Thirty-Three and a Half Shenanigans

by Denise Grover Swank

  The bouncer shook his head. “With your ear pressed against the door?”

  I shrugged. “I tripped.” I hoped I was convincing, but I was pretty sure it was gonna take a miracle to save me.

  “What are you really doin’ here?” Mick asked.

  Mason shifted in his seat.

  “I’m looking for Dolly Parton Parker.”

  “Who?”

  “Sapphire.”

  He shrugged. “She’s not here.”

  “Yeah, I figured that out.” I took a step backward. “So I guess I’ll be goin’ then.”

  Mick shook his head. “No. You’ll stay.”

  I couldn’t panic. Mason and I weren’t necessarily doomed. I’d called Joe, so he might show up to save us, but he had no idea that I was in trouble or even where I was. My best hope was Jed. Skeeter said he’d send him after fifteen minutes, but now I worried about Jed taking on all of the men in the club. But then again, Skeeter wasn’t stupid and neither was Jed. Now that they knew Rich Lowry was present, I suspected they’d come prepared.

  “What do you want to do?” Lowry asked.

  “Take them both out back and deal with it.”

  I grimaced. “Look, I’m sorry for the misunderstanding—” I pointed my thumb to the now closed door “but Kip really needs me out front.”

  “Sorry, Daisy.” Mick chuckled. “Your position is about to be terminated.”

  The full impact of his words sunk in. Mason pushed his chair back and stood, his back tense. Anger burned in his eyes as he looked from the other men to me, but Mud pulled out a gun and aimed it at him.

  “Have a seat, Deveraux.”

  “Wait,” I said, lifting my hands in surrender. “I can help you! Just don’t shoot him.”

  Mick laughed. “How can you possibly help me?”

  “Aren’t you trying to get even with Skeeter and take his place? Isn’t that what all of this is about?”

  Mick’s eyebrows lifted in surprise, but I had Mason’s attention as well.

  Mick leaned his elbow on the table. “Why would you think that?”

  “I know things. Tell Mud to put his gun away, and I’ll tell them to you.”

  Mick studied me for several seconds. “Deveraux, have a seat. Mud.” He flicked his hand toward his manager, his eyes still on me. “Now go on.”

  Both of the other men followed his orders, neither of them looking happy about it.

  I couldn’t sell Skeeter out. I wouldn’t sell Skeeter out. So what was I going to tell Mick? “Skeeter knows what you’re up to, and he’s not happy.”

  Mick laughed. “Since when does Skeeter confide in a woman?”

  “I’ve heard things.”

  “What else have you heard?”

  “Skeeter’s planning to promote Bear Stevens.” Telling him so was both a lie and a risk. But it was also an opportunity to see if Mick had been behind the attempts on Mason’s life.

  Mick’s shoulders straightened. “Bear?” He grinned. “You don’t say?”

  “Bear’s helping you, right?”

  “And what makes you say that?”

  “He’s part of the plan to kill Mason, isn’t he?”

  Mick scooted forward in his seat and leaned his elbows on the table. “And how did little Daisy Miller get to be on a first-name basis with the Assistant District Attorney?”

  Oh, crap. How was I going to explain that? “Every single girl in Fenton County knows about Mason Deveraux III.”

  “And how did you know someone tried to kill him? It wasn’t in the news.”

  Oh crap. How was I going to explain that one? But wasn’t the fact that Mick knew about it proof of his involvement?

  “She’s a badge bunny,” Mason said.

  My eyes flew wide open as I spun to face him.

  He looked up at me with a convincing mixture of disgust and pity. “She hangs around the courthouse and the sheriff station. I knew she looked familiar, but now I realize where I’ve seen her. Hanging around outside my office. She must have overheard one of my conversations.”

  I put my hands on my hips and shot him a hateful glare. “That’s an ugly way to put it, Mason Deveraux. I can’t help it if you love me and just don’t know it yet. If you’d just eaten that lemon pound cake with a lock of my hair baked into it, my love spell would have worked fine. You know, the cake I left on your office desk after you’d gone home that night? Did you find it?”

  To me, Mason’s non-response looked like an actor in a play who’d forgotten his lines. But I was fairly sure Mick would read it differently—interpreting his gape-eyed expression as horror.

