The Cowboy's Christmas Family

by Donna Alward

They went to the mudroom next and he opened a closet to reveal a vacuum cleaner and broom and dustpan. “For the floors. The big freezer is out here, too, if you start supper or anything and are looking for stuff.”

  They ventured back into the kitchen. To Cole’s surprise, the boys were stacking up soft blocks on the floor of the playpen and then knocking them over, giggling. It took no time at all to give her the rundown of the cupboards. “I’d better go and get out of your way, then,” he added, feeling suddenly awkward. He couldn’t help but notice she’d worn a soft hoodie in dark green, a color that set off her fair skin and blue eyes. And Maddy Wallace looked damned fine in a pair of dark-wash jeans, too. He had the sudden thought that she’d be very nice to cuddle up to...

  “Hey, are you okay?” Her voice interrupted him. “You just kind of drifted off there for a sec.”

  Could he feel more foolish? He remembered his mom’s words a few days before they left, when he’d mentioned Maddy’s name. She’d actually discouraged him from any romantic notions where Maddy was concerned. And after speaking to Maddy yesterday, he knew for sure that she was still hurting from the events of the last year. He had no business thinking about being near her in any way other than being a good neighbor.

  “I’m fine. Sorry.”

  “It’s no problem. Will you and Tanner be in for lunch?”

  She was all business, and he should be glad, but he was a little annoyed. Clearly she wasn’t as distracted by him as he was by her.

  “Yes, around noon or a little after. But we can get ourselves something to eat.”

  “Let’s just see how it goes.” She smiled at him. “I’ll be fine, Cole. I’m going to start some laundry before the boys start demanding attention, and I think I’ll run the vacuum over the floors and get some cooking started.”

  “Right.” It was what he’d hired her to do, but he had to admit it felt strange, having her and her babies in the middle of the normally quiet house. And not strange in a bad way, necessarily. Just very, very different.

  While she traded toys for the boys in the playpen, Cole went to the mudroom and put on his jacket and boots. He had his hand on the doorknob when she appeared, heading straight for the two laundry hampers standing in front of the dryer.

  She laughed. “Seriously, Cole. I can run a washing machine.”

  He shook his head. “Sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. Of course you can. I’ll see you in a few hours. I’ll be at the barn if you need anything.”

  “If you keep talking, you’ll be here until lunch. And I won’t get any work done.”

  He swallowed against the lump in his throat, annoyed with the route his thoughts had taken. That wasn’t what this was about. It was helping someone who needed a hand. Nothing more.

  He stomped outside and shut the door behind him, then hurried through the snow to the barn. Maybe the fresh air would get his head right. In any case, he’d better get himself together for when he went back to the house at noon.

  * * *

  MADDY BREATHED A sigh of relief as Cole left the house. She could see him walking to the barn, his hands shoved in his jacket pockets and his shoulders hunched against the cold. He’d lingered this morning, and she wasn’t sure what for, but there’d been a moment in the kitchen when his eyes had gone all soft and dazed and little alarm bells had gone off in her head.

  Cole was a nice guy. He was giving her a helping hand and she appreciated it. But oh, my, she was so not in a place for romance. She hoped that wasn’t what he had on his mind. She had her hands full enough just trying to keep her life together.

  It didn’t help that he was so flipping handsome, either. Stupid dark hair that set off his stupid blue eyes so that a girl couldn’t think straight. Well, she was smarter than that now, and her only reason for being here was to make a little extra Christmas cash to give her sons a special holiday.

  Speaking of, she needed to get that load of laundry in the washer if she was going to get two loads done in the time she had left.

  By the time she’d sorted the clothes and gotten the washer started, the boys were getting bored. She took them out of the playpen, and then moved the bulky structure to the stairs, blocking them from doing any climbing—and falling. Then she turned on the television and found the station and programs that they liked. Even at barely over a year old, the sounds and colors were intriguing and Maddy laughed to herself as Liam bobbed on his knees a bit, out of time to the music but dancing, anyway. Luke took one look at his brother and joined in with a big toothy smile.

