by C. J. Valles
“How was your day?” she asks.
My mind goes blank. What had I told her we were doing?
“We just hung out with Audra.”
Of course, I leave out the part where I blacked out after seeing the princess responsible for torturing Ever. And the part where four immortal henchmen showed up with Alex—someone she’s never met and never will meet. And I definitely can’t tell her that the entire point of today was to listen to the grisly, short-short version of the history of Ever’s dimension.
“Well, is there an ETA on when you’re getting home, so I can order the pizza?”
“Um, it’ll be a while. If you want to leave a couple of slices for me, that’s okay.”
“I’ll wait,” she says cheerfully.
By the time I get downstairs, Ever, Audra, and Chasen are waiting like perfectly posed mannequins. Then Chasen turns to me and grins widely.
“I demand a rematch.”
“Maybe next time. I’ve had enough of a beat down for one day.”
“I barely touched you!” Audra cries defensively.
I’ve actually had way too much immortal drama for one day, but at least I know Alex is somewhat okay—for now. Ever takes my hand, and we start moving toward the front entrance of the house.
“We’ll follow you,” Chasen says to Ever as soon as we’re outside.
A second later, Ever’s arm wraps around my waist, and suddenly we’re flying silently through the trees. I see the terrain in flashes, quick glimpses through Ever’s eyes as we move. But it’s not as exhilarating as it was earlier. The carefree feeling I had from before is gone, replaced by the dread of seeing Alex tortured and wounded. Ever sets me down, and I notice an unfamiliar SUV parked beside Ever’s car. It makes me think back to landing in South America with Alex and finding an SUV with clothes waiting for us.
Never underestimate the power and influence of money, Alex said at the time.
Ever and the others clearly have money and infinite time, and it reminds me of what they have—and haven’t—chosen to do with their power. They could have very easily bent humanity to their will, controlled the populace for their own benefit. But they didn’t. They existed in oppression, as slaves to the ruling class in their own world, but they’ve chosen to live on the periphery of our world rather than to dominate it.
Getting in the car, I look at Ever. For his sake, I have to sit here and pretend that a piece of my heart isn’t breaking for Alex. And soon I’ll be home with my mom, and then I’ll have to pretend that everything is normal even though she’s dating a monster.
Right now, I just have to pretend everything is all right. Even if nothing is.
13: Anticipation
Ever was right. I have all these things that I should be looking forward to. Turning eighteen, prom, graduation, college, the rest of my life. The problem is that I could blink—and it might all disappear. I guess the same is true for everyone. The only difference is that I know what’s coming for me.
The strange part, though, is that it’s almost easier now that evil has a name and a face. A very pale face. I make a mental note to ask Ever about that. Victor looks more like a vampire, but not from one of those cheesy TV shows. No distressed jeans and black leather jacket. He’s more traditional than that, and I almost expect him to show up wearing a floor-length black cape for dramatic effect.
Being in school reminds me that I need to be present and accountable for the human part of my life. But it also reminds me of all the people I’m putting at risk. Going through the line at lunch, I see Lindsay and Matt. Matt, who wasn’t in Journalism last period. Of course, that’s not exactly unusual for him. When there’s not a lot going on, Mr. McG isn’t a stickler for attendance—and Matt doesn’t have any reservations about ditching, unlike me. If I ditched class, I would run into Mr. Chernoff.
I’m walking toward their table when I see everyone else—minus Zach—at another table. Sensing drama, I head over to where Ashley’s sitting with Marcus, Josh, and Taylor.
“Did I miss something?” I ask uneasily.
“Lindsay and Zach hit the skids with a capital S,” Josh says helpfully.
Taylor elbows him in the ribs. Honestly, if someone were to break things off before graduation, I would have thought it was going to be Taylor and Josh, because Josh is, well, Josh.
“What? When?” I ask.
In other words: where was I?
“You know Lindsay,” Ashley says, waving her arms in the air dramatically.
