by C. J. Valles
“Wait—you bought … an island?” I gasp.
He smiles.
“To be fair, it’s a very small island.”
“But you bought it?” I repeat. “Why?”
“One night, before we had spoken, you were looking at your calendar, wondering if you would ever see this place for yourself.”
“Is that was why you brought me here that first time?”
He nods, and my heart melts a little bit.
“Wow,” I smile. “Okay, but just curious—what are we doing here now … and shouldn’t it be light out? I mean, aren’t we … I don’t know—half a day ahead here?”
“We are outside of human reality at the moment.”
“Outside of human reality?”
“At the edge of it,” he smiles
I shake my head and laugh a little.
“Never mind. If it’s anything like Alistair’s ‘simple’ explanation about black holes and infinite dimensions, then forget it. I’m not taking physics, remember?”
Suddenly my heart skips a beat.
“But you never answered my original question,” I point out breathlessly. “What are we doing here?”
He begins walking toward me.
“You know, don’t you?” I whisper as he stops in front of me.
I can hear the defeat in my voice.
“I told you before that I will never resent your compassion or your devotion to those you care for. It is part of what I love about you. But I cannot allow you to risk yourself for a misguided feeling of indebtedness toward him.”
I look down. If that were my only problem, it would be one thing.
“That’s not the only reason,” I whisper. “When I was in Southern California …”
“You fell in love with him,” Ever finishes quietly.
I nod as tears begin slipping down my cheeks.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
He shakes his head.
“Why do you think I would blame you for falling in love with someone when you had no idea I even existed?”
“Because I hate myself for it!” I nearly scream.
He pauses.
“I wish I could say I was going to make things easier for you … but I’m not.”
Looking up at him, I shake my head in confusion. Then he takes my hand.
“Wren, I told you that I would wait until your eighteenth birthday, but outside influences are stretching the limits of my forbearance. I brought you here tonight because I am selfish, and I wish never to share you with another being in existence. Now I have two questions for you, and I need you to tell me how you truly feel. I need to hear it from your lips.”
I nod weakly, my mind swimming as I try to catch up with his train of thought.
“If you could return to a normal life right now, would you? Growing older, changing … having children—a normal human existence? Because that is what you will sacrifice if you are with me.”
“It’s not a sacrifice,” I whisper. “Because I want you.”
He brushes my cheeks, drying my tears instantly. Then he kneels down in front of me, a shining black box appearing in his hand. The entire room starts spinning.
“Wren Kathleen Sullivan, will you spend forever with me?”
Part of me is convinced this is another dream, my heart beating so fast that it takes several seconds to realize that I’m staring down at a ring. Automatically I lift my hand to my chest and touch the infinity pendant. The ring that Ever is holding is a perfect match. The only difference is that the infinity symbol of the ring contains two glowing stones unlike anything I’ve seen. I can’t even describe the color, because it keeps changing.
With unexpected certainty, I know that whatever decision I make in this moment will take a part of me with it, because my choice will betray another piece of my heart. I close my eyes and take a breath, wincing as I see Alex beaten and weary between the two horsemen. As I open my eyes, I try to make peace with my decision.
“Ever …”
Looking down at him, I realize that I love Ever so much it’s painful. What scares me beyond reason is how I can have anything left over to love another being—but I do—and as much as I love Ever, I can’t forsake Alex. Right now, though, I just wish the rest of the world didn’t exist, because all I want is to stay here with Ever.
“Yes,” I whisper. “I will love you forever, or as long as I’m alive.”
Ever rises and slips the ring on my left finger, his burning green eyes never leaving mine. Bending down, he touches his lips to mine as his arm wraps around my waist. Then he lifts me easily until I’m nearly eye-level with him. When we kiss this time, there’s a new hunger to the brush of his lips against mine. As my eyes drift closed, his lips travel down to my neck, and I shiver in the eighty-degree tropical heat. He lowers me gently onto the bed.
“I’ve waited so long for you,” he whispers against my ear.
I can feel every inch of his body against mine without a single ounce of pressure, but when I open my eyes to look at him, there’s absolutely no sign of exertion in his taut muscles. Watching me, Ever dips his head and grazes my lips lightly, the sensation like a match sparking. When his lips part mine, I reach up and begin unbuttoning his shirt. Before I can finish with the buttons, he sits up at the side of the bed.
At first, I think he’s going to pull away. My eyes widen as he pulls off the shirt, exposing his perfectly bronzed skin. Scrambling onto my knees, I reach out and trace the muscles of his chest with my fingers. His skin feels like Italian marble that’s been baking under the blazing summer sun all day. Leaning forward, I press my lips lightly to his shoulder and feel a tremor run through him.
I don’t even see him move, but suddenly I’m in his lap, my legs straddling his, my breath coming faster as Ever’s hands skim slowly down my sides. When he pulls me toward him, his bright green eyes are fierce with desire and his jaw is tense.
“Ever?” I gasp.