  “Please, stay this good,” she breathed as she spread out a blanket and added toys, making it a play mat in the middle of the living room.

  In deference to Cole’s professed sweet tooth, she wanted to bake something for them to have on hand, and she figured a cake was as fast as anything. It didn’t take long to find a recipe book and the ingredients in Ellen’s tidy cupboards, and while the boys played and sang away to the program on TV, she whipped up a chocolate cake and had it in the oven. A quick trip to the mudroom showed the laundry on the spin cycle, so she searched the freezer and took out a ham and put it in a slow cooker to bake for the afternoon. By the time she’d changed laundry over, the boys needed diaper changes and then a snack. The cake came out of the oven and she put it to cool, then sat with the boys for a few minutes and read them three stories, including their favorite, Mole in a Hole, twice.

  After settling them again with a Thomas the Tank Engine DVD, she built a casserole of scalloped potatoes, which she put in the oven to bake, and prepared a pot of carrots that Cole and Tanner could simply turn on and cook. She put the second load of laundry in the dryer, made frosting for the cake and checked her watch. It was nearly noon. Where had the morning gone?

  She fixed a plate of sandwiches and put it on the table, along with sliced pickles and a pitcher of water. Coffee was brewing and she was doing the dishes when she heard the mudroom door open and boots stomping on the mat.

  The boys paused in their playing and looked at her as if to say, “What’s that noise?”

  Tanner came in first. Maddy hadn’t seen Tanner in some time, but he looked the same as ever. A bit slighter than Cole, and a bit younger, with crinkles at the corners of his eyes that spoke of a devilish nature. He’d been a bit of a hellion in his younger years, though Maddy hadn’t heard anything remarkable about him lately. Cole followed behind, tall, steady, a grown-up, serious version of his brother. Where Tanner’s eyes had an impish gleam, Cole’s held a certain warmth and steadfastness. Luke wobbled to his feet, tottered over to Tanner and lifted his arms. “Bup! Bup!”

  Maddy laughed, and Cole spoke up. “Tanner, meet Luke.”

  “You got it right!” she praised. “You’re a quick study.”

  Tanner reached down and picked up Luke, unfazed by the sight of kids in his home. “Hey, there.” He settled the boy on his arm and looked at Maddy. “Nice to see you. Let me guess, this is your extrovert?”

  She nodded. “Liam’s my serious one.” A quick glance showed Liam holding back, his eyes troubled. “He’s more...reserved.”

  “Sounds like Cole and me,” Tanner observed. “Here, partner. I’m gonna put you down now. Looks like your mama made lunch, and I need to wash up.”

  “Me, too,” Cole said, a strange look on his face.

  “Mum mum mum mum,” Liam hummed after the men had gone to wash up. “Unh.”

  Maddy was looking forward to actual words. As it was she had to translate, and she knew what Liam wanted—his share of the attention, and something to eat. With a sigh, she put him on her hip, then dug in the diaper bag for a few small covered dishes. When Cole and Tanner returned, she was sitting at one end of the table, a boy on each knee, with a dazzling array of Cheerios, tiny cheese cubes and banana scattered on the surface.

  She raised an eyebrow at Cole. “Now you see w
hy I leave vacuuming for last.”

  He smiled warmly. “They’ll learn table manners in time.”

  “I know. But I’m about to wear a fair bit of that banana. Those cute little hands will have it smeared all over my shirt in seconds.”

  Tanner took a chair. “This is great, Maddy. Thanks for making lunch.”

  “I hope it’s okay. I wasn’t sure how big a meal you ate at noon.”

  “This is fine,” Cole said, reaching for a sandwich. “It’s usually something like this, or some leftovers or something.” He looked over at the counter. “Is that cake?”

  “Yes, chocolate, with peanut butter frosting. For your sweet tooth.” She smiled a little, teasing him.

  “I should never have told you that.”

  “Well, you did. So now I know how to get around you. Just keep you flush with baked goods.”

  He pointed his sandwich at her. “You think it’s that easy?”

