Twice the Trouble

by Sandra Dailey

  “What that means is…you can’t always have everything your way. When we’re married, I won’t be your lap dog.”

  “No need to worry. I’m not ever going to marry you.”

  “Why?”

  “I’ve already told you. This just isn’t enough.”

  “Oh, right,” he replied with sarcasm. “You want more, the magical, mysterious more. Has it ever occurred to you that we all want more? I know I do.” Alex backed her against the wall with his forward movement, stopping only inches from touching her. “Every time I look in your eyes, I feel like I’m soaring through a clear blue sky.”

  He bunched the back of her hair in his hand. “Every time I see your hair I want to touch it, smell it, and rub it against my face. I dream about what it would look like spread across my pillow. When you speak, my eyes are drawn to your lips.” He lightly kissed her. “I want to taste the honey sweetness of your mouth. I want to steal your breath for my own. I want to hear you whisper my name like a lover.”

  Alex drew the strap of Lacey’s nightgown off her shoulder, exposing the top of her soft round breast where he placed another small kiss. “Your scent drives me insane with the need to taste every inch of you until you beg for more.”

  His hand traveled up her leg, just to the edge of her panties. “When I touch you, I want to bury myself so deeply inside you that we no longer qualify as two separate people. I want to drive myself in your silky tightness until you come apart in my arms and drain me.”

  Lacey’s eyes felt sleepy. Her chest rose and fell with every rapid breath. Her light cotton gown felt constricting. She ached to touch Alex, to kiss him, to give him all he’d asked for.

  A thump from overhead drew both their attention. It reminded them they weren’t alone. The kids could be back in an instant.

  “We don’t always get what we want.” Alex grabbed his keys from his pocket. “When you figure out what more is to you, give me a call.”

  Lacey watched from the living room window as Alex drove away. She knew she’d overreacted and come off like a shrew. Why couldn’t she control herself around him? How had her life gotten so complicated?

  She ran upstairs and quickly changed into a blouse and jeans. She had work to do, unlike some people.

  When she returned to the kitchen, Jenna was quietly making sandwiches at the counter. She didn’t face her mother. Lacey knew the kids were going through almost as much turmoil as she was. She’d have to find a way to smooth things over for them, but right now she had more pressing matters to pursue. She pulled the truck keys off the peg by the door.

  “Hold down the fort for me, honey. I’ll be at Granddad’s house if you need me.”

  “Mom.” Jenna swung around in near panic. “Are you sure you should go by yourself?”

  “Jenna, last night is history. I can’t say I’m over it, but I can handle it. I’ve dealt with Clarence Carlyle for years. He can’t hurt me anymore than he already has. Now, it’s about damned time he gave me some answers.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Lacey didn’t bother to knock on her grandfather’s door. This had been her home at one time, and he was her family. She walked straight through the house until she found him in the kitchen.

  His back was to her as he poured himself a cup of coffee. He poured a second cup and brought them both to the table. If Lacey didn’t know better, she’d think he’d been expecting her. How would he know she’d ever speak to him again?

  Clarence sat at the table and silently poured cream in his cup from the little pitcher in the center of the table. He blew into his coffee, and then took a sip. “Have a seat. You make me nervous, just standing there.”

  Lacey had always obeyed her grandfather. It was a habit she’d been taught from childhood. A person respected their elders no matter how bad they were. She sat across from him and said the first thing that popped into her mind. “What is wrong with you, Granddad?” Respect only stretched so far.

  Clarence didn’t have to ask what she meant, he knew. “Funny, you should ask, I’ve been wondering the same thing for years.”

  Was that self-loathing she heard in his voice? Oh no, she would not let him turn this around on her. She would not feel sorry for him. She was the one who’d been hurt by his actions.

