Impatience - A Sophisticated BDsM Short - Jo's Manhattan Diaries Book 1

by Gwenna Craig Dover

  Impatience - A Sophisticated BDsM Short - Jo's Manhattan Diaries Book 1

  Impatience - A Sophisticated BDsM Short - Jo's Manhattan Diaries Book 1

  Midpoint

  Impatience

  Copyright 2013 Gwenna Craig Dover

  Published by Gwenna Craig Dover at Smashwords

  Smashwords Edition License Notes

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. The author proffers her work as a fantasy and does not suggest that the situations depicted herein represent actual or realistic BDsM relationships. These are fantasies only.

  Acknowledgements

  There are many people who make up a person. You know who you are. Many thanks.

  Book One

  Everyone went to the usual bar after work, today. Some of the administrative assistants and female junior partners and some of the less than interesting men went, but I couldn’t I just couldn’t. It’s a nice bar, I’ve been there before, but those men – no, boys – they’re boys – from the office – to have them looking at us, touching us, suggesting things. Then, the teasing, the imploring, the begging. No. I just came straight home.

  The sun was very hot today and my skin itches, itches. It’s not really the heat but the itch that’s enraging as I walked down the sidewalk, each step making the itch more palpable, more unbearable.

  Manhattan was spectacular today - buildings on fire with sunshine - and it was torture going down into the subway. I’ll be back there soon enough tonight, though. On the way home to my corner of Brooklyn today, I couldn’t help it: I tried to make eye contact with absolutely every slightly eligible looking man, but there was no one of any import. Well, let’s not be too modest, there was plenty of interest but once I caught the eye of someone with potential: no! Once we locked eyes I cast them aside again! So fickle. And they let me do that. It drives me wild. So many of them are so lax. So impotent.

  Probably for the best. It’s certainly too hot to get into some kind of situation with some unknown factor. Some stranger off the street or on the subway.

  I can’t help how I feel. It’s not my fault. But I think it’s only the natural way of male and female, isn’t it? That the male must physically overcome the female in order to accomplish the sexual act, that’s the natural part. And hasn’t that domination become part of the excitement of sex? Either that or it’s always been part of the excitement? They don’t discuss this on the talk shows, though. I guess it’s not politically correct.

  In the animal kingdom, the male lion bites into the female’s nape and holds her down so he can penetrate her. She lets him. Horses, too and tigers – they all do the same thing. You should see what male sharks do to females. If so, why shouldn’t I crave it, too?

  After all, there are all kinds of things that men want women to do. All kinds of acts to achieve sexual satisfaction. I won’t go into these. God. But while those things aren’t for me, I see nothing wrong with them if that’s what a person needs, wants. I’m not interested in taking part in those things, but I can understand wanting it, even if I don’t want it for myself. I understand needing sex in a certain way, that’s all I’m trying to say.

  For myself, I’m a simple girl with simple needs. I just want a man to be a man. Not a thug, though, never a thug. Not a rapist. God, no. A man. A real man. It’s really not that complicated.

  I’m waiting for Kelleen. She’s a friend I met when I first moved to the city – we recognized each other at the office as fellow souls, fellow seekers. She’s coming over to pick me up and I’m almost going to be late, sitting here writing like this, but I’m too excited not to jot a few lines down in this -- my new diary. I picked it up in a shop on the way to the subway. I hope it’s not just a new diary that I’ll be keeping but a whole new life as well.

  Tonight we’re going to a party to which Kelleen had to get special permission to invite me. The way Kelleen describes it - it’s a very exclusive party, with only the top people invited. The experts. The ones respected in their circles, both in their careers and in the lifestyle. I’m only a beginner. Oh, god, why not admit it to my own diary? I’ve only ever had vanilla, as they say. Kelleen says I look very good, though, and that I have a ‘look,’ that the people at this party will appreciate. I’m not sure I understand what that look is. A submissive look? I wonder what that is? Maybe it’s the natural red hair and fair skin. Maybe it’s the freckles?

