by S. E. Brown
Talking about the labor was difficult. Even after all of these years and having met Issy, she still felt like she was a bad person for letting another family raise her child.
“I can’t imagine how extremely difficult that decision would have been. And you’ve had this hiding in you, in your heart, all this time?”
Nodding, the tears started to flow in earnest down Madison’s cheeks and Ryan pulled her close for a hug. “I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that, Mad.”
Trying to smile, she pulled back from Ryan and wiped the tears from her face.
“So why today? What made you want to tell me now?”
Madison took a deep breath. “She found me.”
“Your daughter?” The shock was written all over Ryan’s face.
Madison nodded.
“But … how?”
Madison continued, explaining how Issy showed up at her house with the picture and letter from Ellie.
“That’s kind of incredible, Mad. I always wondered about that tattoo and what it meant to you.”
“The Story of Ferdinand was Ellie’s favorite story as a child. She gave me the book when I was pregnant. It was the only story I ever read to the baby.”
“And now it makes perfect sense,” Ryan smiled. “But, how did you end up in Wilmington?”
Madison continued again, talking about the trip to the store, ending up in Wilmington, Declan and Issy coming to find her and the letter from Ellie that had been left for her.
“Holy crap, Mad. You’ve had one hell of a couple of days, you know that?”
“I do,” Madison nodded solemnly.
“So where do you go from here? What happens next?”
Sighing, Madison admitted, “I’m not sure. Issy’s a really great person. Funny, caring. And the more I talk with her, the more I see bits of Jeremy and me in her. It’s so weird to look at another person and see pieces of yourself reflected back at you.
“I don’t really know what she wants. We haven’t talked about it yet. I just don’t want to push myself on her. I do know I’d like to get to know her better, spend time with her, but I want it to be on her terms. The last thing I want to do is disrupt her life.”
“It sounds like this is something she wanted, otherwise she wouldn’t have sought you out.”
“Maybe,” Madison thought out loud. “I also don’t want her parents to think I’m trying to take their place. I mean, they raised her. The last thing I want to do is have them think I’m trying to come in and take over after they put in all the work the last nineteen years.”
“I hardly doubt that’s what they’d think. Do they know she found you yet?”
“They didn’t as of this morning. Issy was waiting until she got back home to call them.”
“Wow,” Ryan sighed.
Madison nodded and finished her bottle of cider. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before,” she offered.
“Mad, hon. You know what you tell me and what you don’t is entirely up to you. You weren’t ready to share that yet, and that’s okay. Completely okay.”
“You’re too good to me,” she grinned.
“You’re probably right.”
The conversation turned lighter as Madison filled in some of the holes Ryan had always wondered about but never pushed to fill. Based on their conversations, she knew there were things in Madison’s past that haunted her, but she also knew they would be shared when Madison was ready to talk about them.
Then out of the blue, Madison sprung an idea on Ryan. “I know it’s late, but what do you think about having everyone over for a BBQ? It’s a beautiful afternoon.”
“You’re nuts, you know that?”
“What? You sold me on this deck back when you guys were dating and we haven’t had nearly enough parties out there.”
“It’s like, four o’clock, Mad.”
“We’d better start texting people then, ya think?”
Ryan laughed, knowing if Madison had it in her head to have a BBQ, there wasn’t a chance anything was going to happen but that. “Let me call Cody and ask him to hit the grocery story for food and beer.”
“Yes! Party at the Calloways!”
Hearing that made Ryan’s smile even bigger. “I really like the sound of that!”
Ryan dialed the phone and Madison saw her friend’s face light up when the conversation started. If it had been anyone else’s house, she would have never made the suggestion, but it was Ryan. She knew the girl liked having everyone over just as much as she did.
“Hey babe. What are you guys up to?”
“Yeh? Any chance you want to come back home?”
“Umm… no. Not for that. I love you babe, but Madison is here.”
Ryan laughed at whatever Cody’s response was, and Madison could only imagine. She didn’t call him “sex-on-a-stick” for nothing.
“We were thinking of having a BBQ tonight.”
“Yeh, I know.”
“So, think you guys could stop and pick up some burgers? Oh, and don’t forget hotdogs, in case Jake and Abby come, too.”
“You’re the best.”
“Yes, I’ll pay you back … later. Love you, babe. See you in a bit.”
Madison laughed out loud as Ryan disconnected the call. She should have asked Declan for the keys to his place so she wouldn’t have to stay and listen to Cody and Ryan’s late night activities.
“Do we have time to pick up some earplugs?” Madison cringed when Ryan sat back on the couch.
“Oh shut it,” Ryan laughed, but it was cute how her face turned just the slightest bit pink.
“You wanna let everyone else know? I need to send Declan a text, and then I can help you get things ready.”
“Yeh, don’t be thinking that topic is off the table. You have a lot of explaining to do.”
Madison grinned. “Oh, I’d be happy to give you all the sordid details.”
Madison: Hey you. I made it to Ryan’s.
Declan: I just dropped Issy off at your place to get her car.
Madison: Thanks for doing that. I told her.
Declan: How’d it go? She still love you?