  I narrowed my eyes, deciding to up the ante. “And I smelled your office chair.”

  Mick shook his head as though he was trying to clear it. “What?”

  Mason lifted his eyebrow. “You are batshit crazy if you think I’m ever gonna fall for you.”

  “You would,” I said. “All you need to do is eat my lemon pound cake!”

  “What is going on here?” Mick shouted. “Can we focus?”

  “I am!” I insisted. “I don’t think I could be any more focused on Mason Van de Camp Deveraux III if I tried.” I gave Mason an exaggerated look of longing.

  “Hey!” Lowry grunted. “What about me?”

  I gave him a sympathetic look. “Don’t worry, darlin’. Since Mr. Deveraux hasn’t come to his senses yet, you can fill in until he does. What do you think about wearing a tie and shouting out legal terms while we’re in the throes of passion?”

  Lowry’s eyes widened in shock.

  “Enough!” Mick slammed his hand on the table, and I jumped. “Are you telling me that you don’t really know anything useful?”

  And here we were again. Where was Jed? “I know that Mr. Deveraux puts his shoes on left then right.”

  “What a creeper,” Lowry muttered under his breath.

  “Damn, Lowry.” Mud shook his head. “You dodged a bullet with that nutcase.”

  “Who cares?” Mick growled. “Why would something like that matter at all, let alone in the situation at hand?”

  “I’ll tell you why!” I shrieked. “Puttin’ on your shoes like that is backwards. Everyone else puts their shoes on right, then left.” He gave me a confused stare. “It means I have to switch up the lemon pound cake love spell if I’m gonna make it work.”

  “Okay, Nutso Baker,” Mick said with a cringe. “I’m gonna grant your wish. You’re gonna get to spend plenty of quality time with the ADA. How does eternity sound?” He nodded to the bouncer. “Take them both to the shed and then take care of them.”

  “Wait!” I said. “Was I right? Were you the one trying to kill Mason?”

  “So now you’re Veronica Mars, trying to solve a case?”

  “No,” I snorted. “I just want to know if I was right. I have this thing about bein’ right.”

  He rolled his eyes. “No, I had no reason to kill him. Not until tonight. It wasn’t me.” He flicked his hand.

  The bouncer took a step forward and grabbed my arm again, his fingers twisting my skin. When I gasped, Mason jumped to his feet, his hands clenched into fists.

  Mick laughed. “Settle down, Deveraux.”

  “Don’t hurt her. She’s obviously not part of this. Just let her go.”

  “No can do.” Mick’s voice lowered to a growl, and he nodded to the bouncer. “Take care of it. Lowry, you help them.”

  Lowry stood and strode over to me. “I want her.”

  “You can’t have her, you idiot,” Mick grunted. “She’s a risk, and she’s crazy town. Just take care of her.”

  Lowry jerked me free from the bouncer. “Then I’m at least going to take her out back first.”

  “I really don’t want to go out back,” I said, looking up at Lowry. “It’s cold out there, and I’m not wearing a coat.”

  He leered at me. “You won’t have to worry about bein’ cold.”

  I cringed. Disgusting.

  Mason had finally been pushed over the line. He
lunged for Lowry, pulling him away from me. But Lowry and the bulky bouncer soon wrestled Mason into control.

  “Deveraux,” Mick said as though deep in thought. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d guess that you actually care about Psycho Bitch here.”

  Mason’s only answer was trying to jerk free from the bouncer’s hold.

  The sound of gunshots outside the door echoed through the room, and everyone froze for a half-second. If I could just get these guys to hold off shooting us, we had a chance at being saved.

  Mick’s eyes hardened. “Mud, go check it out.” He pointed his gun at Mason. “How about you take a seat until we sort this out?”

  Mason lowered himself into a chair, his hard eyes on the gun, but I saw him give a quick glance to my arm where Lowry was holding me.

  “I’m takin’ her out back,” Lowry said.

  “The hell you are,” Mick said. “We’re waiting here until we find out what’s goin’ on out there.”

  “We’re business partners, Gentry. Despite what you think, you’re not in charge. If I want to take her out back, I’ll do it.”

  Mason’s eyes shot to mine, and I could tell that he was thinking about doing something desperate to stop Lowry.