  Anyway, Kelleen thinks I’ll be successful tonight and I’m really excited. I’m a little nervous, and I don’t want to sell myself short. I don’t want to date someone just to do it, just for the one time – but I’m a little tired of waiting and waiting for exactly what I want. I know it’s what I want, I just know it.

  Door bell. Kelleen --

  Saturday, May – early morning.

  The party was more than I could have hoped. I’ll try to remember everything—

  Kelleen and I arrived just at the right moment, when there were already plenty of people having conversations and our arrival had no adverse effect on the mood of the various groups of people arranged about the apartment. It was a luxury condo on the 20th floor, or so. It had an open plan, breathtaking views of Central Park. In the low light, I could see that the place was done very modestly, but modern with clean lines. Nothing out of place. Nothing fussy.

  Some easy jazz was being played on a sound system. Kelleen introduced me to the hostess, Caroline. I wondered briefly if she owned the condo, and wondered if I should compliment her on it, but I kept quiet. Caroline greeted Kelleen warmly, and took me in carefully when Kelleen introduced me.

  ‘This is the girl I was telling you about,’ she told Caroline. The hostess smiled, but said nothing, looking at me carefully. Even under this woman’s gaze, I felt my body tingling. Was it danger that I sensed? No, only the excitement of the moment I had waited for, for months, or even – my whole life?

  After a only a few moments, Caroline guided us into the large living room where most of the people were in little groups. It was a large room with ceiling high windows and that incredible view. Caroline took me by the arm and guided me and Kelleen to where a group of three men chatted with drinks. They were clearly the three most eligible men present and I had to hold myself carefully to keep from trembling. I wished we had some kind of drinks to hold, but no one offered anything and Kelleen and I stood still. We stood silently, as if commanding them with our silence. It was the oddest sensation, that I was somehow in control of this. The tallest of the three smiled at me and nodded.

  ‘Caroline, your new guests are very lovely,’ Said the tall one. He was strangely handsome in an alien sort of way. Fair skin tone, but dark hair that he allowed to be curly though carefully styled. I was able to hold his gaze without staggering, without falling on the floor. His power to dominate was palpable but his appearance was stunning in any case. It was hard to stay calm.

  ‘I’m David Whitefield,’ he said. Caroline took her cue from this and introduced us all around, then quickly left us to greet a new group of people arriving in the foyer. David stepped close up to me and, ignoring everyone else said to me,

  ‘You know what kind of party this is, don’t you?’ I
nodded and said I did, lifting my face to his, so tall above me. His dark hair curled with an innocence that belied his stare which was cold. His eyes were the color of ice, an icy blue. Our eyes locked and we held each other’s gaze for a long moment.

  ‘Do you think you’d like to get to know me better?’ he asked. It was a deep voice, like I’d imagine an opera singer’s voice would be. Then without waiting for any kind of an answer from me he said, ‘Let’s sit down somewhere,’ and took my elbow, guiding me away from Kelleen and the others without another word.

  I let my mind go blank, as blank as I could and let David Whitefield lead me by the arm down a hallway to a small room with a sofa and just one other couple, sitting in a love seat. The two were sitting quite close, the man’s hand was on the woman’s face, but when they saw David and me, the man smiled and nodded, and guided the woman out. David shut the door behind them, and he sat down while I stood before him, still without a drink, still trembling.

  It was so exciting, so thrilling but so frightening at first! David made himself comfortable on the sofa, setting his drink on a side table. Then he set to asking me a bunch of silly questions about my upbringing and did I like my job. He sipped his drink, quietly holding my gaze, then told me he was the owner of a financial company and other international concerns and on the board of a number of charitable foundations. He said he owned a condo in the building on a higher floor. He very briefly told me about his hometown, his education and some things he enjoyed doing in his spare time, including boating and flying. Or was that fly fishing? I don’t know. I don’t care. I think I must have seemed a little inattentive, because he smiled and laughed after a moment, as if to acknowledge that this part of our meeting was a complete bore to him, too.