  They were openly teasing now, and she realized Tanner was looking from his brother to her and back again. Luke patted his hand against a beautifully soft circle of banana and Liam shoved three Cheerios awkwardly into his mouth.

  Her smile faded a bit. “I’m not going to incriminate myself by answering that question. You are my boss, after all.”

  Tanner chuckled and reached for a few pickle slices. “Nice one.”

  The meal continued, but Maddy got the feeling Cole was put out about something. He didn’t say much and there was a stubborn set to his mouth she hadn’t seen before.

  “I take it you boys can handle cooking some carrots tonight? I have a ham in the slow cooker, and scalloped potatoes in the oven. All you need to do is heat up the potatoes and boil the carrots and you’re done.”

  “Ham and potatoes? Damn, that sounds good.” Tanner leaned back in his chair and stretched. “I’m going out, but I might just have to eat before I go if that’s on the menu.”

  Same old Tanner. She looked over at Cole. He’d finished his meal and was wiping his fingers on a paper napkin. “Thank you, Maddy. That sounds terrific.”

  “You’re welcome. I wasn’t sure what clothes belonged to whom, so everything is folded and in the laundry basket. You and Tanner can sort it out.”

  “Sounds good.”

  Luke started to squirm on her knee while Liam still methodically ate Cheerios. Maddy realized she’d left hand wipes in the bag, and when she reached for a paper napkin to clean Luke’s hands, all she did was smear the stickiness around.

  Without a word, Cole got up, opened a drawer, took out a cloth and wet it at the sink.

  “Here,” he said quietly, handing it over.

  She took it gratefully, surprised that she hadn’t even had to ask. In a few quick movements she’d wiped both of Luke’s hands and his face and put him down on the floor. He went into the living room, his tottering gait so typical of a child new to walking, and grabbed a stuffed cow that mooed when he shook it up and down. Which he did. Several times.

  “Ooo. Ooo.” Liam’s attention was shot now, so she wiped him off and let him go, too.

  Tanner got up from the table and took his plate to the dishwasher. “Hey, Cole, I’m going to run that errand we talked about earlier.”

  “Sounds good. I’ll see you back here later.”

  “Thanks for lunch, Maddy.” Tanner smiled and headed for the mudroom. “’Bye, boys,” he called cheerfully.

  “Tanner hasn’t changed a bit, has he?”

  Cole shook his head, a sheepish smile on his face. “Not much. Though he tends to be a little more discreet than he used to be. Thank the Lord for that.”

  Maddy had heard stories of how Tanner had gotten married in Vegas when he was younger, and that the marriage had only lasted a few days. But she wouldn’t ask about that and she wouldn’t judge. She knew how it felt to be on the receiving end of that sort of talk.

  “He’s just a bit reckless, that’s all. But he’s still young. Hell, he’s only twenty-five.”

  She smiled. “And your thirty-three is so old.”

  “Older than your thirty-one.”

  A squeal and cry erupted from the living room and Maddy got up to sort it out. By the time she’d returned, Cole had cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher—including wiping the mess her sons had made on the kitchen table.

  “That’s supposed to be my job,” she said.

  “Whatever. It’s nearly time for you to be off the clock, anyway.”

  “The boys have been really good,” she said, turning back to the remaining bowls in the dishwater she’d left. It had cooled, but there was still hot water in the kettle and she added it to the sink. “They’re going to get tired soon. One o’clock is a good quitting time.”

  He picked up a towel and started to dry the last of the dishes.

  “Cole, I know you want to get back to work. Really, I’ve got this. You’re set for today and I’ll be back day after tomorrow. There should be ham left that you can have for tomorrow’s dinner.”

  “Do you have to be so, I don’t know, businesslike?”

  There was an edge of irritation to his voice that surprised her. “Isn’t that what I’m here for?”

  He huffed out a breath. “It just feels weird.” His gaze caught hers and the intensity of it made her catch her breath.

  “If you didn’t want me to work for you, you shouldn’t have offered me the job.”