Ash doesn’t mean this in a nasty way. Lindsay is our resident drama queen, just like I would still be the invisible girl if it weren’t for my friends. I look around the table and feel my stomach pitch. I hadn’t thought about things coming apart with my friends. And right before graduation—really? When someone sits down next to me, I turn and look at Matt.
“How’s Linds? And where were you last period?”
“Well, it would seem that Lindsay and I had a caffeine craving at the exact same moment.”
“Seriously? You two ditched for a coffee run?”
“Yeah, and look what she came back with …”
All of us look over at the same moment, and I have to stop myself from jumping up when I see Lindsay sitting across from the prince of darkness.
“Well, I’m going to go find Zach,” Marcus says, getting up.
Matt gets up, too.
“I’m heading over to Mr. McG’s,” Matt says. “Did he say anything about me being gone last period?”
I shake my head at Matt’s question, but I can’t tear my eyes away from Lindsay flirting with my worst nightmare. All I can think of is what Victor said: There will be no peace until you relent. Right now he’s twisting the knife, making sure I know that he was right. I can’t protect everyone, and I definitely can’t tell them the truth.
I can’t win.
I know Ever said we could win—together. But at what cost? And whose victory would it be? Because I know someone is going to pay; Alex already has. Taking a couple of bites of my salad, picking around the mandarin oranges, I get up and look at Ashley and Taylor.
“Come on. We’re taking Lindsay back from goth guy over there …”
“We are?” Taylor asks.
“Why? That guy’s hot in a moody, emo sort of way,” Ashley says. “Sort of a reverse Ever.”
I cringe.
“Please, Ash. Don’t say that right after I’ve eaten.”
She laughs and stands up, completely oblivious to the fact that I’m not joking.
“Fine! Everybody leave me here. Whatever!” Josh moans.
As soon as the three of us start walking toward the table where Lindsay and Victor are, I see Victor’s eyes shift in our direction. Suddenly I realize what he’s doing. He’s herding me back to where I was a year ago.
Nothing’s changed.
If he keeps pushing, I’ll be forced to betray someone. I’ve already betrayed Ever in the worst possible way. And that’s the problem. I will always end up backed into a corner, with only one bargaining chip—my life. The other option is to sacrifice other people. I look from Ashley to Taylor.
“Guys, help me out here. Do you really want to go to prom with that guy instead of Zach? Besides, this is cold-blooded. I mean, when did they break up—this morning?”
When we come up behind Lindsay, Victor smiles.
“Friends of yours?” he asks Lindsay.
Lindsay turns in her seat and gives us an annoyed look.
“Are you going to introduce us?” I ask.
Lindsay rolls her eyes.
“Ashley, Taylor, Wren—this is Victor. Victor, my nosy friends.”
“Linds, we’ve got prom details we have to discuss.”
She looks me up and down.
“Since when did you become a fan of prom?”
“Since it’s going to be one of the last times all of us are together … and I thought you and Zach were going to take Chasen and Audra again. Wasn’t that the plan?”
She scowls at me.
>
“Lindsay, your friends can have you back. For now.”
I watch as Victor stands up and begins strolling out of the cafeteria, glancing around like he owns the place already.
“What the hell, you guys?” Lindsay wails.
“Linds, friends don’t let friends hook up with creepy, strange men,” I tell her.
“Creepy? What are you talking about? Victor’s hawt. Ash, Taylor? Come on!”
“A little goth, but yeah—totally hot,” Ashley agrees.
“Not my type. Still hot, though,” Taylor laughs.
I look at my friends, searching their thoughts. In their minds, all I can see is static when they think of Victor’s face, much like when they think of Ever’s. But I have to assume that they’re not seeing him as I see him. To them, he’s not the dark overlord of another dimension. To them, he probably just looks like the perfect contender for the latest vampire show. And what did I expect? That he was going to sit down and tell Lindsay that he is the master of all evil who’s come to enslave us?
