wouldn’t ever date more than one person.”

  That’s the truth, and even though I don’t consider myself “dating” him yet, I know he likes my answer. He releases my arms, and kisses my forehead.

  “Good girl.”

  I force a smile as he walks out, and then slump against the sink. When I lift up the sleeves of my t-shirt, I see the bruises already starting to form. What have I gotten myself into?

  Chapter 9

  Theo

  “Kali, we need to talk.”

  I haven’t been able to get her alone the last few days, because she’s been actively avoiding me. Today, I wasn’t going to let it happen, so I waited in the C&C lobby for her to come down after work. I hate seeing the fear in her eyes as she looks around, but I need to talk to her, and I don’t want to wait any longer.

  “I don’t have anything to say to you.”

  “Too bad, because I have a lot to say. I’d prefer not to do it in the lobby, but I’ll take what I can get.”

  “You couldn’t have found me upstairs?”

  “Not while you’re so actively avoiding me.”

  She rubs her arms, and I notice the dark circles under her eyes. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes,” she says, stepping back when I step towards her. “Just annoyed.”

  “Do you want this to always be so awkward?” I ask, having passed annoyed at least a day ago.

  “I don’t think it can be any other way.”

  “Please just talk to me, Kal.”

  She closes her eyes, and exhales loudly. “Fine. Let’s go back upstairs.”

  “I don’t want this to be recorded. This is just us.”

  I could turn off the recording devices anywhere in this building, but then I’d have to explain why I did it. Matt and Reina would
understand, but I’d rather not involve anyone else in this.

  “Meet me at my apartment.”

  “Okay.”

  She didn’t fight me too hard, and that’s what I focus on as I drive home. We can be friends again, and then we can be more. Sean is making her smile now, but I’ve made her smile for years. Yeah, I’ve also made her cry, but it’s a delicate balance, and I love her too much to just walk away unless that’s really what she wants.

  I follow her into the lobby, and onto an elevator. She stays on the other side of the car, her arms crossed in front of her again, and I’m realizing this isn’t going to be easy at all.

  “Would you like some water?” she asks, once we’re inside.

  I’m looking everywhere but her dining room table, because it’s her I want to drink from, but I nod. “Sure. Thanks.”

  I don’t know where to sit, so I just stand and wait for her to grab the drinks. She’s frustrated when she finds me still standing. “Just sit down, Theo, so we can get this over with.”

  “We were together for a long time, Kali, so excuse me for having a hard time with this.”

  “It’s about time things were hard for you, isn’t it?”

  I was trying to be civil, but all bets are off now. “You really think any of what’s happened between us over the years has been easy for me? You think holding a gun to my best friend’s head, and ordering her mind to be wiped of me was fucking easy?”

  “I think you’ve been happily skating the middle line for all this time, so I’m sure picking a lane was hard, but you put yourself in that position, Theo. You put us all in that position.”

  “You make it sound like it should’ve been easy for me to betray the person who was all I had for a long time.”

  “It was easy for you to believe I betrayed you. Tell me how that is, please, because I really can’t wrap my head around how you honestly would ever think I could’ve cheated on you.”

  “The pictures.”

  The hurt crosses her face so fast that I almost miss it. “I was drugged. Drugged so Meg could get you into her bed. And it worked. You took everything at face value while I was victimized, and not even given the chance to defend myself.”

  “I know.”

  “Now. Now you know. But how did not know then? How did you not question seeing me surrounded by men you knew I couldn’t stand?”

  “I was stupid.”

  “That’s not enough.”

  “I didn’t think I was good enough, okay? I never thought I was good enough for you, and seeing those pictures wasn’t so much of a surprise. The guys—yeah, I didn’t expect it to be them—but I thought you’d find someone else.”

  “I was marrying you, Theo! I told you I loved you all day, every day. You were all I ever wanted or needed. I don’t know what else I could’ve done to show you that.”

  “It was my problem, not yours.”

  “See, that’s one of the problems here, Theo; you don’t understand that your problems and mine were interchangeable. It wasn’t you against the world once I fell in love with you, but us against the world.”

  “It’s hard for me to think that way.”

  “I know. You believed Meg was your ally, and the guys became that for you too, but you never saw me that way. I was the princess in the tower, who you had to win, and protect. I was never your equal, never a knight fighting next to you, even though I did everything I could to show you I would fight for both of us. You underestimated me, and my love for you, so you placed me lower than the ones you fought with—as a boy, and as a man.”

  “You were never less.”

  “This isn’t the time for either of us to lie.”

  “You were more, Kali. So fucking much more, and that’s why when you fell from the pedestal I set you on, I lost my mind.”

  “I didn’t fall, I was pushed.”

  “Yeah.”

  “I never wanted to be worshipped. All I wanted was to be loved.”

  “You were. You are. God, I love you so much.”

  “You love the princess, but I’m just a geeky science nerd who can fight her own battles.”

  “You’re not ‘just’ anything.”

  How can she not know how amazing she is? How I’ve always been in awe of just how special, and loving, and just good she is?

