That was when I heard Dan and Austin arguing quietly. I couldn’t help using my increased hearing to eavesdrop. In beast form my hearing was even better, like many of my abilities, but I didn’t want to shift.
“We should wait,” Austin sounded very determined, which was unusual for him, since he was the diplomatic kind of guy. “This” – he was either gesturing at something or holding something – “is not proof enough. You’ve only read a few pages…”
“I’ve read enough!” Daniel gave back and his voice was shaking with agitation.
I needed to find out what this was about, so I put the sushi down, licked my fingers and made my way to the stairs, ready to confront them. The second my foot connects with the first step the discussion above falls silent, and that confused me. There’s only one explanation in my head. Daniel must have heard me and stopped the discussion. And that thought pains me. So, with anger starting to slowly boil around my heart, I march up the stairs and into Austin’s office.
“What is this about?” I demand to know and I see the two guys exchange glances, with their expressions unreadable to me.
“The plan didn’t work,” Austin explained and Daniel turned his back towards us, shaking his head.
I just know something is up, just as I knew right then and there that they were keeping it from me.
“They didn’t pull the board members,” Austin continued and sat down on the edge of his desk, crossing his arms. “And maybe that’s a good thing.”
“Why should that be a good thing?” I asked in disbelief.
“Because they call that place ‘the fortress’,” Daniel jumped in, crossing his arms in front of his chest as well. “And it also is the secondary compound.”
My anger was blown out by that information and replaced with frost.
“It’s not the usual hideout we had expected,” Austin offered to explain, but I lifted my hand to shut him up.
“I remember perfectly well what an effing bunker our compound was,” I shook my head. “I feel so stupid for not thinking of that.”
“We all thought that they wouldn’t spend that much money twice,” Daniel suggested. “And definitely not that they would put their fortress right into it. There was nothing at our compound that would have suggested something like that.”
“Because our compound was just a research facility,” I concluded. “Their ‘fortress’ is probably for training and monitoring what White saw as success.”
“White?” Both guys looked at me, confused.
“Severin,” I explained. “I didn’t know his name when I started my first diary.” I breathed out. “So, what’s our next target? I don’t mind plucking them off one by one.”
“You know that these people are living all across the country,” Austin explained and looked at me intensely. “And we cannot exactly board a plane, when they are looking for you everywhere.”
“Me? Why?” I asked.
“Because you escaped,” Daniel answered and I looked at him, realizing that he had stared at me since the moment I stepped into the room.
I didn’t have time to think about what happened between us. All I knew then, as I know now, is that it didn’t mean everything. It was just sex. I needed relief and he gave it to me. He was mine, as a beta to my alpha. Nothing more. Nothing less. I still belong to Jay. If I like it or not.
But I can’t fully deny what I feel for Dan either. I just don’t know what exactly it is. I’m pretty damn sure that I would have never had sex with him today if I had been in human form. It has to be the beast in me that is attracted to the beast in him. I just wish that he hadn’t turned soft on me, that is all.
Day 59
I skipped a day because there was nothing to write. Nothing that wasn’t new. But today, today I need to put it down because…. Fuck, what did I do?
When you’re locked in a room without daylight and fresh air, it drives you nuts. But when I was a prisoner, I didn’t have a choice. Now, I was the one locking myself in and I couldn’t handle it. Maybe, yes, maybe it was the full moon, I would like to blame it on that, but then again, I don’t like the idea to be submitted to that.
I threatened our whole plan, I threatened us, myself, my child. I don’t know why I seem to be less and less able to think straight. Maybe, I’m in full mother mode, which is ridiculous, because I haven’t seen a doctor even once. I didn’t look up any information about how to give birth, nurse, and take care of a baby. I know I’m pregnant, but it still feels so surreal.
I went for a walk at night. I snuck out and just walked. I needed the fresh air. I was desperate. I felt like I was losing my mind. I just needed to get out a little and feel like a human being, and I guessed that the area around our factory building would be forlorn at night.
And it is, mostly. But within walking distance there was a diner. I was so mad at Austin for not telling me about it. The scents originating from that place were so delicious. I could smell grilled meat above everything. God, I wanted to sink my teeth into a greasy burger so badly, I didn’t realize that I continued walking towards it. I didn’t notice the cheap aftershaves until it was already too late. The smell of cold cigarette smoke hadn’t alerted me. It should have. I knew then.
The men weren’t close, but from the steps and their heartbeats, I knew that they had already seen me. So, the best thing for me to do was to zip my sweater, pull my hood over my head and onto my face, and walk the other direction. My beast senses told me that I had their attention, and I could blame it on the fact that I was wearing shorts, exposing my slender legs to the cool night air. All I wanted was to cool off and breathe freely and now I had brought myself into a stupid situation.
I could hear the highway at a close distance and saw mostly trucks on the side of the diner. In human form my eyesight was only sharper, I could see better in the darkness, but not to the extent as when I had shifted. However, it was obvious to me now that it was a truck stop and that was maybe the reason Austin didn’t tell me about it. A girl like me would draw attention.
“Darling, are you lost?” I heard one of the men shout in my direction.
