Elias (GRIT Sector 1)
Page 36
"And children?" Elliott asked. "Have you discussed the matter of children?"
"The other boys may have children before we do, in which case your point is moot because the empire becomes theirs anyway."
"Are you safe?" Trace asked.
He was asking out of love for his sister, but I suddenly felt hot under the collar. Sure, we were careful, but not careful enough. I pulled out before I came—every time since the first time and I'd dealt with that—although I wasn't stupid. No, I knew we were being stupid. But I was not comfortable discussing the subject with Trixie's father and brother present.
So I answered with a simple, "yes," deciding I'd broach the subject with my Ashford later. My woman. My fiancée. I'd been taught growing up that conception was the best thing that could happen in a GRIT man's life—providing it was planned. Until that time arose, we were careful. We bleached plugholes, burned tissues and if, God forbid, we used socks, they were thrown into the inferno too. There could be no scrap of DNA that would allow anyone to threaten us.
"Listen, I didn't bring you here to talk me out of this engagement. It's happening and I'm asking for your blessing. I'm asking you to trust in your future leaders as you've always done with the past. I'm asking you to support us on this journey and believe that we will run this empire together, as man and wife."
My uncles, Robert and Elliott, nodded their acceptance and I thanked them. Trace agreed, Lawson grinned and I knew he was already planning the celebrations. Beckett and my father said nothing; their scowls conveyed their rejection, but they kept quiet.
"Do you love her?" Richard asked.
I nodded. "I do."
"Then you have my blessing and I trust you to do right by my daughter. She is a princess and you will treat her as such until the day you take your last breath."
"I will. I give you my word, Richard."
With that done, the blessing received from Trixie's father, all that was left was to ask the woman who ran our family to believe in us, too.
"Grandma?" I said, looking at my grandmother and praying this had been in her plan.
She smiled, her wrinkly skin creasing her crow’s feet and shielding her dark eyes from revealing her honest thoughts.
"Interesting." She thought for a moment and then stood, using Trace's arm to aid her to her feet. "Elias, come with me. GRIT, you are dismissed."
Grandma took my hand, and I helped her from the room and back up into the house.
My cell had never felt so lonely. I'd been here for weeks, but in a matter of hours in the apartment with Elias, I'd come to realise how lonely I was. The cell had become home; my body clock told me when the sun rose and when it set to allow the moon to take over; the walls had become my new barricades, the table in the corner my new dining room, the bed pushed against the wall my new king-size four-poster. It had begun to feel like home and I had begun to give in to the fact that I would never get out, because I refused to take a life. But now, with Sector 1 deathly quiet, not even the crackhead to distract me, the cell felt empty. It felt like a punishment. It felt like Hell. All I wanted was to be with Elias, to discuss this impromptu engagement and talk about what would come next for us. I knew he was here, in one of the other rooms with my uncles and cousins, father and brother, and grandmother, but I was here alone. The outcast I'd always been but had prayed I wouldn't be now I knew the truth. The truth.
The truth was, my family were criminals. Everything they'd done, at least over the past three generations, had been for capital gain. It had been for power and not glory. It had been for money and not revenge. It had been for deceit and not integrity. It had been for reputation and not trust. I knew Elizabeth's story and I agreed with her motives. I knew about the previous Eli's and agreed that they too should have some justice handed to them, if only a hundred years too late, or however long it was.
I believed Elias and I could do this—bring GRIT out of the shadows and into the light—which brought me to my next concern.
We were engaged. I no longer had a cousin who hated me and saw me as nothing but a nuisance, a disruption in his perfectly regimented life.
I had a fiancé. I had a man who had sworn his love for me, and asked for mine in return. I had a man who had promised to protect me and stand beside me as we dragged our family out of the tarnished and back into the noble where it belonged. But he was a criminal.
He was a murderer. He was a torturer. He was a believer that money kept us safe, when he knew full well that it didn't. He was a demon and an angel, a saviour and a condemner; a lover and a fighter.