His lips are on mine again, and it feels like I’m melting into him. Every kiss, every touch sends me spiraling higher until the room begins to shimmer and blur. When he finally pulls away, there’s a rush of coolness, like water cascading over me. Suddenly I see a look of dread wash over Ever’s features before everything goes black.
***
“Will she wake up?” a voice asks conversationally.
I try to swallow, but my throat constricts.
“She already has,” Ever says with a combination of misery and relief.
I feel his hand on mine, and opening my eyes, I try to focus. As my vision clears, I see we’re in Ever’s room at the house in Portland.
“Wren?”
I turn and see his perfect features. Smiling, I try to sit up and feel a familiar pinch in my arm. Ever pulls me up gently until I’m sitting upright. I look over at the needle in my vein and feel a wave of nausea.
“You needed fluids,” he says.
“She did?”
Looking across the room, I see Chasen standing in the corner watching me. Ever hands me a cup of water. Taking a sip, I clear my throat.
“She barely looks human,” Chasen laughs.
“Ever?” I ask turning my attention back to him. “Mind filling me in?”
“Leave,” Ever snaps at Chasen.
“You’re getting as sensitive as these humans,” Chasen counters with amusement. “Wren?”
I look over at Chasen again.
“Welcome to the family,” he grins.
When he disappears, I look down at my left hand, and a spike of adrenaline surges through me. It wasn’t a dream. I’m wearing a ring, an unbelievably beautiful, glowing ring. An engagement ring.
“I was afraid you wouldn’t remember,” Ever says.
I smile crookedly.
“I remember everything … up until things started getting really interesting—wait! What day is it? How much time have I lost?”
“None.
Frowning, I think of what he said earlier about being removed fr
om human reality.
“Wren … I’m sorry.”
I shake my head and squeeze his hand.
“Just tell me what happened.”
He reaches out and touches my cheek softly.
“I thought I was in control. I never anticipated that my physical reaction to you could put you in danger so quickly.”
I blush, remembering very clearly his physical reaction. Ever smiles with a rueful expression.
“Not what you’re thinking,” he says. “My mind opened too quickly, and your body temperature rose just as fast, which led to a dangerous loss of fluid.”
I glance at the nearly empty IV bag containing saline solution.
“I could have killed you,” he says quietly.
Ever reaches over and pulls out the needle in my arm so smoothly that I don’t even feel it. Looking down, I take a deep breath.
“I need to ask you something, because I’ve been putting off this discussion, and obviously I can’t anymore,” I say as I swing my legs over the side of the bed.
When I try standing up, I sway on my feet. Ever steadies me as I look up at him.
“If it weren’t for Victor, would you still want me to become like you?” I ask carefully.
“If it weren’t for Victor, I would change you right now if it meant knowing that I would never lose you.”
I press my lips together and nod, still unsure if I’m prepared to give up my humanity. On the other hand, assuming my choices are infinite possession, dying in my teens, or becoming like Persephone, then I’m going to go with door number three. But that means that I have more questions.
“If I do become like you, does that mean this is all over? We win. No more Victor?”
Ever smiles, his expression sad.
“I only wish it were that easy.”
“But if I become like you, what use am I to him?”
“It is ideal for him to win your allegiance while you are still mortal and you can still be used as a vessel, but if I were to change you now, while the gateway into this dimension is still open, the barrier would remain permeable—and you would be one of only a few true immortals without the need to possess a human body, given that Victor and the others do not have the power to make humans immortal. You would become a powerful ally if he were to join him.”
“And if I die?” I ask carefully.
“Then the gateway from my dimension into yours dies with you … and my existence ceases to have meaning.”
I smile sadly.
“Then, really, you should have killed me the first time you saw me.”
“No. I would continue fighting for an eternity as long as I have your love.”
Ever turns me toward the mirror, and I stare at my reflection, trying to recognize the image staring back at me.
“Am I still human?” I ask softly.
“A bit less so.”
I turn and stare at him.
“Less so? You mean after what happened tonight …”
“Can you see now why I’ve been so careful?”
I blink and slowly put the pieces together.
“So, does that mean if we … Wow. Then I’d be like you—” I snap my fingers “—just like that?”
“There is that chance.”
I shake my head as Ever lays his hand over the crook in my arm, causing the puncture mark from the needle to disappear.
“Wait. So, let me get this straight. If I stay human, then Victor eventually finds some way to ruin my life, or if I get really lucky, I look like my grandma someday while you’re still insanely hot. If we have sex, then I become immortal and the rest of the world gets to deal with Victor for eternity. And if I die, then the portal closes, and everything is peachy for everyone else? Is there a door number four—or should I even ask?”
“Wren, that first day in Gideon’s class, I nearly killed you. However, my ability to control the extent you are exposed to my mind has vastly evolved since then. And after tonight, I understand even better what I must do to shield you.”
I frown.
“How?”
He pauses, and suddenly I’m afraid of the answer.
“It would appear that the more pleasure I experience, the less ability I have to protect you from my mind.”
My frown deepens.
“That doesn’t sound fun for you—”
“I wasn’t finished,” he smiles.
I hold my hand out, gesturing for him to hurry up and spit it out.
