by C. J. Valles
“That’s great, honey.”
Seeing the look of relief on my mom’s face, I frown. First off, she’s relieved that I’m not going out with Ever. Second, she’s wishing that I would stay over at a friend’s house so she doesn’t have to worry about coming home early from her date with Dick. Lovely.
“What are you and Richard doing tonight?” I ask innocently.
“He’s taking me to a show at the Schnitzer.”
“The concert hall?”
She nods. I remember passing it after Ever and I went to the museum last year. I exhale.
“So, are things between you guys getting really serious?” I ask despondently.
My mom looks at me with a wry expression.
“Honey, I know I went all mom-from-hell on Ever, but I’ve been thinking about it, and now that you’re almost eighteen, I need to trust that you’ll make responsible, adult decisions. And as long as you promise me you’ll be safe, you don’t have to tell me everything. But I expect the same from you. I don’t have to tell you everything. Fair enough?”
I nod and hop off the counter.
“Fair enough.”
She leans over and kisses me on the cheek.
“Have a good time with your friends tonight.”
I smile and nod before walking back to my room. Within an hour, I’m in the back seat of Chasen’s huge SUV with Audra at the wheel.
“This is awesome!” Lindsay squawks from the front seat.
To her, everything is either awesome or cataclysmic, and I guess I can relate. When she leans forward and jacks up the volume until the bass is making my brain hurt, Taylor and I look at each other and start to laugh uncontrollably. We’re on the way to the same mall where I got my dress for last year’s spring formal—the dance that I never attended. I’m glad Audra’s driving, mostly because I probably already would have crashed with Lindsay blasting the music and shrieking in my ear every five seconds.
“It’s weird that this is it, don’t you think?” I say to Taylor and Ashley. “End of senior year? By this time next year, we’ll be finishing our first year of college.”
My friends will be, at least. I’ve stopped guessing where I’ll be.
“I’m just glad to be escaping the evil stepmother from hell,” Taylor says. “I keep telling myself: Just gotta get through summer, and then I’m outta here.”
I smile crookedly and squeeze her shoulder. When Audra merges onto 217, I marvel at the fact that after a year I can actually recognize some of the freeways in Oregon. On the other hand, if someone were to drop me off five miles from our house, I’d probably get lost, but knowing the freeway names is an improvement for me.
“So, Audra … what was it like with you and Chasen being on separate continents for the entire year?” Lindsay asks.
Audra glances at me in the rearview mirror and smiles. Lindsay has tentatively patched things up with Zach, and Victor has remained scarce since the day in the cafeteria, but I’m still aware how fragile things are.
“It passed by in a millisecond,” she says in an upper crust British accent.
“Wow. Really? I kinda thought—no offense—that you guys would have broken up.”
“We saw each other all the time, so it was easier,” Audra tells her.
“He came to see you?”
Audra nods.
“If you want to make it work, you make it work. But you’re young—”
“You’re only a year older than us!” Lindsay points out.
Audra smiles.
“Regardless, your outlook may change as your experiences broaden.”
Audra pulls off the freeway, and a minute later we’re passing by the coffee shop where I first confronted Ever—a lifetime ago. I gawk when I see Ever sitting out front like he was that night more than a year ago. He smiles as we pass, and I bite my lip to keep from laughing. I’m sure Audra knows he’s there, but no one else notices.
He never said much about the afternoon in Mr. McG’s classroom with Victor—and there wasn’t anything I could say to make it any better. For a few seconds in time, I had thought Alex had escaped, and I want to believe that what Victor felt in my kiss was simple—relief. But part of me knows that isn’t completely true.
Some part of me loves Alex with a desperation that I think only happens when you know your love is completely wrong but you still can’t help yourself.
Audra parks in the structure, and we all climb out. Last year, I had been dreading dancing in public, but I’m way past that. Dancing is no longer the scary monster it once was. And if I embarrass myself, it’s not going to kill me. Victor might, but dancing won’t. I know that now. Besides, what I said to Taylor is true: prom is probably one of the last times we’ll all be together.
