Divided

by Madeline Dyer

  Fingers stroke my throat. The liquid moves over my tongue, and I feel a knee-jerk reaction building up.

  I turn my head, start to swallow, and gag as the liquid burns. I spray it out—as much as I can—coughing, but some trickles down my throat, makes me gag again.

  One of the Enhanced backhands me to the floor, and I cough, on all fours. My eyes water, I see a flash of color and—

  “Get the other one in her!”

  I scramble forward, choking, trying to get away, but the arms of another Enhanced spring around me. My head’s yanked up. Fingers pry at my face. I don’t even see the second vial of Tiredness. The first I’m aware of how close it is, is when I’m swallowing it, when all the muscles in my throat are screaming.

  Almost immediately, my eyelids get heavier, my vision slightly blurry. Exhaustion pulls at my body, and my stomach feels strange—empty, hollow.

  I try to take a deep breath. My eyes follow one of the men as he walks about. He takes a radio out of his belt.

  “Turn it up,” he says. Then he looks at me. “Repeat after me. Being Untamed is bad. It is wrong. It is evil.”

  I shake my head. The air around me starts to feel thick with warmth, warmth that scratches my skin. I look around for the source, but I can’t see anything. It’s…it’s just air…the air’s heating up and growing bristles.

  The men exchange weak smiles.

  “Say the words.”

  Do it.

  “No.”

  My movements get slower, and my head feels…hazy. Everything’s hazy. It’s happening so quickly…too quickly… I claw at my face, rub at my eyes. Blink several times. But they sting, my eyes just sting, and the lids are too heavy.

  “Come on, Shania. Those were the highest grade of augmenters. And it is hot in here. We know you need to sleep now. Acknowledge the badness within you, and we will let you sleep.”

  My head feels like it’s going to explode as I shake it again. How can the augmenters work that quickly? Even if they’re of the highest grade….

  I force myself to stand. Start pacing. The Enhanced stand together now, forming a human wall in front of the door. Blocking me in.

  My muscles burn. My head buzzes. My eyes sting. My throat feels strange. I blink again, feel my eyes watering. I yawn, the movement hurts my jaw…and something else too…what it is, I’m not sure because….

  “No, you can’t sleep, Shania. Not yet.”

  Arms pull at me, and I realize I’m lying down. Confusion fills me. The heat rises, surges over me. My mouth dries. My lips feel like they’re about to crack.

  “You have to acknowledge the badness within you. You have to drive it out before you sleep. Your sleep mustn’t refuel the parasite. Come on, Shania.”

  I’m pulled up, and the light in the cell is too bright. It’s like a knife, tearing at my eyes. I try to put an arm over my eyes, try to shield them, but the Enhanced don’t let me. Pain sprinkles across my head. They yank my arm back, start shouting about how bad the Untamed are, how bad I am—but they can save me if I help them save myself first. If I just take the first step toward it on my own.

  More exhaustion washes over me. The air gets hotter still. I’m sweating, sweating too much. They’re not—must have taken augmenters to prevent them from feeling the heat…but the sweat’s pouring off me… I’m losing water.

  Water.

  My eyes widen.

  Shit.

  Dehydration—but they won’t let it get to a dangerous level, will they?

  My heart pounds, and then my arms feel strange, as if each bone inside them divides into two, three, four, peeling into layers and floating inside me, catching each other with the slightest movement of my body, sending ripples of enervation and pain through me.

  “You can have a drink once you surrender. As soon as you surrender, we will get you water. And you can sleep too.”

  Just agree with what they want! Pretend!

  No….

  I shake myself. I can resist this. I can…can’t I?

  I have to.

  Corin.

  Suddenly, I see him in front of me. His eyes wide and Untamed. Those beautiful dark brown eyes, warm like the evening sun, but strong and penetrating like fire. And he sees me—sees my mirror eyes. He glares at me; his bottom lip pushes out slightly as his eyebrows knit together. The look in his eyes changes: gets sharper.

  “Fight them,” he says, and his words zoom toward me, like darts tailing ribbons, and the colorful threads wrap around me, tighter and tighter, tighter and tighter.

