Elias (GRIT Sector 1)

by Rebecca Sherwin

  “And what if you’re wrong?” he rasped. “What if you’re nosediving into humiliation because you can't see what’s really going on?”

  “I’m not. I can tell when you’re aroused, Elias.”

  “Don’t say my name.”

  “Elias.”

  His eyes darkened further, to a midnight black that captured me and made me want to swim in their depths.

  “Stop. What is wrong with you?”

  He shuffled, feigning boredom, but I saw right through him. I saw through the subtle act of slipping his hands into his pockets to find a millisecond of relief. I saw his chest rise as his lungs expanded when he drew in a deep, steadying breath.

  “You. Arousal. I see it.”

  “No you don’t, Trixie. Whatever you think you see, it’s a product of unrequited desire. It’s the product of your imagination. You’re looking for things that aren’t there and you’ve convinced yourself they are. You’ve convinced yourself you’re right. Its paranoia, only backwards.”

  “Bullshit.”

  I knew he hated it and I knew I was pushing. It was why I said it. One word that would elicit an honest reaction from him. His jaw ticked, his eyes widened and his mouth dried, drawing his tongue out to moisten his lips. His nostrils flared as he prepared to snap. I waited for it, but a growl was the only response I received. It brought goosebumps to the surface of my skin. It made my heart beat in a worrying crescendo. It made me square my jaws and brace myself.

  “Watch your language.”

  He snarled. I narrowed my eyes. He breathed in as I breathed out.

  “I’m trained to watch people, Elias,” I said, watching him gasp. It told me I was right. I knew what was going on. “I’m trained, just like you, to see the things humans try desperately to hide.” I took another step towards him as he took one back, squaring his shoulders to extend his menacing height and expand his powerful build. “You think I can't see your fingers flex with the urge to touch me? You think I don’t notice the way your breathing changes when we’re together, like if you take a deep breath you’ll break? You’ll taste me and once you’ve had taste, you’ll need to take a feast?” He shook his head, his nostrils flaring as his anger mounted. He didn’t like to be challenged and that’s exactly what I represented. A challenge not to say yes. A challenge not to say no. “It’s in your eyes, Elias. I’ve seen them lighten once, when you were happy—genuinely happy, beyond the bullshit life you think you’re destined for…and your eyes darken when you’re aroused, until they’re almost black.”

  “Stop talking, Trixie.”

  I knew I was treading dangerous ground as I took another step. Elias couldn’t hurt me. He’d be banished from the world he controlled and the only life he’d ever known if he did. But he wanted to hurt me. He wanted to shut me up in whatever way he deemed necessary, and he wanted to hurt me for making him feel something he wasn’t ordered to feel.

  “What if I don’t want to?” I asked. “What if I want you to want me? What if I want you to be a man and do something about it?”

  He raised his eyebrows and his lips twitched in amusement.

  “Are you saying I’m not a man, Trixie Ashford?”

  “Oh no.” I shook my head slowly. “I’m saying I want you to show me you are.” I took another step but instead of moving away from me, Elias circled me so I had my back to the door, inches from where he tried to stay in control with careful breaths. “I know you want me.”

  “You’re wrong.”

  I shook my head. I didn’t believe him for a second, and I smirked as I watched his eyes cloud over into a coal-black stare that displayed nothing but lust.

  “I’m not. I came into your perfectly ordered life and I turned it upside down. Not because I’m doing anything I shouldn’t be doing, I haven’t threatened your position once. It’s because you want me. You want what you’ve never had, and you want it with me.”

  “Stop talking.”

  Another growl that made my stomach quiver, and my legs closed together tightly.

  “You want someone who can match you. Someone who will beg you for more, instead of asking you to stop.” He shook his head in conflict. He wanted me to continue, but he tried not to hear the words. “What is it you’ve never had, Elias? Someone who doesn’t want to throw it all at you? Someone who wants you to take it, while she begs you to leave her in one piece when you’re done? Someone who won't just respect your place and stay quiet in the corner until they’re summoned? Someone who will make every action worth it? Someone who will teach you things you never knew about yourself, while you teach them all of the ways you’re a monster?”