I counted three of them without looking up. It was their heartbeats. Ignoring them, I continued walking and stopped myself from walking faster. The last thing I wanted was to make them want to catch me. And then I realized. They weren’t a threat. I was.
I shouldn’t have thought this. Even though it was and is true. It made me feel more self-secure and unconsciously I straightened up. Maybe a part of me wanted to challenge them. What a stupid, childish idea.
“Hey, he’s talking to you!” A different guy yelled, slurring slightly, gulping down his drink and tossed the empty can across the asphalt floor.
“No manners these days,” the third one laughed and for a moment it seemed they had accepted me ignoring them and decided to get back into the diner.
They had followed me across the parking lot that was empty in front of the building and the remains of the lines on the ground showed that this part of the lot was meant for cars. Had Dan and Austin gotten the van from here? Thinking of them, I knew I should get back.
I wasn’t attentive. The worst possible thing had already happened to me, it couldn’t happen again. I had simply assumed that these men would go back, but I hadn’t heard a door. I hadn’t heard them talking either.
“You are lost, are you, darling?” The first man said, as I passed by him, who was leaning next to the diner’s door.
Looking up was nothing more than a reflex, but it made the hood drop off my head.
“Such a pretty girl shouldn’t walk all alone at night,” he stated the obvious. “Let me give you a ride home.”
I looked around, searching for his friends.
“With what car?” I asked, not able to stop myself.
I should have kept my mouth shut and listened for his friends, not encouraging him to continue talking, which would drown my hearing. I couldn’t find their heart beats. Still, I knew that they were there, somew
here.
“I park around the back,” number one explained and gestured with his hand. “Come on. I’ll drive you home. You must’ve walked for quite some time. Or were you at one of these underground parties the kids have out here?”
“Yeah,” I answered and started walking again; the hell I would walk into his trap. “My friends are waiting.” That wasn’t even a lie.
“Sure, you don’t want a ride?” He asked, and for a second I hesitated.
Maybe he was a good guy, maybe he didn’t have any other intentions than to drive me home.
“Yeah, I’m sure, thanks,” I gave back and continued walking back to where I came from.
The diner was the only illuminated place, apart from the street on the other side of the building that lured in truckers from the highway. I could still smell the meals being prepared. And I thought that I could maybe convince the guys to go there, just once.
“Ugh,” number one mumbled, and I could hear something metallic, like a spider wrench fall to the ground.
Instinctively, I turned around to look and saw him lying on the floor. Had he been attacked? My body went on high alert as I heard my heart hammer in my head.
Not good. Dan had taught me that calmness was the key to keeping the upper hand in a situation.
I should have known. I should have been more careful. I should have listened and found those heart beats. But I didn’t and I’m the only one to blame.
One grabbed me from behind. It was the third one, from what I had gathered. It was the height. He was way taller than me and taller than both of my friends His strong left arm wrapped around my torso, pinning my arms to my sides, and the other pressed against my chest, pushing his broad palm across my mouth. There was no chance to bite him.
While I tried to struggle, I could watch number one get up from the ground. I didn’t see number two, but I knew he was there somewhere. I wanted to scream against the hand, but then he used his index finger and thumb to hold my nose. I panicked. I started kicking. I was back in that cell again, facing those three men that White had sent to punish me. I was weak again, human again, submitted to three men that were allowed to do everything to me apart from getting me pregnant. I was that terror that made me need too much air and faint
“Pull that tape off her mouth, I wanna fuck it,” I heard someone slur – number two.
“Are you a fucking idiot? As soon as she’s awake again, she’s gonna chew your dick off,” said number three.
“Then let me have her tits.”
“No, those are mine,” number three said, underlining his claim by pinching my nipples, which made me flinch. “Oh, our little princess is waking up!”
They had taped my mouth shut and my hands together behind my back. I was lying on them and it was more than just uncomfortable, it was painful. Number three was straddling my chest, had pulled down my bra and pushed my sweater under my chin.
My legs and bum were freezing, my feet were taped together, too, and I was wet between my legs. That’s when I realized that my shorts had been pulled down and I had a wet disgusting tongue licking me, in an attempt to grease my entrance.
“You’re right on time,” number two grinned at me. “My friends are going to play with you first and then I’m going to fuck your ass. I’m betting it’s nice and tight. The first who makes you moan, is going to keep you.”
The licking between my legs stopped.
“When did we agree on that?” Number one asked; I could feel his hands pushing my tights open.
“Just now!” Two said.
“That’s not fair!” Three argued, now massaging my breasts, his butt lowering down and brushing my stomach.
My stomach. I stared at it. It was still flat, but I could feel my child twitch. I watched that SOB’s butt lower further in slow motion and it was all I needed.
Shifting my hands alone, I used my thumbs to try and pierce or cut the tape at my wrists. And I started to buckle. I needed to get that man away from my child.
“See, she’s a feisty one, she would have bitten off your cock!”
As I felt the tape giving in I shifted completely and burst into action. Tearing the tape at my wrists by pulling my arms apart, I snarled at Three who bellowed in surprise and fell backwards on number one. I jumped to my feet and pulled up my shorts, sorted my bra and sweater within the blink of an eye, and cut through the tape at my feet with one movement of my clawed hands.
