Second Chance Hero

by Liz Lee

  Mr. Miller was like that. Always stepping in to help the kids out. Amazing really. The man was probably the opposite of Creepy Stan. Too bad Nancy didn’t want to go out with their principal. That would be a cute couple. Cute, fun and caring. Someone to go have a good time with. She could just imagine dinner dates, bowling, game nights.

  But that was stupid. Because Nancy wasn’t ever going to date Mr. Miller. And even if she did, Lil would just be a third wheel because David was a short-term deal. Once Miguel was safe, she was back on her own.

  The fist in her stomach knotted a little tighter at the thought and she told herself it was just the nacho cheese smell. It didn’t have anything to do with being lonely and maybe just maybe still a little in love with the man guaranteed to break her heart if she let him.

  David opened the apartment door and laughed when Scamp completely ignored him and went straight for Lil instead.

  Didn’t take long to figure out the dog’s loyalties.

  Lil’d been unusually quiet in the truck. Probably that asinine counselor.

  If he didn’t know Stan Anderson, he’d put the man on the top of the wanted for helping Degas list. Once upon a time he’d been a good counselor. But these days he was an ass, and a racist one at that. Not a good combination for working with a ninety percent Hispanic school.

  He tossed his keys on the counter, opened the fridge and tried not to be jealous of the way Lil was scratching Scamp’s ears, laughing as the dog slobbered all over her, a complete and total servant. He so understood.

  “You want something to drink? Beer? Wine? Dr Pepper?” Lil was a real sucker for Dr Pepper. One frosty mug full and he could talk her out of her clothes and maybe put a smile on that sweet face of hers.

  She shook her head. “No. I’m not thirsty. Just tired.”

  He looked at her then. Really looked at her. The rings under her eyes had grown. Her face was whiter than normal. He could almost see her freckles, even though he was clear across the room. Damn.

  “It hurt you.”

  She shrugged his words away but he could see how hard she focused on Scamp. “I’ll be okay.”

  “I didn’t mean for the game to hurt you, Lil. It’s where we could get the most information.”

  She stood, stretched her arms over her head, her baby blue t-shirt hugging her curves in all the wrong places. He was such a loser for thinking about her like this.

  “I don’t know what information you’re looking for.”

  He forced his eyes away from the white skin of her belly. Forced his mind to blank when it conjured images of how soft that skin was. How it felt to splay his fingers over her stomach and kiss her neck. How her hair fell across his shoulders just so.

  He cleared his throat. “Just tell me what you saw.”

  He didn’t mean the words to come out as gruff as they did. She frowned but shrugged and started her list. The band sat in their normal place. The dads and moms in theirs too. Students in the student section. She sighed and he blew out a frustrated breath.

  “Not a laundry list Lil. Recreate it for me. As if I weren’t there.”

  “But you were….”

  “Please. I promise this isn’t a waste of time.”

  “Whatever.” She sat at the breakfast bar. Closed her eyes. Started again. For the first few minutes it was the same as before but then, finally, it changed.

  Her frown became more focused as the line between her closed eyes deepened. “There’s a faint sense of fear in the air. More kids with parents. More mothers watching the student section. Police everywhere.”

  Her eyes snapped open and she leaned forward. “Nancy and I saw Mr. Miller with a policeman downstairs. The cop wanted to arrest a student for public intox. Mr. Miller stopped the arrest. Called the student’s parents. Nancy said that was normal.”

  David thought about the principal. About the stories he’d heard. Something about the man bothered him. Was it the way Lil looked up to him or something more? “Probably was.”

  “Or maybe he suspected the officer?”

  David knew she was reaching. Trying to help. “Unless he’s helping Degas, Miller doesn’t know the cops are involved.”

  “I don’t know.” She rubbed her hands over her face. “It’s all so hopeless, David. I hate this. I hate it.”

  He could feel her frustration, and he knew she was right. This was hopeless on so many levels. He was going to hurt her. Like a train wreck on the movie screen he could feel it coming, hear the horns blasting like crazy, but he couldn’t get out of the way. Unless…“So go home.”

