Butterfly Secrets

by G. L. Blackhouse

  “We normally don’t take no out of town checks, but since it’s you and I know ya and Clyde knows ya family, a check will be fine,” Kevin said.

  I wrote out the check and waved goodbye to Kevin.

  I got into the sky-blue Beetle and drove away.

  “It’s good to have you back,” I said as I gently patted the wheel of the car. I was so glad to have Grandma’s car back. She loved this car, and when driving it, I always felt closer to her. As crazy as it sounded, at times, it felt as though she was right in here riding with me.

  I reached over and turned on the AM radio. There was a gospel station on, but this time I wasn’t bothered as one of Grandma’s favorite hymns played in the background. I rolled down the windows and drove home. The warm breeze felt good against my face.

  I hadn’t heard from Jackson all day. It was getting late, and I had allowed myself to get distracted by the shop. It was as though Grandma had been doing things to focus my attention elsewhere since Jackson had left.

  I took out my phone to text Jackson, and it was dead. I shook my head.

  “Not now!” I exclaimed, putting my phone back in my purse. I knew I would just have to trust and pray that Jackson was okay for now.

  I thought back to my night with Jackson. It felt good to be in his arms. I thought of the shop and the possibility of really opening a shop in town. I could have a life here if Roy was convicted. It could be a possibility. Surely he couldn’t weasel his way out of murder charges when there was a body, could he? I felt a knot in the pit of my stomach at the thought. Had I really grown so accustomed to pain that I couldn’t allow myself to be happy for just one minute? I had Jackson, a family who loved me, and Roy should be sent away for a long time, yet things still didn’t seem quite right. Suddenly, I thought of my nightmare with Roy at the house and how he had gotten out of jail. I cringed as I saw very vividly the images in my dream of him hitting me, cussing, and yelling at me. My head felt light as I recalled his sinister laugh and how he had said that he killed Jackson. I flinched as I saw him pull the trigger and shoot. I had to jerk the wheel back as I almost hit a squirrel in the road. I told myself that I was just being silly as I took a deep breath and exhaled and focused on the road ahead of me.

  I slowed the car down as I pulled onto a country road. I thought of Jackson and how sexy he had looked this morning getting out of bed. I told myself that I could get used to waking up next to him.

  I shook my head and told myself that I was just overthinking and that when I got home, all would be resolved, and that Jackson and I would have a nice romantic dinner and take our relationship to the next level.

  Suddenly, I swerved as a black truck came at me head-on. It was Roy. I swerved back and forth, and I fought with the wheel. I saw my life flash before me. I grabbed the wheel tight, and I let off the gas and continued to struggle with the wheel. The car swerved back and forth as I tried to miss the truck. After all of this, was it possible that I was going to die in a car just like Mama and Daddy?

  I heard Grandma May say, “Hang on, Dear.” I felt a warmness around me, and strangely I felt safe.

  I hung tightly onto the wheel and swerved out of the way. Then I covered my head and face with my arms. Finally, the car came to a stop, landing in a ditch. Miraculously, I was okay, only a little bit shook up, and I had hit my head against the car window.

  I looked around, and there was no Roy. No one was in sight for miles. I took a deep breath of relief to be alive.

  “Thank you, Grandma.”

  I grabbed my phone, forgetting it was dead. I heard the sound of someone approaching I was terrified it was Roy returning to finish me. Another accident, I thought as I trembled.

  It was Jackson. He stopped his bike, jumped off, and ran to the car. He pulled open the door.

  “Oh, my God, are you okay? I’ve been trying to reach you all day,” he said.

  “Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little banged up is all, but Grandma’s car is ruined,” I said, rubbing my bruised head and sobbing.

  “Don’t worry. I’ll get it fixed. I don’t care how much it costs. Please, don’t cry,” Jackson said as he wiped my tears, kissed my cheek, and held on to me tightly.

  I nodded my head as I tried to compose myself.

  “It was Roy, wasn’t it?” Jackson asked with a red face.

  “Yes, I think so,” I said softly.

  “Dammit! He’ll pay, Em. He’ll pay,” Jackson said as he punched the car.

  “It’s okay, Jackson. I’m okay,” I said.

  “He tried to kill you, Em,” Jackson said angrily.