“Can you at least tell us what happened with Zach?” I ask, sitting down next to her.
She rolls her eyes.
“Well, my boyfriend—ex-boyfriend—in his infinite wisdom decided to set the pace of our relationship at slow-motion.”
“Which means what exactly?” I ask.
“We’re going so slowly we’re moving backward.”
“And you broke up with him?” I clarify.
Lindsay nods.
“Wow … You sound like a total guy,” Ashley tells her.
“Don’t I?” Lindsay grins. “Anyway, he said it was a bad idea to do anything before I leave for New York in the fall.”
I frown and look down. Is Zach right? If Lindsay’s leaving in the fall, should they end things now? Or make the most of the time they have? I can see Lindsay’s dilemma … and Zach’s. My situation isn’t the same, but it’s similar. Time may be never-ending to Ever and the others, but for Lindsay, Zach, the rest of my mortal friends, and me? Time is short.
Victor could decide tomorrow that me being alive isn’t worth the risk. My choices now—what I do and don’t do—could be permanent. But I have another complication. Something I never could have anticipated. Alex. He is my complication.
“Lindsay?” I ask, looking up. “Do you love him?”
She snorts.
“The new guy? I met him like an hour ago.”
I shake my head and look her in the eye.
“Zach. Do you love Zach?”
Lindsay blows out a breath and drums her blue fingernails on the table before looking over at me. There are tears in her eyes, threatening the state of her dramatic eye makeup.
“Yeah, I kinda do.”
Ignoring the “kinda” in her answer, I reach over and squeeze her hand.
“Then talk to him. Don’t complicate things with some guy you just met in a coffee shop.”
I should know. I did exactly that with Alex; the only difference between my situation last year and hers now is that I had my memory erased at the time. And I fell in love with the guy in the coffee shop not knowing he was someone I should have hated. Ashley sighs and hugs Lindsay.
“Wren’s right, Linds. Give Zach a chance … and wear something super hot the next time you see him.”
Taylor starts laughing, shaking her head in embarrassment.
“Why stop there?” Ash laughs. “I think we should all just torture our boyfriends.”
I smile, but my stomach is doing somersaults at the memory of what Ever said about tormenting him. He was joking—I hope—but that doesn’t make me feel better. I’ve spent the past year convincing myself that I’ve been mourning Alex because he sacrificed himself—not because I loved him. Seeing him in the mirror after the party last year, I really thought that was the end. That he was gone, and I was going to have to live with the guilt forever. But now I know he’s still out there, being tortured, because of me. And when I think of that night at the edge of the world—the desperation in his voice—I know what I told him that night was true. In another lifetime, if Ever had never existed, I could have loved Alex.
In this lifetime, all I can do is try to save him.
Lindsay sniffles, and my eyes refocus on her. There will be no peace until you relent. I realize that Victor’s going to take my life apart piece by piece if I let him. The bell rings, and the three of us get up to grab our stuff. I look back once at Lindsay, who’s bent over her compact trying to fix her makeup.
I crack my knuckles as I walk toward Trig. I don’t plan on relenting—not without a fight—so I guess peace isn’t in my future. But if I can win peace for everyone else, no matter what the price, I will.
When I get to class, I concentrate on Trig. Ms. Kwan said I could raise my grade, which is just barely above passing, before the end of the year, but I’m struggling. It’s funny, because everyone was complaining about AP English … and they’re all in AP Calculus, which would have been the death of me. I shudder. Poor choice of words. Besides, a lot of other things might be the death of me before math gets me. When I raise my hand and ask a question about the homework, Ms. Kwan presses her lips together and smiles thinly.
“Well, if you would have read the book, you’d know that the sine of the angle gives the length of the y-component of the triangle, the cosine gives the length of the x-component, and the tangent function gives the slope,” she says with a superior tone.