  Elias reared forward and slammed his hands on the door either side of my head. The tips of his fingers were a whisper away from my hair, and I wanted him to take it. I wanted him to take two fistfuls of my hair and answer my questions.

  “I asked you to stop talking,” he said, each word accentuated and exaggerated with the need to stamp his authority. “Stop talking about things you know nothing about.”

  “So you don’t want to fuck me?” I asked, lowering my voice to a seductive whisper, blinking a little slower, breathing a little deeper so he knew exactly how he affected me.

  “Oh, I want to fuck you, Trixie.”

  “So do it.”

  Elias shook his head. His chest heaved, he bit down on his lip so hard he broke the skin and a trickle of blood ran to his chin. Reaching between us, I caught it on my thumb and slipped it into my mouth. Still he stood unmoving, burning lustful conflict into my eyes and shook his head again.

  “Please, Trixie.”

  “I haven’t chained you to a cross. I’m not stopping you from walking away.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  He wasn’t talking about the bedroom. He wasn’t talking about walking away from me. I had a feeling he was talking about something completely different, and it terrified me. I felt like something was about to change again. Just when I’d found out about punishment, torture, and perceived justice, Elias threatened to take it all away with his cryptic ways and the connection between us that meant I’d follow him into the depths of Hell if he asked me to.

  I was a lost cause.

  “So what now?”

  “Ask me again.” he rasped.

  “Ask you what?” I breathed.

  “The question that’s on your mind.”

  “It’s not a question. It’s a request.”

  “So say it.”

  “I want…” I trailed off, losing my confidence. He’d rejected me before; could I take it again? Why did he want me to ask him? I cleared my throat. “I want you to fuck me.”

  “Tell me again,” he demanded, trailing the backs of his fingers up my cheek.

  “Fuck me.”

  He was testing me, or himself; I wasn’t sure, but when he threaded his fingers into my hair, I moaned.

  “Tell me again.”

  “Why?” I asked on another sigh.

  “Do you as you’re told and tell me again.”

  “Fuck me.”

  He tugged on my hair, pulling my head to one side and exposing my neck. His lips ghosted over the vein and travelled to my ear.

  “Again.”

  “Fuck you.” He pulled hard and I winced. “No.”

  Placing my hands on his chest, I pushed him away.

  “How badly do you want it?” he asked, humour flashing in his eyes as the moon shone through the window behind him.

  “Maybe I don’t. Maybe I’m not a toy and this is not a game.”

  “So you want me to fuck you, but for the sake of your pride, you won't ask me for it.”

  “No.” I pushed in earnest and he took a step back, smiling. “No, I won't. Not again.”

  “So you’re saying I’ll have to take it?” What kind of game was he playing? I shook my head. “You said I want you to refuse and rebel, that I want you to fight.”

  He stepped forward, resuming his position in my personal space. I loved and loathed
it. “Maybe I don’t want you to ask for it. maybe I want to take it…and maybe I want you to fight me when I do.”

  The stare down began. He’d asked me to ask for it, yet he didn’t want me to. He wanted me to give into him, yet he wanted me to fight him. Refuse him. Deny him. Reject him. He wanted me to force him into taking what he wanted.

  “No.” I placed my hands behind my back, palms against the door. “I want you to leave.”

  Elias shook his head.

  “You’ve asked me three times. Has your resolve been broken so easily?”

  “I’m not going to let you play me.” I stepped aside, sliding against the wall to the dressing table. “Get out.”