  “I’m fine. Can we just go home?” I asked.

  Jackson’s demeanor turned to a softer one as he took my hands in his and looked me in the eyes.

  “Em, let me take you to Georgia’s. You’ll be safer there,” he said.

  “What about you? Aren’t you coming, too?” I asked, confused.

  “I’ll be there later, but first I’m going to get someone to pick up the car. Then I am going to deal with Roy once and for all, Em. He’s gone too far.”

  “It’s too dangerous,” I pleaded.

  Jackson pulled me closer to him and looked me in the eyes.

  “He could’ve killed you. I’m not going to have you running around here scared for your life, and I’m certainly not going to allow him to think he can bully you around, and no one do anything about it,” he said with a red face.

  “We’ll call the police. They’ll take care of it,” I said.

  “I can take care of it myself, Em. Roy doesn't scare me,” Jackson said.

  I shook my head.

  Jackson stared at me with his seductive eyes.

  “Listen, you yourself said you were tired of running. All your life, you’ve had to run from him. He’s taken everything you ever had. This ends now,” Jackson exclaimed as he ran his fingers through my hair.

  I knew that there was no use fighting with Jackson.

  I nodded and hopped on the back of his bike as we rode to Aunt Georgia’s

  Jackson stopped the bike and kissed me on the lips. “I’ll be back. I promise,” he said, giving me another kiss.

  I got off the bike.

  “I’m going to hold you to that,” I said, waving goodbye. I just prayed that Jackson would be okay. I reasoned that Grandma May had brought me here and reconnected me with Jackson, now I had to trust that she would watch over him.

  CHAPTER 23- CELEBRATION

  I walked into Aunt Georgia’s driveway, lost in my thoughts. Katie was playing in the yard with Kyle. They were both running through a water hose spray, laughing and giggling. Jackson was right. It was time that Roy paid. Not another one of us deserved to suffer because of Roy. But, even now, with all of Grandma’s help, I knew it wasn’t going to be that simple. I had never seen Jackson that mad before. I just hoped that he would be okay. Jackson was smart, and I had to have faith that he wouldn’t do anything stupid.

  Katie ran up to me and gave me a tight hug. She was wearing a pink sundress, and her hair was in pigtails.

  “Cousin Em!” she exclaimed.

  “Hi, Sweetie,” I said, hugging her tight.

  She let go.

  “Look what I got,” she whispered as she opened her hand and smiled.

  In Katie’s hand was a small frog.

  “A frog?” I said, smiling. I knew that if Julie found out, it would all be over.

  “Shh, don’t tell Mama. Kyle gave it to me,” she said.

  “I won’t.” I laughed.

  “His name is Freddy,” Katie said.

  “Well, I think that is a great name,” I said with a smile.

  “Freddy the Frog,” Katie said, laughing.

  I laughed, too.

  Katie took my hand and led me over to Kyle.

  Kyle was sitting in the grass and building a castle out of sand.

  “What’s that for?” I asked.

  “A home for Freddy.”

  “Oh, does your mama know about this?” I asked
with a smile.

  “No. You aren’t goin’ to tell her, are you?” Kyle asked, worried as he continued to dig.

  “I’ll tell you what. Let me call Jim and get him to stop by the pet shop and bring you home a terrarium and a book on how to take care of frogs, and then I will talk to your mama,” I said.

  “Really, you would do that?” Kyle asked excitedly.

  “Yes. I’ll call Jim and have him pick up the stuff for you, and I’ll pay for it all.”

  “Thank you, Cousin Em!” Kyle said, giving me a tight hug.

  “You’re welcome,” I said.

  I walked into the house.

  Julie looked up from the oven.

  “Hi, Cuz. You want to help me fix the cornbread? Mama has enough food planned to feed an army,” Julie said, smiling.

  “Ah, now Julie, we got a big family, and we want everyone to feel full. Besides, we got reason to celebrate. Jim told me that they found Jenny’s body. Is that true?” Aunt Georgia asked as she peeled the potatoes.

  “Yes,” I said.

  “Well, thank the Lord. My baby sister is finally gonna get some justice,” Aunt Georgia said as she threw her hands up in the air with tears in her eyes.

  “Oh God, Em, it’s about time!” Julie said with a sigh of relief,

  I nodded.

