by Amber Kalkes
My hands are clumsy, as I crawl up his arm and grip the collar of his black button up. I pull it down and reveal the tempting lines of his ivory neck. I lick my lower lip and look up to meet his eyes. His crimson eyes are pensive, but he tilts his head away from me, offering his throat to me. I press my lips to his neck softly and close my eyes, just feeling his pulse against my lips.
I go on instinct. My body seems to know what to do to stop the burning in my throat, and I give into it. No use fighting it anymore. Not with him feeling so willing to give me a taste.
Baring my teeth, I open my mouth as far as it’ll go before I use my fangs to slice into the flesh of his neck. My moan vibrates against his neck as I get my first real taste of him. He is as sweet as I remembered, but now I can taste every undertone. I am so wrapped in the flavors, that I barely register his hands on my hips.
My fangs are still in his neck as I push him until he’s lying on his back. I straddle his hips and continue to suckle on his neck. It a powerful feeling, drinking from him and making him bend to my will. I can see the appeal of it now. Being bitten was addictive, that’s true, but biting is even more addictive. Especially when it comes to biting someone as delicious as Tobias.
I remove my fangs from his neck and lick his bite clean, like he’s done to me so many times. I swear I hear him whine at the loss of my fang and tongue as I pull back. I sit back on his lap and look down at him. He’s a vision, that’s for sure.
His chest is rising very fast and the irises of his eyes are wide and dark, nearly corrupting the red. He wants me. I can smell it, which is strange. The musk in his scent becomes stronger than the other, more subtle scents. A powerful feeling comes over me again. I can make him want, but I don’t have to give. It’s sort of thrilling.
“What are you doing? Come back here.” He says roughly.
I lick my lips clean and I see him shiver as he watches the movement, “I’m wondering what to do with you.”
“What?”
I don’t answer his question. Instead, I press my hands to his still covered chest and move them down before letting my fingers skim under the bottom of his shirt. His skin is warm to me now, not cold like before. Actually, I think he’s sweating. I didn’t know he could sweat. Maybe I just didn’t notice.
As I move my hands up the skin of his chest, I pause when I feel something beating against my palm. His chest is moving rapidly and I can hear his heart crystal clear now, but that’s not what’s grabbing my attention. His heart is incredibly fast. The only comparison I can think of is that of a hummingbird’s wings. Moving so fast that you can’t even see them but you know that they’re moving.
“That’s… interesting.”
“Shoshanna…”
“Shh.” I order, completely distracted, “Don’t move.”
I hear him swallow thickly but he stays still.
I look down at him but now his eyes distract me. They look so much richer now. Still the same shade of red, but now they seem more vibrant. Gold flecks are circling his rapidly re-expanding pupils as he looks back at me. His warm breath dances across my lips causing my tongue to jut out, to capture and savor it as it glides across my lower lip. I can taste the mint on my taste buds and I frown. This is all very strange.
“Wallflower…” He tries again, but I give him a warning look.
“Shh.” I order again and he does, but he looks uncertain. So, with an eye roll I explain further, “I want to explore, and you need to let me. This is all new to me.”
Mutely he nods and I feel myself soften. The image of him plastered against Josette comes uninvited into my mind, and I purse my lips. Maybe I need to let him talk, to explain himself. Maybe that's all I need, to ease my mind.
“What happened?” I ask softly, “Where were you?”
Tobias’ eyes look pained, and he sighs before speaking, “She accosted me in my study and shoved a sabre in my heart. You’ve asked before if that would kill me, and it doesn’t. It paralyzes. I couldn’t move. I could hear your screams of pain, but I couldn’t move.”
“Where is she now?”
He smirks in an unsettling way, “Tyler found her.”
“He was the one who found me.” I remember, “He was yelling at you.”
“Yes.”
“You didn’t want to make me like this.” I state. I know he didn’t. The words are faint in my memory, but I remember my thoughts on them.