  “No, I guess I’m not.”

  “I want another chance. Let me show you I want you by my side, and not in some mythical tower I have to fight a dragon to reach.”

  “I can’t do that to myself again.”

  “It’ll be different with Meg gone.”

  “It should’ve been different while she was still in your life.”

  Well, shit. “You’re right. I’m so sorry.”

  “I accept your apology, and I hope we can one day be friends again, but I need you to keep your distance right now, and let me breathe.”

  “With Sean?”

  “It’s new, and I don’t know where it’s going, but yes, I need you to leave me alone.”

  “He’s nothing like me.”

  “No, he’s not.”

  “That’s what you want?”

  “Yes.”

  “Can I give you one last kiss?”

  “No. That wouldn’t be appropriate.”

  “I’ve never been appropriate.”

  “I’m asking you to be now. Please, Theo.”

  I owe her at least that, so I agree. Not forever, but for now, I can do it. “I’ll stay away.”

  “Thank you.”

  We both stand, and it’s all I can do not to fold her into my arms, and never let her go. She’s so much more than the girl who walked into the gym all those years ago, and I love every part of her. One day, I’ll prove that to her.

  Kali

  I sink into my couch, trying to find my chill, because that was intense. It needed to happen, and I’m glad I said what I did, but it took everything I had not to just kiss him. My heart wanted me to give him that chance he asked for, but my head demanded I send him on his way. Whenever I’ve followed my heart, and ignored my brain, I’ve been hurt, and I’m so very tired of trying to piece my heart back together.

  Picking up my phone, I note the 30 missed calls from Sean. I dial him back immediately, worried about something having happened to him, or his family.

  “Sean, are you okay?”

  “Okay? No, I’m not okay.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “My girlfriend’s a liar, that’s what.”

  Excuse me? “First of all, this is casual with us, Sean. And secondly, I haven’t lied to you, so I’m not sure where this is coming from.”

  “You left with Theo.”

  “No, I left at the same time as Theo, but not with him.”

  “So, you haven’t seen him since then?”

  “We talked, because we needed to say things to each other, and be able to move on as friends.”

  “You didn’t answer my calls because you were with him.”

  “I didn’t answer any calls. It was important for me to be focused on my conversation, because I needed that closure.”

  “I don’t want you to be friends with him.”

  “That’s not your choice, Sean.”

  “If you’re going to be with me, you can’t be friends with him.”

  I am so not the girl he thinks I am, but I’m all out of fight right now. “We can discuss this tomorrow.”

  “We will.”

  “Goodbye, Sean.”

  I hang up before he answers, knowing he’ll probably pout tomorrow, but I just can’t care right now. I am so over this day, emotionally, and physically, too. I just want a nice, hot bath, and my bed.

  It’s once I’m undressed and ready to get in the tub, that I see myself in the mirror, and remember the bruises on my upper arms. They don’t hurt, so I forgot they were there. Suddenly, my annoyance with Sean turns to unease. Is he going to grab me hard again? Shake me? I can take it, but should I?

  These questions and more plag
ue me as I soak in the bubbles, willing my body to succumb, and relax, even though my mind is at work. I sort each scenario I’m envisioning into little “boxes” in my mind, and analyze them one by one. I know Sean’s under stress, because his parents are prestigious, and Matt’s not easy on him at work, but is that justification for hurting me?

  Did he really hurt me? I mean, I have bruises, but Theo’s given me bruises when we’ve gotten rough before. Is one okay, while the other isn’t? Both came from passion—different kinds of passion—but passion, nonetheless. In the end, I decide to just see what happens, and go from there. It was probably just a one-time thing, anyway.

  Chapter 10

  Kali

  Even though I’m running the cosplay and geeky part of the fashion show, I still keep dressing like I’m going to lunch at the club. Today, I needed to cover the fading bruises, so I have on a pink floral dress with satiny flowers, and a white lining. The sleeves go to my elbows, and all I need is white gloves to go with my chignon, and designer heels, and I’d be the perfect Southern belle. Or not, but I can pretend, right?

  “We need to get started on selling tickets, sooner rather than later,” Melinda says. “I’ve got the ad mockups, and the flyer design, but it’s time to invite our friends.”

  “We should all sell at least 25 tickets each,” Vanessa says, turning to me. “If you need help, Kalila, I can share my rolodex.”

  “I have that many sold already, but thank you.”

  “You’ve sold 25 tickets?”

  “30, actually.”

  “I find that hard to believe,” she says, clearly annoyed by me doing anything on my own.

  “I don’t,” Melinda says. “Let me guess—the Foundation board, plus the employees and interns, and the Griffin wives.”

  “Not all the staff, but the intern mentors, yes. And everyone else you mentioned.”

  “That’s not fair,” Vanessa says, and I’m honestly confused.

  “It’s not a contest,” I tell her.

  “Not officially, no, but we do like bragging rights,” one of the other women, Carolyn, explains to me.

  “I’m going to win again, and do it without cheating,” Vanessa tells us, standing and storming off.