  “I always knew you didn’t like me. But I had no idea how much you hated me. You even hated my mother, and all she ever did was love my dad. You barely tolerate Jerrod and you don’t have anything to do with Jenna.” A lump formed in Lacey’s throat and tears burned her eyes. “My dad may have been the only person you ever cared about, but even that wore thin before he died. You were so tough on him. Have you always hated everyone? What made you so angry and unyielding?”

  As much as Lacey willed her grandfather to look her in the eye, he wouldn’t. He stared into his coffee cup. She began to wonder if he’d ever answer. Finally he did.

  “I loved your father. That’s why I was hard on him. I didn’t want him to end up like me.”

  “You wanted him to be exactly like you. You wanted him to be a businessman and care about nothing else. You wanted him to be cold and closed off. You hated that he fell in love.”

  “Yes, I did. Nothing good comes from it. It’s not real. All you get is pain.”

  “How can you say that?” Lacey was truly shocked by his claim. “You must have loved my grandmother, the result being my father. It’s a shame you had to lose her so early, but it happens and you have to move on.”

  Clarence huffed. It couldn’t have been a chuckle because he didn’t look amused. He looked sad. Then, he said something that truly shocked Lacey. “Did someone tell you that your grandmother died, or is that just an assumption?”

  Lacey thought back to the only time she’d asked about her grandmother. It had been during a conversation with her mother. “Your dad lost his mom at a very young age. He doesn’t even remember her.” Lost, exactly what did that mean?

  “I guess I just assumed,” Lacey mumbled. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the truth.

  “When I met Maggie I was twenty-two. I was a handsome man then, and I had plenty of girls chasing after me. I’d never felt an instant attraction to any woman the way I did her, though. It was on a Saturday. Our church was hosting a picnic for the church in Citrus. Maggie came off that church bus wearing a dress with pink flowers all over it. She had on one of those pillbox hats. Her hair was the same color as yours. I’d just gotten a job as a teller at the bank. I guess that’s why I mustered up the courage to talk to her. I was feeling like a big man. The way she smiled at me…”

  During his pause, Lacey didn’t know what to say. She’d never seen such a dreamy expression on her grandfather’s wrinkled old face.

  “Anyway,” he went on, “I went about courting her. She was almost twenty and lived at home. Although they seemed to be nice enough people, she was unhappy living with her parents. She said they were too strict and she wanted to get out in the world. It only took me a few months to ask her to marry me. I was so taken with her I couldn’t wait. By the very next year, John, your father, came along. I was so proud I could have popped my vest buttons. However, Maggie was already getting restless. She constantly complained that we didn’t have enough money. I’d work harder at the bank to try to get a raise, and she complained that I was never home. I desperately wanted to make her happy.

  “My hard work at the bank paid off. John was two-years old the day I was made Loan Manager. I came home early. I wanted to take her out for dinner at the diner in town to celebrate. One of the neighbor ladies was here, taking care of John. Maggie was out shopping. I found out she went shopping every Friday afternoon. I waited for hours. When she came home she was wearing that same pink flowered dress she’d worn the day I met her. She also had on a new gold necklace shaped like a heart. She told me she bought it for herself with some of the money she’d saved using coupons. I believed her.”

  When he paused again, Lacey didn’t think she wanted to hear any more. Then, she de
cided this might be exactly what her grandfather needed. She poured them each more coffee.

  “She was happy with the extra money for a little while,” Clarence continued. “But you know how it is. With some people, it’s never enough. Soon, we were fighting more than ever. It was a Wednesday when I came home to find the same neighbor as before watching John. He was three-years-old by then. She told me she’d been watching him almost every day for months. I waited for hours again. Finally I decided to change clothes. That’s when I saw that her side of the closet was empty.” He lifted his hands, palms up, and shrugged.

  Lacey couldn’t leave it at that. She had to know the rest of what had poisoned her grandfather’s life. “Did you ever hear from her after that?” Her voice felt as weak as her grandfather looked.

  “Two years later.” Clarence took a deep breath. “She called from a honky-tonk in Texas. She was drunk. She wanted a thousand dollars. She said I owed it to her for stealing her youth.” He chuckled. “I wonder how much she thought my heart was worth, because she’d taken it with her when she left. I didn’t divorce her until after that call.”