“No.” He says softly, “I told you I wouldn’t, but I was weak.”
I search his face for a moment, before leaning down and closing the space between our lips. This is only the second time I’ve ever kissed him, and this time feels very different. He cares about me. I know that now. I knew it before. But for some reason, this makes it seem more real. Words can mean nothing, but actions... actions that can save a life, my life, those mean so much more to me.
“Thank you.”
He frowns up at me, “For what?”
I don’t answer him. Instead I just kiss him again. Tobias grips my hips and shifts us so I’m on my back. He hovers over me as he speaks, “You have nothing to thank me for, you know that, don’t you? You owe me nothing,”
“I know.” I whisper, “But I’m thankful all the same.”
My legs are bent on either side of his hips, and my breath speeds up at the feel of him between my legs. I turn him on. I can feel the evidence of that against me. My face heats up in embarrassment. When his hands brush the inside of my thighs, I realize that I’m just in a pair of underwear and one of his shirts. I smile against his lips at the wardrobe choice.
Death, for most of my life felt like a certainty. I sought it because I was sure that I had nothing else to live for. I had lived depressed of the life I was going to get. Nothing seemed possible beyond the pain and misery. Now, there is something else. I can see it now, as faint and far away as it may be. A light at the end of the tunnel, a hint of the many things I have left to see.
I don’t love Tobias and I won’t pretend that I do. What I do feel is something very close to that, something scarily close. Though, my fear of that isn’t as overwhelming as it used to be. All there is now, is the optimism of something more. Something substantial. It‘s something I can feel, and maybe even allow to become a reality.
The irony of it all isn’t lost on me, of course. I had to die to feel alive. And that’s exactly how I feel.
Alive.
Epilogue
Ravage
My pinkie finger traces the rim of the beer bottle, as I stare absently at the TV screen in the bar. I’m dressed pretty casually in just some blue jeans and a plain purple V-neck, blending in pretty well with the local patrons. My hair is half pinned back so people can see my face, though, it is half obscured by a pair of square framed eyeglasses. I look like any other college student in a bar on a Friday night. At least, I think I do. I wouldn’t know. I didn’t go to college.
My eyes dart around the bar as I try to find someone, anyone who seems interested in me. Mentally, I’m cursing Tobias for even coming up with this dumbass idea. Or was it my idea? I can’t remember anymore, but it’s still idiotic. I can’t lure anyone into anything, and yet, here I am trying to do just that.
When I told him that this wouldn’t work, he simply smiled at me and said ‘oh come now, wallflower, you’re incredibly sexy when you try to be’. I smacked him in the shoulder and told him to rot in a ditch somewhere. He does it on purpose of course, just to annoy the shit out of me. I roll my eyes under my false eyeglasses as the thought comes across my mind. When did he ever stop trying to irritate me?
I haven’t spoken to my parents in a month. Not since that disastrous dinner, and the three weeks since my turn into… this. I wrote them a letter though, explaining everything that had happened. I never sent it. Instead I burned it in the fireplace. They don’t need to know about all this. It’s for the best that they never know.
“Hi.” A deep but cheerful voice chirps from beside me.
I turn to look
over my shoulder to see a young man, not much older than me, with shaggy brown hair, and matching glazed over brown eyes. He’s pretty tall, but built like a shit brick house, meaning broad. He gives me a lazy smile, telling me he’s also pretty wasted right now.
“Um, hi.” I say with a hesitant smile back.
“You’re new on campus? I haven’t seen you around before.”
I nod and clear my throat so he can hear me over the fairly noisy bar, “Yeah. You go to Clay?”
He nods pointing to his baseball hat with a smile. I look up to see the college logo on the maroon colored hat, which makes his hair wing about a bit around his ears. He’s very boy next door-ish. My eyes flicker down to his pulse, but I scold myself and meet his gaze again. I can’t allow myself to get distracted.
