“Nine o’clock, young lady,” I hear Dad yell from the kitchen.
“Yes, Dad!”
Alec puts the cooler on the back of the truck and opens the door for me, then goes around and gets in.
“So, what's with the cooler?” he asks. “Where are we going?”
“I wish I could drive you and make it a real surprise.”
He raises an eyebrow, “Do you know how to?”
I laugh. “No.”
“Honestly, even if you could, I wouldn’t let you drive,” he laughs. “I’m very attached to my truck,” he winks at me and smiles. “So where to?”
“To the park before Grayson’s farm.”
He nods and starts driving. When we get to the park, he makes me wait until he opens my door.
“What now?” he grins.
“Can you get the cooler?”
“You know… that zombie movie is not making me feel very good about what could be in this cooler.”
I shake my head.
He watches me as I grab his baseball bag from the back of the truck. He looks quite curious and confused.
I lead him to the baseball field at the park. It’s already dark out, but all of the lights around the field are on. We go to the middle of the field, where I open his bag and pull out a blanket.
“How did that get in there?” he asks.
“Kyle.”
“Of course!” he says.
I put the blanket on the ground, sit on it, and then get the sandwiches and drinks out of the cooler.
“I have a feeling your dad wouldn’t approve of this date,” he says.
I laugh. “Relax. We’re just going to eat and then we are playing baseball.”
He grins and looks right into my eyes. “My dream date…”
We eat and relive the day when I moved in next door. Then we start playing ball for a while. He pitches, I attempt to hit the ball, and I joke about Kyle being a better pitcher. My heart sinks when he lowers his head and I catch him just holding the ball in his hand and staring at it.
“Alec?”
He doesn’t say anything, so I drop the bat and walk toward him.
“I feel the pain in my wrist,” he says in a low tone. “It’s the same pain I remember feeling when—” he stops there. He doesn’t need to say anything else.
“Should you go to the hospital?”
He shakes his head.
I want to tell him not to worry until after his appointment, that things could still be okay, but those words don’t come out. He sits on the ground, with his hands covering his face. I lower myself to the ground and pull his hands away from his face. I sit on his lap, hug him, and we both cry. I cry for him. I cry for Kristi. And I cry because I don’t want to lose anyone ever again, especially Alec.
“I’m sorry I ruined our date,” he says.
“You didn’t ruin anything.” I stand up and extend my hand to him. “Come on.”
I lead him back to the blanket and we lay down, looking up at the stars.
After a while, the lights dim and without even noticing, I start to play with the rubber band that I put on my wrist the night before.
He sits up, “Please give me the rubber band and tell me what’s on your mind, Sky.”
I sit up and give it to him, but I’m not ready to talk.
“What are you thinking about, Sky? You can talk to me.”
I keep staring at the blanket.
“I want to ask you something, but I don’t think it’s fair for me to do that.”
“Just ask, Sky. Anything.”
I look up at him. “If you are sick, I don’t want you to give up without a fight. I don’t want you to give up on life… to give up on us. I lost you for ten years. I can’t imagine what would be like to lose you for eternity.”
ALEC
It feels like time stops. I keep thinking about the days that I was too sick to get out of bed, the days when I was awful to everyone around me. I can’t tell her ‘no’. Not with her asking me this way.
“Let’s say that I do agree to getting treatment.”
Her eyes light up.
“Sky, you’re going to want to leave me at some point. I don’t want you to feel bad about doing what’s right for you.”
She stands up and wipes her cheeks with the back of her hand. “If you think that, you don’t know me at all.” She turns around and starts to leave.
I quickly get up and go after her. Once I reach her, I grab her arm and she stops.
“Please look at me,” I say and she turns around.
“I know you, Sky. I know exactly what kind of person you are. You’re the girl who sees beauty in everyone. You’re kind and smart and you see past superficial stuff. But treatment was tough. It was tough then and it could be worse now, because—”
“Because?” she asks.
“Because you make me want to live. You make me want to grow old with you. You give me hope, and that scares me more than anything else.”
She smiles. “Does that mean you would fight?”
“It means that I’m confused as hell, but I have to fight.” I take a deep breath and whisper, “With you in my life, I just have to.”
She gets closer to me. Her arms go around my shoulders.
“Thank you,” she whispers against my lips.
“I wish you could go with me tomorrow,” I say.
“I know. I don’t even want to leave you alone tonight.”
“Then stay with me,” I beg. I know it is wrong. I know we will both get in a world of trouble, but I don’t want to be alone.
Just as I ask that, her phone rings, and I can hear her mom at the other end of the line.
“Skylar, It’s an hour past your curfew… on a school night. Where are you?”
I look at her and I feel bad right away. She bites her bottom lip. “Mom, Alec needs me. His appointment is tomorrow and I know I’ll be in a world of trouble, but I can’t leave him like this.”
“She wants me to put her on speaker,” she whispers.
“Okay,” I say.