Looking at Ashley, Taylor, and Lindsay, I realize that maybe it’s a good thing that we’ll all be going off in separate directions at the end of the school year. I’ll miss everyone, but I have to admit that they’ll be safer away from me. At least I hope they will be. But if I don’t figure out a way to beat Victor, then—I shudder and try not to think of the consequences.
Everyone votes to go out for dinner before shopping, which is fine since I’m making some money now. The Italian place by the movie theatre is packed with after-work shoppers, but we get seated pretty quickly. I order something with lots of butter, garlic, and shrimp. Audra, I notice, orders a salad. I’ve gotten used to watching Ever and the others eat—or at least appear to—on the rare occasions where it would attract more attention for them not to. After all, like Ever said, they don’t need food for energy, so eating, for them, is mostly pointless. But it’s still possible.
I order an Italian soda and try to think of how different things would have been if I had never left Southern California … if my parents were still married … if I couldn’t read minds … if I had never laid eyes on Ever.
Then I wouldn’t have any of this.
After dinner, when Ashley gets up to go to the bathroom, I see her talking to the server. A minute later, he comes over carrying a slice of chocolate cake with a candle sticking out of it. My mouth drops open when everyone starts singing Happy Birthday.
“But guys, my birthday isn’t even—”
“It’s close enough. Besides, hello! Your birthday is the same freaking day as prom, and after what you guys got me for my eighteenth?” Ashley says, plunking a gift bag down in front of me. “It’s time I repaid the favor.”
She snickers as I cringe. For Ash’s birthday, we got her a ridiculously lacey hot pink bra and matching underwear, plus a very adult book with my employee discount, amongst other things. When I groan in terror, Taylor shakes her head.
“It’s not that bad. Audra picked it out. Trés fancy. You can totally wear them for prom.”
“Yeah, Ever will love your present,” Lindsay cackles.
I give her a look.
“Then I’m definitely waiting to look until I’m safely in the dressing room to open this,” I mutter. “But thank you guys so much.”
I lean in for an awkward group hug, and Audra insists on paying for the entire dinner. As we walk to the dress shop, Lindsay’s usual manic energy level is infectious. Still, I can’t help envying everyone else’s excitement for dress shopping. Audra may be the only non-human present, but I feel like the pretender. I may have—mostly—gotten over my fear of dance-induced humiliation, but I still have miserable taste in formalwear.
Not surprisingly, within a few minutes, everyone else has a handful of hangers, and I’m still wavering back and forth on the one dress I’ve managed to pick out.
“Clearly not the right color for you,” Audra says, taking the dress I’m holding and putting it back. “Come with me.”
I follow her into the dressing room and gawk at the dress Taylor’s wearing.
“Um, wow.”
She cringes at me.
“Is it terrible?”
“No, it’s … I mean, are you trying to make Josh insane?”
Taylor sm
iles wickedly and spins around. Her dress is deep purple—with a slit practically all the way up the leg.
“Yeah, I kinda am.”
“Well, it’s perfect, then.”
I take out my phone and snap a picture of her.
“I’d send it to Josh, but we don’t want him drooling until prom. Messy, you know?”
“You really think it’s okay?” she asks nervously.
Ashley comes out of one of the dressing rooms wearing a neon green tube dress.
“Yes, Taylor—yes already!” she huffs. “We all think Josh is going to be a drooling moron when he sees you.”
When I shake my head, Ashley looks down at her dress.
“I know—it’s awful!” she says before stalking back into her dressing room.
Audra grabs my hand and pulls me into one of the empty rooms. Then I watch in horror as she takes my birthday present and pulls out a lacey, black bra and matching panties. Fortunately, I have totally gotten over stripping down to my underwear in front of immortal perfection. Getting completely naked is another thing. When Audra nods for me to try on my brand new lingerie, I smirk at her until she turns around.
