Thirty-Three and a Half Shenanigans

by Denise Grover Swank

I waved my hand toward Bruce Wayne’s desk. “But they don’t work too well without electricity.”

  Neely Kate scowled. “I warned you about Old Man Darby.”

  “Well, if he doesn’t send an electrician to fix it by tomorrow afternoon, Mason’s gonna give him a call. I need electricity by then to get the phone and Wi-Fi installed.”

  “What’s the hurry? You’re not even opening for another month.”

  “You know I’m not one to sit around doin’ nothing. And Bruce Wayne says if he’s getting paid, he might as well be working.” I shrugged. “So here we are.”

  I sat in one the chairs by the window, and she sat in the brown chair beside me, tucking her feet underneath her. “You’re sure making it nice. How much time are you planning on spending in here?”

  “I dunno yet. Since we don’t have any jobs to work on right now, I splurged and got us professional landscaping software. Bruce Wayne and I can spend our time learning how to use it.” I shifted in my chair, getting antsy. “So, are you gonna tell me who you saw at the doctor’s office or not?”

  Her eyes lit up. “Lucky for you, I don’t hold a grudge.”

  I could have argued that point, but wisely held my tongue.

  “Hilary.”

  “Joe’s Hilary?”

  “Do we know any other?” she asked, incredulous.

  “What was she doing there? She has a doctor in Little Rock. In fact, what’s she doin’ in Henryetta period?”

  “She’s moved here.”

  I bolted upright like someone had held a lit candle to my butt. “What?”

  “I heard she rented one of those restored older homes off the square.”

  “Why?”

  She scrunched her nose. “You know why. She needs to be close to Joe to get him back. Have you talked to him?”

  I shook my head. “Not since we had the argument over him going behind my back and hiring a company to clean up the nursery after it was vandalized.” It had been more than a week, now that I stopped to think about it.

  “Are you still planning to make him an official partner?”

  Joe had bailed out the nursery after my sister Violet overextended us financially. She’d missed multiple loan payments, putting us in danger of a foreclosure. It didn’t help that a bunch of cash had been stolen from me in the lobby of the Henryetta Bank before I could make a deposit. In any case, we’d been in trouble up to our eyeballs. Violet had gone behind my back to ask Joe—whose family was probably rich enough to own half the state of Arkansas—to loan us the missing payments. Instead, he’d paid off the entire loan. All one hundred thirty-six thousand dollars of it. Everyone kept reminding me that I hadn’t entered into any type of legal agreement with him, which meant essentially his money was a gift. But what he really wanted was to be a partner. He’d put so much work into the nursery since the very beginning, I couldn’t help but think that getting me back wasn’t his only motivation.

  “Yes.”

  Neely Kate groaned, then leaned her head back on the seat. “Rose.”

  The disappointment in her voice hurt more than I cared to admit. “Mason’s fine with it,” I said. “Why can’t you be?”

  She gripped the arms of the chair and leaned forward. “If you think Mason is fine with this, then you’re even more deluded than I thought you were.” She stood, putting her hands on her hips. “Mason’s toleratin’ it because he loves you and doesn’t want to make waves.” She pointed her finger in my face. “You better think long and hard before you give that man any legal rights to the business, Rose Gardner. You can’t go undoin’ it once it’s done. You’ll be stuck with him indefinitely.”

  I paused. “I know.”

  She shook her head once for emphasis, then gave me a soft smile. “You have a good heart, Rose. But sooner or later, it’s gonna bite you in the behind.”

  I grinned. “Then let’s hope it bites me later.”

  My cell phone started ringing, so I hopped out of my chair to retrieve it off the desk, nearly passing out when I saw the caller’s name on the screen.

  Skeeter Malcolm.

  Chapter Two

  Neely Kate stood and took several steps toward me. “Rose, you look as pale as a ghost. Who is it?” She grabbed the phone out of my hand and glanced at the screen. “SM.” She gave me an ornery grin. “I didn’t know you and Mason were into that. Is he trying to give you some secret code?”

  I stared at her for a second until I realized what she was saying. “What? No! It stands for Skeeter Malcolm!”

