by Woods, Karen
Morning light crept into the Cook household. Paul lay awake for a while as he knew what lay beyond his bedroom door. He couldn’t stand the thought of seeing his mother with more bruises on her face. Looking across to Shaun’s bed his faced screwed up as he saw the edge of his blanket sticking out underneath his brother’s bony arse. “Cheeky twat” he huffed. His body vaulted from his bed and grabbed his dazed brother by the scruff of the neck.
“You little prick. What the fuck have you done to my blanket?” Dragging his body up from the bed he yanked his cover towards him. Shaun rolled against the wall banging his head. You could hear Paul’s rapid breathing. His face now changed as he smelt the material. His nostrils were flaring as he realised his brother had pissed the bed again.
“Fucking pissed the bed again, have you?” he scowled. Shaun cowered away from him with his hands held over his face with one leg bent up towards his chest. Paul bent towards him dragging him out of the bed by his hair and threw him onto the floor. Shaun knew what was coming and curled up in a ball like an injured animal. “Pissy arse. You make me sick you little dickhead!” Paul ranted into his face. Shaun lay sobbing with both hands shaking over his head. His legs were drawn up tightly to his chest now trying to protect himself from his brother’s fury. Paul drew his leg back and swung it at his sibling with force. Screaming could be heard. “Have that you little shit!” he snarled.
“I’m gonna to tell my mam!” Shaun sobbed hoping the mention of his mother’s name might cause him to think twice. His plea fell on deaf ears as Paul dragged his face up from the floor covering his mouth so he couldn’t speak.
“Ay sonny boy. Do you think she’s gonna listen to you when she sees what you’ve done to the bed. You’re in deep shit ya wanker.” His face smiled down at him with evil eyes as he slowly dripped a mouthful of spit onto his face. Paul went out of the bedroom leaving his brother still crying on the floor.
“Fucking bastard!” Shaun whispered.
The walk down the stairs seemed like the walk of death for Shaun. Each stair seemed to creak no matter how softly he stepped onto it. Reaching the bottom stair he could smell the aroma of burnt toast. Stretching his arms he made his way to face his family. Pulling the door open slightly he could see his father stood at the stove watching the eyelevel grill. He was wearing his navy boxer shorts and a thread bare vest top. He looked fat and out of shape. Hearing his son behind him he told him to get his arse sat at the table for breakfast. Shaun trudged into the front room scratching his head.
Shaun’s eyes were still red from crying as he joined his sister and brother at the dining table. Paul smirked at him and mouthed the word “pissy arse” to his sister Kate as he pointed at Shaun. They both giggled and made fun of him without speaking. Shaun asked where his mother was. He needed her protection. Kate kicked him from underneath the table and gritting her teeth at him.
“Shut up ya geek.”
“Why what’s up?” Shaun moaned. He was now holding the centre of his arm as Paul had reached over and given him a dead arm. His face looked in pain as he tried to hide his torment.
All eyes were on his dad Mike as he brought a large pile of toast into the room. Shaun looked at his siblings across the table. He could see fear in their eyes and tried to work out what was going on. Mike sat on the sofa near them and you could see red scratches around his eyes. Shaun was always outspoken and he chatted to his dad with innocence.
“What’s happened to your eye dad?” He could feel Paul’s eyes burning into him and wished he hadn’t spoken at all now. Mike slowly ran his fingers over the raised skin on his eyes and turned to face his three children. His face snarled as his temper boiled.
“It’s your fucking nutter of a mother. I’ve had just about enough of her and her ways.” Paul knew he was lying through his teeth and held his tongue with difficulty. He wanted to plunge his fist deep into his face and you could see his clenched fist near his legs under the table. He’d felt like that for as long as he could remember.
His father was a bully and the sooner he was put in his place the better it would be for everyone. Paul wasn’t ready yet and hung his head low. Kate used the opportunity to leave the table and head upstairs to see if her mother was alright. Nobody missed her as her father was in the mirror checking out his injured eye.
Kate crept up the stairs. Facing her was her mother’s bedroom. Her hands trembled as she slowly opened the door. The room was dark and the closed curtains didn’t help her vision. Kate could just about see a body lay in the bed covered by the blankets.
She tiptoed across the floor and was aware of every creak the floorboards made. The room stunk of stale beer and old perfume. As she reached the bedside she shook her mother’s shoulder slowly.
“Mam are you alright?” At first there was no movement, but with another quick shake her mother turned to face her. Kate covered her face with her hands as she saw her for the first time. Her mother’s eyes were barely opened and the swelling stopped her from opening them fully. Gladys lifted her hands up and felt her eyes with her fingertips. Seeing Kate’s face she tried to calm her down.