“Happy now?” she demands.
“Um, yeah. I’m embarrassed enough trying these on with just me looking.”
“You humans and your modesty,” she mutters under her breath.
While her back is turned, I swap my regular cotton underwear for black lace. With a huff, she turns around and hands me a blood-red dress. By the time I slip it on, she’s wearing a shimmering sheath dress that makes her look like even more of a goddess. I study myself in the mirror.
“Really? It’s a little red, isn’t it?”
Audra gives me a stern look and then moves around me to zip the back.
“There. This was much more efficient than having you wander the store for an hour.”
I would argue with her, but I know she’s right. Turning toward the mirror, I smile crookedly at my reflection. I can’t fault Audra for her taste in clothing. Immortality apparently makes her impervious to poor fashion choices.
“Shall we go show the others?” Audra asks.
“Fine,” I smile. “Now everyone else can feel inferior to immortal perfection.”
When we walk out, Lindsay growls.
“You’re both freaking done?”
I smile. Then, thinking of Victor sitting across the table from Lindsay, I shiver. When Ash and Taylor join us, I start getting weepy.
“I’m really going to miss you guys.”
Lindsay rolls her eyes with an air of disgust.
“Shut up, Sullivan! Who’s the queen of drama? That’s right—moi! No weepy sob-fests until I say so.”
Ashley wraps her arm around Lindsay and rolls her eyes.
“I apologize on Lindsay’s behalf. She forgot her sensitivity pills at home.”
While everyone else continues trying on dresses, Audra and I go to the counter to pay for ours. When she takes my dress and gestures to the sales clerk that she’s paying for both, I open my mouth to argue until Audra’s cerulean eyes flash over to me. As in: Who do you think is going to win this little argument?
I shrug. Yeah, yeah. Another immortal I can’t win against.
15: Proposal
I keep waiting … and waiting for something to happen. Actually, I’ve been waiting for tragedy. But time just passes in a vacuum. Go to school, go to work, repeat. And with each passing moment, my guilt pushes me further and further from Ever.
I know he can see it in my eyes—the guilt that’s been eating away at me, but I just keep bottling it up. Before I know it, it’s the day before prom—and the night before my birthday—and all I can see every time I shut my eyes is Alex’s bloodied and broken body, his sapphire eyes pleading with me.
I am guilt incarnate.
Grinding my pencil into my notebook, I force myself to focus on the next problem in my homework, wondering what kind of miracle I’m going to need to not flunk Trig. I just got off work a couple of hours ago, and my prom dress is hanging off of the back of the closet door—a blood-red reminder that I’m going to a party while Alex is being tortured in another dimension.
When the doorbell rings, I nearly jump out of my skin. My phone buzzes next, causing adrenaline to pump through me like liquid fear. Grabbing the phone from the desk, I look down. It’s a picture of Audra. She’s waiting downstairs. Suddenly I feel a flash of true excitement.
This is it, I think. We’re finally going after Alex.
When I open the front door, she looks me up and down with an exasperated expression. Passing by me, she walks up the stairs and continues to my room. Confused, I follow behind her, arriving just in time to see her rifling through my closet.
“We’re going out for coffee. Are you wearing decent undergarments?”
“For coffee?” I laugh. “Decent enough.”
“Here,” she says, handing me a dress that’s definitely not from my closet. “Put it on, and let us go, shall we?”
Miraculously a pair of heels appears in her hand.
“Prom’s tomorrow in case you’ve forgotten,” I point out.
“And you need practice wearing something other than jeans.”
I look down at my outfit and wince.
“Ouch.”
She doesn’t say anything as she waits for me to change. When we get downstairs, I open the front door and walk toward her car. By the time I sit down in the passenger seat, I’m practically vibrating with nervous energy.
“Are we—”
She gives me a sharp look, and I stop. Turning to look out the window, I watch the darkness whip by as we cross over the hill into town. When she parks, I follow her up a set of wooden stairs into a coffee shop.