“Ah, well I guess should be more aware of my surroundings, huh?” I laugh.
He grins back but shrugs, “Nah, pretty girl like you are bound to have some knight to help you in your time of need.”
I want to roll my eyes, but I don’t. Instead, I give him a forced shy smile, and try to look pleased by his lame pick up line. Just for a reaction, I’m half tempted to tell him that I could crush his skull with my hand. He wouldn’t believe me, but imagine the look on his face when I actually do it. I know these aren’t my feelings though. This is Tobias’, who at the moment, is listening very intently through our mental bond.
“The name is Ryan.” The young man tells me, offering me his hand.
I hesitate for a second, but eventually take it with a smile, “Shoshanna.”
He nods appreciatively, “Unique name.”
“Most people tend to think so.”
“You look like you need another beer, Shoshanna. May I?”
I accept and Ryan grabs me another beer, though, I can’t say I’m shocked when I see him slip something in it out of the corner of my eye. This is perfect, I think. This is only my third time hunting, and my first time doing it at random. Usually, I stalk my meals, making sure they’re the undesirable type. I don’t want to kill innocent people, but I also know I have to survive. This is a nice in-between.
“Here you go.” He chirps, handing me a new beer bottle.
I take a long drink, very aware of his eyes on me. Once I move my lips off the rim I lick my lips slowly before grinning at him. He smiles back, but I can see the gleam of lust in his eyes as they zero in on my lips.
“Thank you.”
“So… what’s your major?”
We talk for what feels like an hour, before I realize he’s starting to frown when I’m not looking. Shit, I’m supposed be acting all drugged out. Taking a deep breath, I knead my forehead with my palm and close my eyes like I’m in pain.
“Are you okay?” Ryan asks though I can hear a bit of excitement in his voice.
Sick bastard.
I nod but keep the pained look on my face, “Just a bit dizzy.”
“Do you want me to walk you home?”
I look up at him with my best puppy dog gaze, “Would you? I don’t want to be a burden…”
“No problem, Shoshanna.” He says with a grin.
I give him a relieved smile, “Thank you, Ryan.”
Ryan takes a hold of my hand as we make our way out of the bar. This is our second time having physical contact, and my skin crawls even more with prolonged exposure. I try to keep my disgust to myself, though. If I think I can’t do this, I know Tobias is in the wings, waiting for me to give the cue.
I fake a stumble and bump into Ryan. He steadies me, and I give him yet another thankful smile. I try to make it as dopey as I can. I want him to think he has the perfect prey. He's looking for someone who will be trusting and physically weak enough for him to take advantage of. He smiles down at me and puts his arms around my shoulders, helping to keep me up right.
“Gosh, I feel weird.” I slur.
“We’re almost there.” He says in response.
I look up at him, “Where are we going?”
“Just this place I know.”
I slump into him a bit before mumbling an “okay.”
He walks me into a secluded section of a park, and although I know he can’t see very well, I can see everything. It’s been interesting having to adjust to the changes. My eyesight is better, my speed and my sense of smell is insane. I wouldn’t change it though. I feel strong like this, more in control, better.
“Here we are, pretty girl, open your eyes.” Ryan coos.
I roll my eyes under my lids before opening them. “I-I thought we were going home.”
“Later.”
“But…”
His mouth is over mine and he’s rough with it. Before, I would have been scared. But now, I’m no one’s victim. Deciding this is my moment, I latch onto his bottom lip and bite hard. He pushes me back, but I don’t move until I want to. One of my fangs goes clear through his lower lip, and he cries out against my mouth. I step back from him and smirk a little.
He cups his mouth, blood dripping from his lip as he yells at me, “You bitch! You bit me!”
I lick my lips smirking at him. “Ryan?”
“What?” He spits.
“I’m hungry.”