  Elias shook his head again. “I’m going to give you to the count of three to ask me again. One…” I said nothing, standing my ground and gripping the edge of the dresser with white-knuckle force. “Two…” I wouldn’t give into him. I wouldn’t be whatever he wanted me to be. I had one second left, and it drew out like a lifetime. I wanted to know what happened when he counted to…

  He didn’t reach three. He surged towards me and crashed us into the table. His hands tore at the towel and it gave way under his force, bunching on top of the dresser until he ripped it from behind me and tossed it over his shoulder. His hands gripped my hips, digging his thumb into the bones, then his lips fused to mine in a move so strong and domineering, I didn’t stand a chance. His mouth fought mine, his tongue forcing my lips to part so he could gain entry and when I let him in, he ravished me. His hands roamed my body, nails scraping over sensitive flesh and making me yelp. I tried to push him away, but he was too strong. I tried to slip my knee between his legs to give me some leverage, but he tore his lips from mine and turned me around.

  “Is this what you wanted, Miss Ashford?” he asked, grabbing my wrists and forcing them to the dresser. I braced myself onto it as he pressed himself into my ass. “Are you sure you don’t want to ask me again?” Then he whispered, “Don’t move.”

  I was panting wildly, my breath stolen as I stood bent over the dressing table and heard Elias’ belt buckle hit the floor. He’d taken his jeans off. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want this. I didn’t want him to touch me when I didn’t know why he was doing it, what he was going to do, and what consequences it would have. Looping his arm under mine, he pulled me back with his hand on my shoulder. My body collided with his and he was burning. I gave in. I wanted to fight him. I knew that was what he wanted, but I wanted him. I wanted him so badly, and I didn’t want to play games.

  “No,” I finally answered when he stilled and waited.

  “No?”

  “No, I’m not asking for it.”

  “Oh, I think you are. I think you’ve been asking for it since the night we met.”

  I swallowed hard, my body betraying me as I rolled my hips into him and felt his hard length against my back. He was steel-hard, raging heat and yet he was still in control. He was in his element. This was the real Elias. I smiled as I took hold of his wrist and slid it across my shoulder to my neck.

  “Then why don’t you give me what I’ve been asking for?”

  “Fight me,” he growled. “I want you to fight me.”

  I paused for a second and then I jammed my elbow into his ribs. He huffed and bent us over, his stomach tensing against my back as he fought for breath. He laughed; it was a sick, twisted sound and I felt the reaction travel to my pussy. Elias lowered his hand between us and gripped my ass, squeezing hard enough to make me shudder, before he slipped between my legs and cupped me.

  “Come on, Ashford. I didn’t think you’d give up so easily.”

  “I fucking hate you,” I spat, reaching behind me for a handful of his hair.

  He growled and sunk his teeth into my shoulder as I pulled. I ducked out of his hold, instantly falling cold when I scrambled across the room. Elias was like an animal on the prowl. He turned, shoulders hunched, eyes hooded and dark with sadistic pleasure. This was what he wanted. The chase. I wanted to tear into him. I wanted to consume him and extinguish this need that made me want to explode and obliterate.

  “Good.” He took a step, scoping me out as he extended his arm behind him and turned the lock on the door. “You should.”

  “I’m not scared of you.”

  “You should be.”

  He lunged forward and gripped my wrist. Before I could pull away, he lowered my hand to his where his boxers failed to conceal the erection that was rock hard and weeping for attention. I squeezed hard. I wouldn’t back down.

  “This is my most powerful weapon. I will ruin you, Trixie. I will break you, and you’d be wise to try and win this fight.” I shook my head. “It’ll protect you from the self-loathing later, when you ask yourself if you could have done more.”

  I turned, swiping my hand through the air until it connected with his cheek and I saw the red handprint on his face, even in the darkness of the night. Outside seemed so much safer now, when I was locked in here with him, conflicting arousal telling me I wanted him to win. I wanted him to ruin me. Elias let go of me and I crossed the room, hoping the bed would keep me safe. I was smaller. I was agile. I could outrun him. I would outrun him, because my adrenaline was just about tearing me apart and I had to use it.

