“Jesus Addie, this isn’t a damn Hallmark movie. And I didn’t tell him to take it slow; I basically said it’ll go at its own pace.”
“Could be,” she argues. “You don’t know what in the world he has planned for you two. If anyone deserves some happiness, it’s you and Rem.”
“Doesn’t mean it’s going to be a Hallmark movie.” I laugh as I grab a pepper, cutting it for myself since Addie doesn’t like them.
“Doesn’t mean it won’t be either. Are you nervous?” she asks, putting the packet of taco seasoning into the meat she just browned.
I’ve wondered that about myself since I left the note for Remy. I’m not exactly nervous, per se, but I’m worried. “I just don’t know if it’ll last,” I admit. “I mean, statistically how many women stay with their first crush?”
“Who gives a shit about statistics, Tate? You dropped out of college before you even got that far.” She gives me a grin.
“So did you.”
We both sigh, because neither one of us know what the hell we want to do with our lives. “What are we going to do with ourselves?” she asks. “What are we going to be?”
“I don’t know, Addie, I just don’t know. We have this conversation every night when you get home from working with your mom and I get home from working for Cash. Maybe we’re not supposed to know yet, ya know? We’re still young.”
She takes the meat off the stove, and the two of us take all of our stuff over to the table, setting it. One thing we both learned in our households was you sat at the table for dinner with your family – no matter who your family is. Right now, she’s my family.
“I know, our family just seems to have it so together.” She sighs.
“And they’re older than us. I think we’re fine, trying to figure out what the hell it is we both want.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
We’re about to sit down when there’s a knock at our door. “I’ll grab the door, you grab the drinks.” I walk over to our steel-fortified door – thanks to the guys in the club – and turn on the camera that points into the hallway of our apartment building. When I see the person standing there, my heart does a flip.
“It’s Remy!” I whisper-shout to her, as I turn around, plastering myself to the door.
“He’s here?” she whisper-shout’s back to me. “What’s he doing here?”
“I have no idea.” I’m stuck studying him as he stands outside, waiting for me to decide if I’m going to let him in or not. He must not be on his bike because he’s wearing a winter coat with a pair of sweatpants. He looks just like he came back from working out.
“Well earlier you were bitching that he hadn’t at least texted you. Open it up and see what he wants.” She motions to the door.
I look like shit, and I’m well aware of it. My hair’s up, I have on a huge pair of sweatpants, and an old shirt of Drew’s that’s so big you can’t even tell I have tits. Sighing, I swing the door open, just as he’s lifting his knuckles to knock on it again.
“Hey,” he says with a smile, jerking his head to the parking lot. “I saw both yours and Addie’s cars here, so I figured it’d be okay if I stopped by. I just wanted to talk to you for a minute.”
“Yeah, we’re about to eat dinner.” I open the door, letting him in.
“This’ll only take a few minutes.” He closes the door behind him, and I realize how big he’s gotten, how much he’s grown over the last year. His size takes up a large portion of our living room. “I talked to your dad and asked for his blessing to date you. I don’t want to sneak around, I don’t want to be shady about this. If we do it, I want it to be in the open, and I plan on letting people know we’re together when we make that decision.”
I’m speechless, because I didn’t expect this from him, not even a little bit.
“So anyway.” He fills the awkward silence in between us. “That’s all I wanted to say. I’ll let you two get back to your dinner.”
Impulsively I throw out, “You wanna stay? We have enough for a third person.”
“Wouldn’t that be moving too fast?” His smirk hits me in the gut, and I have to fist my hands at my side not to grab for his jacket and hold him close.
“Not when you’re going home right after. C’mon, Rem, have dinner with us. What? You scared of two girls?”
“Would you think less of me if I said yes?”
Addie brings some drinks to the table right then and laughs as she hears our words. Turning with a hand on her hip, she gives him a little attitude. “Nope, I’d say you’re smart.”
He takes off his jacket. “Smells good, and I am hungry.”
“Then join us. We don’t bite, promise.”
He mumbles something that sounds like I don’t believe you as he walks over to our table. Later on, when I look back at our relationship, I know I’ll mark this as a turning point. A very good one.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Tatum
Sitting at my kitchen table with Remy is a dream I’ve had for longer than I care to admit, but one I never dared tell anyone. Fear kept me from it. That it would never happen, that they would call me naïve or a little girl.
“Here ya go, Remy.” Addie hands him a plate and a fork. “There’s plenty, so make yourself at home.”
Curiously, I watch him, interested in how he will react to the situation. “What do you want to drink?” I ask as I grab a can of Coke from what Addie’s put on the table.
“Water is fine,” he answers as he has a seat. “The two of you have dinner together a lot?”
“In our family, we sit down at dinner together every night, doesn’t matter if the whole family is there or not,” I explain, pouring salsa over my salad.
“Same with me,” Addie answers. “So when we moved in together, we decided to continue the tradition.”
“What about you?”
These are the kind of questions he and I never got around to asking one another. Even though we considered ourselves best friends, we never got a chance to get to the locked-up emotions. While I have the option to question him, I’m going to do it.