Madison: Yes, she does. :P In fact, she didn’t even shoot me when I suggested having a BBQ.
Declan: A BBQ? With everyone? Without me?
Madison: Sorry. Think you could click your heels three times to join us?
Declan: No…
Madison: I wish you were here.
Declan smiled to himself. He loved hearing that from Madison. It had been a long couple of days, but he was anxious to see her again. He knew he’d owe Erin a favor for what he was about to do, but it would be worth it.
Declan: I could fly in.
Madison: I’m sorry, what?
Declan: You aren’t the only one with secrets, ya know.
Madison: And you just happen to have a plane in your back pocket?
Declan: Not exactly.
Madison: Then…?
Declan: I might have one at the airport.
Madison: You’re shitting me.
Declan: Nope.
Madison: Holy fuck, Declan.
Declan: LOL. Let me make a call or two. If all goes well, I should be there by the time Cody gets the first batch of burgers off the grill.
Madison: Are you serious? You’re going to fly here?
Declan: See you soon.
“Okay, really? I have never, in all the time I’ve known you, ever seen that look on your face.”
“What?” Madison tried to keep a poker face but was failing miserably.
“Yeh, ‘what?’” Ryan countered, her voice teasing. “I think you like Declan.”
“Okay, so what if I do?”
Ryan’s eyes grew big. “Really?”
Madison shrugged her shoulders but couldn’t stop the grin from forming.
“Does this mean I get to start working on the wedding invitations?”
“Um, NO. Do not put that pressure on me! This is still new and who the fuck knows
how it’s all going to go.”
“Okay, okay!” Ryan was giddy at the news. “I’m so excited for you. Declan is an awesome guy and you guys …” It was like she was so excited she could barely speak.
“Well, figure out how to use your mouth again because he’s going to be here in a couple hours.”
“He is?”
Madison nodded. “Apparently you didn’t know about the plane he had at the airport either?”
“No. It would appear they both left out that little detail.”
“Who knows. Maybe it’ll come in handy someday,” Madison grinned.
“Maybe.” Ryan shook her head in disbelief as she turned to the kitchen and started making a list of things to do. “Let me text everyone, see who can make it.”
Ryan: Hey guys. Madison made a surprise visit and we’ve decided to have a BBQ on the deck. Who’s in?
Madison: Hey guys! Party at the Calloways! Be here, or … just fucking be here!
Cody: Luke and I will be leaving soon to pick up meat and other stuff. Let me know if we need anything else.
Mac: Riley and I are in. We’ll pick up chips and dip.
Abby: Count us in, too. This kid is driving me nuts. Now he can drive you all nuts, too. :) We’ve got dessert covered.
Riley: Beer. Make sure you have beer.
Cody: Always, bro.
Chapter 21
Cody and Luke walked into the house with their arms full of grocery bags.
“Honey, I’m home,” Luke sing-songed as he followed Cody into the kitchen.
As soon as his hands were free, Cody turned to his wife and wrapped his arms around her waist.
“You owe me,” he whispered with a grin.
“I know,” she winked at him and gave him a kiss.
“Oh, come ON you two,” Madison groaned. “Are we going to have to send you to your room?”
“Okay!” Cody grinned excitedly and grabbed Ryan’s hand to pull her upstairs.
“I’m kidding! Get your ass back here!” Madison laughed and tugged on Cody’s hand so she could give him a hug. “Thanks for breaking up your playtime with Luke.”
“S’alright. We were just watching a game.”
Madison and Ryan looked at each other and broke into laughter.
“So predictable!” Madison teased as she tapped the hat on Cody’s head. “Are you ever going to retire this old thing?”
Cody took off his hat and looked at it. It was the same hat he was wearing when he found Ryan in the sand – it was old with a faded Cubs logo on it, and he loved it. “Nope,” he grinned as he put it back on his head and winked at his wife.
It didn’t take long before everyone but Declan had assumed their positions on the deck.
Riley and Mac, Cody’s brother and sister-in-law, were cuddled on the swing, both enjoying a beer.
Abby, Mac’s sister and Ryan’s long-time friend, was sitting in an Adirondack chair close to the edge. She was keeping an eye on her son, Jake, who was making a sand castle on the beach.
Luke, one of Cody and Riley’s best buds, was helping Cody with the grill.
Madison and Ryan were setting out the dishes of pasta salad, chips, and other fixings.
Madison met these people less than two years ago but it didn’t take nearly that long for them to become part of her family. Ryan had grown up spending her summers at the shore and had known everyone since she was a young teenager. Madison was the newbie to the group, but they never made her feel like it. They had accepted her, quirkiness, potty mouth, feistiness and all.
“So Madison, is there a particular reason for your surprise visit?” Mac piped up during a lull in the conversation.
“Well…” Madison looked to Ryan who smiled softly and shrugged. She knew it was up to her if she wanted to tell everyone, and that’s exactly what Ryan’s shrug had meant.
“Umm, okay.” Madison set down what was in her hands and faced everyone. “The very short story is, several years ago, I gave birth to a baby girl that I gave up for adoption.” She paused when she saw multiple sets of eyebrows rise at her announcement. “A couple days ago, she found me.”