I had no idea what I had gotten myself into by agreeing to marry him.
I think I'd fallen asleep, when the lock on the door made me jump and swipe at my weary eyes. The bolt slid across the door, the chains were released and the handle creaked as someone twisted it and pushed the door open.
"Trixie?" Lola said, stepping inside with a lantern extended.
I laughed as I stood. I couldn't believe I'd once imagined her as my assistant, when she had turned into my collector, mindlessly following rules because it was safer than asking questions.
"Mrs Ashford has requested your presence."
"Great."
I met her at the door as she held it open for me, and stepped into the corridor. I hated that Lola had access to the Sector. I hated that she'd seen Elias more times than I had over the past however many weeks I'd been incarcerated, and I hated that she had something to offer him. Simplicity. A clean bloodline. Whatever it was he'd discovered during his time at the play pad. I didn't wait for her to walk ahead; I led the way, feeling the stab of competition I'd been grateful to find stagnant the first time I met her. Not now. Now she would answer to me and I wouldn't allow another alternative. She followed quietly as I led us to the exit, and out into the office. I closed the door. I slid the bookcase across. She had no power here.
"Mrs Ashford has laid an outfit on your bed. She said you're to clean up, get dressed and meet her in the dining hall at six."
"I've got it. You can go now."
"But Mr Blackwood-"
"I don't care what Elias ordered you to do. I'm telling you you're dismissed."
After a moment of hesitation, Lola curtseyed and left me to ascend the stairs myself.
"Trixie, dear," Ruby said, standing up as I entered the dining hall.
Everyone stood with her and I was once again on display. Mae was sat next to Richard, with Trace on his left, my immediate family all at the head of the table. Ambrose, Robert and Elliot stood with their sons, and Elias stood next to Ruby, catching my attention with a glance that told me not to panic. Last time I had been in this room, it had led to my imprisonment. I didn't trust there to be an easier outcome this time around. These people, every man in this room, stood to protect the city...but they stood to prevent it from becoming the pure capital its population held out for.
"Hello, Grandma," I said, crossing the room to the only empty seat. "Nice to see you."
I couldn't keep the contempt from my voice, no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't not hate her, just a little bit, for what she had ordered me to do.
"Come, sit."
She sat first and the family followed as I took my seat and stared across the table at my fiancé. He gave me a gentle smile, but it wasn't returned. I didn't know why we were here.
"What's going on?"
"Just a family dinner, sweet girl," she said, accepting a cup of earl grey from the server.
I didn't believe her, but when she patted my hand and gave me the smile I'd last seen in our rundown little apartment, soup was served and conversation was cut short.
We all ate in silence, the clink of spoons in the bowl and the occasional sound of bread being broken the only sound that accompanied the meal. We ate veal for our main course, and apple pie was brought out for dessert. I was wiping my mouth with a napkin and preparing to take another sip of wine, when Elias eased his chair back and stood.
"I have something I'd like to say,"
he said, his voice taking on the authoritative edge of the leader of GRIT.
I felt Ambrose's cold stare, and resentment from someone at the other end of the table, although I refused to look.
"Trixie," he said, drawing my undivided attention to the crystals in his dark eyes. "It's no secret that we were reared to come together. That we were destined to find each other. I knew early on that you played a part in the family, that a woman would one day come to power. I had no idea she was fated to stand as my equal, that she was created to annoy me, frustrate me, and challenge me when I didn't know I needed a challenge."
Ambrose snorted from his end of the table and a chuckle of retort sounded out from another place. They could go fuck themselves. Elias was talking and they needed to respect his power and shut the fuck up. I nodded for Elias to continue, when his shoulders tensed and his jaw ticked with the urge to demand respect.