  “Stop it.” Her eyes snapped to his. “You know that’s not going to happen.”

  He did know it. He knew and it scared him half to death. He leaned in close enough to get a good whiff of her scent. Ivory soap and Tide laundry detergent combined with pure, sexy as hell Lil. “These people aren’t pretend Lil. If they know the truth about what you’re doing, they will kill you.”

  She pushed away from the breakfast bar, away from him. “I know that.” She whirled around, frustrated as she leaned against the pale yellow kitchen wall and brought her arms across her chest. Defensive. Angry. Sad.

  Sexy as hell. God, he was a loser of ultimate proportions.

  She repeated her words. “I know that. But that’s interesting, you know? I know it’s not pretend. Miguel and his family are missing. His father’s dead. Degas isn’t pretend. But everyone says he is. You heard Stan. And Nancy’s lived here forever. But Degas is like a phantom in the mist. How can a man terrorize both sides of the border and not be caught? It’s crazy.”

  David noticed she’d pushed the conversation away from her own mortality and toward Degas’s seeming immortality. And he decided to let it go. Because the truth was, train wreck or not, he didn’t want her to go. “Invisibility comes at a high price. Power. Help. Hopefully with the Hernandez family, he’s finally made a mistake.”

  She pushed off the wall, paced his kitchen. “But how? And what’s different?”

  Where Degas was concerned answers were few and far between. Who was he? Where did he come from? No one knew. But this question had an answer. “They fought back. And they might have paid a huge price, but there’s a very good chance they’ll help the good guys win this time.”

  She stopped pacing and smiled sadly at him. “In the face of such bravery, how could you want me to leave?”

  She had him there and she knew it. He forced himself not to stand, not to cross the room, grab her shoulders and show her just how very much he wanted her to stay.

  “I don’t want you to leave. Hell, this is my very own episode of Fantasy Island.” And then he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t fight her pull anymore. He stood, walked the five steps to her. Her breath hitched, he heard it, knew she could feel the same electricity burning between them.

  He could kiss her. He could. But he wasn’t going to. Not yet. Instead he leaned close, made sure she saw the truth in his eyes. “I don’t want you to leave, Lil. I just don’t want you to die either.”

  A few minutes later Lil sat alone in David’s kitchen with Scamp, a piece of lemon pound cake and a severe case of regrets.

  David’s boss had called with an assignment and just like that he’d changed from the tender, caring man she wanted to kiss into a man determined to catch some unlucky lady’s husband in the act of infidelity.

  She bit into the cake and tossed Scamp a bite.

  She should’ve kissed him. It might have shocked him silly but it would’ve eased the tension she couldn’t shake.

  Scamp barked and she tossed him another bite of the cake then poured herself a glass of wine. Cake wasn’t going to cut it. Wine probably wouldn’t either. But maybe it would help a little.

  How could she possibly think about kissing him?

  The man broke her heart into a million pieces. And he’d used her.

  Just like he was using her now.

  She sighed and tossed another bite of cake to the dog. Why, why, why was she still attrac
ted to him? Why? What was wrong with her?

  Right. Like she didn’t know the answer to that one. Her heart didn’t know any better than to go chasing after someone who was going to toss it right back like nothing. It’s why she still cared when her parents missed her birthday.

  But David was different.

  She was stuck with her parents for a lifetime. David could be fun. Other people had flings all the time.

  Scamp rolled onto his back and she rubbed his belly knowing the truth.

  She’d never have a fling with David. She cared too much. It would hurt too bad when he rode off into the sunset.

  And he’d already made it perfectly clear forever wasn’t his way of doing things.

  She looked at the curled edges of a painting his baby sister Isabel had done for him. It had hung on his fridge for three years. Isabel had signed it, dated it and drawn a big heart in the corner.

  He loved his family. And she supposed he might even love her in a different kind of way. His family had his forever. And they deserved it.