  He opened his mouth to say something, but then shut it again, as if he thought better of it. She narrowed her eyes. “What were you going to say just now?”

  “Nothing. It’s not important.”

  “Okay, then.” The kids were tuning up again, starting to fuss as nap time neared. “I really want to run the vacuum over the floors, Cole. I’ll see you Friday. Okay?”

  But his eyes didn’t let her go. They held her, tethered there, for long seconds while the boys played with toys, a whiny undertone to their chatter. For the briefest of moments he dropped his gaze to her lips and back up again. But it was long enough for heat to rise to her cheeks. The last thing she wanted to do was be bashful, to acknowledge such a small thing could affect her in any way. So she lifted her chin just a little and kept her shoulders straight.

  Unless she was imagining things, there was a new light of respect in his eyes.

  “I’ll see you Friday,” he said, stepping back and giving her a nod.

  “Yes, and at the tree lighting, too,” she added. “That’s Friday night.”

  “Right.”

  And still he didn’t leave...until the silence grew awkward.

  “Well, ’bye.” He smiled, a little uncertainly, and then went to the boys and knelt down. “’Bye, boys,” he said. He held up a hand and Luke rushed forward and gave him a sloppy high five. Liam hung back and stared.

  Cole looked over his shoulder at her. “He’s going to be a tough one to win over.”

  And then finally, blessedly, he was gone to the mudroom. Maddy let out a breath and counted to ten, then busied herself around the kitchen and living room, picking up as much as she could so that they’d be ready to go once the floors were done. Once she heard the door slam behind Cole, she ventured into the mudroom and got the vacuum from the closet. She sat the boys on the sofa, and they were just tired enough they stayed put for the ten minutes it took her to finish tidying and put the vacuum away.

  Then there were snowsuits and boots to put on and mittens and the trip to the car to fasten them inside and by the time Maddy was on the road back home she was exhausted. She really should do some baking for Sunday’s coffee break after church, but she thought she just might have a nap instead when the boys were asleep. The idea sounded decadent and very, very lovely.

  Instead the boys fussed and resisted being put down until, worn-out, they finally collapsed, sprawled on her b
ed so there was no room for her. She covered them with a blanket, then tiptoed down to the sofa to try to settle her frayed nerves. She was just drifting off, in a hazy half-conscious state and thinking about Cole’s finely shaped lips, when the phone rang. And rang, and rang because she couldn’t find the handset to the cordless. It went to her voice mail, but not before Liam woke up and started crying.

  At that point Maddy felt a bit like crying herself.

  She was just so completely overwhelmed. With everything. With handling it all on her own. Yes, she was still so incredibly angry and hurt by Gavin’s deception. But most of all she missed him. After all he’d done, she still missed him, and his smile, and the way he’d take one of the boys and share the load with the kids and step in and cook dinner if she’d had a crazy day. Maybe his betrayal hurt all the more because in so many ways she’d thought they’d had a strong marriage. A partnership.

  She missed his help, missed having someone to talk to at the end of the day, missed having someone to tuck her against his side in bed at night and make her feel secure and safe and not so damned alone. Even though things had been strained during the final months of their marriage, she’d thought they’d work through it. She’d thought it was just the adjustment to having twins and being parents and not having as much time for each other.

  Tears were streaming down her face as she went to get Liam, who was snuffling and wiping his eyes with a fist. She took him downstairs so Luke could still sleep, and put him down before she sank into the couch cushions.

  He was a year old, couldn’t speak, didn’t understand a bit of why she was upset. But at that moment, he patted her on her knee, lifted his arms for up, and when she picked him up and held him in her arms, he didn’t fuss. He just snuggled in against her chest, tucked his face against the warm curve of her neck and put his pudgy little hand on her cheek.

  “I love you, little man,” she said softly, sinking back into the corner of the sofa and folding her legs yoga-style. She turned her head a little and kissed his soft hair, and he patted her cheek with his fingers, a move she knew he found consoling. Like a constant reassurance that she was there. Not going anywhere.