"I had no idea that what we were destined for was love. I didn't know I would fall for you and, truth be told, two months ago I would have dragged someone to a prison cell for making such remarks." I cocked a brow and pouted, but he smirked and raised his hand to tell me to wait. "But now I can't see a future where you're not in it. You are the key to GRIT's empire, but you hold the key to my heart."
My blood-pumping organ went into overdrive as he stepped away from his chair and walked towards me. He stopped beside my seat, between Ruby and me, and dropped to his knee as our grandmother slid a small velvet box to the corner of the table.
"I want you to stand beside me and lead the organisation. But I want you to lay beside me at night and lead me to a brighter future. I want to know that you will stand with me for the rest of your life, and accept that I will stand with you through every waking hour of mine." He reached for the box and popped open the lid. "Trixie Ashford, will you be my wife?"
"Fuck me."
"Fuck me," she said, slapping her hand over her mouth as she stared at the ring, then at me, then back to the ring.
The engagement ring I held in front of her wasn't the one she'd wear for the rest of her life. It would be replaced with the wedding band and placed back in its box until it was summoned again. It belonged to Elizabeth Ashford. No. It had belonged to Isabel. It had been a gift from the King and was delicate gold, with an amethyst in its claw. It was simple yet elegant. It was timeless yet modern. It was made to decorate Trixie's finger.
"Fuck me," she said again from behind her hand.
I wanted to. Thoughts of hearing those two words rolling from her lips in a desperate purr made my trousers tight. Instead of dragging her from the room and demanding she eased the discomfort those words created in the depths of my soul, I smirked. I knew she liked that. She got a giddy, faraway look in her eyes whenever I did it, and I wanted to see that look every day for the rest of my life.
"Language, Ashford," I chastised, showing my family I still had control here, when I was barely keeping it together. "Do you have an answer?"
I found her shock amusing. She'd already agreed to marry me, why was she so surprised? I was a traditionalist and Trixie deserved the best. I would do this the right way. Ruby has reminded me that a proposal in the throes of passion wasn't the proper way to propose to a princess—soon-to-be queen. She'd taken me out of the Sector earlier to give me her private blessing, to kiss my forehead when I knelt in front of her, and to place the ring in my possession to give to Trixie. She'd told me she was proud of me. She'd told me I'd be the leader her father had envisioned. She told me she knew Trixie and I would make each other happy because it was written in the stars. When I looked into Trixie's eyes, as she made me wait for the answer she'd already given me, I knew Grandma was right. We were made to do this. We were destined to fall in love and resurrect the traditions of old.
"I don't have a speech as well-worded and stunning as yours," she whispered with a fleeting glance at her parents and brother behind her. She turned back to me and extended her hand. "Of course I'll marry you."
I swear to God and the ghosts of GRIT, if I'd have died then, I would have died a happy man. Ruby had been right—I'd been right when I said it last night—there was a right way to do this. I plucked the ring from its protective cushion, tossed the box onto the table, and slid the ring onto my fiancée's finger. I wanted to take her in my arms, to kiss her until she felt my passion and gratitude, but all eyes were on us and, as was custom, affection was as good as forbidden. Instead of doing what I wanted and tearing her from the seat and out of the room to the nearest surface, I got to my feet, kissed the ring on her delicate finger, and then cupped her face to kiss the top of her head.
It was official. I was engaged to Elias Blackwood; a man I had only known for five minutes—a man I didn't really know at all but loved with all my being. He was right when he'd said what he did during his proposal. He saw no future without me and I saw no world without him. I didn't care how long it had been, I didn't care that there were secrets and lies, I didn't care that he was in the league of the corrupt. I loved him. I'd probably loved him before I knew he existed, because we were meant for each other. Every step we'd taken had led us to this and my instincts told me this man was my life. My salvation. My everything.