“If I focus on what you feel, I have more control.”
“Still not fun for you.”
Ever reaches out and takes my hand. With his other hand, he slowly traces from the center of my palm, continuing along the soft skin of my wrist until my eyes close and I shiver.
“You forget that what you feel, I feel as well. … Trust me. I am beyond impatient for you to feel even more.”
I swallow, my cheeks flushing at the memory of what I just felt on that uninhabited island in the Maldives. Clearing my throat, I try to find my voice.
“But if me dying is the only way to close the portal to your dimension …”
“We will find another way to close the portal,” he says.
The blood drains from my face as I realize that if the gateway between dimensions is sealed, then there really will be no way to bring Alex back from oblivion.
And my guilt will live on forever.
16: Back When Things Were Simple
Lying in bed in the dark, I think over the events of the night as I spin the ring in circles on my left ring finger. Ever’s words echo in my head.
I brought you here tonight because I am selfish and wish never to share you with another being in existence.
Of course, by another being in existence he meant Alex. I struggle to remember a time when things were simple, but I can’t. And maybe it’s because such a thing doesn’t exist. Searching for glimpses of simple or normal, I realize nothing ever was. The closest I can think of is a perfect day on West Street Beach. Closing my eyes, I can almost see it and feel it.
The sky is impossibly blue, the water a shimmering blue-green, crystal clear all the way to the golden sand, which has taken on a bluish tint through the water. Looking down, I see my feet as I stare through the water. The sun above is baking, but the water is cool—perfect—as I dive beneath the surface.
Opening my eyes underwater, I enjoy looking at the world turned blue until a hand grasps mine and pulls me to the surface.
Alex.
He’s whole. No scars, no wounds. He smiles teasingly—the way I remember him best.
“I do enjoy your attire, Ms. Sullivan.”
Looking down, I see my pale exposed skin. All I’m wearing is a skimpy two-piece.
“Did you do this?” I hiss.
He smiles and shrugs lazily in the way that made me hate him—and love him.
“Your dream, remember?”
“Yeah? Well, I’m not the one who keeps choosing bikinis!”
“Maybe your subconscious is,” dream-Alex muses. “After all, your subconscious keeps choosing me.”
“No, it doesn’t it!”
He pulls me out of the water and gestures around.
“It doesn’t? Then why does it keep bringing you here?”
I look down. To my horror, he’s right. And suddenly reality collides with my dream.
“Alex … I told him yes,” I whisper. “I said I would marry him.”
When I look at him again, he’s … bleeding.
“You’ve wounded me deeper than you can know, my love,” he whispers as he sinks down to his knees on the warm sand.
I drop down in front of him, and only then do I realize that I’m holding a blade in my hand.
“Did I do this?” I cry.
I wake up in a cold sweat and stare around my dark bedroom. Alex. He is going to haunt me. And my guilt is going to stab at me like a splinter I can’t remove—unless I bring him back. Flicking on the lamp on my nightstand, I flinch when I see a long silve
r-colored box with a white envelope lying on top of it. My name is scrawled on the paper in perfect penmanship that isn’t Ever’s. With shaking hands, I reach for it and remove the blank, white card. I open it.
Wren,
I wish I could do more. However, under the circumstances, this shall have to suffice. Think of it as your birthday present. You have until midnight; you’ll know where to go. Just remember, you will see our world through human eyes. There will be one waiting to help you navigate the journey. Avoid the darkness at all costs, or you may never return from it.
If you succeed in saving the traitor, come back to Ever, or my brother will be the one who never forgives me.
Audra
Dropping the card, I look around wildly until my eyes catch on the glowing numerals of my alarm clock.
11:58
I have less than two minutes to decide if I want to risk my life and also betray Ever so deeply that there may be no coming back. Then I realize: I have no choice. I can’t leave Alex in eternal torment. Reaching for the box on the nightstand, I lift the lid and stare down at the blade. I recognize it instantly. Both Ever and Alex carried similar weapons. My pulse hammers in my ears. My training with Audra never made it to the point of actual combat. I can deflect her attacks, but the thought of actively trying to stay alive in a world that I can’t even imagine against an enemy I barely understand is another thing entirely.
In other words, I’m in trouble.
Jumping out of bed, I pick up the blade and see a belt with a sheath. Thank you, Audra, I think grimly as I cinch the belt around my waist and stare down at my outfit. White T-shirt and short, pink pajama shorts. Not exactly the outfit of a superhero, but whatever.
Taking off the ring Ever just gave me, I set it carefully on the nightstand before unclasping the infinity pendant I’ve worn for more than a year. Guilt stings me, but I ignore it as I fling open my door and race barefoot down the hall. I walk the last few feet to my mom’s room and push open the door. I watch her breaths rising and falling peacefully.
The last time I did this—cast myself into darkness with no promise of survival—I had time to say goodbye. Now, I don’t even have that luxury. Wiping away my tears, I walk quickly back to the mirror and stare at my reflection before closing my eyes and willing the inky blackness to appear. When I open my eyes again, I smile into the abyss.