  “You never loved anyone after she’d gone?”

  “No. I’d never let myself be such a fool a second time. I’d been weak and vulnerable. I didn’t want that for your father, but I couldn’t tell him about his mother and he wouldn’t listen to reason anyway. When I learned what was happening between you and the Benson boy, I wanted to spare you that pain too.”

  “But you didn’t, Granddad. Instead of Alex, it was you that broke my heart. I don’t know if I can ever get past that.” Lacey walked to the sink with her cup. She rinsed it out and set it on the counter. Without turning to face him, she added, “I don’t know why, but I love you. I’m sure the kids do too. You’re all the family we have. We’re all you have. I’m sorry for what happened, but I want you to think about how you want the future to play out. Think about how different it could be, if you were to put the past behind you.”

  “Leopards don’t change their spots, Lacey.”

  “Your spots were painted on by your own brush. My grandmother had no right to treat you that way, but you had no right to make everyone around you suffer for it. Now, you can wash those spots off and start living again, or you can die a lonely old man. It’s your choice.”

  On her way home, Lacey chided herself for not taking her own advice. Maybe it was time for her to forgive the past as well.

  She wanted to move forward. Perhaps that’s why she still hadn’t opened any of Alex’s letters. But could she say, after all these years that Alex was definitely the man for her? All her feelings for him were tied to their past, or she thought they were.

  She needed time to think, time to figure out what was holding her back, what was missing.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Alex paced the floor in his private sitting room. He couldn’t concentrate on a book. When he tried to watch a television program his mind wandered and he lost track of the story line. Thank goodness he’d had his work and unpacking to keep him busy earlier. Otherwise he would have gone bonkers by now.

  He’d tried to call Lacey on Saturday to set up their date for that night, but Jenna answered. After leaving him waiting for several minutes, she’d said her mom wasn’t feeling well and planned to go to bed early. She didn’t feel up to going out.

  On the third attempt Sunday, he got through to Jerrod. The boy explained that he and his sister had been at church that morning, and then gone fishing in the afternoon. He said his mom had just gone upstairs to take a bath and he would tell her to call back. She didn’t call.

  Now it was Monday evening. Alex was determined to wait for Lacey to make the next move. He wasn’t going to act like a love struck teenager.

  Maybe Lacey was right to take time to think things over. Perhaps he should do the same. His original intentions had flown out the window the minute he’d touched his lips to hers. His body came to attention, just from the memory. Things were moving too quickly.

  Alex decided he’d gone too far when he’d accused her of making him her lap dog. Or perhaps it was that inexplicable more that was coming between them. He definitely should have kept his hands to himself, but he’d had a head of steam and once he started he couldn’t stop himself. Dammit, why couldn’t women make sense?

  Wearing only a white ribbed undershirt and boxers, Alex passed his reflection in the mirror. He rubbed his right palm over his left shoulder and down his arm. Maybe the more she needed was a man that hadn’t had so much of himself burned away.

  How long had it taken for him to be able to touch his own scars without feeling nauseated?

  Sure, she could be clinical and compassionate about it in the light of day, but maybe this isn’t what she wants to hold on to in the night. Could he blame her?

  Alex pulled on a pair of old blue sweatpants. He exchanged the undershirt for a long-sleeved gray T-shirt. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d gone for a run at night to burn off negative energy. At least Indian Lakes was safer than Orlando and had a lot less traffic.

  To his surprise, the front doorbell rang. Maybe an old friend had heard he was back in town. He hadn’t had time to socialize since he moved in. He didn’t care if it was a vacuum cleaner salesman or a Bible thumper. Anything would be better than driving himself crazy worrying about Lacey.

  He found Jenna standing on his doorstep wearing a backpack. She had a pillow under one arm and a beat-up teddy bear under the other.