Three and One were still busy with untangling each other and get on their feet as I brought up one hand and took my time with removing the tape. The three men were staring at me if they couldn’t believe what they saw. They were petrified.
I couldn’t see the diner, but its light shone dimly past the building we were standing behind. It was far enough for them not to outrun me.
My smile grew slowly and turned into a grin at an equal pace. Still, they didn’t move, paralyzed by the sight of me. I tilted my head, licked across my fangs, and asked, with my now slightly distorted voice: “Who wants to go first?”
They didn’t know that I already decided the sequence in which I would kill them. So, I didn’t care when they started to run. As expected, Number Two was the slowest, Three was just a tad faster, his speed limited by his height. Number one was my first target anyhow.
I sped up quickly and jumped. Pulling up my legs I aimed and collided with his back using my momentum and body to make him fall. I heard the smacking sound of bones breaking. He wouldn’t so anywhere any time soon, falling to the ground like a cut down tree. I rather felt like skateboarding.
Leaving one where I brought him down, I went after three, who desperately changed his course as he saw me approaching. I jumped again and slid across the gravel, using my left hand to navigate and my right to cut through his Achilles tendon. He fell just as hard as his friend.
After that, all I had to do was turn around and face Two, who was sweating like a pig, and panting severely.
“You want to fuck my mouth?” I asked him, tilting my head again, and made a step towards him, from which he instantly retreated and shook his head rapidly.
His heart was pounding so wildly, I didn’t need to concentrate to hear it.
“Oh, right!” I lifted my index finger. “My ass.” I grinned at him, showing off my fangs once more, listening to his body having a panic attack and sweating out the booze he had been drinking.
“How about,” I couldn’t help but chuckle, which sounded even creepy to me. “I hand your ass to you?”
Honestly, it had sounded funny to me when I came up with it, but as soon as I heard me say those words, I wondered if I could actually do it. I didn’t think, didn’t hesitate, didn’t restrain myself. To me these men were those I had promised death. And I was hell-bent to keep my promise. The darkness inside my head was celebrating and I, I offered my Beast a hand for the first time and she took it.
As I pounced onto number two, I felt as if something inside me was mended and something different took place. At that moment, as I flew through the cool night air, claws ready, growling, I realized that I wasn’t divided into human and beast. Not anymore. The Beast and I were one.
Hands and feet on the man’s torso, I decided to give it a try. I turned around, placed my knees on his arms and pressed my butt into his face, clawing my hands into the flesh on his left hip, breathed in deeply, tasting the adrenaline on my tongue and pulled with all the strength I had in me.
I never had heard a man – or anything else – scream like that before. My ears were filled with his song and the sound of me fracturing his vertebra at is lower back. He fell silent, losing consciousness and I blinked at my work, slightly disappointed that I hadn’t managed to flip his pelvis entirely. Yet, I didn’t have any interest in finishing my work.
Number Three hadn’t managed to get up, despite him trying relentlessly. He still was when I walked up to him.
“Not so strong anymore, are we?” I snarled.
“Oh God, please, please!” He squealed.
“Please,” he huffed, tasting the concrete below him. “It was the first time. I’ve never…”
I stopped him by stepping onto his back.
“You know why I know you’re lying?” I asked him, while he was gasping for air. “It’s not your pulse, or your sweat. It’s that little trick you had to make me faint.”
This time I straddled him, his back to be precise, and sat down. I heard him inhale deeply as he could breathe. Leaning down I reached around his head and placed my left hand on his mouth.
“Let me remind you,” I offered and used the index finger and thumb of my right hand to hold his nose.
Very quickly he started struggling and tried to push me off his back and slash at me. To no avail. As a reward I pressed my knees into his armpits, which made him grunt. My senses told me when he was about to faint and I let go, standing up and stepping away. He heaved violently, pushing himself up. All I needed to do was kick into his side to make him turn around.
“Feels great, doesn’t it?” I asked him.
“What the hell are you?” Was his response.
I don’t know what I was expecting of me, for which reaction he had been aiming for. But his question didn’t make me hesitate. It made me laugh. I can’t remember the last time I laughed that heartily, and it felt liberating.
Honestly, I think he was sure that I would let him go. He hadn’t seen what I had done to his drunk friend. So I walked around him to his head, went down on my knees and helped him sit up, and gave him the opportunity to see how I managed to almost completely twist his friend’s lower body around 180 degrees. His breath stuck in his throat.
“P… please…” he stuttered, trembling. “Don’t do that to me.”
“I won’t,” I promised and ripped open his throat with one swift movement.
Both his arms shot up as he desperately tried to keep his blood in his body, while I placed him back on the ground almost gently. There was no way for my hands not to be bathed in blood, but I didn’t care. Instead, I watched as life was bleeding out of him and the light vanishing from his eyes. It was strangely satisfying and the darkness in my head calmed, but it wasn’t sated. There was one left.
The Beast Is Me (The Beast And Me Book 4) Page 8