  “So how did you know where Jenny was? Practically the whole town looked for her and couldn’t find her,” Julie said, as she let go after hugging me.

  “I know it sounds crazy, but would you believe me if I told you that Grandma May came to me in a dream and showed me?” I asked as my heart pounded. I hadn’t told anyone besides Jackson about these visions. I hadn’t said anything since I told Mama about losing the baby if she didn’t leave Roy.

  “A dream with Mama?” Aunt Georgia asked with tears in her eyes.

  “Yeah, a dream with Grandma,” I said nervously.

  “You got the gift, too! Mama had the gift. She saw things before they happened in her dreams. Your mama, Jenny, hated it. Mama warned Jenny that one day if she didn’t stop runnin’ from her past that she would lose a daughter,” Aunt Georgia said with tears in her eyes.

  “Grandma saw Jordy’s death?” I asked, surprised.

  “Yeah, Em. I think so. She tried to warn Jenny. She tried to get her off all them pills. Mama even said that she had a bad feeling about your daddy, but Jenny never was one to listen. She thought Mama was just old and crazy, I guess,” Aunt Georgia explained.

  “What about you? Did you believe Grandma?” I asked, wondering if Aunt Georgia believed me.

  “To be honest, at first, I guess I wasn’t for sure. I was even kind of embarrassed with Mama and her visions, but over time I came to believe her,” Aunt Georgia said as she continued to prepare the food.

  “Why? What changed?” I asked, curious about Aunt Georgia’s change of heart.

  “Because she just knew things, Em, before they would happen, things she could have no way of knowing, and she turned out to be right more than she was wrong,” Aunt Georgia said as she continued peeling the potatoes.

  I sat in shock as I listened. This seemed all too familiar to me. I knew that feeling of knowing and being helpless.

  The day Jordy died, Daddy passed out, and Mama was upstairs knocked out from her anti-depressants. There in front of Daddy was a fifth of whiskey. I had held the whiskey in my hands. Even smelled it and put it up to my lips. I had stolen some of Mama’s pills and had them in my other hand. I just wanted to forget about it all, or even better, to die and be with Jordy. I didn’t want to have to hear the fighting or worry if Mama would live or die another day. Then, I had heard a knock at the door. It had been Jackson. He saved my life that day and didn’t even know it. My heart sank at the possibility that I could have turned out just like Mama. I put my head in my hands and sobbed.

  “Lord, child, what’s the matter?” Aunt Georgia asked as she turned down the burner on the stove and walked towards me.

  “She tried to warn me, too, Aunt Georgia, about Jordy,” I said in between sobs.

  Aunt Georgia gently removed my hands from my eyes.

  “Now, Em, don’t you go blamin’ yourself. Mama loved you more than life. She told me herself how you were the best thing that ever happened to her, besides her own children. You did all you could for Jordy. She loved you,” Aunt Georgia said.

  “But why, Aunt Georgia? Why the dreams then?” I asked, still sobbing.

  “Who knows, Em? Sometimes life is complicated like that. Sometimes life hurts, too, and we can’t understand why certain things happen, but when it is all said and done, it somehow makes sense.”

  “But Jordy, how could she ever forgive me? I let her down, just like Mama did. I wasn’t there for her,” I said softly.

  “Jordy loved you, Em. Why you was more of a mama to her than Jenny, I hate to say that about my own sister, but Lord knows it’s the truth,” Aunt Georgia said, shaking her head.

  Julie nodded in agreement with Aunt Georgia as she walked over and placed her hand on my shoulder.

  “But in the dream, Grandma showed me Jordy’s death. I didn’t stay home. I could've saved her, and I didn’t,” I said.

  “Em, you were a kid yourself. A fifteen- year- old don’t know what to do with a dream like that, and besides, who knows if you were even meant to save her? Maybe the dream was more for you than Jordy. As crazy as it sounds, Mama could have shown you the dream to prepare you.”

  “What?” I asked, trying to grasp what Aunt Georgia was saying.

  “I wish I could believe that, Aunt Georgia, but losing Jordy just keeps eating at me, and I feel like I could have done more,” I said.

  “Why didn’t you ever tell anybody, Em? Why carry that with you all these years and blame yourself?” Julie asked.