It felt so good to say the words out loud. Madison knew she would have a lot of explaining to do to a variety of people, and she had been concerned about that. Having just said that to her friends, however, was easier and not nearly as scary as she thought it would have been.
Everyone looked at Madison, too stunned to say anything.
Mac handed Riley her beer, got up from the swing and walked toward Madison. Pregnancy was a difficult subject for Mac. Riley, too. They tried to get pregnant for several years and were successful three times, except each time the pregnancy had ended in a miscarriage. Not willing to chance the devastation of losing another baby, they had stopped trying.
Opening her arms, Mac gave Madison a tight hug. “I don’t know if this is a good thing or not, but I’m guessing by the smile on your face, it is. Congratulations sweetie,” she whispered with her southern drawl in Madison’s ear.
“Thank you, Mac.”
Madison knew of Mac and Riley’s troubles getting pregnant and wondered for a moment how Mac may view her. She had given away the one thing they had fought so hard to have.
Madison pulled back to look into Mac’s eyes and saw nothing but love and kindness reflected back at her.
“How old is she? Where does she live? How did she find you?” Abby peppered Madison with questions.
“One thing at a time, huh, Abby?” Ryan grinned at her friend.
Madison was thankful for the distraction. She and Mac smiled at each other before Mac turned to go back to the swing.
“Sorry. That’s just very exciting!”
“It is,” Madison smiled with a nod. “There are still a lot of things to figure out and conversations to have. So far, though, it’s been pretty great.”
“So … what’s her name?” Abby asked, this time one question at a time.
Madison smiled at Abby and began answering her questions. “Her name is Issy and she’s nineteen. She’s going to school at UNC to study business, and right now she’s working at Declan’s gym.”
As if on cue, the loud roar of a motorcycle came from the other side of the house.
“Well, speak of the devil,” Cody chuckled.
Madison looked to Ryan. “Declan?”
Ryan nodded with a grin.
Madison tried to play it cool but lost the battle as she made a beeline for the house. She could hear Cody laughing on the deck behind her, but she didn’t care.
When she opened the front door, she saw a man, the same height and size as Declan, swing his leg over a Harley and run his hand through his short blond hair. He had on a pair of dark jeans and a leather jacket, a pair of aviator sunglasses shielding his eyes from the sun.
“Is that your bike?” she asked, stunned by the sight of him.
He turned to look at her, pulling the glasses from his face. His instant smile reached his eyes and Madison could see it from where she stood. “It is.”
Madison started down the path as he walked toward her, meeting her in the middle.
“You’re just full of surprises today, aren’t you?”
Declan gave her a cocky grin and cupped her face to pull her to him. He pressed his lips to hers. “You have no idea.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for another kiss, one that showed him her appreciation for being there, for how he looked on his bike, for everything he’d done the past couple days.
“You keep that up, we’re going to miss the BBQ,” he told her in a sexy, low voice.
She smiled, moving her hand to his face and rubbing the soft stubble on his cheeks. “I think Ryan would kill me.”
“You’re probably right.”
They smiled at each other for a long moment, looking into each other’s eyes.
Declan’s expression suddenly turned serious. “You ready to go in there together? Everyone’s going to know.” He had a hunch
walking into a room, being on a man’s arm, wasn’t something Madison was used to. He was more than ready but would downplay their relationship, for now, and he wanted to give her that option. “I’m ready. Are you?”
In Madison’s past, she hadn’t played the girlfriend, not really since Jeremy. Between his death and her pregnancy, she had built her walls so high, with men in particular, having that sort of relationship just wasn’t possible for her. The situation with Declan was completely new for her, but she felt ready for it.
She put on a brave face and mustered up her confidence. ”Me, too.”
Smiling, Declan took her hand in his and led them to the front door. Once inside, he slid off his jacket and laid it on the back of the couch, leaving him in a tight, dark gray t-shirt.
He reached for her again. “One more thing before we go out there?”
“What’s that?”
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tight against him. Looking into her eyes, he wanted to tell her he missed her even though it had only been a handful of hours since he last saw her and tell her he was proud of the way she was dealing with all this news in her life, but he didn’t want to scare her. They were in a really good place, and he didn’t want to push it.
Madison looked in his warm eyes and felt her knees turn to mush. This man had a way of unraveling her she both loved and feared. He was very near a point where he could hurt her, do some real damage to her heart. But for the first time in a long time, she felt trust. She trusted he would handle her heart with care. “I missed you, too,” she whispered softly.
Declan moved his hands to cradle her face and brushed his lips against hers. When that wasn’t enough, he leaned into her and kissed her again and again and again.
Finally pulling back, Madison was breathless. “It’s going to be your fault if we never make it onto the deck.”
He grinned and placed a sweet kiss on the tip of her nose. “Come on then.”
Hand-in-hand, they walked through the house to the deck. Declan raised his free hand in a general hello to everyone but went over to Ryan, still holding Madison’s hand, to give her a one-armed hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for hosting tonight.”