  And my head feels strange. Too…too foggy inside…like I’m slipping….

  “Fight them,” Corin says.

  Still slipping…still and….

  “I will,” I say to him, but then he disappears—his image shimmers, and then he’s gone.

  Gone….

  “Excellent,” one of the Enhanced says. “Repeat after me—”

  “No! Not that!” The volume of my words surprises me, drills through me. My head pounds more, harder and harder. Palpitations fill me. My heart’s going to….

  Sweat…too much and…my mouth’s too dry. And I’m….

  Everything becomes a blur. I need to sleep…but I can’t. They won’t…and I can’t… I look up and see shapes on the walls. The bricks are moving, changing, forming big circles and squares of darker colors. Patterns.

  I try to lift my arm, but I’ve got no energy. It’s just all…gone….

  “Being Untamed is bad, isn’t it?”

  “Concentrate on what you’re feeling now, Shania. The discomfort, the pain—that’s what being Untamed is.”

  “The evil inside you is making you feel this way.”

  “Expel it.”

  I look at them through my blurry eyes. “No….”

  Just do it. You’re too tired. And Raleigh’s still got you. Whether you’re Untamed or not, he’s going to make you save everyone. It won’t change the outcome.

  No…no…no… There’s still…still something.

  “Hope,” I say. And I see a set of blue eyes before me. Like blue crystals.

  Whose eyes are they? Can’t think…my head…too….

  “Join us, Shania, join us and we’ll let you have some water and let you sleep. And you need water—you haven’t drunk any in ages… And you’re weakening fast…so little energy, no fuel. And you need it, don’t you? You are hungry. So, Shania, will you join us? We’ll feed you when you join us. Imagine that: food, water, and sleep.”

  Yes.

  “No….”

  I think they smile as they look at each other.

  “Give her two more vials of Tiredness and one of Hunger. And turn the temperature up again. That’s sure to weaken her.”

  My mother stands in the cell over me. I’m sitting up, but barely. She wobbles in my blurry vision, and I know she can’t be here. Not really.

  No, it’s because I’m tired. I’m seeing things.

  But she looks real as she crouches down. She’s wearing a spicy perfume, and its scent washes over me. Hints of cinnamon and cardamom and pepper and something woody.

  “My baby,” she whispers, and her beautiful black hair falls in a curtain around her face, obscures her mirror eyes from me. “Don’t take the augmenters. They are full of badness.”

  I try to frown, but my head hurts too much.

  “Seven, do you hear me? Don’t take them.” She moves her head, and her hair moves, reveals her mirrors again, as if it’s a game.

  “I won’t,” I whisper, and my voice cracks. Everything in my mouth cracks. Too dry and—and it’s still so hot in here. Yet she’s not sweating. It’s just me.

  My mother looks at me. “I’ve seen how it ends, and it ends in fire.”

  And she touches my hand and—

  A woman falls in flames. She screams, and long, dark hair whips around in front of her face, obscures her features. Orange tongues rise around her. They eat her.

  Her scream goes on and on, cuts the night.

&nb
sp; And then it’s over.

  I flinch as the vision disappears, as my mother yanks the images back into her own head.

  I look at her, my eyes wide. “What was that?”

  “It ends in fire for you,” my mother whispers again, but it’s just her voice. For when I look around, when I search for her again, she’s not here.

  There’s no one here. Not even the Enhanced…when did they go?

  It’s just me.

  Tired and thirsty and hungry and weak—

  So tired.

  “Well, aren’t you a strong one? Resisting for so long.”

  I look up at the man hovering over me as he gradually slides into focus. Raleigh. His lips peel back as he smiles, but the movement reminds me of skinning a bird. Like how Marouska—the real Marouska—used to do back at Nbutai. She’d pull the skin off with long tugs. Sometimes, she’d throw the skin for the dogs, and they’d all go mad for it.

  “But you saw sense in the end, and I’m glad.”

  Saw sense?

  I… I… I agreed with them? Flashes come back to me, but it seems so long ago… The men shouting. Mirror eyes glinting. Me screaming, trying to sleep—them not letting me. I swallow with difficulty; my throat’s sore, and there’s a dull pain behind my eyes.