  “What’s with the initials?”

  “I can’t very well have the new king of the Fenton County crime world’s name on my phone, now can I? Not with an Assistant DA for a boyfriend and a chief deputy sheriff ex.”

  “Are you gonna answer it?”

  I looked at the still-ringing phone. “I’m thinking. . .”

  Bruce Wayne emerged from the tiny back room. “Darby promises to have someone here first thing tomorrow morning, but I wouldn’t hold my breath.” He took one look at the two of us staring at my ringing cell phone and stopped in his tracks. Fear crawled into his eyes. “It’s him, isn’t it?”

  “What should I do, Bruce Wayne?”

  He took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders, shrugging off his fear as he moved forward a few steps. “Don’t answer it. I’ll call his brother Scooter to see if I can find out what he wants.”

  I nodded, my heart racing. “Okay.” Whatever Skeeter wanted couldn’t be good. He was never going to leave me alone now that I’d used my visions to save his life . . . even though I’d spent the past couple of weeks pretending otherwise.

  The phone stopped ringing, but the three of us continued to stare at it, as if we expected it to sprout legs and attack us.

  “Don’t you be gettin’ mixed up with him again,” Neely Kate finally said. “You got off lucky last time. The next time . . .” She didn’t finish her sentence. She didn’t need to. There were a whole host of scenarios that could play out, not a single one of them good.

  After Daniel Crocker, the previous crime lord, had died—at my own hands—his business had been put up for auction by his second-in-command. Before Crocker’s death, Skeeter had been the second most powerful criminal in the county, but he didn’t like playing second fiddle to anyone. So it wasn’t hard to figure out that he wanted Crocker’s business something fierce, which is why I’d gone to him with information about the guys who’d been robbing businesses around town—my bank deposit included—to collect money in an effort to outbid him. I’d hoped we would part ways permanently after he returned my money to me. I’d been naïve. Not that Bruce Wayne hadn’t warned me.

  “Don’t worry, Rose,” Bruce Wayne said. “We’ll figure something out. You’re not alone in this.”

  Neely Kate grabbed my hand and squeezed. “I’m sorry I was so hard on you. But Skeeter Malcolm is bad news.”

  “I know. I’m trying to get out of it.”

  Neely Kate’s newest ringtone—“Wildflower” by The JaneDear Girls—broke the silence. She dug into her rhinestone-covered purse and pulled out her phone. “Huh. It’s my aunt. She never calls.” She answered the phone. “Hey, Aunt Thelma.”

  Bruce Wayne grabbed his coat off the back of his chair. “Rose, I’m gonna run by the hardware store to get more hangers so we can put up the other two pictures.”

  “Good idea. Thanks, Bruce Wayne.”

  I caught part of Neely Kate’s conversation as he went out the door.

  “Nope, I haven’t seen her,” she said. “Did you check with Billy Jack? Last I heard, she was kinda living with him . . . What about her work?” She frowned. “Huh. Okay, let me know if you hear anything.”

  She stuffed her phone into her coat pocket and plopped down in my office chair. I grabbed Bruce Wayne’s and rolled it next to her.

  “Everything okay?” I asked, sitting down.

  “My aunt’s worried because she hasn’t talked to my cousin in a couple of days.” Her teeth tugg
ed on her lower lip. “Dolly usually checks in with her momma every day, but she’s been known to disappear for a day or two when she hooks up with a new guy. Still, this is a long time, even for her.”

  I sucked in a breath. “Do you think something happened to her?”

  Neely Kate shook her head. “Naw. She’s probably okay. Aunt Thelma’s branch of the family tree is a bit shaky.” Her mouth tipped up into a grin. “My aunt married a mucker.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “He mucks out pig pens. It’s dirty, stinky work.”

  “And that makes her family tree branch shaky?”

  “Heck no. There’s no shame in being a mucker, but it’s all he talks about. He’s a few cans shy of a six pack.”

  “Oh.”

  “Anyway.” She flipped her long blond hair over her shoulder. “Aunt Thelma married Melvin the Mucker—”

  I held up my hands. “Wait. That’s what you call him?”