  There were more muffled gunshots and yelling. The three men looked toward the door, and Mason took advantage of the distraction to jump out of his chair and grab Mick’s arm. The gun clattered to the floor as Mason swung a punch at Mick’s face. The bouncer jumped Mason and tried to pull him loose from Mick. Despite the bouncer having fifty pounds more muscle, Mason had determination on his side.

  Lowry tugged me out of the way, and I watched in horror as the two men continued to attack Mason, who was holding his own while trying to get to the gun.

  I jerked free of Lowry’s hold with the intention of going after the gun myself, but he snagged my wrist. “Come on.” Lowry opened the door and pulled me into the hallway.

  Panicked, I tried to wrench myself free. Lowry’s action distracted Mason, and the two men gained the advantage. They were about to beat Mason to a bloody pulp. “Mason!” I screamed and his head jerked up.

  Mick took advantage of his distraction and brought the butt of a gun down on the back of Mason’s head. He crumpled to the floor, unconscious.

  “Mason!”

  “Come on.” Lowry dragged me to the back door, and I kicked and clawed, frantic to get free. The sound of fighting was a dull roar in the other room, and wisps of smoke floated under the door to the hall. The club was on fire.

  Lowry got me to the back door, and I broke free for a half-second. I made a bolt toward the room where Mason was being kept, but Lowry snagged an arm around my waist and hauled my back into his chest.

  “You’re coming with me.” He flung the back door open, and it banged into the exterior wall, bouncing back to hit Lowry’s side. I grunted my frustration as I kicked his legs and clawed at his arms. Lowry’s arm dug into my ribs as his hold tightened.

  When the cold air hit my bare legs and arms, the reality of what was about to happen hit me hard. “Let go of me!”

  “Do as the lady says, Lowry.”

  Lowry froze, and I stopped struggling, the man’s voice flooding me with relief.

  Skeeter Malcolm stood several feet away, holding a handgun that was aimed at Lowry and me.

  Lowry hooked his arm around the front of my neck, putting me in a choke-hold. “Since when do you care about a piece of ass, Malcolm?”

  “It’s none of your damn business. Now let her go.”

  Lowry’s hold on my neck tightened, and I fought to take a breath. “No. I don’t think so. Go ahead and shoot her if you’d like.”

  “Hey!” I forced out through my limited air supply.

  Skeeter’s face was unreadable. I told myself to never play poker with him.

  “Why’s she so important to you?” Lowry asked. “She used to work at your club? You meet her at the pool hall?”

  “It doesn’t matter where I met her. All you need to know is that you better get your filthy hands off of her now.”

  “In the ten years I’ve known you, the only other woman you’ve shown any interest in is the Lady in Black,” Lowry gasped, lifting his arm so my toes barely touched the ground. I fought to take a breath, and I was getting light-headed. “This is her, isn’t it? Daisy’s the Lady in Black?”

  If Skeeter was surprised by Lowry’s flight of logic or the fact that he’d called me Daisy, he didn’t let on. He lifted his gun higher so it was eye level with Lowry behind me. “This is your last warning.”

  Lowry put a hand on the side of my head. “I’ll snap her neck, Malcolm. Are you willing to put your precious ‘Lady’ at risk?”

  “She won’t be.” His eyes narrowed, and the blast of his gun deafened my ear. Lowry’s arm dropped, and I sucked in huge lungfuls of air. Lowry began to fall, and Skeeter pulled me to him.

  “You okay?” he asked.

  I started to shake and leaned into Skeeter as I stared at Lowry’s body. He was lying at an awkward angle on the gravel parking lot, hole in his forehead. The realization that he’d almost killed me sank in—between that and the lack of oxygen, I felt close to passing out.

  Skeeter grabbed my face and lifted it so his eyes pierced mine. “Are you okay?” His voice was menacing.

  I nodded, still in shock.

  He shrugged out of his coat and put it around my shoulders, then pulled out his phone. “I’ll call Cal to pick us up.”

  “Wait!” I pulled loose. “Mason’s in there, and he’s unconscious.”

  Skeeter’s face barely registered my comment. “I don’t care.”

  “Skeeter, I’m not leaving him in there.”

  His jaw tensed. “You don’t have a choice. I’m not letting you go back in there period, particularly not now that the building’s burning.”