I shake my head and don’t say anything. I read what was in the textbook a dozen times last night. I understand the theory; it’s getting through the equations that’s messing me up. But explaining to my teacher that I just plain suck at complex algebraic equations isn’t going to help me.
When Brian, the junior who sits behind me, asks a question that irritates Ms. Kwan even more than my question, she forgets all about me and focuses on belittling him. I figure it might be time to enlist my last resort and ask Ever to try tutoring me, even though I firmly believe that math geniuses—Ever being a genius at everything in history—can’t explain anything. They can just do it. There’s a difference between being able to do something effortlessly and explaining it to someone who doesn’t get it.
By the time class is finally over, I breathe a sigh of relief and head toward my locker. It’s a relief not to have a sixth period, mostly because I need the extra time to try to beat Trig into my skull with a blunt instrument. Opening my locker, I smile as I unfold the piece of paper.
I missed you.
Slamming the locker door, I start walking quickly toward the parking lot as everyone else rushes toward sixth period. Since I drove myself to school this morning, I’m expecting Ever to be waiting by my car. I’m almost past the Journalism room—which is usually empty sixth period—when the door swings open. A hand grabs mine, and looking up, I freeze in place, unable to speak or move. It’s not possible. It’s just not possible.
Alex.
I open my mouth to say something as he pulls me into Mr. McG’s room, but he shakes his head. Then, before I can think, before I can do anything, he leans down, and a wave of relief—and guilt—hits me as his lips touch mine.
He’s here. Somehow.
But something’s wrong. I freeze. This isn’t Alex. Bracing my hands on his chest, I shove as hard as I can, hurling myself in the opposite direction. Breathing hard, I look up and see Victor staring back at me, gloating. My hands tighten into fists, and I step toward him, shaking with anger.
“You—”
An arm wraps around my waist, pulling me off my feet and easily lifting me away from Victor. A second later, Ever is in front of me holding a double-edged blade with a handle at its center—like the one Alex used the day at West Street Beach. Victor smiles and touches his lips.
“Apart from the obvious, I can see now why you’ve both found her so alluring,” Victor purrs, smiling at Ever. “She has a passion I’ve rarely tasted on human lips … such a shame that passion wasn’t meant for you.”
Victor’s
features ripple, and suddenly I’m staring at Alex again. Ever doesn’t flinch, almost like he was expecting him to morph into Alex. I swear softly under my breath and wish I had the power to send Victor screaming back to his dimension right this second.
“Wren, do think about the offer we discussed,” he says casually.
Ever takes a step toward him, but Victor just laughs.
“Not today. Another perhaps.”
I watch as he turns calmly and begins walking toward the door. When it swings shut behind him, Ever faces me.
“It’s just going to get worse, isn’t it?” I ask.
He nods.
“Victor will continue to test you until he believes he’s found your weakest point.”
And my weakest points are my guilt for all those I’ve put in danger—and my love for Ever and Alex.
14: Before
I’m sitting on the counter in the bathroom watching my mom get ready for her date with Dick. Since the moment Victor appeared on the street in downtown Portland, I’ve felt like my life has been swinging on a pendulum from normal to insane and then back again.
“I can’t believe my baby is going to be eighteen so soon! And graduation!” She pauses. “Did your father ever get back to you about coming up?”
I shake my head and look down.
“Are you going to go down there at all this summer?” she asks carefully.
“Maybe,” I shrug. “But I want to stay and work for as long as possible.”
I look up at my mom and realize that she’s trying to plan a getaway with Dick, which only makes me wonder how bad things will get before I panic and give in to Victor.
“What’s on your agenda for the evening?” she asks.
I smile.
“Shopping for dresses with the girls.”
It’s a welcome break from putting on my gladiator outfit and dodging pointy objects with Audra. Besides, my little “workout” sessions with her have left me with an unshakable sense of guilt. I’m afraid Ever knows why I’m doing it. Because no matter how much of my mind I think I can keep hidden, I may never truly grasp how powerful Ever is.