Slocum and the Bad-News Brothers

by Jake Logan

  “All right then. Couple of you other boys go out and saddle up four fresh horses. It’s about time they got going. Get on now and do it.”

  Two of the Beamer boys got up and, stuffing their mouths first, headed for the door. In a few more minutes, they returned. “The horses is ready, Maw,” one of them said. Brace stood up. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

  “All right, boys,” he said, “let’s go do some killing.”

  Brace, Hump, Harman, and Hiram all headed for the door, but not before Maw gave Brace another tight hug and kissed him on the lips. “You boys be real careful,” she said. “I don’t want none of you getting hurt, and I don’t want my baby boy back in no jail, neither. Hear?”

  “Don’t worry, Maw,” said Hump. “I’ll watch out for them.”

  They left the house, mounted up, and moved out into the road. Then they turned toward the Tipton spread. It was a ride of a couple of hours, and they figured they’d get there just before sunup. That would give them time to hide their horses and find good spots for themselves to snug down in and hide till they saw Tipton and Slocum come riding out on their way to town.

  “I can’t wait to kill me that Slocum,” said Brace. “My damn head still hurts.”

  “Don’t go getting too anxious now,” said Hump. “You be sure of your shot before you take it. Getting overanxious is what put you in jail in the first place.”

  “Aw, hell, I was just drunked up then is all. They didn’t have no business putting me on trial for that. Wasn’t no one hurt. No one ’cept just me is all. I got hurt and they put me on trial. Can you believe that?”

  Harman sniggered at that.

  “What’s so damn funny?” snapped Brace. “It’s the truth. Hell, ole Ghost even said it in court. He wouldn’t say nothing in court ’less it was true, would he, Hump? Would he?”

  “No, hell, I reckon not. But you mind what I say. Be damn sure of your shot before you take it.”

  “I will. You don’t have to worry about me none. The only thing is, I don’t want him to die right off. I’d like to wing him real good where he can’t shoot, and then walk over to him and let him get a good look at me. I want him to know who done it, and I want him to suffer some in the dying.”

  “You ain’t going to have that kind of choice, little brother,” said Hump. “Now you do what I say. When you see that Slocum come riding out onto the road, you drop him dead with one shot. If you ain’t going to do that, you best turn around right now and get your ass back home. Slocum’s a gunfighter and a damned good one. Don’t forget, he took Billy and Ike all by hisself, facing them straight on. You got to show respect for that kind of a gunfighter.”

  “Show respect?” said Brace.

  “Yeah. Shoot from ambush and shoot to kill.”

  Hump dropped back a little on purpose, allowing Brace to ride ahead. He managed to get himself alongside Harman. He rode along like that for a ways. Then he leaned over toward Harman and spoke low.

  “Harman, if Brace shoots Slocum and don’t kill him, you shoot to kill. You got that? You shoot Slocum second and shoot fast.”

  “I got you,” said Harman.

  They reached the Tipton ranch and turned into the trees and brush across the road. The trees were too thick to ride through with any degree of comfort, so Hump dismounted, and the others followed his lead. Taking his horse by the reins, Hump moved far back away from the road. At last he stopped.

  “We’ll tie them up here,” he said, and they all did. Then Hump led the way back toward the road. He personally selected spots for each of the other three, spots where they could get down and hide and still have a good view and a good shot of the main gate to and from the Tipton ranch. Then he found his own place and settled in. He checked his weapons and then looked back at the gate. It was about an hour before they saw any sign of life. A lone rider came toward the gate from the direction of the ranch house. When he at last arrived at the gate and turned onto the road, Hump recognized the foreman of the Tipton ranch, Lige Phillips. He casually wondered what Phillips was doing heading into town so early and by himself, but he relaxed. It wasn’t Phillips he was after. Suddenly a shot rang out and Phillips jerked in the saddle. Then a second shot sounded. Phillips jerked again. Hump stood up quickly and looked toward where Brace and Harman were secreted. Both men were standing up, firing their rifles. Phillips was hit four or five times before he fell from the saddle.