I move too fast for him to react, or try to fight back. I’m latched to his neck in seconds. He yells, but I shut him up with my hand as I begin to drink my fill of him. Wrapping my legs around him, he keeps trying to push me away, but it’s tiring him out. It doesn’t take long for him to fall to his knees and then finally onto the ground below.
When I hear the hulking man’s heart stop beating, I push myself off him and onto my knees beside him. Ryan looks to be asleep, minus the blood leaking over the left shoulder of his gray t-shirt. I wipe my mouth on the back of my hand, as I stand up and tilt my head, a little fascinated by how still he is.
Arms wrap around me and the tingle across my skin tells me exactly who it is. Tobias nuzzles his nose into my neck as he inhales my scent into his lungs, while I do the same to him. His scent hits my lungs and soaks into my bones making me relax against him.
This is my life now, I think. It’s something strange and horrific to most, but the point is that… it’s a life. A life I can live.
The End
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Chapter 1
Wendy
"Move it!" a nasty voice rang out in the hall of the high school.
Wendy turned around, making her blonde hair swirl around her like a fan. She bit her lip to stop the retort burning on the tip of her tongue. Standing there was the school's popular girl, Denise. She walked past Wendy, purposefully bumping her shoulder enough to make it hurt. Casting her eyes downward to hide the tears threatening to spill from her blue eyes, she silently moved further toward the walls littered with various high school posters made by the cheer squad.
"Don't you just love her?" Wendy smiled when she saw her close friend, Jamie, was next to her. She saw her friend’s eyes were on the popular girl with anger and contempt in them. Jamie was protective of her smaller friend, always had been since they met each other in the sandbox. She towered over Wendy's small frame at only 5'5" while Wendy herself was only 5' even.
Wendy shook her head and pushed her black frame glasses up even more, since they were slipping from her pert nose. Everything about her screamed fragile and pixie-like. Jamie threw her flame-orange hair in a messy ponytail while they stood there.
"I think she's just misunderstood."
Jamie looked at her with disbelief on her freckled face. "You're too nice for your own good. C'mon, let's get to class."
Clutching her books even closer to her frame, Wendy agreed and they both took off for their first period – English, which happened to be her favorite.
When they reached the sh
abby classroom, they went to take their seats at the back. Even though they were both classified as nerds by their peers in school, they each found homework tedious and mundane. Although, Wendy will actually do her work, whereas Jamie will do her work at the last minute, while she was in class, making her barely pass subjects with a C- average. Soon, the class filled up with far more students than there were seats available. With budget cuts, all classes were overfilled. Unfortunately, the class included Denise and that always brought a sense of dread to Wendy. She uttered a silent prayer that in this class she would not notice her, even though that seemed in vain, thanks to this morning's incident. Without wanting to, she was now on the girl's radar.
"Good morning, class. Please settle down!" Mrs. Rush came in looking slightly disheveled, which, without a doubt, had to be due to being late by five minutes. Wendy and Jamie both liked this teacher since she left them alone in the back, never asking them questions.
Plus, Mrs. Rush was a quirky sort of person, always getting overly excited about what subject she was talking about. Her hair was always in a very messy bun atop her head and it always came loose the more animated she became during class. "Today we're going to read about… treasure!"
Some students did perk up about that and it made Wendy smile to herself. This teacher could make a ball of yarn seem enthralling. Said teacher perched herself on her tall stool and opened a small booklet.
"Many centuries ago, here in our town of Mossy-Rock came settlers for the first time. They came from England in hopes of finding prosperous land and good fortune. It was slow at first, until one day, a man came into the small community wearing expensive garb and walking with confidence. His presence demanded respect and the townsfolk here knew he was very rich.
“They wondered, what was a man like him doing in their humble little town. Many fathers already began to think of marrying off their daughters with respectable dowries, but he turned them all down. Eventually, people left him alone. The next day more men came in to do this rich man's bidding, making the townsfolk that much more intrigued. Then the men and 'the mystery man,' as the town dubbed him, went off into the woods and disappeared for the next twenty days."