  “What are you doing out at this time of night?” She walked past him and laid her things in the nearest chair. “Were you planning to move in?”

  “I was at Stacy’s house for a sleepover, but then I started feeling really sick.” Her bottom lip poked out. “Maybe I ate too much raw cookie dough.”

  “That would do it for me,” Alex grumbled. “Does your mom know you’re here?”

  “No, I was just down the street and I thought I’d see if you could take me home.” She looked at him with innocent, puppy dog eyes. “If I call Mom, I’ll have to wait for her to get here before I can get back to the farm.”

  “If I drive you, are you going to barf in my beemer?” Alex cringed.

  “I promise I won’t,” Jenna smiled. “But if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll carry a plastic bag.”

  “I’ll get my wallet and keys,” Alex sighed, “You get the plastic bag.”

  ****

  Lacey had been avoiding Alex for days, but she could hardly refuse to open the door to him when he had her daughter in tow. Her motherly concern overruled her embarrassment, and really that’s all it was. She’d been embarrassed by her weakness when she’d seen his letters. She’d been embarrassed that she allowed him to lie in her bed and hold her the whole night. Her life was out of control and Alex had a front row seat to witness it.

  After Jenna was tucked into her bed and checked over, Alex kissed the girl on the forehead. “At least she’s not running a fever. I hope she feels better soon.”

  “Oh, I’m sure she’ll feel better by tomorrow,” Lacey replied drolly. She knew when her kids were sick and when they were faking. Jenna was definitely faking. But why?

  She turned off the light and went back down the stairs. Alex followed. As soon as her foot left the bottom step he said, “You broke our date.”

  “I don’t remember you asking me on a date.”

  “I wasn’t going to force you to go out with me. You had your chance to say no. So what’s the problem? Did you decide you didn’t want to be seen with me in public?”

  Lacey suddenly remembered his scars. He’d told her how people had reacted to them in the past, especially women. She couldn’t let him think she was like them. All she could think to do was tell him the truth. “It’s not that I didn’t want to go.” She groped for the right words. “The truth is…I was embarrassed.”

  “Embarrassed, by what?” He narrowed his eyes and tightened his jaw as if preparing himself for a blow.

  She was handling this badly.
“I don’t usually break down like that. You must think I’m an emotional train wreck.”

  “Do you remember our first kiss?” His body visibly relaxed and his eyes softened. “It was after your parents’ funeral.” He stepped closer and she stepped back. “You were devastated.” He came closer still and she kept backing away. Why did she keep resisting him? “Mrs. Dell made that nasty comment and you ran to the woods by the lake. That’s where we found our secret place.”

  The back of her legs came in contact with the edge of the sofa. Alex gently lowered her down and knelt in front of her. “I followed you. I thought you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen, tears and all.” Alex moved up to kiss her. A soft touch on her arm, a little nudge on her shoulder, and she found herself lying on her back. “I kissed you and we made love for the first time.”

  Lacey did remember. It had been the most incredible night of her life, and yet, Alex the boy couldn’t compare to the man that kissed her now. His kiss was soft and tender, slow and gentle. Her ears buzzed and she felt as though warm honey ran through her veins.

  When his lips left hers, she whimpered from the feeling of abandonment, but the warmth of his body stayed with her. His hands started at her quivering belly and slowly moved up. Her shirt and bra moved with them. The hot wet touch of his mouth on her breasts caused a sensation in her body she’d almost forgotten existed. The tug of his lips caused her back to bow, begging for more. Instead of words, she released another pleading whimper. He answered with a growl.

  He trailed kisses down her stomach, stopping to lick her belly button. She knew it was a promise of better things to come. When his hands gripped each sides of her waistband her hips instinctively rose.

  Suddenly, the back screen door slammed in the kitchen. She’d forgotten that Jerrod would be coming in from the barn. This couldn’t be happening again.

  “You have to go.” Tugging her clothes into place was difficult with his body hovering over hers. She pushed him away and stood.