  “Goddamn it,” shouted Hump. “That ain’t who we wanted.”

  “Hell,” said Brace, “he was one of them.”

  “Let’s get the hell out of here,” said Hump. “Our secret’s out now for sure.”

  7

  “Well, Slocum,” said Tipton as he mounted up in front of the house, “we’ll find out what kind of justice we get in Breakneck these days.”

  “They sure ought to give ole Brace some jail time at least,” said Slocum. He was already in the saddle, and he waited for Tipton to turn his horse and head for the main gate. The two men headed on toward the road.

  “They’re bound to give him something,” said Tipton. “I’m just worried about whether it’ll be enough.”

  “We’ll find out soon,” said Slocum.

  They rode on in silence, and when they came close to the gate, Tipton reined in his horse and stared ahead.

  “What is it?” said Slocum.

  “Up there ahead in the road,” said Tipton. “It’s a ri derless horse just standing there.”

  “Come on,” said Slocum, kicking the Appaloosa in the sides.

  “Hold it,” Tipton shouted. “It might be a trick.”

  Slocum slowed his horse’s gait, but he moved on toward the road and the horse that was just standing there. Tipton moved along behind him.

  “Hey,” he called out, “that’s one of mine.”

  Slocum slipped the Colt out of its holster and moved ahead cautiously. At the gate he stopped and dismounted, looking around carefully as he did so. Tipton pulled up beside him and looked at the body lying in the road.

  “My God, Slocum,” he said, “it’s Lige.”

  “Stay where you are, Carl,” Slocum said. He walked over to the body and checked it. Then he looked up again. “He’s dead, Carl. Shot full of holes.”

  “Goddamn it.”

  Slocum looked around on the other side of the road until he was satisfied that no one was yet lurking there. Then he went back to the body. He looked over at Tipton.

  “What do you want to do with him?” he asked.

  “Let’s load him up and take him back to the house,” Tipton said. “Then we’ll go on into town and tell Seth what happened. Go on to court after that.”

  Slocum caught the loose horse, and they loaded Lige’s body across the saddle. Then they rode back to the ranch house. They laid Lige out on the porch and covered him. Tipton saw Randy Self over by the corral and called out to him. Randy came over to the porch and saw what had happened. Tipton told him to let all the hands know about it. “We’ll have the burying this evening,” he said. Then he and Slocum mounted up again and headed on for town.

  They stopped by the sheriff’s office and found the door standing open. Walking inside, they saw the cell door also standing wide open. There was no one around.

  “Maybe Seth’s already taken Brace over to the Hogneck,” Tipton said. “Let’s get on over there.”

  They climbed back into their saddles and turned their mounts toward the saloon. Along the way, they saw the judge walking down the sidewalk away from the Hogneck. Tipton turned his horse and rode close to the sidewalk.

  “Aubrey,” he said.

  The judge stopped walking and looked up toward Tipton.

  “Hello, Carl,” he said. “Have you heard the news?”

  “What news is that?”

  “Someone broke into the jailhouse last night and busted Brace Beamer loose. They shot Seth. Looks like we won’t have a sentencing today.”

  “The Beamers,” said Tipton.

  “Well, now, we
don’t know that for sure,” said Aubrey. “It sure does look bad for them, but we got to investigate.”

  “Who’s going to investigate?” Tipton asked. “We got no law. How bad is Seth hit?”

  “Well, the last I heard, he was still alive, but just barely. He hasn’t been able to talk to anyone yet.”

  “Aubrey, someone laid an ambush out at my place this morning early. They killed Lige as he was riding out. Me and Slocum found him in the road. The Beamers have declared war. That’s clear.”

  “Killed Lige, huh? That’s too bad. Lige was a good man.”

  “Aubrey, let’s go have a drink,” Tipton said.

  The judge turned around on the sidewalk and headed back for the Hogneck. Tipton and Slocum rode their mounts that way. When they arrived, they dismounted and tied their horses to the rail. Then they walked inside with the judge and found a table, Tipton calling for a bottle and three glasses along the way. In a couple of minutes, Goosey brought the glasses and the bottle, and Tipton poured drinks all around.