“Let me guess. You needed some caffeine to stay awake for the rest of eternity?” I smile as we step into line.
She doesn’t say anything, instead gesturing for me to order my drink. I order a hot chocolate, and as we walk to a table in the corner, I can’t help feeling haunted by a creepy sense of déjà vu. Sitting in a coffee shop with Ever more than a year ago, I hadn’t realized at the time that I was at the edge of a cliff, completely unaware of how far I could possibly fall.
“When!”
Used to every variation of mispronunciation when it comes to my name, I immediately jump up and walk to the counter to retrieve my drink, smirking when I see the name scrawled on the side of my cup.
When. Ever. … Whenever. Ugh. It’s like a really bad joke. As I start walking back to the table, I cringe at the look on Audra’s face. These immortals have perfected expressions of utter vacancy, so when I see the slightest ripple in their otherwise composed façades, it’s generally bad. I sit down across from her and feel her bubble of solitude go up around us. All noise around us disappears, and I know I have limited oxygen.
“He knows,” she says flatly.
I nod without emotion. Of course he does; Ever knows everything. Not wanting to waste my breath, I grab a pen out of my purse and scribble on a napkin.
You won’t help?
“I can’t,” she says with what looks like true regret.
The noise of the coffee shop suddenly blares around us, startling me. Picking up my mug, I sip my hot chocolate like nothing has happened, trying to keep the tears at bay. Then my phone buzzes, and I see Ever’s name. I look up at Audra for clues, but she doesn’t say anything. Frustrated, I pick up the phone.
“Hi. Audra and I are getting coffee,” I chirp with unnatural cheerfulness as I try to hide my guilt.
“I know,” Ever says, his tone amused. “Come outside.”
I’m not sure why, but I flinch at the realization that he’s here, now. When Audra nods, I get up, feeling royally betrayed. As I walk to the door, I wonder if this is what I’ve been dreading for weeks—Ever finding out about my plans to go after Alex. Stepping outside, I look around until my eyes lock onto Ever. He always looks perfect, but tonight … I smile crookedly. He is perfection. And he’s w
earing a suit.
“Uh … Did you and Audra mix up the day for prom?” I ask.
He smiles and begins pulling me along the sidewalk.
“Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise.”
Suddenly suspicious, I slow down.
“A surprise,” I repeat skeptically.
Ever smiles again before pulling me into a recessed alcove. One of his arms slips around my waist, and he lifts me to him. My eyes close as he touches his lips to mine. For a second, I forget we’re in a public place and let my hand slip into his hair. I sigh, my lips parting. When he pulls back, I open my eyes and flinch when I see where we are. Oh … no.
“What happened? Why didn’t Audra say anything?” I gasp.
Ever laughs quietly at my panic, and I don’t know whether to feel angry or relieved as I look around at the very familiar tropical setting. I’ve been here. Twice. And both times immortals were trying to end my short little mortal existence. First Audra and Chasen wanted to kill me before I had even seen them. Then it was the four horsemen, chasing me to the end of the Earth, literally. It was also here that Alex brought back my memory—and I realized how badly I had betrayed Ever during my week of immortal-induced amnesia in Southern California.
“I’m sorry,” Ever says quietly. “I never intended for you to associate this place with tragedy.”
Lifting me all the way into his arms, Ever touches my cheek and carries me through the sand to the small building I remember so well from last year. When he sets me down, I look around at the hundreds of candles flickering in the breeze.
I can’t believe I’m here again. In the middle of the Indian Ocean. In a place I thought I would only see on a tropical calendar. Ever watches as I walk slowly around the room. Seeing the bed—the enormous bed that I woke up in last year—I go over to it, reaching out to touch the gauzy curtains hanging from the bed’s canopy.
“You never told me who owns this place,” I say, spinning around to face Ever.
I imagine some billionaire’s security team flying in by helicopter at any second to evict us.
“I purchased the island shortly after I first brought you here.”