“I’m fine. You know what he’s like when he’s pissed.” Her eyes rose to the ceiling as she blew a deep breath from her mouth. “We’ve just had a bit of an argument that’s all.” Kate watched the lying face in front of her and held onto her stomach. She felt sick inside and wanted to hold her mother in her arms but an invisible barrier was between them both. It’s just the way it was. The family had never showed emotion to each other and they all struggled to show any kind of feelings. The sound of her father’s voice sent fear through her body as she heard him shouting her name. “Kate. Kate. Where are you?” His voice seemed near. Kate now looked distressed as she fidgeted about at her mother’s bedside. She tiptoed quickly from the bedroom holding a finger up towards her mouth. “Ssshhh,” she said to her mother. Coming out of the room she crept into the toilet and replied to her father.
“I’m coming now dad, I’m just on the toilet.” The stairs creaking made her look and she could see her father’s face looking directly at her. His eyes shot to the open bedroom door and he knew she’d been inside. With a run in his step he raised his large hands up and whacked her round the head. “What’s that for?” she yelled.
“Get your arse down those stairs you nosey bitch. Don’t think I was born yesterday.” He pushed her body to the top of the landing and let her know he meant business. With a forceful shove she was at the top of the stairs. He was still ranting at her. “Get them pots washed. And start cleaning that shit tip downstairs. Tell them two to start helping as well.” She never replied. Slowly she headed down the stairs. Her head kept turning behind her to make sure he wasn’t following. Kate rubbed the back of her head and made her way back to her brothers.
Paul’s face was smiling at her when she entered the front room. “You got slapped. You got slapped,” he sung. He’d been stood at the bottom of the stairs and heard the slap she got from their father. He was giggling acting out the slap across the head. As she started to tell them the orders from her father, he playfully pushed her on the sofa doing some of his kung-fu moves on her. It was playtime and they all started toy fighting. They rolled about on the sofa pulling all the cushions from it and even Shaun joined in. Shaun sat on his sister’s body while Paul chopped her body with his hand. Laughter filled the room and it seemed to help cover the pain of a broken family. They were just kids having some fun.
Mike walked into the bedroom and spoke nervously to his wife. His voice let Gladys know he was ready to sort things out. This was the usual thing he’d do after a night of drunken violence. He pulled the covers back from the bed and nudged her over with his legs. She kept her back to him and cringed when she felt his hands crawling around on her skin. Mike gripped her closer and kissed the back of her neck. “Sorry love,” he whispered. She hated that she had no control of her life and there wasn’t a thing she could do to make him go away.
Gladys was in a deep hole
of desperation and she couldn’t see a way out. Her face told you that she wanted to tell him to take his dirty fucking hands from her body but she knew it would only result in more violence. He rolled her over to face him. As he looked at her face he stroked the bruises with soft touches. He shook his head and realised how bad her injuries were. Mike spoke with sorrow in his voice.
“I’m sorry love. Fucking hell your face is a right mess.” Gladys never said a word and just stared at him. No emotion was visible on her face. She was cringing inside. His body now climbed onto hers. Within seconds he’d entered her. She hated every minute of it and hated the man her husband had become. Within minutes the sex was over and he carried on as if nothing had happened. Gladys wanted to die. She felt alone and depressed with the way her life was going. Mike looked proud of himself as usual and he thought everything was fine between them. They’d just had sex so surely it was? Looking at her he spoke with his usual controlling tone.
“Right don’t be going out today with that face. Stay in and do something nice for tea. You can do some baking if you want.” His face looked surprised as if he was thinking. “In fact you can make a cheese pie for tea.” Her eyes closed as she exhaled deeply. Her words were stuck in her mouth and her lips were trembling. She didn’t know if she could take this any longer and wanted to end her life there and then. “I might go for a few pints this afternoon if you don’t mind?” he chuckled.
“Yeah okay,” she mumbled. Any time in the house without him would be appreciated.
Mike jumped from the bed. “Right, bath time I think.” Scratching his bollocks he left the room.
“I hate you. I fucking hate you,” she sobbed under her breath once he left the room. Her hands gripped the quilt cover and she hid her head away under the blankets crying her heart out.
Shaun helped clean up for a change. Usually he would have just been allowed to go out playing with his mates but today was different because his mother wasn’t there to protect him. The three of them cleaned the house. Every now and then Shaun would get a cloth whacked round his face from either Katie or Paul. The three of them played about as they carried out their father’s orders. Kate was polishing now and held a cunning look in her eyes. She crept behind Paul and squirted furniture polish into his face .Shaun was laughing his head off as he watched his brother fall to the floor holding his eyes. He secretly wished he would have been blinded forever then he would have been able to pay him back for all the torment he’d given him in the past.
Paul was sixteen and Katie was fifteen. Paul always thought he was the boss of them and tried to demand respect from them all the time. Kate and Shaun had given him the nickname of Sergeant Bilko. He was a complete tosser and always thought they had to obey his every word. Kate and Paul were always fighting and she never gave up without a good fight. Shaun loved his sister and they were very close at times.
*
The months went by and Mike finally left the family home for some slapper he’d met down the pub. Gladys had taken it badly and tried taking her life a few times. It was always the same; she’d take all her nerve tablets that she’d got from the doctor and neck a bottle of Vodka. She was always saved at the last minute though. She was dependant on Diazapam tablets and her nerves shook every day without them. The small white tablets were the only thing that kept her sane. The family was a mess, there was no doubt about it. Paul and Kate seemed to cope with the break-up better than Shaun and never really missed their father. They were free now to do whatever they wanted and they had no discipline in their lives. Shaun always felt alone and craved attention from anyone who’d give it.