  “We got a serious situation here, Aubrey,” he said.

  “I’ve written for a U.S. marshal to come out here,” said the judge.

  “We can’t wait for that,” Tipton said. “The Beamers has come out in the open. They shot up our sheriff, broke their worthless brother out of jail, and ambushed my foreman. What will they do next? I’d say they’ll attack me at my ranch. They’re getting bold, Aubrey. I tell you, they’re getting bold.”

  “If they’ve done all that, Carl,” said Aubrey, “they’re plenty brazen all right. But we can’t go riding after a whole family on speculation. We’ve got laws, and—”

  “But we got no one around here to enforce the laws. We got no choice, Aubrey. We got to take the law into our own hands.”

  “I can’t allow that, Carl. Wait for the response to my letter. We’ll have law out here again. Just be a little patient. Please.”

  Tipton looked over at Slocum in frustration. Slocum just shrugged. He wasn’t about to voice an opinion to the face of a judge. They finished their drinks and Tipton paid. As they walked out of the saloon, Tipton was grumbling. They were moving toward the horses when Slocum put out a hand to stop Tipton. Tipton looked up to see Harman Beamer standing on the sidewalk.

  “Howdy there, Mr. Tipton,” said Harman. “And you, Slocum. I figured you two would come in here thinking to see my brother get his ass sent up. Funny thing about that. He got out of jail last night I heared.”

  “I expect you did more than just hear about it,” said Tipton.

  Further down the sidewalk, the judge overheard, and he stopped and turned around to watch and to listen.

  “Try to prove that,” said Harman.

  Slocum stepped in front of Tipton. “What are you called?” he said.

  “I’m Harman Beamer.”

  “Oh, yeah,” said Slocum. “I’ve heard of you.”

  “What’ve you heared?”

  “I’ve heard that you’re a yellow-bellied, back-shooting chicken shit.”

  Harman went for his gun fast, and Slocum allowed him to get off two wild shots before he squeezed off one that ripped into Harman’s face just under the nose and tore on up through his brain. Harman’s head bounced grotesquely as blood spurted in front and behind. The body wobbled on its feet, then pitched forward to lay still. Slocum holstered his Colt just as the judge walked up beside Tipton.

  “Did you see what happened?” said Tipton.

  “I saw it,” said the judge.

  “Is there any reason for us to hang around here?”

  “None that I know of. Beamer shot first.”

  “Twice,” said Tipton.

  “Yeah.”

  “Slocum,” said Tipton, “let’s get back to the ranch.”

  “Whatever you say,” Slocum said.

  They headed for the horses just as the girl from the Hogneck stepped out onto the sidewalk and smiled. “I haven’t seen you for awhile, Carl,” she said. “Why don’t you come up and see me?”

  Old Tipton blushed and looked down at the sidewalk. Slocum acted as if he didn’t hear anything.

  “Well, Bonita,” said Tipton, “I’ve been pretty busy, you know.”

  “I’ve heard some stuff,” she said. “I think you need to relax some. Come on.”

  “Slocum—” said Tipton.

  “I’ll just be hanging around,” said Slocum. “Take your time.”

  Tipton walked over to the door of the Hogneck where Bonita was lurking. As he approached, she took him by the arm, and they disappeared inside. Slocum did not really want to go in and get a drink. It was too early. He wondered about leaving the old man unprotected though, so he stepped inside long enough to watch the two of them disappear up the stairs. He walked over to the bar where Goosey was busy trying to look busy.

  “Is there anyone else in the place?” he asked.

  “Nary a soul,” Goosey said.

  “Thanks.” Slocum walked back outside and looked across the street toward Harmony’s place. Some cowboy came walking out gouging at his teeth with a toothpick. Slocum strolled on over and walked in. The place was empty of customers and probably would be until nearly lunchtime. He stepped up to the counter and waited. In a moment, Harmony appeared.

  “Well, hello, cowboy,” she said. “What can I get for you?”

  “How about two cups of coffee?” Slocum said.

  “Two cups?”

  “I was kind of hoping you might sit down with me,” he said.