  The phone rang and her heart flip flopped as she picked it up, half afraid it would be bad news about Miguel.

  Instead it was David’s sister, Anna. Crying.

  David slid his key into the front door and frowned at the lights.

  “Lil.”

  No answer.

  Dammit. His heart dropped to his toes at the full glass of wine on the counter, the scraps of cake left on the plate. Scamp looked up from his bed next to the couch, but he didn’t come running.

  A quick check of the apartment proved Lil was gone.

  After he’d specifically told her not to go anywhere without him.

  Dammit. He didn’t need this. He looked at his watch. Two in the morning. His brain was fried. He was tired and a wreck. And Lil was missing.

  He picked up the phone, started to dial Ryan’s number when the door opened and Lil walked in.

  Relief flooded him first and he sat before his legs gave out as he tossed the phone on the counter.

  “What the hell are you doing?” He hadn’t meant the words to sound so angry, but he wasn’t taking them back. No way.

  Her eyes narrowed as she let the door click shut behind her. “Maybe you want to rephrase that?”

  No way. He stood. Stalked across the living room and slammed the locks into place before grabbing her shoulders and repeating his words. “What. The. Hell. Are. You. Doing.”

  She pulled away from him. “You’re overreacting, David.”

  The hell he was. “I’m under-reacting, Lil.” The visions he’d had of her dead in an alley or a Juarez cemetery or on his doorstep flashed through his brain. “You have no idea….”

  “I left a message.” She didn’t let him finish, looked pointedly at the flashing light on the machine.

  It didn’t matter. “I thought they had you.”

  She brushed away his concern.

  “I picked up Anna. She called crying. Devastated. You have no idea.”

  And just like that he deflated. “Anna?”

  Lil was in full battle mode now. Cheeks red, she crossed the room, poked his chest with her index finger. “You should be thanking me. She was going to walk home. Can you imagine?”

  Oh God.

  He opened his mouth to apologize, to call himself an ass, but she didn’t let him. “Her boyfriend left her at the dance because she wouldn’t have sex with him.”

  “I’m…”

  She wasn’t done. “So I picked her up. Took her home. Told her to never even think about walking home again and she laughed at me, David. Laughed at me. Told me I needed to lighten up. How can your family not know the truth? We’ve got to tell them, David. We’ve got to tell everyone. This is insane. She was going to walk home. And then I come home expecting to finally, finally get my glass of wine, the wine I’ve been thinking about all while your sister wants to talk about sex and virginity and birth control and how freaking safe the streets of this city are, and instead I get you being all psycho crazy worried because you didn’t check the stupid answering machine or your stupid voice mail because your phone was off.”

  Oh Jesus. He didn’t want to think about his sister and sex. “I’m sorry.” He got the words out before she started again. “I had the phone off because I was on the job, and we can’t tell anyone more than what’s already out there.”

  “I told Anna to be safe. I told her to look at how many girls are missing. I told her the Hernandez family was gone. And you know what she said? She said they were probably mixed up with drug dealers. Degas is going to win again if we don’t do something, David.”

  She was right. “We’re doing all we can right now.”

  “It’s not enough.” She sat on the couch and buried her head in her hands and he wished he could tell her Degas wouldn’t win.

  But he’d been on the case for five years. He knew the truth and the truth was ugly.

  Sometimes the guys in white hats didn’t win. Sometimes they died.

  He grabbed her glass of wine, put it on the nicked coffee table next to the Sports Illustrated and TV Guide.

  She wasn’t crying, but she looked defeated. He’d done that to her.

  “I really am sorry, Lil. I was just afraid.”

  And God wasn’t that the truth? He’d been so afraid.

  “I know. You thought I was dead.” She smiled up at him, and he thought maybe she forgave him, just a little anyway.

  He handed her the wine and she sipped it before leveling him with her blue eyes filled with honest appreciation. “At least I know you care.”

  She was teasing him. Good. “I care. You know I care.”

