Maggie's Refrain

by Marcia Ware

  Elise looked upon her son with a mixture of pity and sadness. Joe raised his head and met her gaze as the gravity of his mistake gained greater clarity.

  “Aw man,” he said sadly. “I cannot be that guy, Ma.”

  “I didn’t raise you to be that guy, son.”

  “So, you’re saying you don’t have a problem with me dating someone outside my race?”

  “Not really. More to the point, I don’t have a problem with you dating her,” Elise said. “She’s a keeper. I’ve always considered Maggie to be family. She gives an incredible amount of love-to me, to you, to that brood of yours. In my opinion, she was always more of a sister to Grace when she was alive then that tall drink of West Coast water sleeping upstairs.

  “You don’t care for Sissy very much, do you?” Joe said in a low tone.

  “You picked up on that, huh?”

  “You’re about as opaque as cellophane, old woman. But I thank you for at least being polite when she’s around.”

  “Well, I’m sorry,” Elise protested. “I try to be nice, but I can’t help it. She’s just so kissy-uppy, and drippy…”

  Joe tried to hide his amusement at his mother’s frankness. “Kissy-uppy? Drippy?” he asked.

  “Her parents are fine…her dad’s salt of the earth; her mom’s a real peach, but the way that girl dotes and hangs on you…tries to suck up to me…it’s just so obvious that she wants to get into your...”

  “Ma!” Joe whispered loudly.

  “Life!” she interjected. “I was gonna say Life!”

  Joe laughed in relief. “Well, it’s been good to have Sissy here in town. She’s been a true savior at certain points.”

  “Just watch your back, son,” she said. “I don’t get a real genuine feeling from her.”

  “Yes ma’am,” he responded.

  Silence prevailed for the next few moments until Joe finally found the courage to reveal the final piece of the puzzle.

  “I kissed her, Ma…”

  “What?” Elise asked, terrified that he was referring to Sissy.

  “I kissed Maggie.”

  Relieved, Elise turned to face her son. “Oh my,” was all she could say. After a few moments’ reflection, she said, “Define kiss…you know, on a scale of one to ten.”

  “Fifteen.”

  “Wow. That’s something. Did you get to second?”

  “Ma…”

  “I’m sorry, I’m teasing. Okay, so…go on. Do you have a sense of what’s going in her head?

  Joe sighed. “That’s hard to say. Last night, she high tailed it out of here. But then when I saw her the next day at her recording session, she seemed genuinely happy to see me.”

  “Is this the part where you really messed it up?”

  Joe’s mouth pursed as he cleared his throat. “Yes, that’s when things went sour.”

  “How did you leave it?”

  “Well, I started off by saying something stupid. Then I said something else stupid. Then she basically ripped me a new one.”

  “Maggie told you off? I’m impressed. She’s more of a pistol than I thought.”

  “Mother…”

  Elise reached out and touched her son on the knee. “Sorry, sweetheart. I know this is hurting you. Finish what you were saying.”

  “The thing is, I know her - Maggie doesn’t know how to be merciless. But she was that day. And even though I deserved it, what she said to me broke her heart as badly as I did.”

  In the tones of his voice, Elise clearly felt her son’s pain. She took his hand. “Well. I will say this - maybe it was good that you two parted company for a while. Things sounded like they were snowballing emotionally. Always good to step back and reassess. I think it’ll help you get the clearer picture that you need. But if you can get your act together and get your heads and your hearts on straight, what you two have already established will put you well on your way to creating something really special. Because if you ask me, every one of those attributes you described for Maggie’s perfect man,” she reached up and took his face in her aged hands, “sounds exactly like the beautiful boy that I gave birth to four and a half decades ago.”

  “I’m 42.”

  “Whatever. Now can I say something that just won’t leave my mind?”

  “You’re asking permission to express yourself? Are you feeling alright?”

  “Hush up and listen to your mother,” she said. “Here’s what I think. There’s something to be said for your apprehension over the racial differences between you and Maggie. But what’s really got you up this early is the notion that you’re actually considering moving on with your life. More specifically, with your love life.”