  She smiled back at him and went for two cups. She took the two cups and the coffeepot and walked to a table where she poured the cups full, set down the pot and looked at Slocum. He pulled out a chair for her, and she sat down. Then he moved around and took a chair for himself.

  “Thank you,” he said. “I don’t much care for sitting alone.”

  “It’s a pleasure,” she said. “So you’re working for old Carl?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he said.

  “From what I’ve been hearing, you’re not a regular cowhand.”

  “Well, not exactly.”

  “More like a bodyguard.”

  “I guess you could call it that.”

  “And a pretty effective one, too, from what I’ve heard.”

  “It sounds like there’s a lot of talk going on,” Slocum said.

  Harmony shrugged. “There’s been a bit,” she said. “Why aren’t you watching out for him now?”

  “There was just one Beamer in town,” Slocum said. “He’s not a problem anymore.”

  “That shot I heard—”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “I see. So where did Carl go?”

  “Well, I don’t know if I should be telling tales,” said Slocum, “but the last I saw of him, he was headed up the stairs at the Hogneck in the company of a gal they call Bonita.”

  He looked at Harmony to see how she would react. She looked right into Slocum’s eyes and smiled. “I see,” she said. “He may be old, but he’s not dead.”

  They both laughed a little at that. Slocum drank the last of his coffee, and Harmony refilled the cup.

  “Thanks,” he said.

  An old couple walked in just then. “Excuse me,” Harmony said, and she got up to go see what they wanted. Slocum sat sipping his coffee and watched her move. Yes, he thought, she was really something.

  Across the street and upstairs in the Hogneck, Bonita and old Tipton sat on the edge of the bed in one of the private rooms. She put an arm around his shoulders and kissed him on the cheek.

  “I don’t know what you see in an old fart like me,” he said. “It must be my money.”

  “Darling,” she said, “I won’t even charge you.”

  He turned to look into her face, and she kissed him full on the lips. While the kiss lingered, her right hand went down to his crotch, and she felt a rise there. Letting go of the kiss, she said, “Um, Carl, you ain’t so old.”

  “I’m feeling younger every minute,” he said.

 
She laid him back on the bed and pulled off his boots. Then she straightened up and began to strip. Tipton watched her every move with a smile on his face. She soon tossed aside the final item of clothing and put one knee on the bed. She started to undress Tipton, taking her time, stroking and fondling each part of his body as she uncovered it. Tipton moaned with pleasure. Soon she had him naked, too, and she crawled into the bed and on top of his body. She kissed him again, and then reached down with both hands underneath her own body to find his stiff rod and fondle it.

  At last, she moved the head of his cock to the waiting, wet slit between her legs. She rubbed it back and forth a few times before she slid it into place. “Ohh,” she moaned, sitting up straight. Then she slid her hips back and forth slowly groaning with the pleasure and smiling down at old Carl Tipton as she did so. Carl put a hand on each of her thighs and stroked them as she rode him. At last, she began to move faster and faster, and Carl’s moans grew louder and came faster, until he suddenly burst forth in one gush after another. When he was finally done, Bonita rode him for a few more strokes. Then with a loud sigh, she relaxed and fell forward to kiss him passionately.

  At last, she rolled over to lay beside him. “You’re wonderful, Carl,” she said.

  “You’re pretty damn good yourself,” he said. “You sure do know how to take care of an old—”

  “Don’t even say it,” she said. “Carl, you’re a robust man in the prime of your life. I never had better.”

  “It’s good of you to say that.”

  “I mean it.”

  She turned to face him and kissed him again. Tipton turned and sat up. “Bonnie,” he said, “I wish I could just stay here with you, but I’ve really got to get going. The way things are right now—”

  “I understand, Carl. You don’t have to explain anything. But don’t stay away so long this time.”

  He turned his head to give her another kiss. “I’ll try to get back real soon,” he said. He stood up to get dressed, and so did she. When Tipton pulled on his boots, he stood again and reached into his pocket.

  “Carl,” she said, “I told you I wouldn’t charge you, and I meant it.”