  But I didn’t agree.

  I wouldn’t agree.

  I wouldn’t!

  Everything about Raleigh’s body language says that he’s surveying me carefully, his gaze covering every part of me. It’s then that I see what he’s holding out to me. Food. Behind him, two Enhanced stand by the door. It’s partially open; for a second, I entertain the idea of running for it, trying to dodge the guards.

  But I wouldn’t get far. Raleigh would ensure that.

  No. I’ve got to be careful. Wait until the Gods and Goddesses have forgiven me, so that when I’m out there I get the warnings again. And wait until I’m in contact with the blue-eyed Seer again?

  My body jolts. I’m still Untamed. I must be. I’m thinking about rebelling. About escape.

  I’m Untamed.

  And they don’t know? They think they’ve broken me?

  The smell of chicken stew wafts over me, and I sit up and take the bowl and spoon from Raleigh, nervous. Does he know? Or did they stop that torture session because I wasn’t complying and I was getting too weak, dangerously weak? No, he said I saw sense in the end.

  “Where’s my mother?” I ask, remembering that…that dream? That hallucination?

  “She’s still posted at New Kimearo.”

  “I—I want to see her.”

  “You can’t. Not yet.”

  Not yet… So in the future, I will? I look up at Raleigh, but something makes me seal my lips.

  A moment later, he hands me a bread roll, getting it from his pocket, still watching me. The roll is furry, covered in tiny hairs, makes me feel like I’m holding a tiny animal. I put it down on the floor quickly. Raleigh sits down opposite, crossing his long legs out on the floor in front of him so his toes touch my feet. I draw my knees closer to my body, yank my feet toward me.

  Raleigh snorts. “Eat.”

  I look down at the food. The bowl is warm in my hands, but the stew doesn’t smell strong anymore—not like it should. Not like that burning lamb did. I swallow hard. My stomach churns as I stir the stew with the spoon. There’s oil on the surface of it.

  “You have to eat, Shania. And I know you’re hungry.”

  But he’s wrong. I don’t feel hungry. Not now. Did I before—after the Hunger? I can’t remember. It’s all just…like it’s not there. Gone. And I can’t remember. My mind protecting myself?

  “I want to see Esther,” I say. “Is she all right?”

  “You’ll see your friend as soon as you’re good for me. It can be a reward.” His mirrors flash, and I look away as he turns more toward me—don’t want to see my own eyes, in his. “Eat up.”

  The spoon hits a lump as I continue stirring. My gut clenches.

  “I’m not hungry.”

  “You need to keep your strength up, Shania. You need to be strong now—strong enough to keep the Untamed evil away, because it may try to come back.” It’s already back. It never left. “Not eating won’t solve anything.” There’s something about his tone that reminds me of Jed, and my insides curl a little. Raleigh smiles.

  “I don’t like chicken.” It’s a lie, but just the fact that I’m able to say it makes me feel better. Proves I’m definitely still Untamed, because, if the augmenters were working, I wouldn’t be able to lie. Would I? Not when lying’s bad.

  So why aren’t they working?

  “Nonsense,” Raleigh says. “You love chicken. It is good for you.”

  I bite my lip. The augmenters—I still don’t feel the pull of them. Not like before. All I feel is…sick. My stomach churns.

  Raleigh leans forward, looks at me carefully. His eyes narrow a little, and he inhales sharply, stares at me for several long moments. “Your powers are stronger. I can feel them now, even without getting in your head. I can feel your Seer powers.” He nods, rubs his hands together. “That last session with me must’ve helped. Partially unlocked your abilities. They’re closer to the surface. And getting rid of the Untamed evil has helped, because you know it’s the right thing to do really, don’t you?”

  His grin makes me feel sicker.

  “If you’re not going to eat, you’d better come with me.”

  He takes the bowl of stew from me, with the spoon in it, and I watch him set them on the floor. And then—then my Promise Marks burn, and I’m getting up, following him to the door.

  No.