  Neely Kate gave me a blank stare. “Well . . . yeah.”

  “Okay, go on.”

  “And they had three kids—Alan Jackson, Dolly Parton, and Tommy Lee.”

  My mouth dropped. “Oh, no.”

  Her grin spread across her face. “Oh, yes.”

  “Why didn’t I meet them at your wedding?”

  She hesitated. “They couldn’t go. Uncle Melvin had a family reunion in Louisiana they had to attend. Dolly was supposed to be a bridesmaid, but her grandma on her dad’s side threatened to disown her if she didn’t show up for the forty-sixth annual Muston Family Fish Fry. Her granny’s half-owner of a shrimp boat, so you can see Dolly’s dilemma.”

  I didn’t see the dilemma, but I wasn’t about to ask. Instead, I shook my head, still stuck on their names. “I get the country singers, but Tommy Lee . . . ?”

  She shrugged. “Granny says Aunt Thelma went through a rebellious hard rock stage.” She lowered her voice and leaned forward. “We don’t like to talk about it.”

  “Okay . . .” I wanted to point out that his name made it pretty hard to keep something like that under wraps, but I let it drop.

  “And would you know, Tommy Lee is this meek little thing in his late teens, and Alan Jackson is in his mid-twenties and hell on wheels.”

  “And Dolly Parton?”

  “She’s the middle child and a blend of both of the boys. A little wild sometimes, but she always runs home. Still, Aunt Thelma’s worried.”

  “What’s she gonna do?”

  “She’s gonna wait a day or so for her to turn up before doin’ anything.”

  I shook my head. I had enough troubles of my own. I didn’t need to get mixed up in someone else’s. “Say, you don’t happen to know a bookkeeper, do you? Violet kept the books, and I don’t have the time to do ’em myself even if I did understand them.”

  “My Aunt Wilma would have been great, but she’s in prison now, so she can’t be of any help.”

  “You’d recommend your imprisoned aunt? Seriously?”

  Her forehead wrinkled in confusion. “Why not? She was the best bookkeeper in northern Fenton County, although her reign at best was short-lived.” Her eyes lit up. “Oh! You think she embezzled money or something.”

  I gave her a sheepish half-shrug. “It crossed my mind.”

  Neely Kate shook her head. “Aunt Wilma might be a lot of things, but she ain’t no thief.”

  “Then what’s she in prison for?”

  “There was an . . . unfortunate incident involving the first best bookkeeper. Which is how she took the crown for a time.”

  I was afraid to ask how she’d advanced her position, let alone who was responsible for ranking the county’s bookkeepers. Some things about Neely Kate’s family were best left to the unknown.

  “Yeah, it was a real shame when she got locked up. Totally changed my career path.”

  That caught my attention. “How so?”

  “I was studying accounting at the community college in Magnolia so I could go into business with Aunt Wilma. I was already working for her around my class schedule.” She sighed. “I needed a job when she got locked up.” Her lips pursed. “And that’s the sad story of how I ended up working in the Fenton County Personal Property Tax department.”

  “You know bookkeeping?” I asked in surprise.

  “Yeah. I was one semester shy of graduating with my associate’s degree. I’m a bit rusty, but I do most of my family’s taxes.”

  “Perfect! Do you think you can look at my accounting? Well, I mean the nursery’s.”

  “Is it on QuickBooks?”

  “No. Violet gave me a ledger.” I slid my chair over to a file cabinet and opened a drawer, pulling out the blue book.

  After I handed it to Neely Kate, she opened the cover and scanned a couple of pages before closing her eyes and groaning. “No wonder your money was a cotton-picking mess.” She sat up, pinning me with her gaze. “Not to mention that using a ledger rather than a spreadsheet would make it about ten times easier for your sister to skim money out of the company.”

  “So, can you look at it for me?”

  Neely Kate scowled.

  “Please? Just help me out until I find someone else since your Aunt Thelma’s incarcerated.” I paused. “Say, when’s she gettin’ out?”

  She turned a few more pages. “From the looks of this mess, it won’t be nearly soon enough.”

  “But you’ll do it? I’ll do anything you want.”