  Finally he asked me what I thought of his appearance. ‘You’re lovely,’ I said without a smile. I could tell at that moment that I was still holding still without trembling outwardly. I suddenly felt much more in control, as he asked me his questions. ‘Very handsome,’ I added, and he smiled at me to hear me say it.

  ‘Jo. I will want to do everything with you, Jo, do you understand? I will not hold back in anything we do. Is that acceptable to you? Would you like that, Jo?’ The way he let the sound of my name roll off his tongue was delicious, and though it seemed odd for him to repeat my name so often, I answered him.

  ‘Yes, that is acceptable,’ I said. David Whitefield narrowed his eyes. He regarded me for a long while, then he said,

  ‘It’s all up to you, you know. Everything. It’s really nothing to do with me. Do you – accept that responsibility?’ I told him I did. He asked me for my safe word, and I told him.

  ‘If you ever use your safe word, I will of course stop whatever we are doing immediately. Unfortunately, once you use your word, you’re to leave the club and never come again. That’s a rigid stipulation, and everyone here abides by it, I’m afraid. Did Kelleen --.’ I interrupted him then, and without meaning to sound so rude said, ‘Yes, yes.’ He laughed more loudly, now and he seemed more relaxed. When he spoke again there was almost a purr in his voice.

  ‘Hmm,’ he said. ‘I thought I recognized a bit of eagerness when I saw you. Impatience. Lucky I saw you first.’ He sipped his drink, and seemed to consider the situation for a moment.

  He stood abruptly, and stepped up to me. He combed his fingers through my hair, looking at it, taking in the color, I suppose.

  ‘Turn around,’ he ordered and I obeyed. He let his hands rest on my shoulders, and drew me against him, slipping his hands over my breasts, kneading gently. I sucked my breath in hard as he squeezed my nipples under my dress. I felt the wet gather within me as his hands slid down my body to my hips and belly. My sex was on fire, and I tried to press my legs together for whatever comfort that might afford me, but there was nothing I could do, the only cure for the fire was more fire. I begged him in my mind to keep his hands moving over me.

  ‘We’ll try each other out tonight, hmm?’ he murmured in my ear. ‘You agree, then? Good. All right.’

  He resumed his seat on the sofa and sipped his drink again.

  ‘You may face me again,’ he said. He put down the drink decisively on a side table. My thighs trembled, I was sure he could see the movement as he looked me up and down. His ice blue eyes caught my gaze at length and he said, ‘Take off your clothes.’

  His words were easy and casual, but they lit my whole body on fire. I can’t tell you the freedom, the confidence I suddenly felt. It was as if I’d been locked in a cage all my life and was suddenly my own person. I thought of the ridiculous boys I had had sex with before this moment and laughed to myself as I compared them to David, who sat so confidently before me, so patiently. The timid looks, the ridiculous conversations. The asking. The hesitation. I looked quickly at David’s silhouette in the dimmed light, leaning comfortably, confidently against the cushions. I glimpsed his enormous hands, one resting on his thigh, the other on the arm of the sofa. I tried to picture his cock, but couldn’t even distinguish its outline in the dimmed light. I saw his hands again and imagined them on my skin and felt the heat in my body building.

  I undressed slowly, but not teasingly, trying hard to behave naturally. I had to fight with myself to keep from rushing. I laid my things on a chair. I didn’t wear any under things, as Kelleen had instructed and I was soon naked except for my shoes, a respectable heel. When I was done I stood still, squared off before him, confident in what I brought to the table, at least as far as this first moment was concerned. I’m quite confident about my body. David seemed to like me with my shoes and nothing else, and he smiled again. Then he raised his eyebrows, and whirled his hand around in a circle, instructing me to turn around.