  He said nothing. He just smiled. He didn’t even raise his hand to cup his jaw and soothe the burn. He remained poised and in control, standing straight like the hunter who had already snagged his prey. I looked at the door.

  “I dare you,” he challenged.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

  “Watch your mouth before I fill it.”

  “You wouldn’t.”

  “Try me,” he said, extending his hand towards the door. “I’ll give you a head start.”

  I bolted. I crawled across the bed, crashed my feet to the floor and ran, praying I’d stay on my feet. I’d have no hope once he got me down. Shaky hands tugged on the handle as I twisted the lock, but he was here. I could feel him behind me. I hadn’t heard him approach, but every ounce of my soul gravitated towards him and he was so close I could feel his heat. I couldn’t open the door. I had it unlocked—I’d gotten further than he’d expected me to—but I couldn’t open the door without colliding with him. I couldn’t escape him and I had nowhere to run.

  “I think watching you run around the room naked might be my new favourite game,” he said, his voice sweeping over my shoulder to tell me exactly where he was. Too close.

  “You think? What will it replace? Water torture? Lingchi? Crucifixion, perhaps?”

  Elias laughed. I froze when his hand softly stroked the top of my leg. Just the fingertips. Fingertips that made me recoil and groan.

  “I don’t think you hate this as much as you claim.”

  “Fuck off.”

  “What did I tell you about your filthy mouth, Trixie?”

  I froze with my hands on the door. I closed my eyes, trying to decide if I was repulsed or desperate for him to make good on his threat. Still his hand moved in slow motions, gliding up and down the outside of my leg. I shivered when he gathered my hair into his other hand and pulled my head back. Her glared down at me, black eyes to violet, evil eyes to eyes that weren’t sure which path to choose. With my head on his shoulder, Elias’ hand moved to my neck and I fought to swallow against his fingers when he curled them around my throat, catching my breath.

  “I can't breathe,” I spluttered, panicking. My heart was racing, my fingers flexed against the wood and I squeezed my eyes shut when he spun me around and slammed me against the wall.

  “On your knees, Ashford.”

  I obeyed quickly, knowing I’d be granted oxygen again once kneeling at his feet. I looked ahead, refusing to be the submissive woman he was probably used to dealing with. Instead my gaze fell to the straining erection in his pants. I could make out every inch; I could see every ridge and bump, each vein, and the wet patch at the crown that made me lick my lips.

  “Look at me.”

  I d
id, tipping my head back and glancing at the most mysterious thing to ever walk the planet, history be damned. Hooking his finger beneath my chin, Elias rubbed my bottom lip with his thumb, back and forth in a motion that made my thighs clench. I wanted that motion on my clit. I wanted him to make me come with his thumb. Just his thumb, letting me absorb every slither of intensity from that one digit.

  “Open.”

  I swallowed, licked my lips again and opened my mouth, taking deep breaths through my nose as Elias’ thumb snuck inside and pressed my tongue down to open me up.

  “Have you sucked a cock before, Trixie?”

  I didn’t answer. I didn’t know which answer he wanted, and I didn’t know whether the truth or a lie would be on my side here.

  “Answer me.” I nodded slowly, hoping he’d interpret it for whatever answer he expected of me. “With your voice, Ashford.”

  How was I supposed to talk? I felt my eyes widen as one side of his mouth raised into a cocky smirk that made me want to be on the dominant side of the coin. Fucker.

  “Say it.”

  “Yes,” I mumbled as best as I could with my mouth open, my tongue flexing against his thumb.

  “Again.”

  “Yes.”

  He slapped my cheek. “Good girl.”

  I took a deep breath when he eased his thumb out of my mouth, leaving a delicious taste on my tongue that hinted he’d enjoyed bath time more than he was letting on. My mouth watered and my hands slid between my legs to stop me from grabbing him. I didn’t need to wait long; Elias eased one hand into his boxers and pulled his cock free. It was gloriously hard, angrily red and pulsed when he let it go to bob under its own weight. I licked my lips again.