  She closed her eyes again, inhaled deeply and he tried not to look at her chest as it rose and fell. Impossible.

  “I’m not going to sleep with you David.” She’d caught him staring. Damn.

  He looked away, not quite ashamed. “Of course not. That’s not… It’s just…” He quit talking and nearly tackled the phone when it rang.

  A reprieve was what he thought. Until Ryan delivered the news.

  “They’ve found Solidad Hernandez. She’s dead too.”

  Chapter Five

  He cared. Lil watched him grab the phone and nearly laughed. How pathetic was it that she caught him staring at her chest and it turned her on. How ridiculous that his bit of fear made her feel warm in all the right places.

  Crazy, crazy Lil.

  She watched his face fall and knew she didn’t want to know what the call was.

  No. No. No.

  “Lil.”

  She must’ve said the words. She shook her head. “No.”

  David looked defeated as he spoke. “They’ve found Solidad Hernandez. She’s dead, Lil. I’m so sorry.”

  He tried to grab her hand, but she pulled away. Nearly jumped from the couch, crossed the room and slammed the bedroom door. She needed to be alone. She needed….

  “Come on Lil. Let me in.”

  Her legs quit working. They just quit. She didn’t know why or how or even what she felt as she sank to the floor on the other side of the door and willed him away. She couldn’t take him now. She just couldn’t.

  “Go away David. I need some time alone. That’s all.”

  Her breath was coming fast, taking over, like she’d run a marathon instead of the few steps across his apartment.

  He wouldn’t understand but please God, she needed a few minutes. That’s all. Just a few minutes.

  She pulled a blanket off the bed and around her shoulders. She was so cold. She closed her eyes, leaned her head against the door and waited for the emotions to bombard her.

  Right now she felt nothing and that nothing scared her. God it scared her so bad.

  She tried to control her breathing. In two. Out two. In two. Out two.

  On the other side of door David spoke. “Okay.” He paused and she wondered if he meant it. “Just, I’m here if…you know, if you need me.”

  She heard the worry in his voice and almost l
aughed at the strangeness of it. If she needed him.

  Because she did. She wrapped the blanket tighter and let her forehead rest on her knees. She did need him. That was natural, wasn’t it? Devastating news should be the thing that drove her into his arms. She should want to be held, to hold, but she didn’t.

  She just wanted to be alone. To catch her breath. To feel. To think.

  Alone.

  Like always.

  Like that poor, poor girl. Solidad.

  She closed her eyes and finally the tears came.

  She’d been sitting on that couch playing pretend. She’d let herself forget how Rafe shook as he told of Degas taking Miguel away. And now Solidad was dead.

  She’d been thinking about kissing David like they were real. Like this was real. Like it mattered.

  She knew what she had to do.

  She stood, let the blanket fall to the floor and pulled the suitcase out of the closet. It wouldn’t take long. Just a few minutes really.

  She started tossing her things into the case. Her shoes, her bras, her soap, David hated Ivory anyway.

  She was a distraction. She told herself that as she found her socks and tossed them alongside her nightgown. This wasn’t about what she wanted. It was about please, God, finding Miguel alive. About stopping that horrible man Rafe called monster.

  But how? She was a teacher for Christ’s sake. She couldn’t do anything. And reading the bad guys to death wasn’t an option. So what?

  What? What could she, Lil Palmer, do?

  She collapsed on the bed and pulled David’s pillow to her face and inhaled at the same time she sobbed into it knowing it was all impossible. The family she’d always wanted, David, finding Miguel.

  A few minutes later, she brushed her tears away and pushed his now damp pillow across the bed before sitting down in David’s ugly orange overstuffed chair. She grabbed the portfolio of Miguel and Solidad’s papers from the floor next to the bed. Something in here would tell her what she needed to know. Something had to.

  She was crying. He could hear her sobs as papers shuffled.

  It drove him crazy the way she did this, the way she just closed everything off. Body and soul. Everything shut down and she pulled so far away he wondered if she’d ever come back.