She does and her mom starts talking to me, “Alec, I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but I need my daughter safe at home. Please do the right thing. I don’t care if you two sleep in the living room tonight. Just please bring her home.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I drive Sky home and I feel obligated to walk her to the door and apologize. Her mom looks and sounds mad, but I can also see the pity in her eyes.
She shakes her head. “You’re still in trouble, young lady, and we’ll talk about this later, but I talked to Alec’s mom. You can both sleep in the living room… on separate couches... I have work to do so I’ll be up in the dining room all night anyway.”
We go in. I’m thankful her dad is already sleeping. She gets ready for bed and gets us both blankets. We lay down, one on each couch, but they are close enough on one side where I reach for her hand and that is how we both fall asleep.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
SKYLAR
Sometimes, when you have too much going on, you forget to pay attention to the world around you.
In the morning, Alec is already gone, and mom is sleeping with her head and arms leaning on top of the dining room table.
I quietly get up to get dressed and then leave to meet Alec outside. His appointment is early afternoon and I’m glad he’s going to school for the first half of the day. It should help keep his mind busy.
During second period, he sends me a text. ‘I can’t stand this anxiety. I have to see you. Can you get a pass and meet me by the guy’s locker room?’
‘I’ll find a way.’
I get a bathroom pass and go meet him. He looks pale and really nervous, almost to the point where he’s shaking.
I give him a hug. I literally jump when I hear a really loud noise come from the other end of the school.
“What the hell was that?” I ask.
Then another…
…. and another.
> “It sounds like fireworks, but--” I don’t even get to finish that sentence. Alec is already pulling me inside the locker room and running toward the back corner. “Stay here,” he says. He goes toward the door and starts to move things in front of it; but he’s panicking. He keeps looking around trying to figure out what to do next.
“What’s going on?” I ask and start to move toward him.
“Stay there!” He yells. “Those are gun shots.”
I go into shock. Alec comes towards me. He gets me to sit on the floor and I feel his body covering mine. I can’t move or form a sentence. I see Alec grabbing his phone, talking to someone, and then, past him, I can see the bench in front of the door move as someone tries to open it. I try to say his name, to warn him, but nothing comes out. And then, I see Mike come into the locker room, with the gun pointed at Alec, and I think, ‘This can’t be happening. He just chose to live. This can’t…’ My eyes meet Mike’s. I see the pain in his eyes and something dark that was never there before. I don’t hear the sound of the gun going off again. I was probably already pushing Alec away from me before it even went off. I push him so hard that he falls back. I start to stand, but a moment later, I’m down on the floor with him, staring into his eyes. I hear another gun shot, but my eyes are already closed.
***
I can hear the sirens…
I can hear his voice saying, “Please, God. I don’t care if I am sick again. PLEASE just save her.”
And then… everything is quiet. I find myself in an open field, with two swings not too far away. As I take the first step toward the swings, I notice that I’m barefoot, and I’m wearing a white summer dress that I’ve never seen before.
I feel confused. ‘Where am I? What happened? Where is Alec?’
“Skylar—” I hear someone whisper my name. The voice is too far away for me to recognize who it is, but it sounds familiar. I keep walking toward the swings. There is no one there, but the voice is getting louder. Once I get really close, I see one of the swings is moving like someone is swinging. I know it can’t be the wind because the other swing is not moving at all.
I hear my name again.
“Kristi?” I ask and I hear her giggle.
“I have missed you,” she says.
“Why can’t I see you?” I ask, looking around.
“Because you don’t belong here,” she says in a cheerful tone.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“Yes, I am.”
“I miss you, too.”
“I know,” she says. “But you have to go back.”
“What happened to me?” I ask.
“Just remember… have hope--have faith--things have a way of working out.”
“How do I go back?” I ask.
“Think about the ones you care about, Sky.”
“Alec…” I whisper.
The last thing I remember is that the swing stopped moving.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
ALEC
“Do you need anything?” I hear Kyle ask, but I don’t move. “I can go get you some water, or maybe something to eat.” I just stare at the wall.
“Honey, you need to eat something,” says Kyle’s mom.
I look over at her. My eyes feel heavy from crying so damn much.
“Not until she’s out of surgery. I need to know she’s okay.”
I go back to staring at the wall.
I can overhear her say a few names that I recognize as she asks Kyle to go check on three guys from the baseball team. She tells him she’ll go check on Mandy and Lizzie.
No one mentions the other student. That lucky bastard is already out of surgery. I can see all the cops coming in and out of the hospital for reports, and I heard that some are guarding his room.
“I’m going to check on the guys,” says Kyle. “Text me if you need anything, Bro.”
I keep staring at the wall.
Kyle leaves and I’m left alone with Sky’s parents. Her dad flipped out on me after I gave my report to the cops. He got in my face and told me just how insane it is that his daughter would take a bullet for me. I don’t blame him. It terrifies me that she would go to that extent to save me. He even tried to kick me out, but her mom calmed him down. Either way, I wasn’t going to leave.