“Until Harper moved in with me and Cash, I’d never sat at a kitchen table for anything. Not breakfast, lunch, dinner, or a snack. It was a requirement of hers, unspoken, but still a requirement. Anytime we could sit together we did, which changed as I got older and they got busier.
“Harper can bust some balls, can’t she?” I laugh, mentally grabbing onto the snippet of information he gave about him as a kid.
“She had to with me and Cash. I was an angry, sick kid, who needed someone to love me and put up with my bratty ways.”
I take a bite of my salad and give him a glare. “So someone called you a brat too, huh?”
He grins over at me, and I swear it’s the sexiest grin I’ve ever seen. He’s got a five o’clock shadow, dark patches of skin under his eyes, and his hair is laying haphazardly on his head. Almost as if he’s spent a lot of time running his fingers through it. “It was as deserved with me as it was with you, Tate.”
Addie chokes on her drink across from us. “I can’t believe you called her a brat. Appropriate in some situations, but Rem, if you’re trying to impress a girl, calling her a brat won’t work.”
He takes a bite of the food in front of him. “I was trying to push her away, and what do you know? It worked.”
As his gaze flits over to mine, I hurriedly take a bite of the food in front of me. I desperately want to have a conversation with him about why he pushed me away, but I know this isn’t the time. “You’re here now.” I tilt my can of Coke so I can take a drink. “The past is the past, and we can’t live there forever. The present is what matters.”
I realize how true those words are as I speak them. A part of me didn’t realize how much I missed Remy from my life until he cornered me outside B’s birthday party, and while it’s only been a couple of days since then, another part of me realizes I was ready for it. Which is why I’m open to him being at my dinner table, in
my apartment, and talking freely for the first time in a long time.
When we’re done, he flips his phone over. “I better get going. I have to work at the shop and Wet Wanda’s tomorrow. Sleep will be something I’m not getting later on.”
I hate hearing he’s working at Wet Wanda’s; it sends a flash of unease through my stomach. “I’ll walk you out.” I wait patiently for him to grab his jacket, tell Addie thank you for dinner, and then we step out into the hallway.
“I wish I had one of those starters on my truck, so I could start it in here where it’s warm.” He pushes his hands into his jacket pockets as we make our way down the hallway.
I eye the sweatpants he’s wearing. “I can see why.”
He laughs, and it’s carefree, throwing his head back. “Yeah, I went to the actual gym tonight, not the one at the club. I played some ball.”
“Are you good at that?” I know he plays pickup basketball whenever he can. I’ve heard other people talk about it, but I’ve never really listened.
He shrugs. “I’m decent. I’m not overly tall or anything.”
I glance up at him, where he stands a head higher than me. “You’re taller than me.”
“I’d feel weird if you were taller than me,” he admits, his cheeks turning red. “It took me forever to have a damn growth spurt. Wasn’t until my senior year of high school.”
In the depths of my memories, I can remember Remy there when I was a kid, but I can’t specifically remember anything before I turned about fifteen or sixteen. In the periphery of my recollections, there are moments when I realize he was around, but they’re so clouded with years, they aren’t clear. “Must have been weird for you, hanging around the guys you hang around, being short.”
“Back then I was a lot quieter, Tatum, and even more unsure of myself than I am now.”
We’ve made it down to the hallway leading out to the parking lot. We’re about to leave the warmth of the building when he stops me with a hand on my waist. Tilting my head, I question, softly. “What?”
As someone passes by us, he crowds me into the wall so the person can get by. One hand is at my waist, the other braces itself against the wall, holding his weight away from me as much as possible. Neither one of us talks for long moments, but our increased breaths say everything. His voice is deep when he speaks again.
“It’s cold out there, and you don’t have a jacket. We’ll say goodbye here.”
I curl my fingers into the material of the jacket he wears over his body. “You sure? I don’t mind. I won’t be cold for long.”
His hand comes off the wall, curling around my neck. I close my eyes, welcoming the touch. Maybe I am a naïve girl, readily accepting what he’s willing to give me, but this man has owned my heart for a long time. All I’ve wanted is him to show some interest in me, see me as more than a little kid.
“No, I don’t want you to get sick or anything.” He leans down, his dark eyes searching mine.
I lift my eyebrows, questioning the look. Wondering what the intense exploration means.
“When I talked to your dad earlier, he said he hoped I could deal with you.” A small smile plays along the corners of his mouth as they tilt.
“Can you?” I dig my fingers tighter into his jacket. “Deal with me?”
“I think so.” He pushes closer to me, pinning me tighter against the wall and shoves his thigh in between mine. “We have a lot to learn about each other, and we have mistakes to correct. I think if we’re patient with each other, we’ll be able to make this work.”
Patience isn’t my strong suit, and I think we all know it, but if I want to prove to everyone around me I’ve grown up, I have to see this through. “I’ll be as patient as I can be.”
He chuckles as he leans in, giving me a chaste kiss on the lips. “I know it’ll be hard for you, Tate, but we can’t sabotage ourselves again. This loneliness and pain.” He stops. “I can’t take it anymore, can’t put myself through it again if I can help it.”