I didn't expect to have to go back to the dungeon. When dinner was eaten and the dining hall gradually emptied, Lola led me to my cell where a cup of tea was waiting for me. There were no pyjamas under the bed. I wondered if that was because Mae had no idea what was really waiting for me when she left and there was a pair waiting for me in my chambers...or she trusted this too. She had as good as given us her blessing although I'd shared no words with my mother over dinner. I decided I'd ask to see her tomorrow. I'd ask if she could come to the estate and take a couple of horses for a ride. Elias couldn't stop me seeing my mother, could he? And why would he? Things were different now...weren't they?
I stripped out of my newest designer dress and climbed into bed, laying on my side to stare at the door and hope Elias would come to me.
He didn't.
He was a traditionalist. He was a man who loved to honour centuries of patterns and beliefs. I told myself that was why he didn't join me in bed, sneaking to my cell in the early hours just to hold me. We weren't meant to share the same bed before marriage. We weren't supposed to have had sex, but he wouldn't cut that out of our relationship. He was an animal, king of the primitive kingdom with stamina and aggression to match. I didn't know why he didn't join me, but eventually, I gave up and closed my eyes.
A new day began with the chink of chains and unbuckling of locks. It was a sound that had become as regular as an alarm clock, effectively waking me more than any device. Joe, another guard, stood at the door but he didn't look at me. I pulled the sheet up to my neck and waited for his instruction.
"You've got a meeting with your grandmother. She's expecting you in the breakfast room."
"Okay," I croaked, reaching for the cup of water on the floor. "You can wait outside."
Joe nodded and closed the door behind him. I knew he was standing on guard, like I'd have a hope in hell of running from here and breaking free. I pulled on the jeans and blouse I had on the back of the rickety dining chair, brushed my teeth, pulled my hair up into a ponytail, and knocked on the door for him to open it.
"Good morning, Trixie," Ruby said as I stepped into the conservatory and looked out at the garden.
We'd been granted another beautiful day and the garden blossomed with life. I smiled, and sat down.
"Good morning, Grandma." I accepted the cup of tea from the server with a thank you, and popped a cube of sugar into it. "Why couldn't I have gone to my room last night?"
"There are still things accepted of you, darling. Had Elias not proposed you'd still be there. Things don't change because you're engaged."
I looked away. I'd hoped they would. I'd hoped that the family witnessing his proposal, seeing the passion and love we felt for each other—both out of conflict and magnetism—would lead them to trust me. I thought I'd be let in
and not cast out.
"They've all done it, you know." She regained my attention as she clicked her fingers to ask for breakfast to be served. "All of the boys have taken a life. Your induction is no different to theirs and once you have completed your task, the training will begin."
"Training?"
"GRIT isn't run from a prison cell, darling."
I opened my mouth to speak, but two warm hands glided over my shoulders and down my arms. Elias bent over me and pressed a quick kiss to my neck. My blood heated instantly, calming any plans I had to go a little crazy on our fragile grandmother.
"Let's not discuss this over breakfast," he said, taking the seat next to me. His foot brushed my calf as he crossed one leg over the other and although he was sitting straight and as composed as ever, he looked relaxed. He looked happy. "I think we should discuss the wedding."
"What is there to discuss?" I asked.
"Plans, darling." Ruby looked at us both and waited until a server placed a mini Danish pastry and handful of berries on her plate. "There's no reason to wait. These things take time."
"Why? We're not having a big affair."
"We'll have a traditional wedding," Elias said.
"Why is planning this wedding more important than what we're doing with GRIT? Why are you not encouraging me to kill the murderer so you know I'm the one you should marry?”
"Because we're marrying anyway."
"Elias has promised me you will figure this out. I trust him and I believe you will come to your senses eventually."
Ruby made us wait while she ate a mouthful of berries. Elias and I both reached for a croissant and he gasped when our fingers touched. I wanted him. I needed him. I'd been on edge since last night, praying he'd usher me from the room to find somewhere to make us both come. That tiny little touch of one finger knocking another was enough to make my blood sing, like I was a siren begging him to come closer. To give me more. To fall for my ploy to find a way for us to reconnect.