  “I guess because I did blame myself. I still do, and I was afraid if I told you that I would get into trouble. You know Roy. He was always eager to beat Mama and me,” I said.

  “Oh, Honey. I had no idea he beat you,” Aunt Georgia said, putting her arms around me and hugging me tightly.

  “I got good at covering it up. He told me that if I ever told anyone, he would kill me, Mama or Jordy,” I said, feeling relieved to finally let it all out.

  Katie walked back in, and I quickly dried my tears. Aunt Georgia let go of her embrace. Katie crawled into my lap and kissed my cheek.

  “Don’t cry, Em. Don’t cry,” she said, patting my head.

  I hugged her tightly, and she patted my back. She opened her hand, and a blue butterfly flew out. I nearly lost my breath.

  “This is for you, Em. I knew you liked them,” Katie said.

  “How did you know?” I asked with surprise.

  “Jordy told me, silly,” she said with a giggle.

  “Huh?” I asked, giving her a puzzled look.

  “Jordy gave it to me and said she’s not mad at you,” Katie said.

  “Katie, don’t talk like that,” Julie scolded.

  “Julie, it is fine,” I said, smiling at Katie.

  “Did I do something wrong?” Katie asked.

  “No, you did everything right,” I whispered to Katie as I kissed her head and watched the butterfly flutter around.

  Katie ran off, giggling after Kyle, who was in the living room playing a video game.

  I got up from the table.

  “Excuse me for a minute. I’ll be right back,” I said as I left the room, and I walked out on the porch.

  Jordy had sent me a blue butterfly, letting me know that it was okay.

  “Oh, how I miss you, Jordy,” I whispered as I looked out into the distance and sighed.

  I was interrupted from my thoughts by the sound of my cell phone ringing.

  “Hey, Cuz! Me and Tiff are on our way. You need anything?” Jimmy asked with the sound of music blasting in the background.

  “What? Huh?” I asked.

  “You drunk again?” Jimmy teased.

  “No, that was a one-time thing,” I said, slowly gathering
my senses.

  “Well, you sure sound like it,” he joked.

  “What’s up?” I asked.

  “Did you hear anything I said? I said Me and Tiff’s on our way there. You need anything?” he repeated.

  “Oh, sorry. Can you stop by the pet shop and pick up a terrarium and a book on frogs and reptiles?” I asked.

  “You ain’t tryin’ to start a pet shop, or somethin’ are ya, Em?” Jimmy joked.

  “No. I want one for Kyle and Katie,” I said.

  “Okay, but Julie will pitch a fit. You okay with that?” Jimmy asked in a reluctant tone.

  “Yes, the kids need a pet,” I said firmly.

  “Alright, then count me in. I ain’t ruffled sis’s feathers in a while. ‘Bout time she had some excitement,” Jimmy said, laughing.

  “Thanks, Jim,” I said sarcastically. Jimmy seemed to get way too much enjoyment out of starting trouble of any kind, whether it was with family or the law.

  “Okay, see ya in a few,” he said, laughing as he hung up the phone.

  I walked back inside then to help Aunt Georgia and Julie with the cooking. We’d be having cornbread, chicken and dumplings, green beans, coleslaw, potato salad, tomatoes fresh out of the garden, and Grandma’s signature red velvet cake.

  About forty-five minutes later, we heard a loud car outside. We heard Kyle and Katie yelling Jimmy’s name, excitedly.

  “He’s finally here,” Julie sighed.

  Jimmy came in the door carrying a terrarium with a huge smile on his face. I had wanted Jimmy to wait until I had the chance to talk to Julie first about the kids keeping a frog, but Jimmy seemed more than willing to get Julie going.

  “What’s that, Jim?” Julie asked as she peeked through the kitchen at the front door and pointed at the terrarium.

  “Oh, this?” Jimmy said, acting surprised as he pointed to the terrarium.

  “Yes, Jimmy,” Julie said, frustrated.

  “Oh, Em got this for the kids so they could keep a pet frog,” Jimmy said, smiling even wider.

  Julie shot an angry look at me.

  “Don’t worry, Jules, I will help them take care of it and besides they need a pet,” I said, trying to reassure a frustrated Julie.

  “They got Mama’s dog, Ellie” Julie shot back.