  “No! Stop! You promised to protect him.”

  “Not in this. I know he was here accepting a bribe. That makes our agreement null and void.”

  “You don’t get to pick and choose what makes our agreement null and void! Since when did you become so high and mighty? Besides, he wasn’t taking a bribe! He was there trying to take Mick Gentry down. Not that any of that matters! We had an agreement.”

  He glared at me. “I said no.” He snatched my arm and started dragging me further from the building.

  “You’re no better than the rest of them in there.”

  “I never claimed I was.” Skeeter’s black sedan pulled around the side of the building and stopped next to us. He reached for the back door and opened it, giving me a little push. “Now get in the car.”

  I turned around and tried to bolt, but he pushed my head down as he shoved me in the car.

  “Skeeter, please!”

  “No.”

  I started to cry. Even if I managed to get away from him, how was I going to get Mason out of the building? “I’ll give you anything you want. I’ll give you six months as the Lady in Black. No questions asked. Please.”

  He stopped shoving me, so I grabbed his arm and clung to it.

  “Why would I save Deveraux’s ass? That man would have me gunned down in a heartbeat.”

  “No, he wouldn’t. He wants what he sees as justice, and that wouldn’t include killing you. If you were in that building, he’d save you.”

  Skeeter snorted. “Not likely.”

  “He would.” But when that didn’t sway him, I said, “Then do it for me.”

  He studied my face, a hard look in his eyes. “Anything I want for six months.”

  “As the Lady in Black.”

  A wicked gleam filled his eyes. “You’re more like me than them, you know.”

  I gasped. “What are you talking about?”

  “You’re right. Deveraux and Simmons each have their own code of ethics, but you and me . . .” He grinned, pulling me closer. “We realize there are a lot more gray areas than black and white.”

  I shook my head. I wasn’t sure I liked what he was
implying.

  “I’ll go find him, but you stay out here. If I catch you in there, I’m going to drag you out, throw you in the back of my car, and leave him to burn.”

  I had no doubt he meant it. “Okay.”

  His eyes searched mine. “Six months, Lady. You give me six months?”

  “Yes.”

  “Where is he?”

  “Go through the back door. He’s in the room directly across.”

  He pulled out his phone and took several steps away from me to make a call, but he spoke so low I couldn’t hear him. When he hung up, he pointed to his car. “Wait there.” Then he strode to the back door and disappeared inside.

  Cal got out of the car and cast a perplexed look in my direction, but otherwise ignored me as I paced back and forth, fighting off tears. A good minute passed, and there wasn’t any sign of either of them as I began to hear sirens in the distance. Thick black smoke poured out of the vents in the roof, and my hysteria started to win out. But seconds later, the back door flung open, and three figures stumbled out. Two of the men were Skeeter and Jed, and they were dragging an unconscious Mason.

  They continued to half-carry him away from the building and dropped him onto a strip of grass. I tumbled to my knees next to him and picked up his wrist, gasping with relief when his pulse thrummed against my fingertips.

  I looked up at both men and forced out through my tears, “Thank you.”

  The sirens were closer, and Skeeter jerked on Jed’s arm. “Let’s go.”

  Jed hesitated, then climbed into the car after Skeeter. As they sped away, Mason started to cough.

  “Mason?”

  He looked up at me and sat up, releasing a groan and holding the side of his head as he pulled me to his chest. “Rose? Thank God.” He lost his breath with a new round of coughing. “I was terrified he’d killed you. Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “What were you doing here?” I heard the anger in his voice, but he held me tight. “Joe told me he was putting you in protective custody.”

  “There was no way I was hanging around with the deputy from hell, so I escaped.” Then I gushed out, “I found your cell phone number in Dolly Parton’s box, and I couldn’t figure out why she would have it, and Neely Kate confessed she heard a rumor that you were accepting a bribe and had a big meeting tonight, and then you said you wanted to take me away tomorrow . . . I thought you might be taking a bribe, Mason, although for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out how you could be involved in such a thing. It didn’t matter, Mason. I couldn’t let you go through with such a thing.” He gave me a blank look, and I worried his new head injury had addled his brain. “I was trying to stop you from taking a bribe. I tried to reach you all day.”