  He had me turn in a circle a few times, he had me walk around the room and I obeyed. He directed me to put my hands behind my head. He directed me to walk past him quite closely, then to stand at the end of the room as far from him as was possible, then come back before him. He had me turn my back to him and bend over. He even had me pull my cheeks apart so he could see my backside better. Then he told me to go to the end of the room and get down on the floor. ‘Hands and knees,’ was his command, and I dropped on all fours to crawl across the carpet toward him, as he directed. He smiled as I crawled toward him at a measured pace.

  ‘That’s right,’ he said, ‘Not too slow, not too fast. Good.’

  I crawled before him, and sat up when I was right in front of him, like a dog. He parted his lips in another smile.

  ‘Crawl up, now and lie across my lap, come around here. Your ass should be right about here.’ He demonstrated with his large flat right hand where my ass should be. I sat up on my knees, and looked into his face, we were quite close, now. I suddenly worried that I would wet the fine wool of his suit. But David was smiling and relaxed. I was reassured that if I did make a wet spot, he wouldn’t mind at all.

  His arms were extended, waiting for me to take my place across his knees and I knelt up, and draped the length of my body across this lap, confident that I had more or less attained the position he desired.

  ‘A little further, on,’ he said, and smacked my backside twice. This took me off guard, and I could feel the heat rise in my face and the wet gather inside me as the sting of his slaps took hold of me. No one had ever done this to me before, but I didn’t have time to relish the sweet burning sensation. I adjusted my position as well as I could and at last he seemed satisfied.

  ‘Yes, good,’ he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. My thoughts were spiralling madly, and I was thinking of all the things he might easily do to me in this position, where he might put his hands.

  I put my hands behind my head again, and I heard him sigh and hum a sound of approval. I hoped he liked the fact that I took my proper stance without his having to remind me. I waited, then, and he sat quietly for a several moments without moving. I was suddenly apprehensive, just the way I was at the beginning of the evening when I felt my body trembling, but then he put his hands o
n my skin.

  He laid both hands on me, caressing my back and my backside and it was pure heaven.

  His hands were masterful as he kept one on the small of my back, the other on my backside. I let out small groan of satisfaction, and I heard him chuckle as he continued to touch me. Reverently, gently at first, he caressed me but then he dug his fingers into my buttocks kneading my muscles there, deeply. Then he passed his hands all over me, down my legs, up my back to the back of my neck until I was shaking all over. He reached down and around me to feel my breasts, assessing them, pinching my nipples. He circled my waist with both hands, and could almost round it completely with his long fingers.

  He seemed satisfied, and I heard him rumble out a little hum of completion. He returned his attention to my ass again, parting my cheeks. I could feel him lean closer to look at me, to inspect my secret openings, and he actually blew on them. I felt my skin cool with the bit of wet that had gathered there and it was madding, I craved more of his touch. I wondered if and when he might take me. Tonight? Could he? Here in this funny little sitting room? On this sofa, or on the floor with the door unlocked? How undignified. Would he haul me out to the party, and have me in front of the general company? Or was it even allowed – at this party? With this particular group of people in the apartment? Oh, yes, I thought, do any of these things, do any of them! I thought. David.

  Yes, I said his name in my mind, David, David, I repeated it over and over again, falling in love with it already, falling in love with him this total stranger. David. Needing, wanting everything he had to give me. I felt him adjusting his position on the sofa, and it seemed as though he was reaching for something.

  He told me to spread my legs, and though I complied, he shoved my legs apart a little impatiently. His hands were on my legs again, travelling up, and up, and then they were spreading my ass cheeks apart again. I heard something – a click of plastic? And I felt something gooey, wet and cool between my cheeks, then his finger was spreading the liquid up and down my crack, dragging slick fingers over the tightened muscle of my anus, then down again to my sex, pushing his fingers in a little, then back up to my puckered rose – it was heavenly torture.