Kyle’s mom comes back not long after she left. “Mandy didn’t make it,” she says and she sits on the chair and lowers her head. I can hear her sob.
I stand up and start to pace back and forth. I then go to the nurses’ desk.
“Is there any way to find out how it’s going in there? Or how much longer it will be?”
She looks over at Sky’s parents then back at me. “I’m sorry. We’ll give updates as soon as we have them.”
I go back to my seat. I see my parents walk back with Kyle. They were staying with some of the guys’ parents in case they needed anything. So far, we lost Mandy, and two of the guys from the team; Grayson being one of them. You’d think that after hearing that so many have died, you’d become numb to the feeling of more loses, but it’s the opposite. Every time we lose someone, I feel the loss of everyone else all over again. The pain gets worse each time.
When I spot the doctor come through the door, I get up and go toward him.
“How is she?”
He looks past me, at Sky’s parents, and waits for them to reach us before he says anything. I hate hospitals and their policies.
“Surgery was successful,” he says. “We’ll need to keep a close eye on her for a while to prevent infection, but she’s fine. She is—“ I stop listening as soon as I see the nurses move her down the other hallway and toward the ICU. I rush toward them.
One of the nurses tries to stop me and asks who I am. The other just seems taken by surprise. I ignore both and grab Skylar’s hand. She feels so cold.
The nurses look back at Sky’s parents, who are watching me in a strange way. Maybe they’re starting to realize that the connection Sky and I have is stronger than they thought.
Sky’s mom nods at the nurse and they start moving again. When we get to the doors that lead to ICU, they stop. “You’ll have to wait for her parents before you can go in.” And I’m left wondering when, or if, her dad will allow me to see her.
CHAPTER FORTY
I sit in the waiting room and wait. It’s been hours. Kyle bugs the hell out of me until I finally eat something. My parents try to get me to go home and rest, but I’m not going anywhere. Not until I see her… however long that may take.
Mom mentions rescheduling my appointment that was earlier today. I didn’t even think about it. At the moment, that is the least of my concerns. “Just tell me when it is after you schedule it, Mom. I’ll be there.”
“Okay, son. We’re going to check on the other parents again then we’re going home for a little while. Call me if you need us?” she asks.
I promise her I will and she leaves me alone with Kyle.
“I can’t believe Mandy is gone,” he says. I was so consumed with worry about Sky that I never stopped to ask him how he’s doing with all of this.
“How are you?” I ask.
“I—I don’t know. This doesn’t feel real. I keep thinking about Mandy and Grayson. That could’ve been us, you know?”
I nod.
“How is everyone else?” I ask.
“Last I heard everyone is in recovery. Mom said Lizzie wasn’t doing very well. I mean, she was fine after surgery and all, but she was freaking out. They had to give her a sedative. I don’t think she even knows about Mandy yet.”
I’d hate to be the one to tell her. I know Mandy and Lizzie weren’t always the greatest people to be around, but they’d been best friends since elementary school.
Kyle stays with me for a few more hours. At some point, both of us start to fall asleep in the chairs.
Kyle jumps awake, which makes me jump and be a lot more alert.
“We should get some rest,” he says.
“I’m staying. You can go though. You
’re not driving like this right?”
“No. Mom drove me here. I was in no shape to drive. I’ll call her.”
Kyle leaves minutes later to wait for his mom outside and I get a text from my mom. “Your dad is driving back to the hospital to pick you up. You need rest, son. Skylar’s parents will call you when you can see her.”
I just put my phone away. I’m not leaving.
When I look up from my phone, I see Sky’s dad standing in front of me.
I quickly stand up. “How is she?”
“She’s okay. Still sleeping. She wakes up for a few seconds, then falls asleep again.”
“May I see her, please?”
He hesitates. “Yes…” he hesitates again, “She has been saying your name in her sleep,” he sounds annoyed.
“Thank you,” I say as I’m already walking toward the ICU.
When I step into the room, I can’t make myself move past the door. She’s laying there, with all those wires and stuff, and in a way, it’s because of me. I wasn’t expecting her to push me out of the way and definitely not with that much force.
Her mom looks at me and it’s like she’s reading my mind. “This wasn’t your fault, Alec. Don’t you dare think that.”
“But your husband—”
She shakes her head. “He’s terrified. We all are. But he didn’t mean those things he said to you. You’ll have to give it time. He’ll come around.”
“Alec?” I hear Sky’s faint voice and rush to her bedside.
She opens her eyes and tries to fight to keep them open, but they close again. I sit on the chair next to her and grab her hand.
A few minutes later, Sky’s dad is back in the room.
“Your dad is here, Alec. You should go.”
I take a deep breath while staring at her. I don’t want to leave. I want to be here when she wakes up.
I lower my head and kiss her hand. Then I let go and turn around to leave.
“Don’t leave,” her voice seems slightly louder, stronger. I look back at her and see her bright blue eyes staring right into mine.
I can’t leave her.
I look at her mom because I know her dad doesn’t like me much right now. “May I please stay?” I ask.
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