  “Anything?” she asked with an evil gleam.

  Any other person would take advantage of my offer, but Neely Kate wasn’t like most people. I wasn’t worried.

  “You have to go to bingo night with me and my grandma next week.”

  Neely Kate had been trying to coerce me to go for ages. “Fine. But I’m not putting out any lucky charms.” According to Neely Kate, her grandmother brought so many tiny stuffed animals and knick-knacks for good luck, it took her ten minutes to set them up around her bingo cards.

  She shook her head. “No can do. Granny’ll have a conniption. You know how superstitious she is.”

  “Fine,” I groaned. “Deal.”

  Neely Kate closed the cover. “No promises. I might not be throwing up as much anymore, but I’m still fast asleep by nine o’clock most nights. I’ll try to sneak a look while I’m at work tomorrow.”

  “Well, don’t get into any trouble over it.”

  My friend groaned as she stood. “Speaking of trouble, I need to get back. I’ve got a new manager, and she watches me closer than an aardvark studies an ant hill.”

  I got to my feet and followed her to the door. “But I thought you were the boss now?”

  “I am—of my department. But there’s a new supervisor in charge of all the departments, and she’s got it out for me.”

  “You?” Everybody loved Neely Kate. “Why?”

  An ornery grin lit up her face. “She didn’t appreciate my assessment of her friendliness.”

  I gave her a blank stare.

  “I might have mentioned she’d get along better with the courthouse employees if she took the hickory stick out of her behind.”

  “You didn’t!”

  “Well . . . not to her face. She overheard me telling someone in probate. And she’s been gunning to get me fired ever since.”

  “Oh no! Don’t you need the insurance for the baby?”

  “No, thank goodness. I went on Ronnie’s insurance. After all the county budget cuts, his is better than mine. Can you believe that? Besides, I’m hoping to quit when Ronnie Junior is born, so it wouldn’t be the end of the world. But I still need my income to buy all the baby things.”

  “Then I guess you better get back to work, huh?”

  “Yeah,” she sighed as she got up, tucking the ledger in her purse. “I don’t want a confrontation with Stella the Hun.”

  I hopped up and gave her a hug. “Hang in there. Just think, if you’re due on July 1st, you have less than seven months left.”

  She made a face. “Seven months? That�
�s supposed to make me feel better?” She shook her head, but she couldn’t shake the grin off her face. “Bye, Rose.”

  “See you later.”

  I watched her walk out the door as my phone dinged with a text. My stomach tightened when I glanced at the message from SM.

  We need to talk.

  Not if I could help it.

  Chapter Three

  I was worried Skeeter might come looking for me, so I left a note for Bruce Wayne, telling him I was leaving for the day. I loaded Muffy into the truck and drove to the nursery, pulling into the parking lot with the intent to check in on the progress of the cleanup and reconstruction of the store. I sure wasn’t expecting to find Violet’s car in the parking lot. There wasn’t much to do in the store until the construction guys finished their patch-up work, and they weren’t scheduled to come in until later in the week.

  She was sitting outside on a stool next to the live Christmas trees the nursery was selling, bundled up in the tan wool coat I’d given her for Christmas two years ago. The teen boy she’d hired to man the lot was nowhere to be found.

  I got out of my truck, Muffy tagging along behind me, and walked toward her. I wondered which Violet I would face today. For the past three weeks I’d only seen my repentant sister, but I couldn’t help expecting the bossy version to resurface at any time.

  “Vi, what are you doing out here in the cold?” I asked.

  She hopped off the stool when she saw me. Her collar was turned up to partially cover her ears, and her hands were stuffed in her pockets. “Rose, I thought you were working on your new office.”

  “I took a break to check on the store. And you didn’t answer my question. Why are you outside?”

  “The kid I hired to sell the trees had to take the afternoon off. And since the store’s still closed, customers won’t realize the trees are for sale if we don’t have someone outside. You and I both know we need the money.”

  “We don’t need it bad enough for you to get pneumonia.” I grabbed her arm and tugged. “Let’s go inside, and you can show me around.”

  Violet resisted. “You can take a look on your own. There’s not much to see.”