  Once again, Joe was astounded. He was unsure of how to respond, because he knew that, as usual, she was probably right.

  “Wow,” was all he could manage to say.

  Elise’s face took on a look of sheer pride. “I know. I’m a genius, aren’t I? I really wish you’d get it through that thick, uncut mane of yours that I know everything.”

  Joe chuckled and grimaced at the same time as Elise continued.

  “Sweet Grace has been gone for nearly two years now…and in that time, I’ve seen you fall apart, put it back together and give your all for the sake of your family. Maggie was there with you every step of the way, pulling you out of a pit that even I as your mother had no clue how to help you out of. And as you said, at first it was gratitude, but now it’s grown into something more. Face that. Admit it to yourself. Be honest, please.”

  She moved in closer to him and took the mug of coffee from his hands and placed it behind her on the coffee table where she’d been sitting. Their knees touching, she took his hands in her own and stared him down.

  “You were a precious child. You are an exceptional man. No mother could be prouder of her son. There are women in pretty much every corner of this city who know you who would give their right arm to be at your side.”

  “Oh, come on…” Joe protested.

  “No, I’m serious. You finding another wife? That’s bound to happen eventually. It just scared you that someone got caught in your crosshairs this quickly. You just got knocked off balance is all. But know this: what you have to give in the next chapter of your life takes nothing away from what you and Grace first shared.”

  Joe nodded. He knew if anyone understood, Elise did. In the decade-plus since his father had died, there were a number of gentlemen who would come calling on the Widow Buchanan, and while none had yet to match the power of Joseph Senior, She had never closed her mind to the possibility of sharing her life with someone again.

  “I suppose I feel a sense of wanting to protect her,” Joe said finally. “I’m still a little anxious that people will give her a hard time; like she was waiting in the wings or something. As if she had an underhanded motive for wanting to help so much.”

  “Anyone who knows that girl could never accuse her of having one ulterior bone in her body,” Elise interjected. “Besides, I think there’s another person right here in this house who fits that bill.”

  Joe’s brow furrowed. “Who, Sissy?”

  Elise’s head swayed from side to side in disbelief. “You seriously do not see the designs that girl has on you?”

  Joe was embarrassed at his own naïveté. “Sorry Ma. I’ve just never seen her that way…so I guess not.”

  That was enough for Elise. She knew her son had no reason to be coy; that wasn’t in his nature. “Okay,” was all she said.

  “So, with that in mind, what do I tell the Hammonds?”

  Elise gave a soft laugh as she transferred herself from the coffee table back to the couch. Patting him gently on the knee, she said, “Let’s eat this elephant one bite at a time, okay? Your first order of business is to get things straight with Maggie. Enjoy a courtship. And then figure out together what the next step should be.”

  “Thanks Mom. You really are one smart lady.”

  “I know. Glad to see you finally got the memo.”


  The two of them laughed.

  “Hey you guys, Merry Christmas!” said a very cheery Sissy as she peeked into the room. Already wearing makeup with her hair pulled in a youthful pony tail she chimed, “What are you two up to?

  “Merry Christmas, Sissy,” said Joe.

  A small crash, the sound of skin being slapped, and a yelp followed. “I take it the kids are up?” he added.

  “Yeah, and we should probably get in there and read the Christmas story so we can dive into these presents before the twins bust a gut,” she said. “Merry Christmas Gamma B!” she chirped.

  “It’s ‘Gramma’ not ‘Gamma’, you simple little…” Elise said under her breath through a frozen smile. Her sentence was cut short by Joe pretending to have something stuck in his throat.

  Sissy furrowed her brow. “I’m sorry?” she asked, lost as to what was happening.

  “I was just saying, Merry Christmas to you,” Elise returned.

  “Okay, I smell coffee, so I’m gonna grab a cup, and as soon as Mom and Dad come down, we’ll get crackin’!” she said with the enthusiasm of a high school cheerleader.

  “Great!” Elise said, forcing a smile while drawing out the word. With a quick nod of the head, Sissy bounded out of the room, stopping to goof around with the kids before turning on some lively Christmas music to coax her parents down from their slumber.