  I speed up, let him take my arm as we walk, as we get out of the cell, as we go down the corridor.

  I try to pull my arm back—feel my pulse quicken—but I can’t.

  Raleigh chuckles.

  And I know—I know what he’s going to make me do even before we get to the room. Even before a guard brings Elia Jackson back, and two more Enhanced stand by the door. Even before Raleigh sits me down on a stool, and—

  His hands clamp around my head.

  “No!” I try to get away from him, pour every ounce of energy into getting away from him, but I can’t—can’t do anything, can’t….

  “Still refusing?” Raleigh’s voice is like a cold worm. “Well, I suppose there will be some residual evil in you. Come on, Shania. I’ll guide you again. And then next time—when you’re completely better you’ll be able to do it yourself.”

  Next time? My heart palpitates.

  He lifts my head up, makes me look at the girl. She looks just as gormless as before, her expression unfocussed, just blank.

  “Concentrate on her. Don’t look away.”

  Pain lassoes around my eyeballs, and I can’t look away. He makes sure of that. Can’t blink.

  “Now. You’re going to give me access to your powers, Shania. Aren’t you?” Raleigh croons, but his voice is distant and—

  Something crashes into my back. Something hard and—I scream as I realize it’s his body, and then he lifts me up—by my head—so my buckling legs are on the stool’s top, and he presses me against him. His grip on my skull tightens—his fingers are like nails, digging in, deeper and deeper.

  I feel something wet around my temples, wetness, sliding down.

  Something inside me clicks.

  “Yes…” Raleigh mutters. “Oh, yes.”

  Scorching pain, inside my head. A flash, behind my eyes, and—

  No.

  My breathing speeds up. I think of the blue-eyed Seer. I’m not on my own. It’s not me against Raleigh. It’s me and her—whomever she is—against Raleigh. And Raleigh doesn’t know that. I’ve got the element of surprise.

  And I try to get to her, try to contact her; I need her help, but….

  “Lift your arm,” Raleigh whispers, and I don’t know why he says the words aloud, when he makes me do it, when my left arm rises because it’s what he wants.

  My fingers tingle, and I star
t to curl my fingers, make a fist.

  “No,” Raleigh whispers.

  My fingers uncurl. My palm is flat, facing away from me. Facing toward the girl.

  “Run!” I bite the word out, try to aim it at the girl, but I haven’t got enough volume, and she’s not listening to me, and—

  I howl as the pain gets sharper. As white light flickers from my hand. Blinding.

  No.

  No.

  No.

  “Yes, I knew you felt stronger.” Raleigh’s smiling. I can’t see his face, but I know he’s smiling. Smiling as if this is the most brilliant thing to have happened to him in his life.

  I try to lower my arm, but the pain in my head gets harder.

  Need to stop him. Need to….

  “And again,” Raleigh whispers.

  Slugs. No, maggots. His voice reminds me of maggots. Maggots festering in a wound, crawling round and round in raw flesh, their creamy bodies swollen and pulsating.

  I feel the energy slithering down my arm this time. Through my veins, my tendons, to my palm, and I try to stop it—I really do, but I—

  My scream cuts my ears as white light bulbs from my hand, shoots forward, and hits Elia squarely in my chest. For a moment, she doesn’t do anything. But then she falls, hits the floor with a small gasp.

  Raleigh lets go of me, physically and mentally, and I fall forward, smash into the floor. My head pounds, darkness, darkness, darkness, and red and blood and pain and….

  I start choking, feel bile burn as it rises. I throw up noisily, projectile vomiting an awful lot of liquid and slimy green stuff. Acid burns my tongue, makes my eyes water. My arms flail, and then my foot hits one of the stool’s legs, and it scrapes across the floor. Raleigh shakes his head in mock-sympathy. He crouches over Elia’s body, two fingers against her neck. His lips twitch—in disgust? Then he points at my pile of vomit.

  “It’s a pity there’s still an Untamed seed inside you. All that pain—those negative emotions—could’ve been avoided, if you’d just tried harder. But I know what will help.”

  He’s back at my side—moving too quickly—and clasps my arms.

  “André, pass me those scissors.”