“I know.” I lean my forehead against his chest, breathing in the scent that is him. It’s slightly musky, sweaty, and all man. This is another one of those moments I know I’ll remember forever.
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to see you tomorrow, I’m scheduled to work in two different places,” he says, his tone is apologetic.
I wrinkle my nose up at him. “Adulting sucks.”
His laugh is unexpected. “It sure does, but bills have to be paid, and if I wanna wear my cut and patch, I have to pull my weight.” He lets me go, kissing me on the forehead.
“Drive safe,” I whisper as he goes through the door, walking toward his truck.
Holding my arms across my chest to ward off the cooler air, I watch until he gets in, starts it, and backs out of the parking spot. Standing there, I don’t move until I can no longer see his taillights.
And the next day, when I go into work, I’m not surprised to see a note waiting for me with his distinct handwriting on it.
Dinner at a table
Reminded me of a fable
Gave me a memory
Let me show you some scenery
We might get frostbite
But come for a ride on my bike
At seven p.m. in two days’ time
Might you let me make you mine?
Riding with Remy on his bike? The one thing I’ve always wanted to do, but have only gotten the chance to do once. Growing up the way I did, I know exactly what the sentiment means. No patched brother asks a woman on the back of his bike without knowing how it’ll appear to everyone else. If what he said about talking to my dad is true and we do have his blessing, this means Remy is claiming me in front of the club. I’m not even trying to downplay the way this gives me a thrill in my stomach. These are the things he didn’t want to do before, things we never got around to.
Gestures he thought I was too young for.
Now I’m not too young, and he doesn’t appear to be scared. More than anything I want on the back of his bike, my arms wrapped around his waist, and my head buried in his shoulder. I’ve watched every woman in my life do that with the man they love.
This is huge, and my hands shake as I dial my sister’s number, asking if I can meet her for lunch. It’s time to break my silence, and the one person I know I can break it to is my older sister, Mandy.
*
“I hope it’s okay I ordered us delivery.” Mandy apologizes as she opens the door to the law office that belongs to our sister-in-law Charity. “It’s cold, looks like it could snow, and I figure if we’re going to have this conversation, you don’t want to have it out in the open where anyone can hear.”
She’s smart. “Is Charity here?”
“She’ll be back in a few minutes, but she told me to text her if you didn’t want her to interrupt and she’d go have lunch somewhere else. I ordered for her just in case, but this is about you, little sis. You tell me what you want.”
I’ve always felt comfortable with Drew’s wife, and truth be told, I could use more than one opinion. “I’m good if she’s involved. We can wait for her if you want to.”
“Awesome, she should be out of court in a few minutes anyway. Want to help me carry this stuff to the conference room?”
Almost two years ago, Charity bought the office next door when it went up for sale and expanded her practice. She added on another lawyer and they have an intern, so they definitely needed the space. Today though, no one except for us is here. “You want me to set this up?” I ask as Mandy’s desk phone rings.
“If you don’t mind. I’ll grab this call and then turn it over to voicemail while we have a little chat session.”
While I’m setting up the food she ordered from a downtown eatery, my mouth watering at the smell of the baked potato soup and the rolls that come with them, Charity makes an appearance, giving me a tired smile.
“Hey.” She comes over, giving me a hug. “Thanks for letting me crash your party.”
My brother must b
e keeping her up late at night, there’s dark circles under her eyes and the smile doesn’t quite reach as far as it normally does. “Looks like you need a real, actual party. Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” she says as pushes her hair back from her face. “The girls are going through this phase where they don’t want to sleep in their own beds right now. You try sleeping with a foot in the rib and a knee in the neck. Halfway through the night, Drew gives up and takes the couch. We’re both tired, cranky, and ready to have our own bed back, but neither one of us knows what to do.”
“Parent problems.” I give her a smile. “But you know you wouldn’t trade it for anything.”
“Oh, but I would,” she says with a saucy grin, “for a good night’s sleep and an hour of alone time uninterrupted with my husband. I just might be tempted.”
I’m about to answer her when Mandy comes sweeping in. “Okay, the front door is locked, the phones are switched to voicemail, and my cell is on do not disturb except for Dad and Dalton. I’m all ears, baby sister; tell me what the hell is going on.”
“Hang on!” Charity grabs her cell out of her purse and hits a few buttons. “Now I’m ready, nothing is interrupting this. I’ve wanted to know what’s been going on with you since last year.”
We all have a seat, getting our plates ready. I’m at a loss for where to start, so I dive right in.
“Last year at the Christmas party, Remy and I got each other off on the couch out in the garage. After that, he pushed me away, and I lost my virginity to a douchebag at a college party after New Year’s. Addie called Remy to come get me. On the way home we had the mother of all arguments. We refused to speak to each other for a year, and now he wants me to go for a bike ride with him tomorrow.” I pause to take a drink from the Coke bottle that was delivered with our food. “That should catch you right up.”
Both women are looking at me with their mouths hanging open.
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