  Elise stared straight ahead into the fire, noticing that the house had begun to brighten with the light of day. She sighed heavily, not looking forward to a morning in Sissy’s presence.

  “I suppose we can table our conversation for another time,” she said as Joe rose and extended his hand to help her from her place. Placing both hands on his arms, she looked at her son and said sternly. “You’ve given a tremendous amount to the world around you, son. It’s time to see about yourself. Now, get me one of those bibles off of the shelf, please.”

  “Well this is a treat, Ma, are you gonna read the Christmas story this year?”

  “No child. I’ll leave that to you or to Judge Matthew. Between your son and Sissy, I really believe it would be in everyone’s best interest if I kept the Word of God close by. Just think of it as life insurance.”

  “You’re a trip, Ma,” Joe said as he turned to search the shelves for one of his favorite translations. Handing it to her, he paused briefly before saying, “All that stuff that happened last week with Maggie…it felt like this whole world opened up for me. When I kissed her, sure there was a physical reaction. But I think what really got me was the connection I felt with her. It was intense, Ma. Really intense.”

  “That my dear, is what you need to explore,” Elise said, patting him on his arm. “And before you do anything else, child, pray. I like to think I have all of the answers, but I know the score. The Good Lord is the only One who truly knows what you need. He’ll help keep you from letting anyone else’s agenda get in the way.”

  “I hear you. Thanks for the advice. I love you.”

  “It’s my pleasure, son, because I really love you.”

  Joe tucked her arm into the crook of his and began to lead her out of the room. “Okay, Elise,” he said as they made their way to the living room to the rest of the family. “Promise me you’ll behave in there.”

  “Disrespectful boy. Won’t get a haircut, calling his mother by her first name…”

  “Hey, you gave birth to me and you can’t even remember how old I am.”

  “That was an honest slip, young man. I’m old. It happens.”

  “Look at it this way; you just named the only two flaws in my character.”

  “Oh, if that were only true.”

  “Ha!” he laughed. “Kala Christougena, Mana.”

  “Kala Christougena, my sweet boy.”

  “You know, I’ve always meant to tell you that your Greek sounds hilarious with that Southern accent.”

  “Oh, shut up.”

  The story of the Christ child was read reverently, as always, by Matthew, ushering in a beautiful prayer by Joe, all serving as a prelude to children doing their duty in decimating the room as they opened their gifts with delight. For the adults, watching the children’s fervor, listening to them squeal - “Oh thank you! It’s just what I wanted!” - was the best part of the morning’s entertainment.

  Once the adrenaline had run its course, there were three small bodies lying amongst the ruin of opened gifts and discarded paper, each of them napping comically while clutching their favorite gift.

  Matty had somehow worked his way completely beneath the tree, curled on his side, hugging his brand new Marshmallow Shooter gun.

  “Who got him that,” Matthew asked.

  Sissy raised her hand sheepishly. “Guilty,” she said. Joe and Matthew groaned in unison.

  “My only fear is what he’s gonna experiment with once he runs out of marshmallows,” said Joe.

  “I don’t know what I was thinking,” said Sissy. “But what could I do? He was so cute when he kept pestering me about it, so I just couldn’t say no.” The looks on everyone’s faces were still skeptical as to the soundness of her judgment. “Okay, okay. We’ll ‘conveniently’ lose it later,” she yielded, using her fingers to form quotation marks.

  Gwen had fallen asleep sitting on the floor, resting her head on the loveseat, a brand new leather Deana Timmons World Tour jacket from Maggie spread across her lap. Mary Margaret lay spread-eagle under some paper in her footie pajamas and matching bathrobe; the newest American Girl doll in one hand, the accompanying book in the other.

  “Breakfast is ready,” Janice whispered.

  “Should we wake the children,” Sissy asked.

  “No!” the other adults whispered emphatically.

  “Just step over the bodies and enjoy the peace and quiet,” Joe said as he climbed over the back of the couch.