Shaun found a friend that would never let him down. Evo-stick was the glue everyone was sniffing and he loved the way it made him feel. He first tried it for the first time with his mates and loved the buzz it gave him. The glue took him to a place where he felt happy and loved. Nothing seemed to matter when he was sniffing it. School was a distant memory for him now and the wag officer was always knocking at the door regarding his non-attendance. Most kids on the estate were the same and society had just given up on them.
Filling the plastic bag with glue Shaun headed off to a nearby field to rid himself of his family torments. Pouring the yellow sticky looking glue into the bag he sat in some bushes at the top of the hill. Once that was completed he squeezed the air from the bag and blew into it with force His mouth was placed at the top of the bag and he inhaled deeply to get the full effects from it. Shaun looked spaced out within minutes. His eyes were rolling and his head was rocking from side to side. The plastic bag was never far from his mouth as he kept topping up on his buzz. Shaun lay on the fields for hours until his glue was finished. Nobody missed him or even cared where he was. He felt peace within his body as the glue took him to a place he felt safe and secure.
Months went by and the glue was having a serious effect on him. Spots had formed around his mouth and nostrils. Paul knew Shaun was glue sniffing because his mates had told him. He’d wasted him a few times when he’d come in stinking of glue but it didn’t deter Shaun from seeking a quick fix. Pickle juice was Shaun’s way of disguising his breath after glue sniffing. He must have thought everyone was daft because no matter what he ate the stench of glue was always there.
Gladys was up to her neck in worry about her kids. She’d heard from several people that her children were going wild on the estate but couldn’t do a thing about it. She was a single parent now and didn’t have the strength to keep them in order. She was always tired and hated the way she felt about herself. If she’d have looked closer at her family she would have seen the truth right before her very eyes. Katie was gas sniffing and Paul soon got into the glue as well. The three of them were a mess and needed a firm hand to sort them out but without a father onboard they were all set for self destruction.
As with everything in life it always came at price. Shaun found that out the hard way. Money was tight and he knew he would have to hatch a plan to fund his habit. As he sat with his friends they all decided they would do bag snatches. They’d seen it on the TV many a time so how hard could it be? The youths planned to watch the banks and watch the people who left with money.
The day was quite cold and everybody was walking around with their heads dipped. Moston Lane was busy as always. The shops were heaving with people. It was around midday and everywhere looked busy. Shaun and his gang hid away in the entry facing the Lloyds bank. Once they’d seen an elderly lady going inside Shaun jumped up from the floor. “Right, wait here. I’m gonna run over the road and see what the old crinkly is taking out of the bank.” Steve started to get up to join him. With a flat palm Shaun pushed his head back down. “Nar wait here. It will be on top if we both go over!” Shaun moaned. Steve slid back down onto the floor and shot a look at the others with raised eyebrows. They watched Shaun now pull his hood up and jog across the road.
Shaun was now outside the bank pretending to read the notices on the window. His eyes cunningly gazed at the old lady stood at the cashier point. He could see some notes being slid under the counter and watched her place them neatly into her purse. He chewed on his bottom lip as his eyes danced about with excitement. She was now outside walking slowly up the street. Her bag was hung from her right shoulder and looked an easy target for him to grab. With one hand waving in the air he signalled to his mates across the road. Like a pack of hunting animals they watched the old woman as she walked down the road. They kept out of sight and walked slowly behind her as they huddled together. As soon as the woman turned into a side street, Shaun set off running at speed. As he reached her, he yanked at the brown leather bag hanging from her shoulder. The woman screamed as she tried to hold onto the strap of it. It was too late. Shaun was now running down the side street with her bag concealed inside his tracksuit jacket. The pensioner was screaming and waving her hands about in the air. She looked white in the face and sat on a nearby wall to regain her breath.
Shaun’s mates ran to follow him. He’d done well. They kne
w they’d be in for a cut of whatever was in the purse and ran to catch him up. Shaun ran until he was safely out of the area. He held the bag close to his chest and felt no remorse for what he’d done. Sitting down in some old flats on Fernclough Road he looked around making sure no one was about. His shaking fingers slowly unzipped the bag and cast his eyes over the contents.
The black leather purse was now open. Shaun grabbed a couple of the ten pound notes and shoved them inside his shoe. He was always a bit of a snide where money was concerned. The noise of his friends coming inside the flats made him quickly zip the bag back up. He shoved it back inside his jacket and pretended he hadn’t looked inside it yet. Shaun stood up and watched his mates come up the stairs. He stood tall and nodded. All their eyes focused on his tracksuit top as he pulled the bag from it with a smile on his face. He looked like a pirate who’d stolen some treasure. The lads punched their fist into the air. “Result,” Steve yelled.
“What’s in it?” shouted one of the lads who came to his side. Shaun smiled and with a cocky face swinging the bag about.