  They enjoyed the spread of freshly brewed coffee, egg casserole, smoked sausage, citrus fruit salad and homemade cinnamon rolls as the music played quietly and the children continued to sleep. Joe, sitting next to his mother, enjoyed the stories that each of the Hammonds shared from Christmases past, interjecting with memories of his own as they all laughed aloud.

  “Shhh! You don’t wanna wake the kids up,” warned Janice.

  Matthew rose and peeked around the corner. “At this point, I figure they’ll sleep through Armageddon if they’ve slept this long,” he said. As he returned to his seat, he suddenly got serious. “I want to say something. It’s been a rough season for us all. But it’s a real blessing from God that even though we still miss our beautiful Gracie, we can gather together in love. I’m thankful for that.”

  Taking Sissy’s hand, he continued. “We’re still here, still together and still a family.”

  Janice, sitting on the other side of Sissy, put her arm around her and kissed her on the cheek. “I know that I don’t say this often enough, my darling girl, but I treasure you. Merry Christmas.”

  Sissy’s heart was filled with an overwhelming sense of thankfulness as her eyes filled with tears. For many years she’d felt as though she hadn’t been valued. For many years she tried to impress her parents with the accoutrements of her jet-set lifestyle; from VIP seats at concerts and awards shows to backstage passes. And while Matthew and Janice always seemed to appreciate the gifts, Sissy still felt as though she bore the rare burden of standing in the shadow of her younger sister.

  During her lifetime, Grace lent beauty to the world through her art. Sissy was more adept at the business side of things. Being a mover and shaker in the board rooms of the entertainment industry was her calling, even if it wasn’t considered all that life-affirming compared to Grace’s legacy.

  But on this day, it was gratifying for Sissy to realize what Grace had known all along: that all it took to receive her parents love was simply just…to be.

  She returned the embrace. “I love you too, Mom. Thank you for saying that.” For the next few moments, they all remained quiet, taking a moment to savor the closeness that t
hey shared.

  Wiping the tears from his eyes, Matthew said, “Alright then, before we all get arrested by the schmaltz police…” Everyone laughed as he stood and raised his water glass. “I just want to say that I believe this New Year is going to bring with it even more strength and fresh starts than we’ve ever had.”

  The declaration released something in Joe: a settled determination to make right what was wrong. And if all went according to plan, he and Maggie could ring in the New Year embarking on the grandest adventure of their lives. With confidence, he lifted his own glass and said, “Hear, hear.”

  He cast a sideways glance to his mother, who responded with a smile and a wink. Her smile faded, however, as she noticed Sissy sipping from her own cup of coffee, her eyes fixed confidently-and squarely-on Joe.

  Chapter 6

  Maggie smiled at the flight attendant as she exited the plane; it was then she realized the aircraft had docked at the far end of the terminal. Rebuking herself for wearing the black suede stiletto boots her mother had given her for Christmas, she braced herself for the long walk to baggage claim.

  Her time with friends and family-particularly her father - served to sooth the wounds she’d sustained in her argument with Joe. She received much needed counsel and comfort in the words of her childhood pastor when she’d attend church with her parents. She laughed at the Christmas movies and cheered with her father at the victories of his favorite football teams. But in the quiet, unguarded moments, Maggie’s sadness would rise to the surface.

  As always, Lenore kept in a state of prayerful vigilance and said nothing. She simply waited to see if Maggie would open up about what might be bothering her, and was ready to listen if she did.

  Maggie never said a word.

  An entire week had gone by without so much as a phone call, e-mail, text or Facebook post between Maggie and Joe, leaving her to wonder what to expect upon her return. One thing she did know: she owed him a serious apology for the cutting remark she made.

  It was a comfort for her to know that Darla would be waiting for her downstairs. The two women had always had a good relationship, made even stronger with Grace’s death. As a ‘thank you,’ Maggie thought she’d treat Darla to dinner. They could swap holiday stories and make plans to shop for the big New Year’s Eve gala that was being hosted by Deana Timmons’ label, Star Records. She also knew that Darla would want the lowdown on what happened the night before and the day of the session, so there would be no lack for conversation. It was the least Maggie felt she could do in response to all of Darla’s kindnesses.